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We did it, Mutants! The Last Drive-In has been renewed by Shudder for a second season! Plus, we survived a bunch of crazy, creepy movies in this first season. Good job everyone.

Tonight’s theme seems to be “one for Joe Bob” and “one for Darcy.” You’ll see why.

https://twitter.com/hpkomic/status/1132106889532022784
I think everyone felt that way.

Blood Harvest (1987)

Opening Rant: Hipster hotels.

It is strange that the only film Tiny Tim ever starred in is a low-budget slasher film. He was a figure in popular culture who you would assume would have been more present in the movies. Blood Harvest is a 1987 slasher film that follows a young woman who is back home from college. She discovers things are amiss at home and finds herself stalked by a pair of siblings. Meanwhile, her friends are also being picked off by a mysterious killer – oh – and one of the brothers is dressed like a clown.

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Directed by Bill Rebane and written by Frank Kinnikin, Blood Harvest stars Tiny Tim as “The Marvelous Mervo,” Itonia Salchek, and Peter Krause.

Review

Joe Bob Briggs was particularly enthused by Blood Harvest. He tried on his previous shows to expand the audience and notoriety of the film to mixed results. With The Last Drive-In, Joe Bob was quite generous with the score of the film, awarding it three stars. The movie is certainly distinct among the films we’ve seen over the course of the season; mostly because of the novelty of Tiny Tim. The singer infused the entirety of Joe Bob’s host segments and led to some incredible moments.

The show featured two guests in Justin Martell and Bucks Burnette. Martell was on to promote his biography of Tiny Tim. He was kind enough to show Joe Bob video footage of Tiny Tim watching Joe Bob talking about Blood Harvest back in the 1990s. It was an incredibly sweet moment and definitely a highlight for the season. Burnette, Tiny Tim’s manager towards the end of his life, also shared a great many insights about the performer.

While Blood Harvest is not a great film, but we here at Haunted MTL appreciate how earnest it is. Of course there is the novelty of Tiny Tim who, naturally, sings several songs. The Haunted MTL rating of the film is two and a half stars. One problem is that the film has an incredibly small cast and is very much set in a single location. Ultimately this makes it feels like a very small-scale project. There is also the issue of Tiny Tim himself. Obviously a fantastic performer, he feels disconnected overall from what else is going on in the movie. This makes a lot of a sense, though, as he did not share the “stage” well, reportedly. Many of his scenes have him in isolation from the other characters.

This is no tiptoe through the tulips at all!

Best Line: “How about some meaningless sex?”

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

Opening Rant: Joe Bob has zero tolerance for zero tolerance.

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We’re in Darcy’s ballpark with the final film of the season. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II is a 1987 Canadian horror film that is only considered a sequel to the original Prom Night through marketing. Whereas the first Prom Night was a slasher film with no supernatural angle, Hello Mary Lou is the story of a high school that is tormented by the possession of a teenager by the ghost of a former student from the 1950s named Mary Lou. The titular ghost takes control of a student and proceeds to seduce and murder her way through archetypal teenagers and adults alike.

Directed by Bruce Pittman, Hello Mary Lou stars Michael Ironside, Wendy Lyon, Louis Ferreira, and Lisa Schrage.

Review

Joe Bob was particularly generous with Hello Mary Lou. It is a solid film, but given Darcy’s love of it, Joe Bob awarded it four stars. While the host segments did provide a great deal of information about the origins of the film and the talents behind it, the little subplot about The Last Drive-In prom was a season highlight. Of the factoids, what was most substantial was the revelation of the film originally being titled The Haunting of Hamilton High and the fact that many of the characters were given surnames referencing key horror directors.

The real highlight of the episode, and the finale of the show revolved around a special prom for Darcy. Darcy, of course, was dressed up in a prom gown as Mary Lou, and Joe Bob looked dapper as hell in a shiny black and silver coat. The show finished with John Brennan and Bigfeet performing and the rest of the crew coming out to dance and share in the prom fun. It was a touching and hilarious moment.

Hello Mary Lou is a very good supernatural slasher film with some impressive kills, effects, and a surprisingly amount of full frontal nudity. It is honestly the perfect sort of movie for The Last Drive-In and is a four star film. The performances in the movie are also pretty impressive, especially Wendy Lion as both Vicki and Mary Lou’s possessed form who is able to channel oversexed menace quite effectively. Some of the special effects are quite fascinating, such as a liquid chalkboard and maybe the creepiest rocking-horse ever put on film. Also, there is a kill involving a locker that might be an all-time-best in the season. It’s that good.

