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Day Shift with Jamie Foxx and Snoop Dog head our list of movies. Will Box admit Death Tunnel is really just Ouija House rebooted? Will Jim remember how to get the echo button off? Will Box give Yoga Hosiers a higher score than ‘the worst edited movie ever?’ All this and more on the next Streamin’ Demons!

Transcripts (rough rough said the dog) of our show:

:00.00
jim_phoenix
Hey, everyone Jim Phoenix here and boy do we have another exciting adventure of streaming demons I hope you enjoy the labor day nationals. Whatever day thing sign you know I did days. We’ve got day shift Jamie Fox and then we have deaf tunnel with. Who cares with my my friend painless say and to top it all off. We got foodba. We’ve got yoga hosers with none other than Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp all this and more on the next stream of demons. Edit it.

00:38.88
jim_phoenix
Are.

00:53.82
jim_phoenix
Are.

01:07.56
jim_phoenix
Hey, everyone Jim Phoenix here and by golly we are back. We are alive. We are insane. We’ve got all sorts of madness going on as later Esteinim Moler say madness pro. We’ve got a big o show coming up. So I can’t wait to what can’t wait. Can’t wait to do this. But first I want to introduce my co-hostess my mostest that host the hostes. No other than who all right Jim Breock sorry we’ve got.

01:38.46
booooox
You always forget, you always forget. It’s an you mostly forget.

01:43.24
jim_phoenix
Always forget sometimes I say other people’s names you know you I well how could I forget you box if that is your real name. You are you Christian name is box.

01:53.88
booooox
It’s it is. It’s my Christian name. Yeah.

01:59.66
jim_phoenix
I think I’ve eighten your Christian name before the saying.

02:02.19
booooox
I think I might have to any who’s we have. We have new stuff people. We have great new stuff full of wabwas and baby Odas.

02:08.70
jim_phoenix
Oh ah, baby order.

02:21.43
booooox
And we’re gonna enjoy. We’re gonna enjoy that as well. I mean you might I probably will less than I.

02:27.80
jim_phoenix
Yeah, someone might enjoy something and I don’t make glasses on so I have no idea but I’m pressing ah could be gra with pickies and so if you’re new to Beman Davis good luck because.

02:31.64
booooox
Yeah, no.

02:38.96
booooox
Oh my gosh. Don’t listen to this one.

02:43.66
jim_phoenix
Yeah, this is our first one back in a while since we had like okay I’ll I’ll tell what happened we taped a special like months ago I think and I thought it sucks so bad I don’t want to release it until we.

02:51.84
booooox
Like yeah it was a while I thought it suck.

03:00.90
jim_phoenix
Like that’ either that or skip a week like well all bad that would suck I wasn’t that bad. You know is had movies in it. Yeah’m pretty sure it was it was it was something there. Ah, but.

03:07.58
booooox
It We talked about stuff you know so.

03:17.62
jim_phoenix
The the main point is the main point is is that we know we are back and absolutely nothing go wrong. Okay I mean I’ve been saving my voice for this for the entire for the entire time if Your’re brand new. Yeah.

03:32.36
booooox
Sit sit back, sit back people. It’s gonna be a long time of this.

03:39.84
jim_phoenix
Ah, very long, long long time but a good time. Our premise is simple on this show. We take something old something borrowed something new something blue. You know it’s the whole wedding jazz box will take one I’ll take one and we. Double team another one because that’s what we are word like I think we’re still doing phrasing right? No, but apparently it’s game or throne sponsor i’ get the memo I could have got a multimillion dollar show if I just you know let.

03:58.70
booooox
Consensually Rape is not our sponsor.

04:11.87
booooox
Oh that’s what you’re talking about with the dragon thing see I don’t want either a hannibal nor ah nor that so when you talked about the dragon thing I was like oh I don’t watch Hannibal.

04:14.69
jim_phoenix
Yeah.

04:21.49
jim_phoenix
Um, you thought I meant other day. Oh yeah, yeah or the tran thing I don’t know I know watch either of them. No one watches.

04:32.17
booooox
Ah, whatever I don’t watch either of them. So good luck.

04:38.82
jim_phoenix
Yeah, well you know I I tried a live tweetaks I write for sexy fandom for house of Dragon Sexy fandom dot com room the but mean I know I’m like over I’m plugging other companies I work for ah and.

04:47.30
booooox
Brag brag. Like brag.

04:56.92
jim_phoenix
And I try to do the the live tweeting for our website because I own it I They didn’t write too much. Yeah I try but I try to write different jokes for like the live feed for them and our live tweeting and it’s like.

05:01.47
booooox
You double dip you double dip good.

05:12.69
jim_phoenix
Insane I tried to make sure like our stuff could be a little more riskcay and there has to be safer work and but there yeah there more tasteful than if I owned it I can’t say like hey this reminds me at 1 time Donald Trump

05:17.20
booooox
Which is funny because it’s like they’re sexy so you have to be taste tasteful.

05:30.78
jim_phoenix
Fuck to daughter that won’t go there but it can go for me I’m not sure is there? No no.

05:34.80
booooox
Where’s my kazoo I need the kazoo. Oh it’s there somewhere you got the glass you need your glasses and that’s close enough that’s close enough there it is. There’s my kazoo.

05:47.51
jim_phoenix
Very young. So um violation. Well I’m not saying he you know game with her owns reminds me of like the trumps. But it’s a bunch of fake blonde people want to fuck each other that.

05:51.33
booooox
You’re in violation. Sir.

06:06.94
jim_phoenix
You know tells you thing but we’re not on that we are in something else we are on movies time and boxes. First movie is so painful they share it to me in class and I had no idea gone because I the sound offs I was like reading the the the subtitles like oh what’s wrong with this? Oh okay.

06:11.32
booooox
So.

06:21.87
booooox
You know you need to listen to that.

06:26.52
jim_phoenix
Yeah I listen why I go I’m like oh that’s what that’s what wronghood. Okay, so what is your movie box if that is your real name. Oh hair oh pain Really want to say who cares.

06:34.59
booooox
Ah, it is. We’ve established that it’s my christian.

06:43.15
booooox
It’s kind of echoey too like he’s in a cavern or in a tunnel in a death tunnel Perhaps which is the name of my movie which is death tunnel. Um.

06:46.94
jim_phoenix
Oh a chef tunnel oh is that Russell Simmons new thing death tunnel.

06:57.70
jim_phoenix
Of your movie. Okay, they sort effect that.

07:00.41
booooox
Ah, so boy oh boy this um this movie I have a lot of notes because I just kept not understanding what was going on so it has actually an interesting promise. This is like 1 of those ouija.

07:10.62
jim_phoenix
I Remember of those.

07:17.38
booooox
House situations where it’s like if what.

07:19.70
jim_phoenix
Okay, ah yeah, know you said weez your house I asked a guy thought I’m like why why they show me a fucking ouja house I thought it was be hour for the first but fucking 3 minutes I

07:26.90
booooox
Well weja. No it is not ouja house I would have watched I would have watched fuuji house a second time because it had terror read. That’s not Ter Reid no

07:34.15
jim_phoenix
It’s a different movie the terror read read make fucking that that’s not terror read I thought was terror read Jesus no under my mind. Joke is like you’re like what the fuck terror read I thought it was ter I thought it was ter read.

07:44.94
booooox
Yeah I did not understand the joke. But I’m always for Tara reads her new podcast coming outs.

07:53.36
jim_phoenix
Ah, if I plug Dary’s new podcast series I spoke to not ter readid at all. No, but one day long yeah okay so death tunnel.

07:57.51
booooox
Oh yeah, Okay, but there is a girl in there that I did say blond bitch is the next terror read in the best way which it kind of is. But so the the idea of it.

08:09.42
jim_phoenix
Um I.

08:15.83
booooox
Is that um there are five like these girls are in college they have to go through this initiation thing um put on by the boys. Um, and of.

08:25.99
jim_phoenix
Oh course.

08:29.42
booooox
Again I want to just reiterate to people I haven’t even said it it yet. So I want to say it and then I’ll reiterate it. This was made in 2005

08:40.70
jim_phoenix
Um, why is why is head a home run job by or your saying it.

08:42.98
booooox
I don’t know why that’s a home run because it’s not a home run so 2005 just put that in your minds of 2005 so it it’s so much cgi and slow mo. Um.

08:50.38
jim_phoenix
Ah done I I can’t remember if far back? Yeah, ah, most of our aren more’t born yet by the way I you heard to you.

08:59.59
booooox
Basically that hurts me that hurts me all right children in 2005 which is funny because they’re not children anymore. They’re adults god I’m old.

09:07.42
jim_phoenix
Um.

09:16.19
booooox
Um, so in 2005 it plays out. Basically you know how when you watch ghost adventures and you see those like little things that it shows in the background of yeah you do I’m sure you do and it has those like.

09:20.57
jim_phoenix
Last was the bench. So.

09:33.65
booooox
Ghost and like that just stock footage of weird shit that’s going on that is what kind of this movie is so these five girls get brought into this house that is well. It’s a sanatorium kind of place where this. Fake plague this I wish so this fake plague went on called the white plague, um, Etc, Etc, Etc longest death tunnel in the world is there for some reason.

09:56.77
jim_phoenix
Um, metal tur.

10:05.51
jim_phoenix
Hey that’s the name of my Ex too Soona always said Deaf Tunnel I think meant something else death. Well its both death and death. It’s like a horror.

10:13.50
booooox
Um, ah like death Death’s Tunnel death tunnel. So we have the promise.

10:24.55
jim_phoenix
Situation by the way.

10:26.56
booooox
This is five girls 5 floors 5 hours five ghosts and you.

10:30.44
jim_phoenix
I’ve been in Vegas before I know how it works and the last one’s like the goat level right? Not the greatest all time it is actual goat like my.

