Trolling through Netflix, trying to find something to sleep to, I came across the trending movie Our House. See article title for deepest thoughts.

Story

Mom and Dad die because of course they do. A genius older brother creating a thing, accidentally makes a ghost machine thing. (I say it like this because there is a much better horror movie called Ghost from the Machine. . . which is kinda this movies plot. . .huh)

Git Gud

I like the family dynamic. No one is the perfect little homemaker or manages to immediately rise to the occasion. Everyone toes the learning curve and airs holds onto some baggage as they play house. The actors can act.

family issues

Let’s Get Smarticles

This movie goes all across the board, but manages not to provide proper endings to the storylines presented. New subplot pop up throughout the movie too. Let’s countdown.

  • Family matters (i.e. parents die, must assume parental role to his younger siblings)
  • School matters
  • Girlfriend issues
  • Ghost issues
  • Murderous ghost issues
  • Neighbor issues

I have issues will all of them. Remember when you’re doing a story, a simple line opens a floodgate. If it’s introduced, address it.

Family Matters

Let’s skip family matters because Urkel’s story followed through and remembered it’s satisfying conclusion. He completely domesticated himself and moved into a new house, all while working an hourly wage job, taking care of two kids, and expending God knows how much money on the electricity bill. The working class can relate.

School Matters

Old school issues
The prototype.

School matters present themselves and then promptly fuck off. He did an experiment at school. It caused a major blackout. He and his friend hid, which begs the question, “why?” Were they not allowed to use the lab? Why did they need the lab? Apparently it’s for “safety”. The rest of the movie, he’s tinkering with his machine at home, so it must not be that dangerous.

Wireless electricity. Sounds cool, but how practical is it? Walk into your house and have your phone charge auto! Um, constantly charging like that kills the battery. How do you save electricity? What about turning it on and off? Won’t you need like a main breaker for it? In that case, you’d need to mark all the switches.

He made it stronger and easier to use! Now flip those switches instead of using those buttons.

Or, and just hear me out folks, if you put switches on the wall that works like regular electricity. . . just use regular electricity. . . He doesn’t really go too far into his apparent life passion. Also did he drop out of school to take care of his family full time? A sabbatical? Doesn’t really go there.

Girlfriend Issues

She’s there, then she’s not until she is. She wears many hats. The scientist, skeptic, believer, almost hero, damsel in distress.

Ghost Issues

His girlfriend thinks he’s grieving by believing in ghost. He also first thought his siblings were grieving for believing in them. At this point you can see a minute away where the plot is going.

Murderous Ghosts

Why is this in a category of it’s own? Cause a previous murdered tenant whose body is never discovered is brought up. It remains undiscovered. Probably?

haunting issue
Low key mad this doll is better than Annabelle.

Neighbor Issues

He’s nice before becoming a douche. He brings up a concern to the main character and turns around and does what he’s just made the main character worry about. He also helped confuse me about the ghosts. Eh. Tweet me if you’re actually curious cause otherwise it’s a spoiler. Maybe?

The Ending

The ending.

General Issues

general issues
The quiet instrumental over the emotional breakdown. My first thought: Wasn’t this from an Aster movie?

This movie tried to hit every box. It is so uninspired, I felt like I was watching a quiet trainwreck. Scenes straight up reminded me of better movies. Focus was all over the place. Just hand me a cohesive narrative and I’m happy. It failed to be good and missed so bad it’s good.

2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)

Middling for a “top trending” (If that actually means anything) Netflix pick is saaaaad. T_T Even sadder . . . IFC Midnight Studios.

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Hi. I'm judgemental and have a horrible sense of humor. Read my stuff and validate me pls.

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