Charles Band has been in the business of making movies since the late 1970s. Whether he is holding the title of writer, director, or producer, Band’s name has had a connection to countless films over the decades. He and his companies, Full Moon Features and Empire Pictures are responsible for many beloved cult classics. Fan favorites like Puppet Master (1989), Tourist Trap (1979), Subspecies (1991), and Re-Animator (1985) – just to pick out a few examples from the very substantial list.
The man is an absolute powerhouse. I could literally write an entire feature article on his contributions to the horror genre and home video market alone. But that isn’t what I’m here to talk about today. No, I’m here to discuss only one of his films in particular. Although Band has churned out many popular pieces of cinema over his lengthy career, he has also had his fair share of total stinkers. Movies that are so overwhelmingly bad that they can’t even be enjoyed for their value as a novelty. But to be fair, you can’t expect to fire off hundreds of rounds without completely missing the mark on more than a few odd occasions.
So, that being said, let’s dive into our next entry in Reviews in Retrospect: Gingerdead Man (2006).
A Recipe for Disaster
At first glance, Gingerdead Man sounds like it may have some potential as a fun B-movie. Charles Band directed the film and the legendary Garey Busy plays the role of the main antagonist, Millard Findlemeyer. The cast of the movie also includes the acting talent of Robin Sydney, Ryan Locke, Alexia Aleman, and Jonathan Chase. It was released directly to DVD on August 30, 2006, and was distributed primarily by Full Moon Entertainment and Talos Entertainment.
The plot of the film is extremely bizarre, to put it mildly. Betty Leigh and her daughter Sarah own a struggling bakery in Waco, Texas. After a massacre in a local diner claims the lives of Jeremy and James Leigh – the father and brother of the family – the two women wrestle to keep the business afloat, while simultaneously also trying to cope with the grief of losing their loved ones. Little do the two women know that money and loss will soon be the least of their troubles. The man who murdered the two male Leighs, Millard Findlemeyer, has just been executed by the state and is out for revenge: from beyond the grave.
Some Freshly Baked Buffoonery
Although it is somewhat to be expected from a movie that is literally about an evil, sentient gingerbread man, this film is not a good watch. In fact, I’ll go one step further and declare that Gingerdead Man is actually a profoundly bad film. It doesn’t work as a horror, nor does it work as a comedy. Aside from the premise itself, the film is completely devoid of humor. The ‘jokes’ aren’t even really jokes, as they mostly rely on the title character saying a few rude words, from time to time.
The dialogue of the film is terrible and the story is full of blatant plot holes. Plot holes which, when amassed in their totality, actually compromise the entire structural integrity of the movie as a whole. The characters are unlikeable and the antagonist has absolutely no charisma to speak of. And that isn’t all. One of the strangest, almost surreal, aspects of Gingerdead Man is the apparent disconnection between the characters and the severity of the events that are occurring around them. Judging by their reactions, it is often hard to tell that there is something out of the ordinary happening at all. It’s like a killer gingerbread man is just a run-of-the-mill issue that the bakery faces – like dealing with ants or mice. The list of issues goes on and on. The entire film is, for lack of better description, a hot mess.
Due to all of the glaring problems with the film, I give Gingerdead Man (2006) a pitiful rating of one out of five Cthulhus. It is a dreadful movie that manages to fail on every possible front. If I had a cannon large enough, I would not even hesitate a moment to fire it directly into the sun. Good riddance.(1 / 5)
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