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Believe it or not, chekov’s gun does not apply here

Best Line: ” I can’t believe this. I’m 18, I’m stunningly good looking, prom’s like a week away, and I don’t have a date. “

Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals

  • 1 Ancient Artifact (hello VHS tape!)
  • 6 seconds of a stunt-woman being on fire
  • 9 horror director references in character names
  • 10 Twitter Bans for Darcy
  • 22,000 dollars to license the rights to the song “Hello Mary Lou”
  • Brick Fu
  • Foreclosure Fu
  • Volleyball Fu
  • Trapper-Keeper Fu
  • Human Pinatas
  • Double Dose of Chloroform
  • Gratuitous Layers of Reality
  • Forcible Clown Ejection
  • Gratuitous Leg Lotioning
  • Blood Harvesting
  • Scottish Joking
  • Prom Pranking with Fiery Death
  • Locker Squishing
  • Chest Bursting

Well, with that we wrap up the first season of recaps for The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs. Before we go, I just wanted to share what a pleasure this season has been for me as a fan of horror. I also wanted to share how wonderful the experience of writing these recaps has been for me.

As always, please share your thoughts with us about The Last Drive-In. Also, please check out our other great content here at Haunted MTL.

The Drive-In will never die.

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Movies n TV

Fallout, The Target

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Episode two of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was equal parts funny and bloody. This almost always leads to a good time.

The story

We begin this episode with the birth of some puppies that look like they’ve had a rough start to life. Each one is weighed, with the ones who fall short being incinerated.

One pup who is just below the correct weight gets a bit of a thumb on their scale. The scientist weighing them, Wilzig, writes down the proper weight. He later takes the puppy home to raise instead of putting them into what looks like an unforgiving training program.

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Eventually, we see Wilzig put some blue glowing thing into his neck. When a soldier comes for him, Dog attacks the soldier, and the two escape.

Ella Purnell in Fallout.

We go from there to the wilderness, where Lucy is recovering from the last episode and enjoying a campfire at night. Wilzig and Dog come out of the shadows, saving Lucy from a bug monster. Wilzig tells Lucy she should go home. And if she’s not going to go home, she needs to evolve.

The next day Lucy finds her way to a town called Filly. As a Pennsylvanian, it hurts me to spell it that way. Lucy is entranced by this town, though clearly put off by the fact that no one is very nice here.

She eventually finds her way to a shop run by a delightful woman named Ma June. Ma doesn’t seem particularly interested in helping Lucy. Or, frankly, having Lucy in her shop.

Or in her town.

Eventually, Wilzig is tracked to this same shop, being tracked by The Ghoul. This is our final primary character. Lucy defends Wilzig, being aided at the last moment by Maximus.

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Maximus, by the way, has been having a terrible time. After finally becoming a squire he’s disappointed to find that his knight, Knight Titus, is a terrible person.

Fortunately, Maximus doesn’t have to put up with Titus for long. After Titus gets the bright idea to go hunting, he’s attacked by a mutated bear. Maximus freezes, unable to save him. Then, well, he decides not to save him.

It was Titus’s idea to go hunt the bear, after all.

What worked

Walton Goggins in Fallout.

The first thing I want to draw attention to is the shootout scene at Filly. This scene checked every box a fight scene should check. It was fun to watch, with great effects. But it also gave us insight into the characters. Lucy is a decent fighter and has a strong moral compass. The Ghoul is callus and desensitized to death. And Maximus continues to be, well, sort of bad at this whole fighting thing. But with enough moral fortitude that we have a hard time blaming him.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the dog. Who’s name, as far as I’ve been able to ascertain, is just Dog. Which is fine. He doesn’t need to have a name to be a very good boy. He’s sweet, loyal, and fearless.

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Also, puppies. Puppies are always great.

Finally, I’d like to shine a spotlight on Lucy’s reaction to the world at large. She is both amazed and terrified by everything. And while she certainly doesn’t want to be rude, she also doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. The best example of this is when she stops to ask for directions with a bright smile and a gun.

Once again, I don’t have anything bad to say about this episode. It was funny, dark, and fun to watch. I’m very much looking forward to the rest of the season. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Fallout, The End

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Launching with worldwide excitement, Fallout is based on the extremely popular game series of the same name. Fans of the series have waited with anticipation and trepidation to see if the Prime series would live up to the game.

Having now watched the first episode I can say that, so far, it’s successful.

The story

Our story begins with a children’s birthday party. A performer is there with his daughter, giving horse rides and taking pictures with the kids.

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As much as the adults try to focus on the party and the kids, it’s impossible to ignore the looming threat of war that’s on everyone’s mind.

Of course, it’s during this party that war comes, and the bombs drop.

We then cut to after the war and into one of the vaults established to protect humankind and the American Way. For future reference, this is Vault 33. We meet Lucy, our first main character, who’s petitioning to be married to a man from Vault 32 to ensure DNA diversity.

On the wedding night, though, Lucy and the rest of Vault 33 are met with a horrible surprise. The group they let in is not in fact from Vault 32, but is instead a team of raiders from the surface. The raiders kill a lot of the vault dwellers and kidnap Lucy’s father.