10:41.70
booooox
The last one. Well there’s a lot of weird shit that does go on a lot of it does not make sense. Um I will say there was one jump scare that did get me surprisingly so but I’m also easy to jump scare. So I mean.

10:51.50
jim_phoenix
Really.

10:58.18
jim_phoenix
I That is truly I play video games with you. Not even like with me you were just watching but I’m the same with me.

10:59.80
booooox
And so I mean that’s not I am I’m very easy.

11:07.29
booooox
Oh yeah, no I watch marlier play 5 nights at Freddy’s I scream I scream so loud. My neighbors are like are you okay and I’m like I’m having the time of my life. Ah it is a consensual.

11:17.67
jim_phoenix
I Well not that way neighbors If you’re wondering this screaming horror as long as screams Potentialial Iss How he matters.

11:24.66
booooox
It’s all consensual neighbors. So um, the time in this movie is not linear in the least I would have to say the award to the worst editing I have seen in my entire life and I’m not being hyperbolic. Goes to this movie. They win an award good job. Job. Good job. The tunnel you did it. You did it I’m Proud. It is bad. It is it makes no sense and you’re.

11:44.82
jim_phoenix
They Yay they win an award um and then work like um.

12:01.38
booooox
You don’t understand what’s going on because we’re in the past. But Nope now we’re in the here and Nope now we’re over here and I didn’t well maybe the.

12:07.27
jim_phoenix
Hey hey hey no, no, no you said you didn’t see a house of Dragon Damn it pretty much describing the fucking three seat series Of course.

12:19.69
booooox
The writer Director producer musician of this movie. Hey.

12:22.80
jim_phoenix
Yeah, they like all there at least we see that dev tunnel here’s a couple million dollars an episode see. We can do.

12:33.19
booooox
It’s just this whole thing is wolf it it. It puts in all the effects all the noises. All the everything’s and Gramma’s cookies and you think that everything is like I don’t know.

12:49.68
jim_phoenix
Photo your own but it’s not ah.

12:50.83
booooox
Greensc screened but it’s not It’s not but it feels like it. It looks like it because it’s so weirdly shot and slow motiony and fake music videoe-ish it’s just it just looks so fake. And um, the main the last girl in the main dude sound like the californians like from Snl um, so it’s hilarious actually um whenever they talk you got a little bit of that when I showed it to you of basically people.

13:18.15
jim_phoenix
And I want to like it.

13:25.14
jim_phoenix
That that yeah like Bri goes send me a clip. There’s ba I would love to show it but it we it’s got too much of the actual video on it because it just sand face. Yeah.

13:27.90
booooox
Having sad faces.

13:37.76
booooox
It’s just sad faces I’ll put it on. Maybe um, my account on Instagram or something because it’s literally just I don’t know 30 seconds of just them having sad faces over and over and over again.

13:43.55
jim_phoenix
There you go.

13:53.26
jim_phoenix
It’s decent think it would make a great tickok you doing that.

13:53.62
booooox
And that is that is the the extent kind of of the movie. So it is oh my gosh You have no idea man I don’t know where people are in relation to each other. Um.

14:00.55
jim_phoenix
That is early. Oh shit.

14:12.62
booooox
It’s just it’s a wild bananas ride of of wellness and again like I said I I enjoy the premise I Enjoy oh five girls one on at every floor. There’s a ghost there to come and to haunt them and to scare them or possess them or whatever. That’s a great problem.

14:21.42
jim_phoenix
Find that the great.

14:29.23
jim_phoenix
We are the progression.

14:30.64
booooox
Miss That’s an interesting premise it ah it doesn’t really ah, fall too well into that. So kudos to the director Writer Producer Musiciant Cetera et Cetera for trying but. It just fell real flat. But the 1 good thing about it is the the piano music was nice.

14:57.64
jim_phoenix
Um, oh I think yeah that piano music are here. Oh.

15:01.19
booooox
The acting Oh is there piano music the crickets the crickets are playing piano. Oh yeah, that’s it and it was really sad whenever I heard that I got real sad. Um.

15:05.40
jim_phoenix
So good. There’s that family like um.

15:16.51
jim_phoenix
Are you you hopeful.

15:18.77
booooox
And honestly the actors were trying really hard. There was a lot of fake crying but they were they were trying they were giving it their terror read all and um, that made it the terror read all that’s her. Her.

15:27.74
jim_phoenix
I think doctor prescribe it to me before Ter read all yeah, it kick me up Ter read. All is it’s a collective of fairies. It’s like the super fan roundtable that.

15:36.41
booooox
Other podcasts. The terror read all yes and you know I would I would listen to them. But regardless they did They did try bless them they tried and at least it wasn’t. Completely unbearable because of that like they were at an eleven and I appreciated every bit of that so that is my review should you watch it? No So don’t watch it.

15:56.33
jim_phoenix
Um I.

16:07.70
jim_phoenix
Ah, well wow, you can say watch you have ways to watch world Gator or whether it was rollerator.

16:12.64
booooox
Roller Gator I Do I think you should watch your roller gater. Um, but this one I think it’s it has its moments that are really really funny like the one that I showed you but all in all I think in the end there’s Just. Ah, few and far between I think people should probably pass this one up. Um, it’s a great time capsule of what was in 2005? Um, but ah, let’s let’s let’s bury it and put it to rest.

16:42.46
jim_phoenix
Um, ah.

16:48.53
jim_phoenix
Bury it all put it all the rest put it in there and do other things with it right? Especially if it’s you know? um.

16:53.95
booooox
Um, conidually.

17:02.94
booooox
Um, you yeah you really need to find your glasses man because you’re your how you’re all over the place. So I would give this I would give this I would give it to.

17:04.72
jim_phoenix
Why there we la to worse my but how many how many cup there. Let you get this oh a 2

17:20.73
booooox
I would give it a 2 just because they acted so hard. They acted their hearts out to where it wasn’t at no point I was like furious at it. So I think that says something I just don’t think people should watch it.

17:22.46
jim_phoenix
Yes.

17:30.92
jim_phoenix
Um, this is.

17:36.92
booooox
Especially pregnant women the elderly and people with heart conditions not because it’s scary not because it’s scary. It’s just bad. Yeah yeah, probably not a good.

17:37.60
jim_phoenix
Um, the.

17:39.65
jim_phoenix
Or all 3 a that bad. Grab your health remind me a 2 you know and here’s here’s a thing at least it wasn’t like your favorite movie like hey we should that with voodoo. Like okay, but next time you pick your favorite movie of all time like that’s a poico 2.5 like your favorite movies to 2.5 you bad biology. Yeah, like 8.

18:06.79
booooox
But then she gave that that super sexual weird one like bad viology like a a million catthoos and I’m like everything you described to me is horrific and I would never want to watch this movie.

18:23.45
jim_phoenix
Though. But so that’s why I like your ratings because ah 2 you’re you’re pretty tough I fair and usually I’ll say like oh man, what are the scores I don’t know I can tap that so a box you better. Go I can top it to I can.

18:39.35
booooox
Ah, okay.

18:39.90
jim_phoenix
I mean not by much because my movie was day shift 20000 twenty two with Jamie Fox and if you ever wonder what James Franco looks without the rape accusations looks just like Dave Franco yeah

18:48.87
booooox
Jamie Foxx

18:57.92
jim_phoenix
I guess gently know and James might come back one day but hopefully this is a Netflix original I think a Netflix original I wasn’t paying that was a attention to it really a hardworking blue car dad just wants to provide a good life for his quick witted 10 year old daughter. Mundane san fernando valley pool clean jobs are front for a real source of income hunting and killing vampires. Also starring Snoop dog I think thetoop ball is a little girl. Yeah, yeah, it’s kind of cool that way.

19:21.83
booooox
Oh is Snoop dog the little girl. Oh all so cute so cute I’m I’m glad that they’re like you know, really expanding. You know the genre genre of.

19:32.71
jim_phoenix
Video.

19:38.36
jim_phoenix
The roles of it and I would um, be straight out with you. It took me 3 or 4 times to finish the movie and I’m pretty sure if I look at how long this movie is probably like 90 minutes maybe it just.

19:39.91
booooox
Of the roles. Yeah.

19:45.56
booooox
Okay.

19:51.99
booooox
Yeah.

19:55.86
jim_phoenix
Kind of not that dragged on and on and on and on and on but there were things that made zero sense even for a movie that has you know Jamie Fox and Snoop dog with Dave Franco apparently James is busy now. It. Didn’t it didn’t make sense man. It’s like I wanted to make sure that the kid in this movie is not actually Jamie Foxx’s kid. That’s the only reason I can think that this movie is made by Jamie Fox because like yeah I need something for my daughter to be in. So whatever. Do you got? really we gonna put a bi in okay because I think he’s actually said like you should never do it different like that or something right? Just you want to be like a hip ho iris and you kind of said no.

20:33.70
booooox
You know, um I want to put a pin in that I want to put a pin that but go on.

20:48.27
booooox
Oh no, not with his daughter I’m just saying with daughters in general. Well we’ll get there. But so okay so Jamie Fox is the lead character. He is the vampire hunter.

20:53.77
jim_phoenix
Oh okay, alright.

21:01.75
jim_phoenix
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not in real life as far as I know but it’s his daughter for the show and it’s kind of like the wise cracking daughter.

21:07.93
booooox
And that is that is his daughter or not his daughter. Oh.

21:20.35
jim_phoenix
Only existing to honestly give the guy something to do Otherwise it’s kind of like a guy just wanting money. You know he’s trying to get his daughter new school and try to save his family’s already divorced or not divorced I wasn’t paying that much of attention and he got kicked out of a vampire.

21:27.49
booooox
1 yeah.

21:39.50
jim_phoenix
Hunting union but they didn’t because he’s back with Snoop dog or and.

21:44.19
booooox
Oh so this is not like oh so vampire hunting is not like a so like ah on the slide This is like organized.

