HauntedMTL Original – Applesauce for Life – Kristen Seikaly
Applesauce for Life by Kristen Seikaly
Susie began to pull her teeth out as
soon as they grew in. One by one, her pearly whites would emerge from her gums
and one by one, she would yank them out. No one ever saw her do it, but if they
had, they would have grimaced reflexively. Susie pulled out her teeth in the
most gruesome ways imaginable.
The first time, she simply
yanked it out with her pudgy little fingers. It hadn’t required strength so
much as brute force. After the second one, this method grew dull, so Susie
found a pair of her father’s pliers and tugged and tugged until the third came
out. When she released it from the pliers, it turned to dust in her hands,
crushed by the force. She smiled her toothless smile as the dust scattered in
the wind.
Her favorite method of removal
became the tug on the door. She heard a mother suggest it to her young son, a
son older than Susie whose teeth were ready to come out. The boy wailed at the
prospect. Surely his mother must be joking? Susie did not think the mother was
joking. She thought the mother was a genius. So when tooth number nine came in,
Susie waited as long as she could for that little sucker to grow. Then, she
tied one end of a string to the pebble of a tooth and skipped to the door
handle to tie on the other end. Stepping away from the door, she slammed it as
hard as she could with a broom to make sure the distance was just right. She
could not stop smiling at all the blood and gore.
Susie’s parents, after a bit
of time, grew concerned about the absence of their daughter’s teeth. Surely she
should have grown some by now? They took her to a pediatric dentist, a
specialist they never knew existed and asked what was wrong while clasping
their sweaty hands to Susie’s dry ones. He took an x-ray and could not fathom
what he saw.
“It looks as if those
teeth did appear because they’re not in her gums anymore,” he said while
scratching his chin. “See the adult teeth in there? And see how some baby
teeth have yet to come up?” Susie’s parents nodded at the news, while
Susie’s eyes widened. She’d get a whole new set of teeth? What a delight!
That night, her mother tried
to comfort her daughter who did not seem distraught enough at the news.
“Your teeth will
come,” she said, not at all convinced. “And when they do, the Tooth
Fairy will come and bring you money!”
Susie had no interest in
money. So, as far as her parents could tell, her teeth never came, and they
brought her back to the pediatric dentist once more.
“That’s odd,” he
said, scanning the fresh set of x-rays. “See how there had been baby teeth
here before? They’re gone now!” He pointed to the old x-ray, then the new,
while the parents sat and puzzled with him. Susie licked her gums, then smiled.
The pediatric dentist glanced over.
“May I have a moment to
speak with Susie alone?”
This made Susie’s parent’s
uncomfortable, yet everything about the situation made them uncomfortable. So,
they left the room. The pediatric dentist sat in his chair and stared down at
Susie while she laid on the patient chair.
“Susie,” he said,
“do you know where your teeth went?”
She smiled her gummy smiled
once more and pulled out a baggie she kept hidden in her pocket at all times.
Inside were seventeen lumpy, bloodied pearls of teeth, one for each she had
pulled (minus the one that had turned to dust). Some were too small to have
fully formed. The pediatric doctor had never seen anything like it in his
thirty years of practice.
“But Susie… why? What
have you done?”
Susie shrugged her shoulders.
“Haven’t you ever wanted
to control your own body?”
The pediatric dentist had
nothing to say to that. He sent Susie home, telling her parents he would think
over her case a little bit more.
That night, the pediatric
dentist stared in the mirror, lips sealed, until finally, he bore his own teeth
to himself. Each one immaculate and cared for, he had never once considered
doing to himself what he had done to others. His teeth were fine, he thought.
Or were they?
He clasped one of his dental
tools in his hand. Meant for a child, it felt small for the first time. Then,
he brought it to one of his teeth and pulled. Blood gushed everywhere as he
examined what had been a perfectly healthy tooth. He smiled.
“Ah!” he cried.
“I understand now, little Susie.”
THE END
Kristen Seikaly is a Michigan native who lives on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Her work has appeared in Thrice Fiction, Story Seed Vault, Lost Balloon, and Flash Fiction Magazine. Her piece “Planetary Disappointment” was longlisted for the Wigleaf Top 50.
