Watching Practical Magic, As A Modern Witch
Practical Magic is a warm, cozy, feel-good movie for most people of, um, a certain age. This has always amused me since the main story is about a woman accidentally murdering her abusive boyfriend and then having to kill him again when he comes back as a horrifying, soulless monster.
Just a cozy movie for a girl’s night.
Practical Magic is, however, a strangely accurate movie regarding modern witchcraft. And with a sequel in the works (no, there isn’t a release date yet) now seemed like a good time to talk about what they got right from the point of view of a modern witch.
Just the facts
Based on the classic novel of the same title by Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic premiered in 1998. It’s the story of the Owens family. Maria Owens, our main characters’ ancestor, cursed her family line to never fall in love after being left alone by the father of her child. Ever since then, generation after generation has been haunted by this curse.
Sally and Gillian Owens see this curse in their own lives when their father is killed. Sent to live with their aunts, each girl reacts in a wildly different way. Sally tries to cast a spell for the perfect man, believing that she will never find him and therefore never fall in love. Gillian decides to have wild relationships with terrible men. This leads her to an abusive relationship with a sexy asshole named Jimmy. This leads to Sally accidentally poisoning Jimmy with belladonna.
Sally and Gillian try to bring Jimmy back to life so they don’t get arrested for murder. While they’re doing that, a detective comes to town looking for Jimmy. And he happens to look just like the man Sally wished for as a child.
What Practical Magic got right
A lot of the magic in Practical Magic is very familiar to most modern practitioners. Not all of it, of course. Real magic work doesn’t make for good movies, and there are some fantastical aspects to the Owens sisters’ world. None of us can blow on candles to light them, though that would certainly save me money on matches. We can’t send letters to each other on the wind or stir our coffee with thought alone. And any witch dumb enough to jump off their roof with an umbrella is going to end up in the hospital where they belong.
But there was a lot of good magic in here. Starting, of course, with the famous quote from the film.
But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.
Yes, yes to all of that. Rosemary, salt and lavender are all staples for a kitchen witch. These are things that most witches agree heal the body and soul.
Sally is the picture of an herbal witch. She is clearly most at home in the greenhouse. And she makes herbal remedies that the town clearly values.
This rings true for most witches. We usually have some tea or simmer pot or herbal tincture for most everyday ailments. Even the way Sally kills Jimmy is accurate. On that note, don’t take belladonna. Just don’t do it. Because that’s another thing this movie sure as shit got right, and it will kill you if you don’t actually know what you’re doing with it.
Another thing Practical Magic got right is generational curses. Not in the big, scary way that leads to an innocent man getting hit by a car and leaving his wife and children alone way. But in the, we tend to make the same mistakes as our parents because that’s how we were taught to deal with life sort of way. That’s why a lot of witches practice shadowwork. It’s just spicy therapy, making a consistent effort to recognize unhealthy patterns and try to break those cycles.
Of course, the generational cycles of pain are healed in the movie by the women of the town coming together to stand with the Owens sisters. More broadly, the curse is broken when Sally and Gillian trust the town’s women and let them in. When they build a community instead of building a wall. When they find their sisterhood.
Covens and community are important for everyone. And it’s wonderful when you find people who are just as weird as you are. And, as I mentioned in my review of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, magic is stronger when worked among many people.
Finally, I want to talk about the spell that Sally casts as a child. She says she wants to wish for a man who is perfect in every way, too perfect to exist. And the universe brings that impossibly perfect man to her.
This is a huge part of casting spells. Be specific, and ask for exactly what you want. It’s not one hundred percent, not every spell we cast is going to come true. But most witches agree that you don’t get what you don’t ask for. So, if there’s something you want, ask for it specifically. Maybe you’ll get it.
What they got wrong
My only real issue with Practical Magic is that it isn’t what I’d call inclusive. There aren’t any male witches. There are no witches of color. I’m not entirely sure there’s a person of color in the whole movie.
So, that isn’t great. This isn’t that old of a movie.
Not only is this just bad form, bad storytelling and bad casting, but it also reinforces a nasty stereotype that modern witches only look one kind of way. That way being a white cisgender woman. And that’s just not true. Witchcraft is a big community where everyone is welcome. I would love to see that represented in one of the most iconic witch movies of all time. Hopefully, this is something they fix with the sequel.
