Jim first solo short dives into Nick Frost’s terrifying taxi thriller ‘Black Cab’ on this week’s Streamin’ Demons, awarding it 4/5 Cthulhus. Discover why this nail-biting British horror deserves your attention. Spoiler-free review.
(4 / 5)
Black Cab review Transcript:
00:01.17
Jim Phoenix
Everyone Jim Phoenix here and today’s stream and demons. This is definitely not take 18. By the way, we are doing a small stream and demons. One of the solo shows. We’ve been teasing this for a while because sometimes brandic is at a convention. Sometimes I am. But those movies keep coming in. And for our solo stream and demons, we’re focusing only on what’s current. but We’re not doing deep dives and older films. This is the new and what is absolutely current.
00:32.66
Jim Phoenix
And do I have a surprise for a very first one? I’ve been sitting on this screener for some time now. And if you read the title, it’s not a surprise. Just read the title of the podcast you’re viewing, really. But we’re going to do Nick Frost’s Black Cab, a shutter original, all this nut and next demon demons.
01:05.19
Jim Phoenix
and We’re not going to play the entire thing. You know, I miss the banter I do. You know, there’s no one else to do that with me. mr Yeah. I know. During that banter, I’ll get Rise of the Drow, the collector’s edition. You can actually kill someone with from AAW games. Love it. Coming soon as a review, by the way. Spoiler alert, five out of five.
01:32.62
Jim Phoenix
Oh, wait, we’re back. Hey, kids, a year one. That’s actually day 11. Wow. I’m ripping off Letterman in my very first show. Good for me. All right. So today it’s just me. Don’t change. Don’t change. Don’t touch that dial. You do not touch that dial. I’ll use my sexy voice if I have to. But you were not going to touch that dial on our very first mini stream and demons. We’ve got black cab.
02:01.08
Jim Phoenix
with Nick Frost. It came out this year, it came out this month. What am I talking about? It came out a couple of days ago on Shutter. It’s a Shutter original and I’m gonna read off the IMDB. A couple who find their Jovio cab driver, diverse them into a remote haunted road, revealing disturbing motives and his true intentions. If you don’t understand that this is a Nick Frost movie, it’s horror and it’s really well done.
02:31.02
Jim Phoenix
This is written by Virginia Gilbert and IMDB gave it a little bit of a toss, which is weird. Usually ah myself and IMDB are kind of on the same spot on this. But here we go. I think I will give the IMDB the best review so far, apparently. It’s like I’m a taxicab driver, so I wanted to watch a movie, but I didn’t Google it first.
02:59.75
Jim Phoenix
if If you are a Tastic Cab driver and you’re like, oh, Black Cab, it must be about me. I don’t know. I can’t help you. I can’t help you. What I can help you right now is the setup and the premise for Black Cab is great. From the moment the picture actually starts to roll, the psychological drama starts.
03:25.99
Jim Phoenix
And it’s only an hour, 24 minutes. So it’s it’s actually a pretty tight movie. I will give you some spoiler free reviews because there’s something in act three that didn’t work for me. So I’m going to parse that out as a spoiler free review, because this is brand new. It’s on shutter. If you don’t have shutter and you’re a horror fan, why the hell don’t you have shutter? Honestly, if you have like five bucks, wherever much it is, don’t quote me at five bucks. No more. I have no idea how much shutter it costs anymore.
03:54.75
Jim Phoenix
And you got to spend it. Well, you’re going to spend it on like another Winnie a Pooh latte from Star Fox. No, you’re going to go to Shutter and you’re going to put the streamline and Joe Bob Briggs, whatever it’s going to be and get all this cool Shutter originals like Black Cab. This is worth it alone. Think about this. It’s like renting a movie, writing a movie once a month pays for your subscription at Shutter. Do it thus. Thank you, Shutter. Oh, wait, wait. They just texted me. OK, cool. The money’s in the bank.
04:24.24
Jim Phoenix
But for real, I don’t know what else I can say about this movie other than if you’re a Nick Frost fan, it’s all you need to know. And if you’re not, don’t read the IMDB. If if you’re not a Nick Frost fan, don’t read the IMDB. Go directly to Shutter and start watching it. It is a mix of practical and like spooky, spooky looks like Luba CGI. and But not enough to really throw you off. This story is not this big fantastical CGI ride. No pun intended. It’s scary because. You could probably feel parts of this being real. Meaning. The beginning where the abusive guy is the abusive guy, right? And of course, the controlling his his wife or soon to be a wife or a girlfriend.
