Review: Freaky
What happens when a shy teenage girl gets stabbed with an ancient ceremonial dagger by a middle-aged serial killer? Hijinks, of course!
Also intimidating a teenage boy into pissing himself. Also, ALSO making out with a different teenage boy. Also, ALSO, ALSO, your mom hitting on you.
Well, that’s a lot to unpack, so let’s get FREAKY!!!
The Plot:
Teenage Millie (Kathryn Newton) is a shy wallflower yet to blossom. When not writing poetry to hot-but-kind jocks or getting in trouble in shop class for not being assertive enough, she spends her time missing her deceased father and hanging out with her two BFFs (Celeste O’Connor and Misha Osherovich).
Ever unlucky, her drunken mother forgets to pick her up one night after the school game. Even worse, she becomes hunted by The Blissfield Butcher, a mysterious serial killer who looks a lot like a strung-out Vince Vaughn (Vince Vaughn).
In a flash, as the Butcher stabs her with an ancient dagger he swiped from another victim’s home, something magical happens. Ancient Aztec magic! She has switched bodies with her would-be killer! What a bummer.
Now she must convince her BFFs her true identity and switch back before it’s too late or she’ll be stuck forever looking like the guy who played a shitty Norman Bates. The stakes have never been higher…
Thoughts:
I was very excited to watch this. Like “paying $20 for a one-time rental” kind of excited. I adore Happy Death Day (also directed by Christopher Landon) and the premise itself is so deliciously fun that I couldn’t help but get excited to see this.
The visuals of Freaky are bright and poppy, and the cinematography was clear and easy to follow (some of these films get too shaky). The score was terrific (Bear McCreary). There was a lot of energy from the cast, and even Vince Vaughn seemed like he was having a good time (however, no one does “teenage girl” like Jack Black in Jumanji). The kills, while fewer than I expected, were enjoyable and bloody.
But that writing…and that ending…Yeah.
In Happy Death Day, what I enjoyed so much about the film is that it took something superficial and imbued it with meaning. Tree (main character) was a trope-y stereotypical sorority bitch. She was the typical girl to be slaughtered first in any slasher.
But as the story progressed, we began to see her true self, as she did as well. She grew. She changed. They spun the trope around and suddenly she was someone with depth and sincerity, and someone the audience then cared about. She wasn’t a superficial bitch, but a substantial heroine, and we got to slowly see that as the story was built.
Unfortunately, Freaky is the opposite. It took something substantial (body and gender issues) and made it superficial. Maybe this happened because it was a “fun” movie. Or maybe the star power lessened it. Or maybe it got lost in re-writes or by direction. Whatever the case, the impact was lacking. The end felt rushed and sloppy. The character of Millie…changed, I guess? But for a movie centered on a female narrative and what it means to have control and advocacy to one’s own body (literally), the message was muddled and fell flat.
Brain Roll Juice:
Okay, let’s unpack this quickly because I have a lot to say and so little time and energy to say it: the BFFs. Oof.
They came in two flavours – flamboyant but harmless (as in nothing the character said or did was substantial or challenging to the trope/norms) gay character, and supportive but basic (as in nothing the character said or did was challenging to the trope/norms) Black female.
The gay character (Joshua, played by fellow non-binary actor and activist Misha Osherovich) has the most cringey and shoe-horned closeted-jock-wants-the-openly-gay-kid subplot that very literally lasts one minute. The supporting Black character (Nyla, played by the underutilized Celeste O’Connor) gets to do a little more action-wise, but has the identity of “cheering up shy, but gorgeous white friend into believing in herself”.
And since these two characters are played up in the trailer, I’m going to call it out – sloppy writing. These are the standard BFFs we’ve seen in early 2000’s WB as the “diverse characters” card. It worked then, but it shouldn’t work now that it’s 20 years later and there’s little growth or movement.
I honestly was angry at the “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” LGBTQ jock subplot (if it can even be called a subplot) since it was a slap in the face as a outdated, gross, and lazy trope. C’mon, man! Everything is played so saccharine safe. No character steps out of their respected trope and I can only imagine that’s for the benefit of the mainstream audience they were hoping to bag.
And, sure, maybe I’m taking this a bit too much to heart. After all, it’s a silly billy horror-COMEDY about switching bodies. But, as it made almost three times the budget in the middle of a pandemic, it’s fair to say that it has an effect. What we create and consume is a reflection of our society, culture, expressions, and collective desires. If our current mainstream flow is at early 2000’s WB levels, maybe there’s still an issue of how to create meaningful and diverse characters.
I’m not saying you have to go hard with the message like the heavy-handed 2019’s Black Christmas, but there’s room for relatable and engaging characters in horror, even horror-COMEDY. As an example, even though it was more bitter satire and higher emotional stakes, Bex (Hari Nef) in Assassination Nation definitely was a clear and concise character while also being the LGBTQ BFF. You can have it both ways, it just takes some creative writing and understanding.