In conclusion, it’s not hard to see why generations of fans still hold this movie so close to their hearts. And while it could certainly use more inclusion, I don’t see the magic of Practical Magic fading anytime soon.
(4.5 / 5)
By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.
Episode two of Wheel of Time felt like the beginning of a long journey. Stories are unfolding, lives are changing, and blood is spilling.
Let’s discuss.
The story
We begin this episode in the past with Elayne’s mother, Queen Morgase. It turns out her rise to the throne was a bit, shall we say, cutthroat. So when she shows up at the White Tower, Siuan is concerned.
She might have reason to be, too.
Meanwhile, Rand, Egwene, Moiraine, Lan and Aviendha are in the Spine of The World. As they travel through some of the most breathtaking lands I have ever seen on a TV show, Egwene is plagued with nightmares. We think at first that’s just her trauma working itself through her system. But we soon find out that it might not be that straightforward.
Finally, Perrin returns home to heal after his hand is almost cut in half. But when he gets there he finds the town has been infested by Children of The Light. And they’re looking for him.
What worked
There was something heartwarming in this episode about political espionage and choking religious persecution. And that is Elayne’s relationship with her family.
I have consumed a lot of fantasy content with royal families. And I have never once heard a princess call her mother ‘Mum’. I’ve never seen royal siblings get along. And I have sure as hell never seen a princess have a good relationship with her step-parent.
This was refreshing. Even though Queen Morgase is kind of a horrible person she seems like a good mother. And that’s an unexpected delight.
Of course, this is just one storyline among many. And while this can sometimes be overwhelming, in this case it wasn’t.
I’ll be honest, some of these storylines are going to drag for me. I know this because I’ve read some of the Wheel of Time books and I have an idea that not all the characters exactly pique my interest.
No one likes all the characters. No one likes all the storylines. While I am here for the political espionage between Queen Morgase and Siuan, not everyone likes it. While others might be fascinated with Selene trying to win Rand back, I couldn’t care less.
Having multiple storylines keeps everyone’s attention better. So long as things don’t get out of hand. Things can easily get out of hand. But this seems to be managed well.
So far.
What didn’t work
As I mentioned above, I’m not thrilled with Rand’s story at this point. And while it’s fine to not like a storyline when there are this many to choose from, it’s not fantastic that the one I like the least is the one involving our two main characters. And anytime we were with the team at the Spine of The World, the only thing that brought me joy was Moirain’s hat. It reminded me of Stockard Channing’s hat in Practical Magic.
The problem is that Rand is Charlie Brown with controversial magical powers. He is boring, serious, and pessimistic.
And yes, I understand that he has a heavy emotional burden and he’s the Dragon Reborn and that’s quite taxing and all. But let’s be fair, there isn’t a single person in this show that doesn’t have a heavy burden. And most of them manage to be fun occasionally.
All that being said, this episode of Wheel of Time did exactly what it needed to do. It set up conflicts at each of the three locations. It established emotional ties between the characters and the events. And it established goals for everyone.
This was, in short, a solid episode. Not groundbreaking, not mind-blowing or life changing. It was simply good. It was entertaining and moved the plot forward.
Well done.
(3.5 / 5)
Wheel of Time is back for season three. There are mixed feelings regarding this. Last season, there were some serious pacing issues. And some serious sticking to the book’s storyline issues. But we’re two seasons in, and we don’t give up so easily. So let’s dive into episode one, To Race the Shadow.
By the way, I highly recommend watching this episode with the subtitles on. You’ll see why.
The story
We begin this episode with Liandrin facing a trial of sorts for her rampant betrayal. She does her best to gaslight her Aes Sedai sisters into thinking that Siuan Sanche is the real traitor.
When that doesn’t work, she reveals how many Black Aes Sedai have actually infiltrated the tower.
Spoiler, it’s a lot.
In the aftermath, our whole team gathers to drink and enjoy one night of relaxation before they head out to the Tear to form an army for Rand. All is going well until they’re attacked by myriad creatures and a sentient axe.
What worked
This episode was long. It had a run time of an hour and eleven minutes. And a lot of that run time was spent in heavy dialog scenes.
Fortunately, these were well-done scenes.
If you’re going to have a lot of talking scenes, there are good ways and bad ways to do it. Last season, we saw lots of examples of the bad way to do it. But this episode did it well. For one thing, other things were going on while conversations were taking place. The characters are drinking, playing games, walking through an interesting city. And the scenes themselves didn’t stretch out. They weren’t repetitive. We heard what the character had to say, then we moved on.