05:19.28
Jim Phoenix
into getting one cab, they know ah the mail, I’m in the mail, stuff like that. That’s all gross. And I love how they did the dinner party because it feels real. It feels real and it sets up the characters really well. And you have a flashback prior to this.
05:38.18
Jim Phoenix
that will actually fit in when you watch the rest of the movie. So you have to piece a bit of it together. So maybe that’s why people didn’t really love too much of the editing because yeah, you do have to piece a bit of this together. It’s not hard. They kind of do it for you in the movie. I mean, if you can’t pay attention for more than. Kidding. Just paying making sure you’re paying attention. I’m paying attention. You’re paying attention. You know who else got to be paying attention?
06:07.49
Jim Phoenix
Wrong one. I should be paying attention. I want to say baby Yoda. Baby Yoda. I’ll just do it myself. So you you have this thing and you are getting into a cab after a bad night out. And it’s England or whatever city or small town or it’s an Uber driver or whatever it’s going to be. And the point is you’re trapped with a monster and you think the monster is your significant other. And they probably are a bit of a dick.
06:35.01
Jim Phoenix
But you realize that the cabbie, this is not spoiling the movie whatsoever. I mean, it’s actually in the damn log line. You know, is he mad or just plain evil? That’s actually the synopsis from Shutter. You see this and it’s really not quite stranger danger. Because we think cab drivers aren’t strangers to us. And yet we get in. We.
07:02.39
Jim Phoenix
don’t know their driving background. We don’t know who they are really. We know they’re providing a service and really the only thing that separates us from them is that small piece of plexiglass or if you’re in an Uber nothing whatsoever. So it preys on those fears of the familiar yet the unknown. And I think that does really well. And the acting, by the way, is phenomenal. There’s there’s no one, they’re like, oh, it’s a bad that’s a bad acting job. No, no one’s gonna say that if they attack the acting, they’re just wrong. I’m sorry. You’ve got, beyond Nick Frost alone, can carry this movie. And he doesn’t have to. That’s the cool thing about it. Nick Frost could carry this movie, but he doesn’t have to.
07:46.77
Jim Phoenix
You know, Chanel Carlson does a fantastic job as Ann. And you have people that you absolutely will hate in this movie. And Nick Frost ain’t one of them, really weird. it i Because he’s, you know, the antagonist for us.
08:03.06
Jim Phoenix
But this is where the story kind of gets convoluted. And this is where act three, I think. So I think, you know, act one is great. The setup’s awesome. They spring in the two. That’s amazing. I love it. I love the isolation. He’s taken people from the downtown city center all the way through like this isolated country. You know, we we know the fear of going out to the countryside because no one can hear you scream. Oh, that’s whatever. No one can hear you scream in the countryside either. Trust me.
08:31.44
Jim Phoenix
like
08:35.75
Jim Phoenix
We have the psychological happen. And we start seeing a little bit why Nick Frost’s character is doing what he does. And you’re almost sympathetic for a while. You start sympathizing with the bad guy. Because you realize if you were in his situation, would you do anything differently? Would you do anything differently? And it’s not like he’s just doing this on a whim.
09:06.18
Jim Phoenix
there’s actually something compelling him to do this a pretty decent reason. And if you take away the supernatural part of it all, bring it down. I’m not going to spoil the movie, but bring out the supernatural and bring it down to the very human elements, the very human elements. If this was you in a Nick Frost situation with things happening that you could rationally explain. So not supernatural. So a rational explanation.
09:37.59
Jim Phoenix
And that’s really hard to say without giving it away. And you had the decision to make someone else like pay for it, would you? How how far are you gonna protect your own world versus someone else’s? At what point do you just go eff it? At what point do you become that monster?
10:05.59
Jim Phoenix
And I think each of us has to answer that ourselves. And I think Black Cab poses the question beautifully. It really does. Because if you’re like me, you actually start thinking like, man, I don’t think I’ll do the anything differently. you know So you have the acting great, the writing, the premise is great. The premise and the premise is great, right?
