Notes from the Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Red Christmas – Jack Frost
The second film of Red Christmas was the gloriously insane Jack Frost; and no, it’s not the Michael Keaton snow-dad movie. The movie is absolutely wacky as Hell and has the distinguishment of being Shannon Elizabeth’s feature film “debutt.”
Also, this movie introduces an ultimate betrayal of our good host, and of us, the viewers. Even now, I still feel the sting of the horror host community’s betrayal of Joe Bob.
Jack Frost (1997)
Opening Rant: Joe Bob promises some guests, and that we will get “nasty with a snowman.”
1997’s Jack Frost is a direct-to-video horror-comedy. It was written and directed by Michael Cooney. The film features a town called Snowmonton under siege by a serial killer named Jack Frost. Oh, also, Jack Frost is a mutant snowman resulting from a genetic accident. The movie is every bit as ridiculous as you’d expect.
The film stars a smorgasbord of character actors and was shot in Big Bear, California. The film features Christopher Allport, Scott MacDonald, Stephen Mendel, and F. William Parker. The film’s largest claim to fame is that it is the debut, of course, of Shannon Elizabeth. Shannon Elizabeth would really explode onto the scene for teenage males everywhere in 1999’s American Pie a couple of years after.
The film is 90-minutes of black comedy insanity and has developed quite the cult following.
Review
Drive-In Fashion Show: Darcy wears an extremely low-cut Christmas-red ensemble with black trim hood and high-laced boots.
Joe Bob, perhaps not so surprisingly, gave Jack Frost a half-star higher rating than Black Christmas. The film is far better drive-in fare than Black Christmas and fits firmly within the insane wheelhouse that is The Last Drive-In. Jack Frost comes in, officially, at three and a half stars.
There is a lot to admire about Jack Frost given its low-budget and ridiculous premise. It has some truly ingenious deaths, swerves, and generally screwed up moments that satisfy a lot of those drive-in cravings that we seek.
For example, here is a snowman murdering a nude Shannon Elizabeth:
As a whole, this might be the most fun film that has been on The Last Drive-In since season one’s DEATHGASM. Everything about the movie clicks from the outrageous cartoony writing and killings to the clever usage of Christmas Carols for a score. We even get a nice segment around the third break with Joe Bob Briggs regaling us about the British farces. This second feature of the night basically offered everything.
There was also the continual tease of guest horror hosts, which was a bit of an impish trick on Joe Bob’s part. But the brand new musical number, “Lonely Red Christmas,” was a wonderful holiday treat.
Now, this was my first experience watching Jack Frost. I only knew it from its amazing lenticular VHS cover I kept seeing on the shelf at my local video store as a kid. I am sure you’ll recognize it from the Blockbuster Video days too, even if you’ve never seen the movie.
Jack Frost might be one of the best experiences I’ve had on The Last Drive-In yet and I fully believe it is a four-star film. Joe Bob clearly deducted a half star due to actual breasts that aren’t made of snow, but I’m not as picky. Basically, I had a complete blast. The movie is ridiculous as all hell, and there were some genuinely cringe-inducing kills that really stand out for me. The scene with the Christmas ornaments, for example, is already on my list of the best kills in horror films ever.
Also, any film that features an anti-snowman firing-line with hair-dryers is clearly worth three stars at the minimum. It just helps that the rest of the film is so goddamn insane.
Best Line: “Well it ain’t fucking Frosty!” – Jack Frost
Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals
As has become a tradition, let’s turn to Shudder’s handy-dandy Drive-In tweet for those official totals.
- 1 Darcy Costume Change (SnowTran Darcy!)
- 2 “Snowballs” Jokes
- 18 Days of Shooting this Movie
- Darcy Jailing
- Christmas-Pig Joking
- Darcy Impalement Threatening
- Silver Bolo Awarding
- Gratuitous Character Actors
- Gratutitous Farce Lecturing
- Sled-Decapitation Fu
- Yuki Pasty Fu
Jack Frost was pretty much exactly what I would personally want in a Drive-In experience. There was a huge sense of fun throughout the entire experience, even if Joe Bob’s party plans, cruelly, did not seem to pan out throughout the evening. Poor guy.
One big surprise was the beginning of the Silver Bolo Awards, which will seem to be a feature of The Last Drive-In going forward. It is an award representing excellence in horror blogging and the horror community. The first recipient was, of course, Dinosaur Dracula, which is well-deserved. I’ve been following Matt, the blogger behind Dinosaur Dracula clear back to the X-Entertainment days and his work made me interested in blogging.