It was also nice that the point of these scenes wasn’t just info dumps. We had character development. We had romantic interactions. We had plot development and foreshadowing.
Overall, this episode felt like what it was. A moment of calm before a storm.
Taking a step back, I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the fight scene at the start of the episode. Because it was epic.
The magic looked amazing. The martial arts that went along with it looked fantastic. The costumes were beautiful. It was just incredibly fun to watch.
More than that, it was emotional. We lost some characters in that fight that were important. And it was clearly emotionally shattering for many of our characters, who found themselves betrayed by people they trusted.
So many of them.
It was a great way to open the season.
What didn’t work
Despite that, this episode wasn’t without its flaws.
First off, there were a lot of dialog scenes. And they were good scenes, as I’ve already discussed. But it was one after another after another. And when your episode is, again, an hour and eleven minutes, it’s maybe a little much to have so much chit-chat. Couldn’t some of these conversations, important as they were, have been moved to maybe another episode?
Finally, I want to talk about Egwene’s travel through the arches.
I feel like maybe there were some deleted scenes here. Because there must have been more to that visit than what we saw, right?
We could have seen Egwene battle Rand. That would have been badass and emotionally devastating. We could have seen her with a quiet life with Rand back home at the Two Rivers. We could have seen anything except for the quick clip of Rand in a bloody river, followed by Egwene being shoved back out in a bloody shift.
Bad job. But at least it wasn’t an extended scene of Moiraine collecting bathwater, and then taking a bath while looking sad. If we’d started this season with another scene like that, it might have broken my brain.
Amazon dropped the first three episodes at once. So we’ll be back soon to talk about episode two. See you then.
(4 / 5)
Early 2000s is a special era for the industry. It accepts the cheesiness and corniness of movie making, in turn producing some gems in their own right. Eight Legged Freaks starring David Arquette and young Scarlet Johanson is a horror comedy about giant spiders who overtake a small town. As crazy as that premise sounds, the movie surprisingly has a ton of heart and is super entertaining. Let’s review, shall we?
Plot
We start Eight Legged Freaks with a shot of toxic waste spilling into the water supply of Joshua, a spider farm owner. He is friends with Mike, one of our protagonists, who is a science geek and a spider enthusiast. Mike notices something quite right upon visiting Joshua, but no one takes him seriously. We are then introduced to the rest of the crew. Mike’s mother Samantha, the town sheriff, is too busy chasing Ashley, his sister, who is dating the town mayor’s son Bret (something Samantha does not approve of). We also have Chris, who returns to the town to save his father’s legacy in the town mines. He has opposition from Wade, Bret’s father, who wants to use the mines for his business ventures. Lots of drama going on that will only get juicier once the spiders get loose.
The creepy crawlies quickly dispose of Joshua and make their grand appearance after Ashley rejects Bret’s advances, abandoning him in the middle of a desert. A glorious chase sequence ensues as the spiders make their way towards the town, wreaking havoc on its residents. In a true horror fashion (which the movie acknowledges), it takes some convincing from Mike and then from Samantha for the town to take the threat seriously. The tongue-in-cheek style of narrative adds the comedy aspect to a movie that would otherwise burn out fairly quickly.
The remaining characters hide out in a shopping mall as it’s the only somewhat sturdy building in the area. This doesn’t last long as the spiders break in, forcing them to run through the mines. Their resources to fight the creepy crawlies off are limited as the methane gas doesn’t allow them to use firearms. Such conditions require resourceful thinking from Chris, who uses perfume to fend off the leader of the spider group and save himself during the climax of the movie.
Character dynamics are not forgotten once the action kicks in. We have Chris confessing his long-term feelings for Samantha which she knew all along, which provided some comedic relief. Bret also reunites with Ashley and apologises for being an asshole. Mike finally gets the appreciation he deserves as his knowledge saves the townsfolk more than once during the whole ordeal.
We end the movie with the town’s radio show person telling the story as an urban legend during his segment. This brings it into question – how much of it happened the way he said it did? We can only guess…
Overall thoughts
Eight Legged Freaks is a fun creature feature with some self-aware commentary on genre tropes that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The acting is good, the pacing fitting and the characters are likeable enough for you to want them to make it through. Definitely a must watch, if you don’t suffer from arachnophobia, that is.
(5 / 5)