Bottomline:
It’s a fun and cute movie. You’re mom will probably like it. She’ll probably buy the soundtrack so she can listen to the remix of No Doubt’s “Just a Girl”. And that’s okay…
(3.5 / 5)
Episode three of Amazon Prime’s Fallout continued the themes we’ve seen so far, with an added twist. With comedy and gore already blending, the story has added an air of tragic history for one of its least cuddly characters.
Let’s discuss.
The story
Our story starts with a flashback to before the bombs dropped. We see Coop, filming a movie. His wife is on set as well, and their adorable daughter. Coop has a comfortable life with a family he loves.
Isn’t that just a knife in the heart?
Back in the present, Lucy is traveling through the wastelands with the head of Wilzig. And she’s doing so with the same fear and joy that we’ve seen from her so far. Until that is, she runs into a Gulper. And after eating a defenseless deer, it swallowed up the head.
Eventually, The Ghoul catches up with Lucy and decides to capture her. After using her as bait, he decides to drag her along with him.
Meanwhile, Maximus gets a message from the Brotherhood of Steel. Rather than coming clean, he claims to be Knight Titus and is accidentally sent a new Squire. That squire is Thaddeus, one of Maximus’s bullies from the base. And Maximus wastes no time in taking some sweet, sweet revenge.
Finally, we return to Vault 33. The vault is healing from the Raider attack and the loss of Lucy. Norm and Chet are being punished for letting Lucy leave, by being fired from their jobs. This throws Chet because he had a cool job.
Norm, on the other hand, didn’t like his job. He didn’t like any job. So, since this is the only way anyone gets punishments in the vault, he’s given the task of feeding the Raiders.
And talking to the Raiders was maybe not a healthy thing for Norm to be doing. He might learn something he didn’t want to know.
What worked
The first thing I have to talk about is the massive creature called The Gulper.
This thing was fascinating. It was voracious, fast, and horrifying to look like. It was like a giant axolotl from Hell, with human fingers lining its whole mouth and throat. Why did it need fingers lining its mouth and throat? The better to drag someone down its throat and into its stomach. And the better to drag itself into my nightmares. This creature was well done.
On the flip side of this, I love the fact that the people of Vault 33 are so kind. They’re so willing to forgive, willing to care for their fellow man even when their fellow man is trying to kill them.
I don’t trust it, to be clear. But the perceived kindness from these people is uplifting. And I’m sure it will make whatever is going to eventually happen to them all the worse.
Of course, I can’t talk about the goodness of the vault dwellers without talking about the absolute horribleness of The Ghoul. The Ghoul is not a good person. He is cruel, and selfish, and clearly dislikes Lucy for some reason we do not yet know, and is probably not her fault.
But we kind of understand how he got that way, don’t we? During the flashbacks, we see that he’s lost his wife and daughter. We also see that he was used as a mascot for the very company that created the vaults. And, while we don’t have any concrete proof yet, we can probably guess that these are not the good guys. Even if we haven’t played the games, anyone who’s even slightly genre-savvy can already guess that.
Which is the last thing I want to bring up here.
We know something stinks with the vaults. Something beyond the obvious issues of wealth disparities and the people left outside to die while those who could afford a Vault spot were saved. Something is rotten with the vaults, we all know this. What we don’t know is what form this rot will take.
Not yet.
What didn’t work
Now, I wish I could say this was a perfect episode. But sadly, it wasn’t. And my biggest issue with the episode is with the character Maximus.
Now, I love Maximus. He wants to do good things in the world. He’s the underdog, and who doesn’t love that? He’s honorable and believes in the organization he belongs to.
I don’t love that he cannot do anything right. It feels like he wins fights by falling over and tripping into succeeding. And this character deserves so much more than that. Can we please, just once, see him be good at something or make a sound decision?
All that being said, this was still a fun episode. It was funny and bright, with an ominous feel and a horrific finger-ridden monster. I had a great time with it.
(4 / 5)
Last night’s episode of American Horror Story Delicate was wild. From its star-studded start to its powerfully quiet finish, I was enthralled through every moment.
Let’s discuss.
The story
We begin this episode at the funeral of Dex’s mom. While he’s giving a eulogy, which was very nice, Ms. Preecher walks in. She shouts to the room that Virginia didn’t commit suicide, she was murdered. She also tells Dex to listen to his wife.
What a concept!
Touched by this, or maybe just curious, Anna goes to the hospital to check on Preecher. She falls asleep at the hospital. When she wakes up, Preecher is gone. A nurse says that she was discharged to a group of women.
While at the hospital, Anna also discovers that she’s been nominated for best actress.
At a publicity event for the awards, Anna runs into Cora. And she sees the coat she remembers from her late-night visit near the start of her pregnancy.
With the slightest amount of pressure, Cora spills it all. She and Dex have been having an affair, and Cora was trying to sabotage Anna’s pregnancy. So Anna, channeling her inner Madison Montgomery, kicks him out and heads to the awards ceremony with Siobhan.
There, Siobhan asks her if she wants an Oscar more than anything. If she’d be willing to give up anything for it.
And Anna says yes.
The bargain is then sealed with a kiss.
What worked
I’d like to begin, paradoxically, at the end of the episode. We’ve seen Anna have some terrible, loud, frightening hallucinations in this season. At least, we assume they’re hallucinations. But this one wasn’t loud. It was, in fact, very quiet. Anna is led off stage, without a word, leaving nothing but a puddle of blood behind.