21:50.91
jim_phoenix
Um, no, it’s an yeah, this is this is something that ever knows about and they they have unions.

21:55.86
booooox
So they they had a Jimmy Hoffa of vampire hunting at some points. Basically you would think okay.

22:00.39
jim_phoenix
If you would like to sing it this way you get you. You could say that as you wish now I’m not going to crap on the writer. The writer has all of 1 credit and it is day shift.

22:14.90
booooox
Oh oh like.

22:17.33
jim_phoenix
Well congratulations getting your first movie green with by Netflix and.

22:19.57
booooox
Yeah, and with having Jamie Fox and Snoop dog I mean that would be a real feather in somebody’s cap.

22:28.47
jim_phoenix
Yeah, and the other one is ah, there’s other writers shahanton who did a army of dead also from Netflix that sucked complete ass. They shift awesome from Netflix I’m guessing army ofieves probably is just like army of fucking dead that sucked. Complete fucking asked and then somehow John with 3 it’s like complete shit complete shit composer and John with 3 like i.

22:46.47
booooox
Um, nine consensually and John John Wick 3 wow see like I even like John Wick 3

23:00.66
booooox
I didn’t like the first two. Yeah I didn’t look.

23:02.96
jim_phoenix
A really you know? what’s amazing about John Mc three we’re talking about that instead of the fucking movie I think I won.

23:10.67
booooox
Yeah I know so okay, so vampires are a real deal. Um, can they? Okay, so in this universe Do they come out during the day. Okay, they only come out during the nighttime they do not glitter.

23:14.14
jim_phoenix
Yeah, yes, the night time. However, however, they don’t glitter but they have like basically makeup they can go outside.

23:30.38
booooox
Okay, okay, okay.

23:32.45
jim_phoenix
Daytime and there’s different rules of chur and it’s sort of a comedy meaning they they built it as a comedy but it doesn’t work as a comedy nor fantasy nor an action movie. So all 3 things they actually built this for does not work at all.

23:50.14
booooox
Honestly, you know what it sounds like to me it sounds like bright. Yeah, it sounds like the will Smith bright like when they were trying to have the fantasy with the elves in the orcs and its partner was like.

23:51.57
jim_phoenix
The bunch of shipper bright and bright.

24:01.11
jim_phoenix
Why are you fucking? What? bright.

24:06.40
booooox
Bright Have you bright? What? no I’m just saying it’s It’s very like that.

24:08.86
jim_phoenix
Bright, No did I What your its bright. Do we review? bright? Oh thank God I bought me love what is bright I out light bright.

24:25.28
booooox
Bright, no, it was a movie that came out and people were like really really pumped up for it. It came out with I believe also Netflix it had will smith in it. Um, you know and like another big name actor and it was supposed to be kind of like comedic. Um.

24:30.97
jim_phoenix
Um, right.

24:44.92
booooox
Cop movie. But with fair like fairies and elves and things like that but like normal day normal you know and I am not making this set up.

24:54.57
jim_phoenix
I I think you’re making the shirt up now right? Okay I just go it. We a bright with Nomi rep it Really how I miss it.

25:04.74
booooox
Yeah, it it sounds like it’s trying to be bright. It sounds like you know it’s like oh this is the world now. But yeah.

25:12.86
jim_phoenix
Oh my God you’re right there Orcs Ah yeah, maybe ah because if you’re saying they’re both complete pieces of shit you are correct like right.

25:24.67
booooox
I’m just saying that they kind of missed their mark in a bit and maybe I I might get fla for that but they it sounds like they’re trying to be kind of comedic and kind of funny and kind of like oh this is like ah a whole world.

25:33.17
jim_phoenix
Um, no no.

25:40.75
jim_phoenix
Um, yes, and not.

25:44.30
booooox
But they don’t really world build eat.

25:44.67
jim_phoenix
Correct. No I read I’m reading the Richard Broper from Chicago suntimes which I do like that paper gain a film 1.5 out of 4 stars saying bright is basically a tired buddy cop movie dressed up as bizarre trappings. It doesn’t take itself too seriously but not nearly self-deprecating and funny as it needs to be that so could have been absolutely day shift. He can just like reuse the same thing. Yeah I think you’re hit on here there if you like bright first of all.

26:10.69
booooox
Yeah, that sounds like it. It’s.

26:20.40
jim_phoenix
Probably listen the fucking podcast because let’s take ah Streamman es ain’t for you. But if you hated bright, you’re Ros going hate day shift. It’s however I will say this. However, the thing that works the best with day shift. There’s 3 things.

26:38.33
jim_phoenix
Dave Franco funny ah Dave Franco because he’ he’s just newish but Jamie Fox is good in it. Hes solid Jamie Fox is out on this if this was not a Jamie Fox movie I wouldn’t be even watching the show.

26:39.23
booooox
Frankmon Oh big Frank goes then.

26:48.32
booooox
Well, he’s not well. He’s in a an Oscar winner isn’t he yes, wow.

26:55.27
jim_phoenix
Yeah, he’s got some talent I seen him when I see him and we started out for living color way back in the day. It’s good done. That’s the show. We should be watching a sort of day shift tell you that although stupid are pretty good too. But you guys fasture through a lot of bullshit to get there man the fight.

27:04.29
booooox
Kids That’s and that’s an old show.

27:12.25
booooox
Okay, so the middle one.

27:15.23
jim_phoenix
Decent the vampires they did something solid for the vampires they rented or paid I guess to cirle actors or out of work because of you know Covid and yeah, that is pretty damn cool.

27:22.76
booooox
Oh oh, that’s cool.

27:34.50
jim_phoenix
But not cool enough to absolutely do anything for this fucking movie Unfortunately, certain way certainly sir.

27:37.84
booooox
Ah, Circus Circus Circus de Su Delay Circus Du Slayed Circus salad.

27:47.31
jim_phoenix
Please ever suck second guys. sorry sorry sir sorry so so delay say say ah.

27:55.59
booooox
Um, Sir Okay, and no I can’t I can’t you know I can’t so I think that’s awesome I think I would love to watch vampires that’s are flying around and doing crazy shit.

28:03.27
jim_phoenix
What miss.

28:09.53
jim_phoenix
If like Ben yeah, so like it said it had all the trappings you just mess it up so I have they probably you seegi. They did the checkoff gun thing. There was a de.

28:23.00
booooox
The technology of course.

28:26.58
jim_phoenix
Scene with a grandmother who gets crappy over in the first three minutes but it just goes on too long to be really good just you know they go world. That’s how they world build like oh vampires are strongw. Got it. Thanks I needed 5 more fucking minutes of that. Ah, that drink blood huh. Okay.

28:27.95
booooox
Happy number. But just don’t go into a lot.

28:39.75
booooox
Yeah, okay like you’re shitting me vappingers drink blood. Oh oh, that’s changes. Everything.

28:47.59
jim_phoenix
Ah, yeah, like fireman or oh as long as we take out their fan or zone now know? Yeah, so yeah, sound check landing if it his.

28:57.17
booooox
All right question question. So do you think that this could have been Ah, okay, well do you think this could have been much better.

29:04.52
jim_phoenix
Object fucking opinion.

29:09.30
booooox
If it had been say like a show or a mini series or something like that o Steve so they only have one credit I mean they’re they’re doing their bestt 3

29:13.39
jim_phoenix
We’re just had fucking writers.

29:19.58
jim_phoenix
Well the other one like the other writer was from John Fucking Wick we say all on that preview is a John from the creative mind of John Wi three well apparently that John with 3 had more 1 fucking writer because this guy couldn’t write shit.

29:36.10
booooox
Well I’m sure I’m I’m sure well and you have to wonder too how much of it is Netflix I mean Rick and morty even joked about that like Netflix will buy anything.

29:38.40
jim_phoenix
I know I don’t I’m not trying to be mean to SH I t I want him to write that for me. Oh I think.

29:51.44
jim_phoenix
I think this guy has a 3 deal or multipicture deal with Netflix as a writer and one the writers does because all those movies on his I amdb are Netflix Netflix Netflix.

30:03.20
booooox
Okay, so young writers in the audience. You know what you have to do know you got to you got to make a gobbledy you vampire.

30:06.83
jim_phoenix
Apparently altogether like like gobbled the go to get some Netflix money largely I’m not saying you did that I saying allledly yeah because I can’t see this being in talent based the talent has to be re lying somewhere else. 2 hour movie Holy Christ yeah

30:28.19
booooox
Consensually, So um, what rating would you give it.

30:34.94
jim_phoenix
Um, here’s here’s the the the hard part the budget was the budget was a $100000000 are you fucking kidding me a hundred thing million.

30:47.00
booooox
I’m not surprised because most of that’s going to go towards your talent and also the cgi tailing and cgi.

30:53.45
jim_phoenix
Holy shit. Just knowing that it syncs a damn thing dramatically but okay, the the soundtrack is basically Tupac.

31:03.15
booooox
Okay, okay I’m here.

31:11.60
booooox
Oh wow.

31:12.52
jim_phoenix
California log fake that but the only damn thing and Snoop dogs in it I can’t give okay I can’t give Snoop dog a to so I’m so sorry I’m a pretended Snoop dog is not in this movie. And all that shit was just like a commercial for the movie. So this movie itself is a 1.5 hops tops snoop do scenes like 10 out twelve twenty out two three hundred of a million whatever it is hi. Yeah now Snoop dog.

31:37.97
booooox
Ah, oh my gosh. Oh Wow Yeah Sno Dogs fun s new dogs.

31:51.50
jim_phoenix
Plays it nice California love soundtracked again 10 out 10 but fuck this movie man fuck this shit fuck this movie and fuck Netflix we putting this movie out a $100000000 they could have like re up some series that people actually watch.

31:57.59
booooox
Yeah, apparently.

32:06.21
booooox
Yeah, yeah.