We are then introduced to our second main character, Maximus. He is in training to become a Knight in the Brotherhood of Steel. And, well, he’s not doing great.

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Things get worse when his best friend Dane becomes a squire before him. But when Dane is hurt, Maximus gets their spot.

Aaron Moten in Fallout.

We then go back to Lucy, who has decided to leave the vault and find her dad. Of course, the council of her vault doesn’t want her to go. So she is aided by her brother Norm and cousin Chet in a wild escape.

What worked

The first thing that deserves attention is the exceptional character work. Our three main characters are fleshed out and relatable right away. We feel sympathetic for The Ghoul before he’s even introduced as such. We love Lucy’s nativity and selflessness. And we love Maximus for his honesty and passion for his cause.

While these characters are their own people, they also exhibit the three responses we might expect to see in a post-apocalyptic world. We have the hopeful optimist who doesn’t understand how bad things are. We have the aspiring hero who wants to make the world better by force. And we have the self-serving individual who’s given up on the rest of humanity and is only focused on surviving.

Another thing I enjoyed about this episode was the balance of humor and gore. Because there was certainly enough blood and guts for even the most hardcore horror lover. We had a violent sabotage, a brawl with raiders, and even several nuclear bombs.

But there were a lot of funny moments as well. Usually from Lucy. Her overall goodwill and fearless gumption are absolutely hilarious, especially given the horrors she’s facing. It never ceases to amuse me.

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Ella Purnell in Fallout

Both of these aspects are done perfectly. The jokes land and the bloody scenes pull no punches. It was delightful.

All in all, this was an exciting start to a much-anticipated series. Here’s hoping they’re able to stick the landing.

For more tv shows based on video games, check out my review of Witcher. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

American Horror Story Delicate, Ave Hestia

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Episode seven of American Horror Story Delicate was a classic AHS flashback episode. If you were excited to see what Preecher had to say to Anna at the end of the last episode, I’m sorry to say that you will not get that satisfaction. However, we did learn all sorts of other fascinating things about the strange coven hunting Anna. And, we learned all sorts of things we didn’t know about Dex’s first wife, Adeline.

The story

We begin our story with a woman giving birth alone in a barn. When it becomes clear that she’s not going to be able to deliver vaginally, she pulls out a knife and cuts her stomach open to pull out her children.

For whatever reason, this is when the coven of witches decides to make themselves known.

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Ashlie Atkinson in American Horror Story.

We then cut to 2013, when Dex was still married to Adeline. In true Dex fashion, he’s surprised her with a puppy.

While that sounds great in theory, dogs are something a couple should talk about, not gift each other with as a surprise. An adult would know that. A trust fund boy like Dex does not.

Adeline owns a vegan restaurant called Ave Hestia. Love that name. She seems to be living a great life. She has a career she’s passionate about, friends who love her, and a husband she seems kind of fond of.

Maybe that’s why she didn’t want a puppy. She already had one.

Of course, things aren’t as good as they appear. We soon find out that Adeline was one of those babies we saw at the start of the episode. The other baby was Sonia, the painter.

Annabelle Dexter-Jones in American Horror Story.

And yes, both of these characters are played by Annabelle Dexter-Jones.

Adeline has stepped away from their family, and whatever dark things they do. But the family isn’t happy with her decision. And if she isn’t going to come back willingly, they’re going to make her.

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What worked

To start with, I loved the character, Adeline. She is fierce, she is fearless, and relentless. I feel like this would have been a far different story if Adeline had been our main character. It was astounding to see her interact with the same people Anna has, and get a completely different response. It’s clear now, how much everyone around Anna resents her for simply not being Adeline.

I also appreciated that there was just a shocking amount of blood in this episode. From the start when Adeline and Sonia are born, to the climactic end of Adeline, this episode is just drenched in blood.

Finally, I’m fascinated by the changes in this season from the book it’s based on. Because absolutely none of this was in the book. Compared to this, the book is heartwarming.

The book is kind of heartwarming even without the comparison.

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But I love the fact that, even with just two episodes left in the season, I have no idea what’s going to happen. I do not know what Anna is carrying. I do not know if she’s going to survive this. I do not know what these people want with her.

But I can’t wait to find out.

What didn’t work

All that being said, it is a bit frustrating to have no forward momentum in this episode. This was all backstory, and it felt like there wasn’t enough backstory to fill a full forty minutes. Because of that, it dragged. There were a lot of scenes that just didn’t need to be as long as they were. It felt like they could have cut that down considerably, and had some time to check in with our main characters at either the start or the end of the episode.

There are only two episodes left in the season, and I can honestly say I have no idea what’s going to happen. But so far the story has been dark, bloody, and provocative. So I hope they can manage to end it on a high note.

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

If you’re a fan of my work, please check out my latest story, Nova, on Paper Beats World. New chapters launch every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

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