For those curious about my pen name, my actual name was lifted from a Voodoo priestess in one of my mother’s favorite horror movies. Since then, I fell in love with learning all things Voodoo. One day, my magnum opus will share the fruits of my labor, but til then . . .

MAGIC VOODOO FUN TIMES!

2020 is a sh*tshow. Have you ever wondered if it’ll get better? I tell you, that keeps me up at night. Good thing I have a spell to give me prophetic dreams!

I didn’t buy any ingredients for myrrh ink, so I used a gel pen. (Guys, I have a budget.) I did use up our olive oil to anoint my parchment.

Voodoo
I was already judged.

No wooden drawers or a printer available for use. Hmm. My book seems to praise improvisation so

voodoo shrine
When will 2020 suck less?

Results!

First, let me say I screwed up and lit my incense way before I fell asleep. (Smoke billowed up and out of my shrine in the style of a translucent aurora borealis. You can’t fake that hype.) I tried, but I didn’t get to sleep until 12:30.

I didn’t dream. For the past 3 days, I dreamed vivid quick succession tidbits that let me confuse imagination and reality. Last night I got bupkis. Maybe Hermes didn’t like my shrine. (Let’s hope it’s that)

Voodoo Take 2!

Ooh la la! The next simplest (coughcheapestcough) spell spices up your . . . love. . . life! Or guaranteed money back! Oh yeah, we’re going there!

Before we make a man shaped cinnamon roll to eat, don’t forget the glue. (I’m not using glue.)

I honestly want to call my boyfriend cringe-y bun related names now. Please leave your preferred choices below.

voodoo bread man
Finally, we eat!

Results.

Because I bake, I didn’t expect much to come from this. Sans expectations of a culinary masterpiece, it tasted okay enough.

An ad for . . . stuff . . . stuck to my shoe. Kinda underwhelming results, but there they were.

No Disrespect

I mean no disrespect to practitioners of Voodoo, but one thing I’ve gathered from my research is now that Voodoo has become a commodity, in the public reaches it’s been bastardized to some extent.

Recipes changed as they changed hands for one reason or another. My spellbook may have decent methods in it, but some of them come off as questionable, especially when they start improvising.

Religion, any religion, is not something you can shortcut and they actually like to be taken seriously. My spell book, despite it’s title, isn’t real Voodoo. However funny this is, it’s also really not.

Voodoo Books Used and Recommended

Used: Alvarado, Denise. The Voodoo Doll Spellbook, Weiser Books, 2010.
Recommend: Haskins, Jim. Voodoo & Hoodoo, Original Publication, 1978. The history/cultural impact portion part makes the book worth owning.

Don’t hex the moon.

About the Author

Hi. I'm judgemental and have a horrible sense of humor. Read my stuff and validate me pls.

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