32:08.39
jim_phoenix
Ah, 1.5 my final fucking answer and just like this how but this I’ll put it this way thought this movie this movie goes from maybe the lakers you know, thought this movie well to dog goes from like maybe the lakers to fucking clippers. There’s and for that so up.

32:24.72
booooox
I don’t understand sports. So.

32:28.29
jim_phoenix
Yeah, that’s okay so if that being said, let’s move on to our third movie which is food about yoga hosers is the one with double team I think I should reviewed okhosers before for some time I don’t know probably did.

32:40.24
booooox
I Think this is the one that’s going to break our friendship to be honest, Yeah, it’s not. It’s not going to be roller gator I think it’s gonna be this one I’ve I’ve been dreading this moment.

32:43.94
jim_phoenix
Oh really, it won’t be fucking rollerator.

32:51.98
jim_phoenix
Oh.

32:57.45
jim_phoenix
I why you dread this moment you what? what? the fuck. How do you not like yo holeed the moeys the fucking Bri what is that parks with wouldn’t that little baby sharks.

33:01.52
booooox
I didn’t like it.

33:09.00
booooox
I knew this I knew this day would come I I knew this day would come I knew it I liked task I liked Tusk I.

33:16.75
jim_phoenix
That’s what you did and you nice movies. Never but um.

33:27.40
booooox
Did not like this movie and here’s where I put the pin in of of having a vehicle for daughters. Well both of the daughters because it was Kevin Smith daughter and Johnny Depp’s daughter and the whole.

33:30.61
jim_phoenix
Um, ah.

33:34.95
jim_phoenix
Um, oh you don’t like Johnny Depp’s daughter. Why man.

33:42.76
jim_phoenix
Um, yeah.

33:45.62
booooox
Movie I was like I don’t get anything from them I I I didn’t I I didn’t well I didn’t get anything from them like.

33:53.18
jim_phoenix
Um, their character That’s their character.

34:02.27
booooox
Anything like I didn’t feel for them I didn’t anything I know.

34:02.83
jim_phoenix
Oh I get it. You have to be canadian them to understand this movie so in Canada there’s things that look just like that and everyone is just sort of like even level throughout the entire thing. And then it’s always maple syrup with a dose of yoga you nothing really rising.

34:26.77
booooox
Like it was like when Johnny Dupp’s character was explaining like his book and stuff and they were just like he he he I’m like do something give give give more do something like don’t like. It felt like an older man writing for a younger person I know and I felt it I know I know yes I know.

34:50.20
jim_phoenix
It wasn an older man running for a younger person fifth wrote his for route he was going for p ether. Oh we shit this is a pg thirteen I like he was going for 13 rolls.

35:04.82
booooox
And I felt every moment of that I am closer to a 13 year old girl than he is. Ah um I’m going to rephrase that now.

35:05.59
jim_phoenix
Are you a 13 year old box.

35:12.41
jim_phoenix
Will raise remember kids we are not part of the dragon house or off of the dragon I as Kevin Smith is definitely closer to perfect.

35:23.64
booooox
Ah, no, and ah so.

35:33.62
booooox
They were 15 in the movie. Um, it was it felt like a fever dream. Um, the whole thing just felts like a fever dream and there’s so.

35:35.69
jim_phoenix
Sure, Yeah, ah.

35:47.74
booooox
Lot of good talent in there. There was a lot of good talent. Yeah Natasha Leon she’s beautiful she’s great she’s funny um like it. It got to the point when the.

35:51.63
jim_phoenix
Um, moms in there natasha le owns in here Ralph Garminton here Harry deal but dude.

36:05.93
booooox
The real villain is is there and there’s so many things going on. There’s satanism. There’s Razis Ah, there was.

36:10.50
jim_phoenix
Um.

36:16.22
jim_phoenix
Um, who the brazis its the proies really.

36:21.16
booooox
1 quote that I it was unforgivable I wrote it down I I wrote it down because it was unforgivable I’m like no, we’re not doing this ah, where was it I gotta find it.

36:22.42
jim_phoenix
You have calls you have quotes Oh there’s quotes this movie.

36:40.46
booooox
Um, so many nines it’s almost 10 because he kept saying nine Nine nine it’s so many nines it’s almost 10 and I said no I told my I told my db is green eyes a no um.

36:45.20
jim_phoenix
9 9 9 9 Um, no.

36:59.53
booooox
And then when he was doing all the accents The villain I was like what is going on I think I’m having a fever and I’m just I don’t know what’s going on and then yoga and then.

37:15.92
jim_phoenix
Okay, Yogi bear eat it like Yogi bear. Okay, like the apparently there’s like the guy has like no idea like apparently there’s a fucking thing all Yogi bear out here.

37:17.89
booooox
Ships. Okay so Yogi Bear was the only part that I actually laughed at.

37:29.43
booooox
Yeah, that that was kind of funny I did like that I did like um when they they were in class and they said we have as special instructions from our our yoga teacher because you’re just gonna mess it Up. Um. That was kind of funny I Just it felt like a vehicle for their daughters at every step.

37:54.51
jim_phoenix
Um, that’s the thing Kevin Smith doesn’t deny anything you’re saying it’s a hundred percent a vehicle for his daughters and Johnny Deb’s daughter is 100% aim for kids and it’s on percent an older white man.

37:57.37
booooox
Down it out.

38:07.69
jim_phoenix
Tried and write a Pg 2 13 movie. Yeah, and for me and a hundred percent works

38:10.20
booooox
Yep I’m I’m glad it works for you I really am I I don’t know I’ve.

38:16.46
jim_phoenix
So you had to be Canadian day. That’s what it did.

38:23.97
booooox
Vacationed in Canada many years in my life. Um I’m still trying to be canadian if anybody wants to marry me I’m having applications open interviews from 2 to 5 every Wednesday um, so it’s just.

38:26.65
jim_phoenix
Um, ah.

38:43.73
booooox
I Don’t know I mean and it was oh I did also laugh at sorry a boot that sorry about that that was kind of funny that was I think there are things that are quotable from it. But at the same.

38:50.20
jim_phoenix
Reboot that through that I make fun of that sometimes I make fun of it making fun in the Thirdania.

39:01.70
jim_phoenix
Burn. Ah I know right on the.

39:03.40
booooox
At the same point in time I don’t know I I just I think I didn’t connect to it as much as I connected to like say Tusk or even red state or something like that.

39:14.97
jim_phoenix
Oh red state’s not comfortable but rest states just a whole we shit how to just like Kevin kind of fuck it high machine instead coming back to more enough. He made a movie.

39:22.40
booooox
Yeah, Red State’s insane in. It’s so many levels and honestly it was it was. It’s red state is terrifying in the best of in worst of ways. Um.

39:33.96
jim_phoenix
Um, yeah, absolutely right? They I thought I saw mercy I Mike that was talking KeSmith

39:40.62
booooox
Yeah, it doesn’t it’s not Kevin Smith at all like it feels not like Kevin Smith and John Goodman is phenomenal, phenomenal. Um, and even Tusk is like it is.

39:44.65
jim_phoenix
Um, and mesmerizing. But like I say in high me away. It’s like very.

39:55.50
booooox
It is weird and quirky and like you don’t know what’s going to happen and then it all happens and you’re like what is going on. Um, but.

40:04.79
jim_phoenix
What what flying on me hey in sp the fire. Okay, if you like it. Okay I one has to like good movies. Me know you can also.

40:13.20
booooox
No man just sorry dude. Ah yeah I think you and I would teach different classes.

40:23.81
jim_phoenix
Like this is nominated for 2 awards audience darling with oh the kevins. It just says nominate hard line film festival best film chemist spoke director and then the houston film critics society awards.

40:30.61
booooox
A razzy.

40:43.97
jim_phoenix
Or ah or Fisher. But you know it goes from best director nomination to word fisher adopt I been um, pretty hard. Okay Kevin Smith what wanted years ago to make the great white trilogy.

40:46.45
booooox
Of for worse picture. Ah it did it did bomb very hard. It bombed pretty hard I like that a bomb bar.

41:02.57
jim_phoenix
And it was Tusk it was yoga hosers and it was Moose Jaws and in studies making Tusk with 2 and clerks 3 But I have been trying to poke and be really honest about it saying hey I will help finance Moose Jaws not a big deal.

41:06.35
booooox
Bruce yeah moose straws.

41:22.30
jim_phoenix
I look at this budget I didn’t know this I look at the budget for yoga hosers the estimated five mill and it made 36 grand back I was like yeah bo that ah money for mo jaws. So.

41:36.70
booooox
Yeah, yeah, let me.

41:40.45
jim_phoenix
Funny I think I like okay so he probably made it for a like a mill or 2 like how bad could it do I mean honest guy you’ll make your you make the money back. You might not make marketing but you’ll get make the fucking. How.

41:49.83
booooox
Ah, yeah, eventually he’ll make it back but it’s not.

41:56.67
jim_phoenix
We would like to thank Kevin Smith and apparently the drug dealer who was trying to launder money to make this movie because it it movie for me to watch I appreciate the movie. We we play your names. 2 teenage yoga enthusiasts must do battle for evil presence that was threatening to rise from his underground layer and endanger the major party on the pounds. This is a decent log line i’t know who wrote this this is much better than the damn daybreak one was just a formula one. So okay. Vo giving any spoilers away I will say something from trivia Jason Mus was supposed to be in this few the fume this film as the brotys but he was too apparently according to Imdb it was too claustrophobic.

42:35.62
booooox
Oh.

42:42.20
booooox
Too closer to go up the assholes. Oh yeah I could see that.

42:45.55
jim_phoenix
Yes, they heavy fi the ass the ticket the rubb suit to get in the river suits because it took a full body suit ro and allegedly Haley Joe Osmond’s manager said no he like oh we want? no.

42:53.00
booooox
Oh.