So yes, congratulations, Matt. It is well deserved. It also gives me something to shoot for with Haunted MTL.
Anyway, stay tuned for our final post on Red Christmas, due later this week. Until then, please check out all the other content our new writers have been posting.
Episode two of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was equal parts funny and bloody. This almost always leads to a good time.
The story
We begin this episode with the birth of some puppies that look like they’ve had a rough start to life. Each one is weighed, with the ones who fall short being incinerated.
One pup who is just below the correct weight gets a bit of a thumb on their scale. The scientist weighing them, Wilzig, writes down the proper weight. He later takes the puppy home to raise instead of putting them into what looks like an unforgiving training program.
Eventually, we see Wilzig put some blue glowing thing into his neck. When a soldier comes for him, Dog attacks the soldier, and the two escape.
We go from there to the wilderness, where Lucy is recovering from the last episode and enjoying a campfire at night. Wilzig and Dog come out of the shadows, saving Lucy from a bug monster. Wilzig tells Lucy she should go home. And if she’s not going to go home, she needs to evolve.
The next day Lucy finds her way to a town called Filly. As a Pennsylvanian, it hurts me to spell it that way. Lucy is entranced by this town, though clearly put off by the fact that no one is very nice here.
She eventually finds her way to a shop run by a delightful woman named Ma June. Ma doesn’t seem particularly interested in helping Lucy. Or, frankly, having Lucy in her shop.
Or in her town.
Eventually, Wilzig is tracked to this same shop, being tracked by The Ghoul. This is our final primary character. Lucy defends Wilzig, being aided at the last moment by Maximus.
Maximus, by the way, has been having a terrible time. After finally becoming a squire he’s disappointed to find that his knight, Knight Titus, is a terrible person.
Fortunately, Maximus doesn’t have to put up with Titus for long. After Titus gets the bright idea to go hunting, he’s attacked by a mutated bear. Maximus freezes, unable to save him. Then, well, he decides not to save him.
It was Titus’s idea to go hunt the bear, after all.
What worked
The first thing I want to draw attention to is the shootout scene at Filly. This scene checked every box a fight scene should check. It was fun to watch, with great effects. But it also gave us insight into the characters. Lucy is a decent fighter and has a strong moral compass. The Ghoul is callus and desensitized to death. And Maximus continues to be, well, sort of bad at this whole fighting thing. But with enough moral fortitude that we have a hard time blaming him.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the dog. Who’s name, as far as I’ve been able to ascertain, is just Dog. Which is fine. He doesn’t need to have a name to be a very good boy. He’s sweet, loyal, and fearless.
Also, puppies. Puppies are always great.
Finally, I’d like to shine a spotlight on Lucy’s reaction to the world at large. She is both amazed and terrified by everything. And while she certainly doesn’t want to be rude, she also doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. The best example of this is when she stops to ask for directions with a bright smile and a gun.
Once again, I don’t have anything bad to say about this episode. It was funny, dark, and fun to watch. I’m very much looking forward to the rest of the season.
(4 / 5)
Launching with worldwide excitement, Fallout is based on the extremely popular game series of the same name. Fans of the series have waited with anticipation and trepidation to see if the Prime series would live up to the game.
Having now watched the first episode I can say that, so far, it’s successful.
The story
Our story begins with a children’s birthday party. A performer is there with his daughter, giving horse rides and taking pictures with the kids.
As much as the adults try to focus on the party and the kids, it’s impossible to ignore the looming threat of war that’s on everyone’s mind.
Of course, it’s during this party that war comes, and the bombs drop.
We then cut to after the war and into one of the vaults established to protect humankind and the American Way. For future reference, this is Vault 33. We meet Lucy, our first main character, who’s petitioning to be married to a man from Vault 32 to ensure DNA diversity.
On the wedding night, though, Lucy and the rest of Vault 33 are met with a horrible surprise. The group they let in is not in fact from Vault 32, but is instead a team of raiders from the surface. The raiders kill a lot of the vault dwellers and kidnap Lucy’s father.
We are then introduced to our second main character, Maximus. He is in training to become a Knight in the Brotherhood of Steel. And, well, he’s not doing great.