In horror, like in all art, the notes you don’t play are as important as the ones you do. And the notes that weren’t played her rang like a bell.
I also appreciated that this episode describes why being a celebrity would be a huge pain in the ass. Imagine going to an event where the whole purpose is for people to take pictures of you while holding their product. Imagine if they invaded your personal space, sprayed things on you, put things over your eyes, and you were expected to smile and pose.
I don’t know what it is about being a celebrity that makes others feel entitled to a person. To talk with them, take their time, and share in their moments. To touch them without consent. Yes, there are way worse things happening to people. But this isn’t a great way to live. It’s no wonder so many of them go nuts. This is most clearly shown in the scene when Anna is sitting next to Preecher’s bed. She wakes up to find the older woman gone. But all anyone wants to talk about is how she was just nominated for an Oscar. At that moment, she doesn’t give a damn. She cares about this kind woman, and where she’s gone. Just like any other person.
Finally, I appreciated that this season didn’t do what so many AHS seasons do. Which is to say that this episode didn’t feel like the last episode. It felt like the penultimate episode. It felt like there was still more story to tell, not just loose ends to be wrapped up. I appreciate that the writers have finally learned that lesson.
For this season, at least.
What didn’t work
The first thing that bothered me in this episode was Cora’s confession. I said something about this during our live-watch event on Threads. (Join us next week for the finale. Bring popcorn and wine.)
I don’t believe Cora’s confession. I further don’t believe that she just dumped all of this incriminating info on Anna with no more prompting than a wide-eyed look. There was just no reason for it. So, Anna saw her coat? Lots of people have similar coats. This feels fake, and she brought no receipts.
I also found Siobhan’s behavior confusing. At times she seems genuinely concerned for Anna’s wellbeing. At other times, she is more than willing to let her suffer and risk her pregnancy.
While this has been going on all season, it was happening every few minutes in this one. Either Siobhan cares about the welfare of that fetus, or she doesn’t. But she needs to pick a lane.
All in all, I don’t know what to expect from next week’s season finale. Anna has her Oscar, but now she might lose her baby. She might also get sucked into some horrible cult and experience a bad death. We won’t know until next week.
See you then.
(4 / 5)
Episode two of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was equal parts funny and bloody. This almost always leads to a good time.
The story
We begin this episode with the birth of some puppies that look like they’ve had a rough start to life. Each one is weighed, with the ones who fall short being incinerated.
One pup who is just below the correct weight gets a bit of a thumb on their scale. The scientist weighing them, Wilzig, writes down the proper weight. He later takes the puppy home to raise instead of putting them into what looks like an unforgiving training program.
Eventually, we see Wilzig put some blue glowing thing into his neck. When a soldier comes for him, Dog attacks the soldier, and the two escape.
We go from there to the wilderness, where Lucy is recovering from the last episode and enjoying a campfire at night. Wilzig and Dog come out of the shadows, saving Lucy from a bug monster. Wilzig tells Lucy she should go home. And if she’s not going to go home, she needs to evolve.
The next day Lucy finds her way to a town called Filly. As a Pennsylvanian, it hurts me to spell it that way. Lucy is entranced by this town, though clearly put off by the fact that no one is very nice here.
She eventually finds her way to a shop run by a delightful woman named Ma June. Ma doesn’t seem particularly interested in helping Lucy. Or, frankly, having Lucy in her shop.
Or in her town.
Eventually, Wilzig is tracked to this same shop, being tracked by The Ghoul. This is our final primary character. Lucy defends Wilzig, being aided at the last moment by Maximus.
Maximus, by the way, has been having a terrible time. After finally becoming a squire he’s disappointed to find that his knight, Knight Titus, is a terrible person.
Fortunately, Maximus doesn’t have to put up with Titus for long. After Titus gets the bright idea to go hunting, he’s attacked by a mutated bear. Maximus freezes, unable to save him. Then, well, he decides not to save him.
It was Titus’s idea to go hunt the bear, after all.
What worked
The first thing I want to draw attention to is the shootout scene at Filly. This scene checked every box a fight scene should check. It was fun to watch, with great effects. But it also gave us insight into the characters. Lucy is a decent fighter and has a strong moral compass. The Ghoul is callus and desensitized to death. And Maximus continues to be, well, sort of bad at this whole fighting thing. But with enough moral fortitude that we have a hard time blaming him.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the dog. Who’s name, as far as I’ve been able to ascertain, is just Dog. Which is fine. He doesn’t need to have a name to be a very good boy. He’s sweet, loyal, and fearless.
Also, puppies. Puppies are always great.
Finally, I’d like to shine a spotlight on Lucy’s reaction to the world at large. She is both amazed and terrified by everything. And while she certainly doesn’t want to be rude, she also doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. The best example of this is when she stops to ask for directions with a bright smile and a gun.
Once again, I don’t have anything bad to say about this episode. It was funny, dark, and fun to watch. I’m very much looking forward to the rest of the season.
(4 / 5)