Today on Nightmarish Nature we’re gonna revisit The Blob and jiggle our way to terror. Why? ‘Cause we’re just jellies – looking at those gelatinous denizens of the deep, as well as some snot-like land-bound monstrosities, and wishing we could ooze on down for some snoozy booze schmoozing action. Or something.
Honestly, I don’t know what exactly it is that jellyfish and slime molds do but whatever it is they do it well, which is why they’re still around despite being among the more ancient organism templates still in common use.
Jellyfish are on the rise.
Yeah, yeah, some species like moon jellies will hang out in huge blooms near the surface feeding, but that’s not what I meant. Jellyfish populations are up. They’re honing in on the open over-fished ocean and making themselves at home. Again.
And, although this makes the sea turtles happy since jellies are a favorite food staple of theirs, not much else is excited about the development. Except for those fish that like to hide out inside of their bells, assuming they don’t accidentally get eaten hanging out in there. But that’s a risk you gotta take when you’re trying to escape predation by surrounding yourself in a bubble of danger that itself wants to eat you. Be eaten or be eaten. Oh, wait…
So what makes jellies so scary?
Jellyfish pack some mighty venom. Despite obvious differences in mobility, they are related to anemones and corals. But not the Man o’ War which looks similar but is actually a community of microorganisms that function together as a whole, not one creature. Not that it matters when you’re on the wrong end of a nematocyst, really. Because regardless what it’s attached to, that stings.
Box jellies are among the most venomous creatures in the world and can move of their own accord rather than just drifting about like many smaller jellyfish do. And even if they aren’t deadly, the venom from many jellyfish species will cause blisters and lesions that can take a long time to heal. So even if they do resemble free-floating plastic grocery bags, you’d do best to steer clear. Because those are some dangerous curves.
But what does this have to do with slime molds?
Absolutely nothing. I honestly don’t know enough about jellyfish or slime molds to devote the whole of a Nightmarish Nature segment to either, so they had to share. Essentially, this bit is what happened when I decided to toast a bagel before coming up with something to write about and spent a tad too much time in contemplation of my breakfast. I guess we’re lucky I didn’t have any cream cheese or clotted cream…
Oh, and also thinking about gelatinous cubes and oozes in the role-playing game sense – because those sort of seem like a weird hybrid between jellies and slime molds, as does The Blob. Any of those amoeba influenced creatures are horrific by their very nature – they don’t even need to be souped up, just ask anyone who’s had dysentery.
And one of the most interesting thing about slime molds is that they can take the shortest path to food even when confronted with very complex barriers. They are maze masterminds and would give the Minotaur more than a run for his money, especially if he had or was food. They have even proven capable of determining the most efficient paths for water lines or railways in metropolitan regions, which is kind of crazy when you really think about it. Check it out in Scientific American here. So, if we assume that this is essentially the model upon which The Blob was built, then it’s kind of a miracle anything got away. And slime molds are coming under closer scrutiny and study as alternative means of creating computer components are being explored.
Jellies are the Wave of the Future.
We are learning that there may be a myriad of uses for jellyfish from foodstuffs to cosmetic products as we rethink how we interact with them. They are even proving useful in cleaning up plastic pollution. I don’t know how I feel about the foodstuff angle for all that they’ve been a part of various recipes for a long time. From what I’ve seen of the jellyfish cookbook recipes, they just don’t look that appealing. But then again I hate boba with a passion, so I’m probably not the best candidate to consider the possibility.
So it seems that jellies are kind of the wave of the future as we find that they can help solve our problems. That’s pretty impressive for some brainless millions of years old critter condiments. Past – present – perpetuity! Who knows what else we’d have found if evolution hadn’t cleaned out the fridge every so often?
Feel free to check out more Nightmarish Nature here.
Continuing our junkyard dawg werewolf story from the previous St. Patrick’s Days… though technically he’s more of a wolfwere but wolfwhatever. Anyway, here are Part 1 from 2022, Part 2 from 2023 and Part 3 from 2024 if you want to catch up.