43:03.69
booooox
I Thought he wasn’t it. Oh yeah, no.

43:05.42
jim_phoenix
No, no, no well he’s in it but not as a bratzzy like I guess there’ll be too demeaning for someone who basically did Anekin Skywalker as a child isn’t he the one that did the Hannigan Stylewalker oh wait he he’s saw dead people.

43:15.27
booooox
Wait what Haily Joel Osmond no no, he was yes but he was also I believe in Tusk too I think no I think he was in the no I think he was in the.

43:25.50
jim_phoenix
Ah, careers I’m sorry toss the second word task 2

43:33.60
jim_phoenix
Um, he’s also in sex ed.

43:34.31
booooox
The Tusk he’s.

43:38.35
booooox
He’s been. He’s been getting back into stuff and he’s really good.

43:42.48
jim_phoenix
I I don’t know you know it’s gonna be anything really and goes wow but I will say for this movie because it has a lot of things I like I was telling a classes today. About inglorious bastards I can watch nazis die all fucking day long like that’s that’s my jam if you just show me like a nazi snuff film where just nazis killing each other I would probably have an direction for cheeseburger as Dennis Lear would say.

44:17.22
booooox
Maybe that’s the thing because it they didn’t feel like Nazis to me they didn’t they they didn’t feel like genuine not like surf Nazis feel like Nazis to me because they are.

44:18.76
jim_phoenix
This is their brotzis than that Nazis are prozis.

44:32.70
jim_phoenix
Well let me describe it. Okay, let’s describe this to people who haven’t seen it home. You take a small dick and you kind of put like like dark hair and shit and you you film into like a big condom.

44:47.00
booooox
It’s a sausage. No, they’re not digs. They’re they’re actually sausages they’re they’re sausages they’re brazeys they’re they’re sausages and the they have Kevin Smith’s face and.

44:50.73
jim_phoenix
And they’re only a four feet tall that’s fucking Hitler Hitler what you doing the sausage is up to you.

45:06.98
jim_phoenix
Um, we had a shape that I guess first time in 2 years yeah ah

45:09.44
booooox
Ah, really oof so and they would say things like Fundaba and Nine Nine nine and and they would run around and basically what they would do is somehow.

45:14.47
jim_phoenix
The bar.

45:26.64
booooox
Through people’s pants and I didn’t understand this they would do they they burrow but they burrow like how did they and they do it very quickly and and but how.

45:27.73
jim_phoenix
That right? That’s a coolest though they go of their butthole and die that way or crawled up your ass and died right.

45:42.29
jim_phoenix
Um, or sausages how they they’re already in the condom. What do you mean? It’s basically Rat meat.

45:45.60
booooox
Like yeah but they go up like there’s no tearing of clothes. There’s no, it’s just suddenly they’re going up and then they they come up out of the throat.

45:56.82
jim_phoenix
But going a baby order. No of course whoa How else does anatomy work.

46:03.43
booooox
And that was gross. Doubt it? no that is not how anatomy works Jim you cannot go up the butt to the throat as a wiener. Oh my god.

46:12.82
jim_phoenix
Um, it goes up out the throat your your knee bones connected to your shin bone your shit bones connected to your toe bones your toe bones connect to your butthole is connected to your throat.

46:26.39
booooox
This is not This is not human centipede. This is not how this works we we agree we disagree on this one and we disagree on.

46:28.30
jim_phoenix
That’s some so those man that’s all I swear with enough this. Ah this is a brotiess. Okay so we might disagree on this one I guess.

46:43.18
jim_phoenix
We just set the same Korea we do disagree on a lot of movies which is kind of cool.

46:45.10
booooox
Ah, hu Satta Sanria We do disagree on a lot of movies and we disagree hardcore on Mad Maxpheria road.

46:58.56
jim_phoenix
Ah, we disagree hardcore that roller gator is a movie for dating.

47:04.65
booooox
Oh no, it’s not a role. Yeah, it is not a movie for dating Oh by the way I Just want to say this? Um so I was talking to a person a very a lovely lady.

47:11.27
jim_phoenix
Yes, this you were good for you. You’re talking to a person all all hair. Oh that’s always pain.

47:21.81
booooox
Um, yeah, and we were talking movies. You’re being rude, you’re being rude, you’re being rude for the joke that I’m setting up the joke of my life. The joke of my life. So listen I was so I was texting her and I said.

47:28.73
jim_phoenix
Ka here Veryy rude you you can’t say that we care we care and I care for the chicken your life. Yes.

47:41.55
booooox
You know we’re talking about ah ah, dinosaur movies and she’s like oh I love dinosaur movies I’m like great me too. She’s like you know I’ve seen like so many of them I even saw this awful 1 You never believe it. It’s called philoso pastor.

47:45.43
jim_phoenix
Are now.

48:00.93
jim_phoenix
Um, oh God it.

48:00.94
booooox
And I said oh I Love Vel loss of Pastors hilarious and stone cold I was ghosted right after that? Yeah yeah.

48:07.61
jim_phoenix
No shit really I wonder why I wonder who is home at home bra just said their favorite movie world’s villaer pasture and they are saying yoga hosers no good. So what who Goingnna believe I call jimbo.

48:16.43
booooox
Ah, her loss.

48:24.52
booooox
I’m saying Surf Nazis must die is the best.

48:26.92
jim_phoenix
Who who got you back I’m just saying neither these actually sound appealing whatsoever. Surf fact dying V last or pastor. It’s all.

48:39.23
booooox
Surf nazis musta is incredible and philosophy ester is hilarious and um, you know too bad for anybody you know for for not knowing that and not realizing that and one day one day I will I will use rollergator as a dating movie as a litmus as a litmus test.

48:58.86
jim_phoenix
You should I honest to God That’s what I’m I Do forget if you see me on Tinder or like that don’t swipe right until you see a briloator that should be my intro watch this movie and then talk to me or not.

49:10.99
booooox
That’s oh I should put that too.

49:17.93
booooox
Ah, or or or save save yourself and ah and swipe left we are watching it at least twice.

49:18.65
jim_phoenix
Evening your time of going out and meeting you.

49:23.89
jim_phoenix
Because we’re watching this movie on repeat. Oh yeah I had I worked at a a gay club in Vegas a long time ago and we would play on the pray I work for like a minimum wage.

49:37.38
booooox
Brag.

49:43.42
jim_phoenix
Yeah, and our costume was our outfit was a black bow tie and some black pants with some shoes. No I didn’t say anything else. But yeah.

49:43.63
booooox
Brag.

49:55.13
booooox
Oh.

50:00.37
jim_phoenix
We would have a video wall that played fine young cannibals on fucking you the point where I do yes and it did it fuck it did it was like is rain man Drive Crazy is rainy man and drive is crazy. Oh and pink is reading men.

50:06.63
booooox
Ah, she drives me crazy. Oh ah, that’s amazing.

50:20.28
jim_phoenix
Oh thats what I’m gonna do in my house I’m gonna have a video wall. Let’s just rollatorter that in a bed a rotating bag the better where you are you always see real gter.

50:20.86
booooox
That’s amazing. Oh yes, that’s perfect. That’s perfect. Yeah oh roller gater should be on the wall I like on the the ceiling like a mirror but roller gaator.

50:36.20
jim_phoenix
Know? Yeah oh I’m not your slub of course it’s cut of balance the ceiling. Okay, so as we get up as we get up as we say why or ever go down. But what you get what you give.

50:43.53
booooox
Yeah, it’s beautiful. Okay, as we get off topic. Um, you’re going to be mad though.

50:54.83
jim_phoenix
Yoga holdsers I’m curious. Oh I won’t 2.5 that’s more than I gave a snoopog movie.

50:58.86
booooox
You’re gonna be managed I’m gonna get by 2.5

51:05.87
booooox
Well yeah I mean like I didn’t hate it. Um, there were parts that I did like it’s just this was not the Kevin Smith movie for me like I said I probably like tusk better and and red state.

51:13.51
jim_phoenix
I Can agree so breast I like better, but okay, all right I’m trying to think I trying to think well it goes.

51:24.25
booooox
It’s so good. But do you give it are you calculating. He’s thinking very hard. He’s he’s like using his fingers to calculate. What? yeah.

51:32.45
jim_phoenix
Yes I am ah is know five is it out 5 or ratings I forgot this photo off I’m giving yoga holders.

51:41.88
booooox
Yes, it’s been like two weeks it it’s only been two weeks it’s not like it’s been three one months or anything. It’s been two weeks

51:47.94
jim_phoenix
And that Korea the I bringus system my god well what do we do been a long week right? Oh I have to say this if you ever wondering if the talents for pinky and the brain. Are like good people, nice people or some of the they’re fucking amazing people.

52:14.44
booooox
You know I just read a um, a thing of the guy who plays pinky. Um he came out with a I think it was a little while ago though, but a biography about when he had throat cancer and basically how.

52:20.92
jim_phoenix
Um, Rob Paul um ah

52:31.58
booooox
Um, being a voice actor kind of saved his life in a way and I am dying to read it. So I’m going to read that.

52:40.70
jim_phoenix
That’s it Rob Paulson a Maurice Lamarsh they’re both amazing people if the even the one of them has a book absolutely get it. They’re an absolute pleasure and I can say that because it was in public spaces.

52:47.99
booooox
All I I I’m I’m looking forward to that then because I I saw that as a book and I thought that sounds like a really fun memoir to to read.

52:57.60
jim_phoenix
And up to life.

53:02.53
jim_phoenix
Yeah, and if they were in this movie. It will be a 5 but they’re not I’m speaking with my three point five it. It’s a decent movie I like Kevin Smith I like yoga hosers. It’s not for everyone and I don’t I can’t believe how absolutely.

53:06.28
booooox
Yeah, absolutely okay, that’s that’s fair enough.