10:29.38
Jim Phoenix
You have the setup is fine, the act one is smooth, act two goes well, act three, it derails. Notice, I didn’t say derails and cars the car crash and burns up in flame. I just said it derails, and I don’t know if this is editing, I don’t know if this is part of the writing at the end, I don’t have the script in front of me. Although that’ll be pretty damn interesting. I don’t know, but something happened where the audience has to fill in a significant gap.
10:59.57
Jim Phoenix
And it’s like, well, what the actual fuck? Oh, by the way, I swear on this one anyway, motherfuckers. So I don’t. Think that works for the ending. Which is what some people are. are Also, this is one thing I will agree with and with IMDB. They give an eye for incomplete, like one guy is giving an eye for incomplete, the cabbie, the cab guy.
11:25.25
Jim Phoenix
And you’re like, well, you’re right. It’s and I don’t I think that’s too a little too harsh to say it’s incomplete, but it’s not an incomplete movie. I think just something happened in Act three. That we’re not exactly sure about. We’re not exactly fine with. It’s just.
11:47.08
Jim Phoenix
you know, like the the set designs, the ambience, the music, everything is great. It’s just, damn, act three just kind of like derails it, it does. But I could be wrong, and maybe this dude on IMDB who I’m not, Red Robin 62, oh my God, there’s a bunch of numbers, fuck it. Red Robin’s also could be wrong, who knows? We might be wrong.
12:13.30
Jim Phoenix
Maybe we’t not ah one way to find out, hour 24, it’s worth it. Cthulhu rating, you already know it, four out of five. Four out of five kafoolos, if the act three landed, it’ll be a 4.5 and easily a sequel-able movie, depending on who lives and who doesn’t. like though I think the premise is sequel-able, without giving it away, right? I think this could be ah along the lines of ah Woman in Black, Purge, stuff like that. It could you it could be sequel-able to the part where it’s franchisable.
12:51.10
Jim Phoenix
but act three really need to work. and I don’t know what I’m wrong. So four out of five, I’m not gonna drop down on 3.5 because it’s just the the acting and the rest of the story don’t deserve to get lower than four. And that’s it, oh my God, that’s it. A 13 minute streaming demons, holy crow.
13:10.49
Jim Phoenix
All right, next up, we’ve got more. we he He never left. We’ve got some stuff, another video coming out, another movie review. And if you like this format, let me know. We can do a few more of them. Basically, this is just the box and I taking me some time to breathe and movies keep coming in. So if you like this one, let us know. If you hate this one, go fuck yourself. All that and more in the next stream of demons. Wait, what? Hit it.
13:40.96
Jim Phoenix
Meow, meow, meow. And we really are going to start reviewing games, video reviews, which means Jim’s going to be very awkward in them. This game is brilliant, by the way. Rides of Drow. Five out of five.
14:03.00
Jim Phoenix
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
14:09.97
Jim Phoenix
Do we have to listen to the entire thing? I guess so.
14:20.11
Jim Phoenix
Do you hear, Kat? Yeah, motherfucker.
There are a lot of holiday horrors with the phrase Silent Night in their title. So, to help keep things straight, Silent Night Bloody Night is the one that no one should waste their time watching.
The story
Released in 1972, Silent Night Bloody Night is the story of an abandoned house. When it’s inherited by a man named Jeffrey Butler, the town tries to buy it from him. He sends his lawyer, John Carter, to negotiate. What follows is a Christmas-time revenge killing spree in the house that used to be an insane asylum and is now just a gross eyesore. Much like in Halloween, a prodigal son came home and started killing. Unlike in Halloween, viewers can’t bring themselves to care.
What worked
I would like to give credit where it’s due when I can find it. There were some legitimately creepy scenes in this movie. Two of them, to be precise.
The shots of the escaped inmates are well done. The makeup, dull facial expressions, and zombie-like movements were truly unnerving. In what is maybe the only well done scene in the whole movie, an inmate walks into the dining room and slowly drains a glass of wine. He then breaks the glass and uses the broken piece to rip out a doctor’s eye.
I also enjoyed or was at least unnerved by, the phone calls the killer makes from the house. They were great little eerie moments.