Yeah I don’t know how you managed to find me after all this time. We haven’t been the easiest to track down, Monty and I, and we like it that way. Though actually, you’ve managed to find me every St. Patrick’s Day since 2022 despite me being someplace else every single time. It’s a little disconcerting, like I’m starting to wonder if I was microchipped way back in the day in 2021 when I was out lollygagging around and blacked out behind that taco hut…
Anyway as I’d mentioned before, that Scratchers was a winner. And I’d already moved in with Monty come last St. Patrick’s Day. Hell, he’d already begun the process of cashing in the Scratchers, and what a process that was. It made my head spin, like too many squirrels chirping at you from three different trees at once. We did get the money eventually though.
Since I saw you last, we were kicked out of Monty’s crap apartment and had gone to live with his parents while we sorted things out. Thank goodness that was short-lived; his mother is a nosy one for sure, and Monty didn’t want to let on he was sitting on a gold mine as he knew they’d want a cut even though they had it made already. She did make a mean brisket though, and it sure beat living with Sal. Just sayin.
Anyway, we finally got a better beater car and headed west. I was livin’ the dream. We were seeing the country, driving out along old Route 66, for the most part. At least until our car broke down just outside of Roswell near the mountains and we decided to just shack it up there. (Boy, Monty sure can pick ‘em. It’s like he has radar for bad cars. Calling them lemons would be generous. At least it’s not high maintenance women who won’t toss you table scraps or let you up on the sofa.)
We found ourselves the perfect little cabin in the woods. And it turns out we were in the heart of Bigfoot Country, depending on who you ask. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen one. But it seems that Monty was all into all of those supernatural things: aliens, Bigfoot, even werewolves. And finding out his instincts on me were legit only added fuel to that fire. So now he sees himself as some sort of paranormal investigator.
Whatever. I keep telling him this werewolf gig isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and it doesn’t work like in the movies. I wasn’t bitten, and I generally don’t bite unless provoked. He says technically I’m a wolfwere, to which I just reply “Where?” and smile. Whatever. It’s the little things I guess. I just wish everything didn’t come out as a bark most of the time, though Monty’s gotten pretty good at interpreting… As long as he doesn’t get the government involved, and considering his take on the government himself that would seem to be a long stretch. We both prefer the down low.
So here we are, still livin’ the dream. There aren’t all that many rabbits out here but it’s quiet and the locals don’t seem to notice me all that much. And Monty can run around and make like he’s gonna have some kind of sighting of Bigfoot or aliens or the like. As long as the pantry’s stocked it’s no hair off my back. Sure, there are scads of tourists, but they can be fun to mess around with, especially at that time of the month if I happen to catch them out and about.
Speaking of tourists, I even ran into that misspent youth from way back in 2021 at the convenience store; I spotted him at the Quickie Mart along the highway here. I guess he and his girlfriend were apparently on walkabout (or car-about) perhaps making their way to California or something. He even bought me another cookie. Small world. But we all knew that already…
If you enjoyed this werewolf wolfwere wolfwhatever saga, feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
You’ve seen me as Theda Bara, a Witch, and a Necromancer already (as well as Cleopatra, Elvis, and Andy Warhol) but here are some more fun costumes I’ve worn while figure modeling for the Friday morning art group at Hutchinson Art Center. The group is switching to Saturdays but hopefully I’ll still be able to make it in from time to time… Life’s a circus, or maybe a magic act in a shamanic ritual with Holly Hobbie… At any rate – beam me up Scotty, I have your missing spaceship part…
Yeah yeah, so none of that was really all that terrifying. Just another time warp in all honesty. At least there’s still some residual Rocky Horror vibes to be found, but then again, there usually are with me when I get into the identity based costumes.
But in follow up and in the spirit of so much of my other randomness, here’s a music video for Everything Changes by Eytan and The Embassy. Check it out if you want to see some more fun costumes in an immersive homage montage experience unlike any other. (If the video doesn’t load, just follow the link here.) See how many artists you can recognize in this quick change setup. Ready… Set… Go!