53:23.43
jim_phoenix
Ah, how weirdly in Shape Justin Long is fucking jealous.

53:27.97
booooox
Oh he is oh and by the way I feel let me just apologize to Justin Long on Behalf of Detroit I found out all about how he was basically kidnapped in Detroit while he was filming and um. Some shady shit really happened to him in Detroit um, because he had trusted some people that were here and I just want to extend an apology because that’s that’s awful and.

53:55.91
jim_phoenix
And that person’s name to Bey more yeah allegly All Obligedly I hope I you stay like with for that one because.

54:02.39
booooox
Allegedly, allegedly, but seriously he talked about it in a podcast and and he’s he seems like just a very cool guy and a good actor too like like I said he was probably a favorite character in the Movie. Yogi bear.

54:19.59
jim_phoenix
Don’t give bear. Yeah I can see it I do I did like him in this one I like him in a lot of stuff so people point five. That’s my final answer box What you got plug we plugger.

54:23.25
booooox
Yeah.

54:30.77
booooox
Oh I am plugging. It’s you can’t see it um viewers at home read listeners at home. But um I have some candles burning right now. Um.

54:35.28
jim_phoenix
Oh you heard me.

54:45.55
booooox
From one of my very favorite places earthberry apothecary and the owner is a delight um the candles.

54:51.19
jim_phoenix
Um, over.

54:55.21
jim_phoenix
That like rapper or rest your possible. What is it called velocpasor. Do they like Vellaa passor if you want to remain friends with them see that’s learning.

55:02.76
booooox
Huh you know it did not come up. It did not come up. It it is but basically it’s all family owned. It’s made in Michigan It’s earth-friendly with non-toxic ingredients your house will smell amazing I love the abyss scent I find it like.

55:13.28
jim_phoenix
Don’t measure them that pair.

55:29.24
booooox
Very kind of watery and just clean and also kind of creepy and um, they have like new autumn stuff coming out now. Um, and it’s all soy too. Um, so you know that it’s good. It’s clean. It’s gonna burn clean.

55:32.97
jim_phoenix
That’s quite a possible time just like China.

55:46.54
jim_phoenix
soy candles soy candle basically you’re you’re like draining California of energy and water to to light a fire.

55:48.33
booooox
Ah, so.

55:56.23
booooox
Ah I don’t think so I don’t think so they also have soaps though. So if you want soaps or lip bombs or body bombs or diffusers or things like that bath bombs. They have all of that.

56:00.47
jim_phoenix
Ah.

56:13.00
booooox
And they are Lga Bt q um supportive and friendly and I don’t I have no idea why you punched line that anyway if you.

56:13.30
jim_phoenix
Um, kept um mean hey that’s not a punch line dammit I didn’t touch it. You touched it you you put your hand on the board I didn’t touch it. Holy crow.

56:30.29
booooox
Want to smell amazing if you want your house to smell amazing if just like Grandma’s cookies um that’s probably 1 of the candles I would imagine um go ahead to earthberryapothecary.com

56:30.59
jim_phoenix
Um.

56:34.60
jim_phoenix
Have is cooking take some Grandma’s cooking

56:42.40
jim_phoenix
Um, down I’m got.

56:48.78
booooox
Again, that’s earth Barry Apothecary a P O T H E C A R Y Dot Com and get yourself some candles because it’s it’s it’s that time it is that time.

56:56.93
jim_phoenix
Get some well okay I can get me behind that man far out man and then this makes my plug a bit i’mlugging Kevin Smith because and it.

57:13.64
booooox
Ah I mean you got to you got a plug where you got a plug you know.

57:14.80
jim_phoenix
Ah, clerk 3 got to make money back I will be at Kevin Smith premiere in montreal of clerks 3 yep.

57:26.31
booooox
Brag that one you can brag.

57:29.57
jim_phoenix
He’s doing a q and a work preiere is that like premiere. It’s not world premiere. It’s just he’s traveling with it on October seventeenth at Limp Olympia look it up and if you are in the area for Montreal October seventeenth go see clerk 3

57:35.45
booooox
That’s cool.

57:49.23
jim_phoenix
I found a little bit about what was oh I saw the trailer finally and it’s it’s pretty touching it sounds truthful like 2 truths mixed together his current truth and his former truth and that’s a lot of truth mixing man. So check it out cur pre. Yeah, it’s truth surum.

58:02.26
booooox
That’s like a truth cocktail The ah.

58:06.98
jim_phoenix
Who choose your message one. So check that out and of course if you are in Canada may I please say go out and vote it’s coming up soon guys and if you’re Quebec I’m and come up play this out here. 1 party.

58:16.43
booooox
Oh yeah, but.

58:25.83
jim_phoenix
Won’t debate in English They won’t even had an English on their website. They apologize for any English that appeared in the website So fuck you Cac C a Q suck my C a Q that they’re so fucking brain dead. They didn’t understand that meant cock.

58:38.33
booooox
Ah I don’t think that’s how that’s spelled.

58:44.17
jim_phoenix
Okay, if you real I Don like put it out there I guess you are where you eat, but that’s okay so go vote.

58:50.80
booooox
I would like to say in the us please do the same because we are become we are getting to that that point go ahead and be spooky for October but in November let’s all get together and go vote because that makes a difference.

58:55.73
jim_phoenix
No.

59:07.84
jim_phoenix
Damn right.

59:09.27
booooox
Especially in Michigan because we all know that a lot of women’s rights are being taken away especially and also gate rights.

59:16.17
jim_phoenix
Well, a lot of women’s rights like almost the I believe governors right of existing because they want a kidnapper you said.

59:25.85
booooox
Yeah, our governor Yeah, they wanted to kidnap her and then the person that’s running now is no exceptions type person when it comes to abortions. So so that’s that’s her rival So please please.

59:35.74
jim_phoenix
Awesome on. Well.

59:43.74
booooox
Obviously I’m not telling you which way or what to to vote. But for the the rights of women. There’s a clear. There’s a clear winner in that.

59:53.38
jim_phoenix
And all I know is I’m telling you how to vote don’t vote for CAQ you do fight off the closer to and I don’t need you the end.

01:00:01.80
booooox
As as my haunted empty all says don’t vote for cock.

01:00:07.21
jim_phoenix
Fuck yourself Yeah Belt cocks for a lot of things you you can slap it you you can shove it up in their holes. You can like put your whatever on it but don’t hope right that just don’t vote for it all right.

01:00:16.40
booooox
You can You can kiss it very gently in the rain. Just don’t vote for it I feel like that should be a t-shirt. Well just you know you you could do a lot of things with cock and then you could just like list off things.

01:00:25.95
jim_phoenix
Ah, don’t forgetok. Yeah.

01:00:34.59
booooox
You know.

01:00:36.36
jim_phoenix
Ah, what now we’re list off the show So on Behalf of my subption and my cohost J M Brianock I bid you good day. Why don’t although we refrick and remember kids if there’s a movie.

01:00:45.16
booooox
He just doesn’t want to talk about cock anymore.

01:00:53.78
jim_phoenix
You saw we haven’t well good for fucking. You was like a billion people on a planet who burn not vote for 1 way or the other there’s all you 2 us by everyone vote.

01:01:01.35
booooox
I.

Real skull. Don't ask. You wouldn't believe it if I told you.

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Original Creations

Goodbye for Now, a Short Story by Jennifer Weigel

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What if ours weren’t the only reality? What if the past paths converged, if those moments that led to our current circumstances got tangled together with their alternates and we found ourselves caught up in the threads?


Marla returned home after the funeral and wake. She drew the key in the lock and opened the door slowly, the looming dread of coming back to an empty house finally sinking in. Everyone else had gone home with their loved ones. They had all said, “goodbye,” and moved along.

Her daughter Misty and son-in-law Joel had caught a flight to Springfield so he could be at work the next day for the big meeting. Her brother Darcy was on his way back to Montreal. Emmett and Ruth were at home next door, probably washing dishes from the big meal they had helped to provide afterward, seeing as their kitchen light was on. Marla remembered there being food but couldn’t recall what exactly as she hadn’t felt like eating. Sandwiches probably… she’d have to thank them later.

Marla had felt supported up until she turned the key in the lock after the services, but then the realization sank deep in her throat like acid reflux, hanging heavy on her heart – everyone else had other lives to return to except for her. She sighed and stepped through the threshold onto the outdated beige linoleum tile and the braided rag rug that stretched across it. She closed the door behind herself and sighed again. She wiped her shoes reflexively on the mat before just kicking them off to land in a haphazard heap in the entryway.

The still silence of the house enveloped her, its oppressive emptiness palpable – she could feel it on her skin, taste it on her tongue. It was bitter. She sighed and walked purposefully to the living room, the large rust-orange sofa waiting to greet her. She flopped into its empty embrace, dropping her purse at her side as she did so.

A familiar, husky voice greeted her from deeper within the large, empty house. “Where have you been?”

Marla looked up and glanced around. Her husband Frank was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, drying a bowl. Marla gasped, her hand shooting to her mouth. Her clutched appendage took on a life of its own, slowly relinquishing itself of her gaping jaw and extending a first finger to point at the specter.

“Frank?” she spoke hesitantly.

“Yeah,” the man replied, holding the now-dry bowl nestled in the faded blue-and-white-checkered kitchen towel in both hands. “Who else would you expect?”

“But you’re dead,” Marla spat, the words falling limply from her mouth of their own accord.

The 66-year old man looked around confusedly and turned to face Marla, his silver hair sparkling in the light from the kitchen, illuminated from behind like a halo. “What are you talking about? I’m just here washing up after lunch. You were gone so I made myself some soup. Where have you been?”

“No, I just got home from your funeral,” Marla spoke quietly. “You are dead. After the boating accident… You drowned. I went along to the hospital – they pronounced you dead on arrival.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Frank said. “What boating accident?”

