NORTH OLMSTED, OHIO – A local poltergeist expressed frustration today that its efforts to haunt an area residence have gone unrecognized. Poltergeists have a long-standing tradition of causing mischief and mayhem, and…
Category: Lighter than Dark
LTD: Cannibal Exposed On Zoom Meeting
NEW YORK CITY, NY. It was the second week of quarantine. College students, professors, employees, and bosses were adjusting to the new norm of virtual communication. The video conferencing software, Zoom, had…
LTD: Authorities Investigate Sasquatch Attack at Local Cryptid Attraction
SARASOTA, FL — Authorities are investigating an animal attraction located outside of Sarasota today after an unfortunate mauling incident. Carl Jackson, owner of Big Carl’s Cryptids, spoke to the media about the…
LTD: “Imagine” THIS! Celebrities Are Possessed
LOS ANGELES, CA. Shit was already hitting the fan. We all knew that. Most responsible citizens had been indoors for days, gritting their teeth every time their Quarantine roommate(s) ate their precious…
LTD: CDC Urges Americans to Practice Social Distancing During Zombie Pandemic
ATLANTA, GA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a statement today urging citizens to practice social distancing to slow the spread of the zombie pandemic. “All Americans should…
LTD: Local Teen’s iPhone Possessed by “Lame” 1990s Ghost
BAY VILLAGE, Ohio — A group of local tenth-graders expressed regret this weekend after a Ouija board session went awry. Madison Kline, 15, along with her friends Olivia Meyer, 15, Alexis Little,…
LTD: Babysitter Narrowly Escapes Night From Hell
Chicago, IL. It was a typical day for Brenda Jiffy, renowned babysitter and LEGO wrangler. She received an email from Sherry Beelzebub asking her to watch Beelzebub’s six-year-old boy for a date…
LTD: Great Old Ones Address Public’s Concerns at Press Conference
ARKHAM, Mass. — In an unprecedented event of cosmic proportions, the world’s Great Old Ones summoned reporters from Massachusetts and the surrounding region to Miskatonic University for an impromptu press conference. Henry…
LTD: Aliens Slaughter Portland’s Vegan Population And Leave
PORTLAND, OR. Jim from The Office warned us with the film, A Quiet Place, and yet the vegans would not listen. Like all alien encounters, it started with mass hysteria. People were disappearing fast, but…
LTD: Nation’s Horror Villains Prepare for Coronavirus Epidemic
HADDONFIELD, IL – Horror villains from across the nation have arrived in the small town of Haddonfield for a Coronavirus Summit at the request of Michael Myers, chairman of the Society for…