What didn’t work
I first need to point out that the production value of this movie is ass. I’m sure I could have shot a better movie on a Tamagotchi.
The whole thing is grainy, dark and dull. Even scenes with bright colors have all the brightness of a mechanics wash rag. And there are parts where the physical film was corrupted, leaving big black splotches.
Maybe I’m being too hard on it. I mean it was released in 1972. It’s not like they had access to advanced filming equipment. Like, for instance, The Godfather or Deliverance.
Oh, wait. Both those films also came out in 1972. And they sure as hell don’t look like this. Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory and Twelve Chairs came out the year before and they look great.
Granted, those films were preserved, digitized, and treated like the works of art they are. Silent Night, Bloody Night was apparently kept near a furnace, in the hopes that it might catch fire and never trouble anyone again.
None of that would matter, though, if the movie was any good. But it’s not. Let’s start with the voiceovers because that’s what the movie starts with.
Voiceovers are great when they add context or interesting commentary. A Christmas Story has voiceovers through the whole thing, and that’s great. This commentary, however, is a cautionary tale against telling not showing. It fails to be interesting or give additional information. It’s just bad.
What bothered me most is that not one shred of joy seems to have gone into this film. Unlike Mercy Christmas, which we talked about last week, nobody is having a good time.
The music is morose rather than eerie. The acting is lazy and half-hearted. Even in the most dramatic scenes, everyone delivers their lines like they’re reading off a list of instructions to build something they don’t care about building. And the effects are just horrific. We don’t see a single blow in any of the fight scenes. We see people wincing in pain, and weapons being raised. And that is it.
I suppose we might say this is to stave off the censors. But my God, that’s not what a Christmas horror movie is for. And it still has an R rating, even though we see neither boobies nor an axe biting into flesh. If you’re going to get stuck with the R rating, earn it.
Overall, Silent Night Bloody Night was devoid of anything joyful. It wasn’t fun to watch, it didn’t leave me with anything to ponder or savor. It was just a bad movie, from start to finish.
(1 / 5)
Breaking News
Joe Bob’s Christmas Carnage: A Bloody Good Holiday Special Fri. December 13th – 9pm ET!
-Mountains-
A serene mountain landscape yawns; monumental evergreen trees fingering a brilliant azure sky stroked with wispy clouds. The air is crisper and fresher here, wafting its piney fragrance along the meandering deer path that bends and swerves down the gradual slope…
-Reset-
-City-
A bustling urban environment beckons, its diverse, brightly-clothed denizens laughing with one another, casually parting as you stroll through their midst. Sunlight dances through the crowd, reflecting off of towering buildings, cars, and bicycles. Sounds swell together as though breathing life into all interconnected within this rich tapestry of time and space. The street is a cacophony of alluring smells, and the savory scent of kosher all-beef hot dogs…
-Vegetarian-
Fragrant cumin zing of vegetable samosas…
-European-
Perfume of freshly baked baguettes embraces you in a warm hug as you sit at a small metal café table, savoring an espresso…
-Caffeine Free-
Lavender cremosa…
-Non-Carbonated-
Limonade…
-Reset-
-Beach-
The warm sand squishes between your bare toes as the soft ocean waves lap at your feet, beckoning you to wade further into the cool water…
-No Swimming-
The woven rope hammock stretched between two perfectly-spaced palm trees sways slowly as you lounge in its cradle, sipping a Mai Tai…
-Non-Alcoholic-
Iced lemonade in a highball glass through a red plastic straw…
-Eco-Conscientious-
Paper straw, the citrusy elixir providing respite from the steamy…
-Less Hot-
Warm breezy summer…
-Spring-
Spring air, children…
-Nature-
Birds…
-Silence-
You close your eyes, hammock gently rocking you to slumber.
We here at My Universe wish to thank you again for choosing our services. We know that there are many post-cataclysmic alternative realities available, and we appreciate your business. Please enjoy your respite from the societal collapse, and remember us next time you need to unwind.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. And if you really feel like getting away and helping clean up the beach a bit, check out this relaxing video from Dylan Clark titled Seagrass. Or maybe that wasn’t so relaxing after all… 😉
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Silent Night, Bloody Night is A Bloody Waste of A Christmas Horror Movie