“The sailboat… You were going to take me out,” Marla coughed, her brown eyes glossed over with tears.

“We don’t own a sailboat,” Frank said bluntly. “Sure, I’d thought about it – it seems like a cool retirement hobby – but it’s just too expensive. We’ve talked about this, we can’t afford it.”

Marla glanced out the bay window towards the driveway where the small sailboat sat on its trailer, its orange hull reminiscent of the Florida citrus industry, and also of the life jacket Frank should have been wearing when he’d been pulled under. Marla cringed and turned back toward the kitchen. She sighed and spoke again, “But the boat’s out front. The guys at the marina helped to bring it back… after you… drowned.”

Frank had retreated to the kitchen to put away the bowl. Marla followed. She stood in the doorway and studied the man intently. He was unmistakably her husband, there was no denying it even despite her having just witnessed his waxen lifeless body in the coffin at the wake before the burial, though this Frank was a slight bit more overweight than she remembered.

“Well, that’s not possible. Because I’m still here,” Frank grumbled. He turned to face her, his blue eyes edged with worry. “There now, it was probably just a dream. You knew I wanted a boat and your anxiety just formulated the worst-case scenario…”

“See for yourself,” Marla said, her voice lilting with every syllable.

Frank strode into the living room and stared out the bay window. The driveway was vacant save for some bits of Spanish moss strewn over the concrete from the neighboring live oak tree. He turned towards his wife.

“But there’s no boat,” he sighed. “You must have had a bad dream. Did you fall asleep in the car in the garage again?” Concern was written all over his face, deepening every crease and wrinkle. “Is that where you were? The garage?”

Marla glanced again at the boat, plain as day, and turned to face Frank. Her voice grew stubborn. “It’s right here. How can you miss it?” she said, pointing at the orange behemoth.

“Honey, there’s nothing there,” Frank exclaimed, exasperation creeping into his voice.

Marla huffed and strode to the entryway, gathering her shoes from where they waited in their haphazard heap alongside the braided rag run on the worn linoleum floor. She marched out the door as Frank took vigil in its open frame, still staring at her. She stomped out to the boat and slapped her hand on the fiberglass surface with a resounding smack. The boat was warm to the touch, having baked in the Florida sun. She turned back towards the front door.

“See!” she bellowed.

The door stood open, empty. No one was there, watching. Marla sighed again and walked back inside. The vacant house once again enveloped her in its oppressive emptiness. Frank was nowhere to be found.

Sailboat drawing in reverse by Jennifer Weigel
Sailboat drawing in reverse by Jennifer Weigel

So I guess it’s goodbye for now. Feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.

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Original Series

Nightmarish Nature: Just Jellies

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Today on Nightmarish Nature we’re gonna revisit The Blob and jiggle our way to terror. Why? ‘Cause we’re just jellies – looking at those gelatinous denizens of the deep, as well as some snot-like land-bound monstrosities, and wishing we could ooze on down for some snoozy booze schmoozing action. Or something.

Ooze on in for some booze schmoozin' action
Ooze on in for some booze schmoozin’ action

Honestly, I don’t know what exactly it is that jellyfish and slime molds do but whatever it is they do it well, which is why they’re still around despite being among the more ancient organism templates still in common use.

Jellyfish are on the rise.

Yeah, yeah, some species like moon jellies will hang out in huge blooms near the surface feeding, but that’s not what I meant. Jellyfish populations are up. They’re honing in on the open over-fished ocean and making themselves at home. Again.

And, although this makes the sea turtles happy since jellies are a favorite food staple of theirs, not much else is excited about the development. Except for those fish that like to hide out inside of their bells, assuming they don’t accidentally get eaten hanging out in there. But that’s a risk you gotta take when you’re trying to escape predation by surrounding yourself in a bubble of danger that itself wants to eat you. Be eaten or be eaten. Oh, wait…

Fish hiding in jellyfish bell
In hiding…

So what makes jellies so scary?

Jellyfish pack some mighty venom. Despite obvious differences in mobility, they are related to anemones and corals. But not the Man o’ War which looks similar but is actually a community of microorganisms that function together as a whole, not one creature. Not that it matters when you’re on the wrong end of a nematocyst, really. Because regardless what it’s attached to, that stings.

Box jellies are among the most venomous creatures in the world and can move of their own accord rather than just drifting about like many smaller jellyfish do. And even if they aren’t deadly, the venom from many jellyfish species will cause blisters and lesions that can take a long time to heal. So even if they do resemble free-floating plastic grocery bags, you’d do best to steer clear. Because those are some dangerous curves.

Jellies in bloom
Jellies in bloom

But what does this have to do with slime molds?

Absolutely nothing. I honestly don’t know enough about jellyfish or slime molds to devote the whole of a Nightmarish Nature segment to either, so they had to share. Essentially, this bit is what happened when I decided to toast a bagel before coming up with something to write about and spent a tad too much time in contemplation of my breakfast. I guess we’re lucky I didn’t have any cream cheese or clotted cream…

Jellies breakfast of champions
Jellies breakfast of champions

Oh, and also thinking about gelatinous cubes and oozes in the role-playing game sense – because those sort of seem like a weird hybrid between jellies and slime molds, as does The Blob. Any of those amoeba influenced creatures are horrific by their very nature – they don’t even need to be souped up, just ask anyone who’s had dysentery.

And one of the most interesting thing about slime molds is that they can take the shortest path to food even when confronted with very complex barriers. They are maze masterminds and would give the Minotaur more than a run for his money, especially if he had or was food. They have even proven capable of determining the most efficient paths for water lines or railways in metropolitan regions, which is kind of crazy when you really think about it. Check it out in Scientific American here. So, if we assume that this is essentially the model upon which The Blob was built, then it’s kind of a miracle anything got away. And slime molds are coming under closer scrutiny and study as alternative means of creating computer components are being explored.

Jellies are the Wave of the Future.

We are learning that there may be a myriad of uses for jellyfish from foodstuffs to cosmetic products as we rethink how we interact with them. They are even proving useful in cleaning up plastic pollution. I don’t know how I feel about the foodstuff angle for all that they’ve been a part of various recipes for a long time. From what I’ve seen of the jellyfish cookbook recipes, they just don’t look that appealing. But then again I hate boba with a passion, so I’m probably not the best candidate to consider the possibility.

So it seems that jellies are kind of the wave of the future as we find that they can help solve our problems. That’s pretty impressive for some brainless millions of years old critter condiments. Past – present – perpetuity! Who knows what else we’d have found if evolution hadn’t cleaned out the fridge every so often?

Feel free to check out more Nightmarish Nature here.

Vampires Among Us

Perilous Parenting

Freaky Fungus

Worrisome Wasps

Cannibalism

Terrifying Tardigrades

Reindeer Give Pause

Komodo Dragons

Zombie Snails

Horrifying Humans

Giants Among Spiders

Flesh in Flowers

Assassin Fashion

Baby Bomb

Orca Antics

Creepy Spider Facts

Screwed Up Screwworms

Scads of Scat

Starvation Diet

Invisibles Among Us

Monstrous Mimicry

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Doctor Who

Identical: Yes.  The Same: No – Exploring the World of AI Reconstructions in Doctor Who

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Doctor Who AI Reconstruction - Marco Polo

The second half of 2024 was a bit of slow for Doctor Who news.  Ncuti Gatwa’s first season finished in June, and the Christmas special was months away.  Comics and audio plays continued, and a Blu-Ray set of Season 25 was released – but that was all. 

However, what was new and exciting was a spate of unofficial recreations of missing Doctor Who stories from the sixties.  Re-animations of missing stories have occurred previously, both officially by the BBC and unofficially by fans. However, animation production time means it’s rare to have more than a few episodes a year.  However within the space of six months, forty-four recreated episodes were released, with the promise of more to come. 

Ian Levine - Interviewed for the Lost in Time Documentary

The reason how so many stories have been released so quickly is artificial intelligence (AI). These reconstructions are Generative AI, funded by professional songwriter, film producer, and fan, Ian Levine.  This decision to make Doctor Who AI Reconstructions, to put it mildly, has been controversial online. 

But is it worth it, in order to having otherwise missing stories returned to us?  I’ve examined many of these Doctor Who AI reconstructions, and the discourse around them, to find out.

In Brief – Missing Episodes

A decent proportion of Doctor Who’s earliest years shockingly does not exist anymore.  Doctor Who is one of the BBC’s biggest revenue raisers, and most famous show around the world.  However it was not always the case. 

When Doctor Who first began in 1963, the idea of keeping media was not really considered.  Home video did not exist, and would not exist for two decades.  Repeats were rare, due to the costs at the time to store old material and pay people involved in them.  Also, old film presented a fire hazard.  So it was often disposed of. 

Still from Doctor Who - Feast of Steven, an episode entirely lost from BBC Archives

Despite this, Doctor Who is fairly lucky compared to other series.  Firstly, fans at the time recorded the audio of each story. This means even the first ever Christmas Special – “A Feast of Stephen,” never broadcast internationally or repeated, still exists as an audio. 

Doctor Who is also lucky because of only six seasons are not complete. In addition, of those six seasons, only half are missing only episodes from one or two stories.  This allows us to get a feel for the early years of Doctor Who in a way fans of other series, like “Quatermass” and “The Avengers” aren’t able to.  And part of the reason most of these early seasons survive is due to Ian Levine.

Who is Ian Levine?

Ian Levine professionally is a songwriter and DJ.  He has written and produced records connected to such bands as Take That, Pet Shop Boys, Bananarama and Bucks Fizz. His total sales exceed 40 million records. 

He is also well known as a prominent Doctor Who fan.  There are many prominent Doctor Who fans. The series from 2004 onwards has been largely made by prominent Doctor Who fans of the 70’s and 80’s.  Many of these fans contribute to Doctor Who in official ways.  For instance, many older fans have written books, or audio plays.  All three showrunners for the modern series would be considered prominent fans from the nineties.  For Ian Levine, his main contribution is seeking to find and restore missing episodes of Doctor Who.