Things get worse when his best friend Dane becomes a squire before him. But when Dane is hurt, Maximus gets their spot.
We then go back to Lucy, who has decided to leave the vault and find her dad. Of course, the council of her vault doesn’t want her to go. So she is aided by her brother Norm and cousin Chet in a wild escape.
What worked
The first thing that deserves attention is the exceptional character work. Our three main characters are fleshed out and relatable right away. We feel sympathetic for The Ghoul before he’s even introduced as such. We love Lucy’s nativity and selflessness. And we love Maximus for his honesty and passion for his cause.
While these characters are their own people, they also exhibit the three responses we might expect to see in a post-apocalyptic world. We have the hopeful optimist who doesn’t understand how bad things are. We have the aspiring hero who wants to make the world better by force. And we have the self-serving individual who’s given up on the rest of humanity and is only focused on surviving.
Another thing I enjoyed about this episode was the balance of humor and gore. Because there was certainly enough blood and guts for even the most hardcore horror lover. We had a violent sabotage, a brawl with raiders, and even several nuclear bombs.
But there were a lot of funny moments as well. Usually from Lucy. Her overall goodwill and fearless gumption are absolutely hilarious, especially given the horrors she’s facing. It never ceases to amuse me.
Both of these aspects are done perfectly. The jokes land and the bloody scenes pull no punches. It was delightful.
All in all, this was an exciting start to a much-anticipated series. Here’s hoping they’re able to stick the landing.
For more tv shows based on video games, check out my review of Witcher.
(4 / 5)
Episode seven of American Horror Story Delicate was a classic AHS flashback episode. If you were excited to see what Preecher had to say to Anna at the end of the last episode, I’m sorry to say that you will not get that satisfaction. However, we did learn all sorts of other fascinating things about the strange coven hunting Anna. And, we learned all sorts of things we didn’t know about Dex’s first wife, Adeline.
The story
We begin our story with a woman giving birth alone in a barn. When it becomes clear that she’s not going to be able to deliver vaginally, she pulls out a knife and cuts her stomach open to pull out her children.
For whatever reason, this is when the coven of witches decides to make themselves known.
We then cut to 2013, when Dex was still married to Adeline. In true Dex fashion, he’s surprised her with a puppy.
While that sounds great in theory, dogs are something a couple should talk about, not gift each other with as a surprise. An adult would know that. A trust fund boy like Dex does not.
Adeline owns a vegan restaurant called Ave Hestia. Love that name. She seems to be living a great life. She has a career she’s passionate about, friends who love her, and a husband she seems kind of fond of.
Maybe that’s why she didn’t want a puppy. She already had one.
Of course, things aren’t as good as they appear. We soon find out that Adeline was one of those babies we saw at the start of the episode. The other baby was Sonia, the painter.
And yes, both of these characters are played by Annabelle Dexter-Jones.
Adeline has stepped away from their family, and whatever dark things they do. But the family isn’t happy with her decision. And if she isn’t going to come back willingly, they’re going to make her.
What worked
To start with, I loved the character, Adeline. She is fierce, she is fearless, and relentless. I feel like this would have been a far different story if Adeline had been our main character. It was astounding to see her interact with the same people Anna has, and get a completely different response. It’s clear now, how much everyone around Anna resents her for simply not being Adeline.
I also appreciated that there was just a shocking amount of blood in this episode. From the start when Adeline and Sonia are born, to the climactic end of Adeline, this episode is just drenched in blood.
Finally, I’m fascinated by the changes in this season from the book it’s based on. Because absolutely none of this was in the book. Compared to this, the book is heartwarming.
The book is kind of heartwarming even without the comparison.
But I love the fact that, even with just two episodes left in the season, I have no idea what’s going to happen. I do not know what Anna is carrying. I do not know if she’s going to survive this. I do not know what these people want with her.
But I can’t wait to find out.
What didn’t work
All that being said, it is a bit frustrating to have no forward momentum in this episode. This was all backstory, and it felt like there wasn’t enough backstory to fill a full forty minutes. Because of that, it dragged. There were a lot of scenes that just didn’t need to be as long as they were. It felt like they could have cut that down considerably, and had some time to check in with our main characters at either the start or the end of the episode.
There are only two episodes left in the season, and I can honestly say I have no idea what’s going to happen. But so far the story has been dark, bloody, and provocative. So I hope they can manage to end it on a high note.
(4 / 5)
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