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LTD: Dracula Stops Killing Humans Because He Can Taste Our Despair

ROMANIA. Notorious V.A.M.P.I.R.E., Dracula is reportedly leaving Romanians alone for the first time ever after torturing them for centuries Records report that he killed ten people in January and February (his usual appetite), but by March, he only slaughtered an old man. And nobody has seen him since then. At first, locals were thanking the ground they walked on.

Brianna S.
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2 1671

LTD: Jeepers Creepers! NY Man Follows Pinterest Life Quote & Takes Out His Eyeballs

NEW YORK CITY, NY. On Sunday night, emergency services received a call from an Upper East Side apartment complex where investigators discovered a man who scooped out his own eyeballs. According to the man’s neighbors, his dog was barking so loud that they knocked on his door to tell him to “Shut up or go back to Staten Island like the trash disguised in a suit you are!”

Brianna S.
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0 1146

LTD: Tik Tok Witch Teens Try To Curse All Anti-Maskers, But No Such Luck

LOS ANGELES, CA. They were maybe our last shot, the baby witches of Tik Tok. They are confident, educated, socially aware young people who can talk to the moon, read tarot cards, and otherwise live out their dreams as Marnie from Halloweentown. But unfortunately, our dear Grandma Debbie Reynolds is dead, and the world is fucked, with or without witchcraft.

Brianna S.
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