This work started in 1978 where Levine reportedly requested the permanent halting of old episodes of Doctor Who.  At the time the idea of home video was being considered, leading to more reasons to keep old film.  Levine also claimed to have rescued the first ever Dalek story from being sent into a furnace. Following this, he began purchasing private copies of the remaining stories, and attempting to return them to the BBC. 

Album cover for charity single "Doctor In Distress"

He also connected with the Doctor Who Production Team of the eighties in other ways.  This included composing the theme tune for the spin-off series “K-9 and Company”, and the protest/charity album “Doctor In Distress.” His was also consulted about continuity during seasons eighteen to twenty-two. 

However, he also gained a notorious reputation as obsessive in an unappealing way.  During the 1985 Doctor Who hiatus, Levine was encouraged by Producer Jon Nathan-Turner to use protest the decision.  Levine argued against the decision on television, and smashed his television with a hammer, and inviting newspapers to photograph it. 

So he is fan who has both done great things, but also sought notoriety and negative attention. 

Animated reconstruction of "Mission to the Unknown"

More recently, Levene has worked with animating missing or incomplete episodes. This started in 2010 with “Mission to the Unknown.” This was not allowed to be shared or sold due to it being made without BBC authorization.  In 2013, Ian hired an animated reconstruction of the unfinished story “Shada.” This version used pre-existing footage and new audio to create a finished product he hoped could be licensed.  However, the BBC chose not to. Instead they made their own animated version that was released four years later.

Sale
Doctor Who: Shada
  • Join the Doctor (Tom Baker), Romana (Lalla Ward), and K-9 (voiced by David Brierley) as a visit to a Time Lord living incognito on Earth leads to a desperate race to a distant prison planet
  • A BBC strike halted filming of this never-broadcast Baker six-episode serial written by “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” author Douglas Adams
  • Christopher Neame, Victoria Burgoyne co-star

Last update on 2025-03-16 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

Subsequently, Levine made comments regarding Jodie Whittaker as the first female Doctor which were deemed by many to be sexist.  Levine responded by publicly quitting the fandom, though later created his own private Doctor Who Facebook group.

This group has now become the location where his AI recreations he has funded and received donations for are shared.

The Doctor Who AI Reconstructions – How to Access

The Facebook Page: “Ian Levine’s Facebook Group” requires an agreement to two questions to join.  Firstly, you must agree to respect the right to criticize Jodie Whittaker. Secondly, you must recognise this is Ian Levine’s group for sharing his opinions on Doctor Who.  Agree to all this, and you’re allowed in.

A screenshot from the Doctor Who AI reconstruction of The Massacre

Inside the group, Levine has shared around twenty videos. This includesall of “The Dalek Masterplan,” “The Massacre,” and “The Savages.” However for the remainder, you must make a donation of fifty pounds, to become a contributor to the series. 

Once your donation is confirmed, you are authorized to join the separate contributors group, for contributors only.  This is where all the current videos being made are released.

Except…. None of these videos are unavailable privately.  Ian Levine has placed them all on Youtube.  They are unlisted, so they cannot turn up in either a Google or YouTube search. However, if you have a direct link or URL to them, they are accessible to everyone.  Unlike other systems like Patreon which restrict content to only certain subscribers, nothing stops these links being shared elsewhere.

And of course, these links are shared.  In response, Levine has issued threats and warnings against other Facebook groups and leakers trying to destroy his vision.  In his group, people support him and join in denouncing those who criticize his work or mock it.  People outside the group in response denounce Ian Levine and his supporters. 

One thing I hate about internet culture is the push for tribalism. This is the idea we are joined in a selective tribe and must fight the rivals to connect.  Over time the views become more strict in supporting your own tribe, and rejecting the opposition, and the middle ground is lost.

In the case of Ian Levine’s group, this is best shown by the view of alternative animations of missing Doctor Who stories.  All of these are seen as not as good as Levine’s AI reconstructions. Levine’s reconstructions are seen as the only correct way Doctor Who is meant to be. 

Initially Ian Levine’s AI project aimed to complete the ten missing stories not completed by the BBC. The initial project recognised the slow time it took to animate missing stories, and focused on stories that were difficult and costly to animate with people. Very soon after, however, Levine denounced many of the prior animations as “Silly Scooby Doo Cartoons.” The project was quickly extended to include stories previously animated by the BBC.  Levine’s argument appears to be Levine’s objections to story changes animation had included. These included adding a surprise image of the Master in “Fury from the Deep”, prior to his debut appearance.  Given Levine’s history of making things for the BBC, with the hope the BBC would license them, there have been rumours Levine initially was hoping the BBC would license some of his AI recreations, which has not come to pass. 

Levine presents his animations as the most authentic way to view the missing episodes. Therefore appreciation of official animated reconstructions are not allowed.  A poster saying they enjoyed the animated version of “The Celestial Toymaker,” was informed by Levine tht anyone who enjoyed the animation was unwelcome.  Common responses of new animations being announced are people accusing the BBC of ruining another story.  When Levine had a fault pointed out in one of his stories by Frazer Hines, who played the second Doctor’s companion, Jamie, Levine’s first response was to accept that the animation had limitations, but insisted it was still better than any animation the BBC has made.  Most of all, posters all reinforce the message that AI reconstructions are the true version of the lost stories and the BBC are fools for not paying for them.

Doctor Who – The Celestial Toymaker [DVD]
  • The Celestial Toymaker sees the Doctor and his companions separated when they come up against the Toymaker
  • While the Doctor plays the Trilogic Game, Steven and Dodo are forced to play their own seemingly childish, but ultimately dangerous games, with the aim of being reunited and getting back to the TARDIS
  • Who will be the first to make a false move in this battle of wits, and will the TARDIS ever escape the Toymaker’s snare Fans of Doctor Who have long lamented the loss of the original 1966 master recordings of all except one of The Celestial Toymaker

Last update on 2025-03-16 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

In response to this, or provoking this, depending on your point of you, external Facebook groups and YouTube channels are highly critical of the AI reconstructions.  Some videos see them as threats, preventing the BBC from every investing in animation involving real people.  Some hav dismissed the project as a scam.

So with such strong opinions on both sides, it’s time to actually watch them.

The AI Reconstructions

Screenshot from the AI Reconstruction of The Dalek Masterplan

My first response on watching is they’re not that bad, but they’re not that good.  Animation varies wildly in quality from story to story, making it hard to tell an overall trend towards or away from quality.  However there are some good examples of how to recreate a story.  “The Massacre” and “The Dalek Masterplan” for instance are incredible to watch.  “The Savages” on the other hand is laughingly bad. 

I chose to mostly focus on the stories not yet officially animated, so as to judge these stories by their own merit rather than compare to other animated versions of the same stories.  However, it’s interesting the similarities that occur between the official animations and AI reconstructions.  Non human characters (Particularly Daleks) look and move great, but people largely do not. 

Animating People

Across most forms of Missing episode recovery, whether AI or human drawn, the difficulty is always animating people to show emotions and movement.  Many of the official BBC animations often leave characters looking like stick figures bobbing up and down. 

However one of the key things the official reconstructions provide is consistency.  A human being develops a pre-existing model for characters, and because of this, these characters stay consistent over time.  

AI on the other hand appears to forget things, or lose focus unless properly guided.  People’s faces can change dramatically from shot to shot to the point, as in “The Savages” characters can be unrecognizable.  This means, unlike with official animations, I often had to follow a story summary to figure out what was going on. 

AI also forgets smaller things that make people seem human.  In “The Highlanders” for instance the Doctor’s companion Polly does not blink for most of episode one, despite being in shot.  This is a small detail, but throws the story into the uncanny valley – characters involve look like people but they feel wrong based on how they act. 

William Hartnell as the Abbot of Amboise in the Doctor Who AI Reconstruction of "The Massacre"

Movement is a struggle for all reconstructions because human movement is difficult to animate.  Once again, “The Massacre” demonstrates small examples of movement than seem fluid, particularly in the first episode.  “The Savages” on the other hand has main characters seemingly to perform scissor jump spread legged when the script call on them to walk. 

How the animation occurs

William Hartnell's farewell for Susan - frequently used as a source clip for reconstructions

Having watched many of these animations, some of means AI generated these reconstructions became clearer.  A lot of these animations, especially some of the later ones, do not actually generate much new material, instead using existing material in different ways.  The First Doctor saying goodbye to Susan in the TARDIS, from Episode 6 of the Dalek Invasion of Earth, for instance is frequently re-used. This scene is redubbed multiple times in the reconstructions, when a missing story needs a scene of William Hartnell standing alone in the TARDIS.

Another method is using the telesnaps, and slightly animating the mouth and face.  This creates a sense of fluidity and movement, but a very limited one.  This is particularly noticeable in the Space Pirates. The resconstructions rely on switching between static photos of one cast member with mouths moving.  On the one hand, this is no worse than the telesnaps, but the telesnaps were aware of their limitations, so often would use narration or subtitles to fill the gaps.  However these reconstructions are presented as the most life like renditions of the missing episodes. As the original story did not have subtitles or narration, therefore, they are not allowed. As a result the story is incomprehensible. 

Benefit – it exists

But despite the complaints, there is a significant benefit in these reconstructions.  And that’s the fact that they exist. 

Currently nine missing stories have not been officially animated by the BBC.  I would love for all missing stories to be animated. However, the reality is most of the stories remaining might be too costly to animate. 

Of the nine stories, six are pure historicals – stories with no science fiction elements apart from the TARDIS and its crew.  These stories tended to have a larger number of human characters than stories with monsters, and a human being with their range of emotions is harder to animate than a Dalek. 

Historicals also tend to have more detailed and complex scene change. A story in the future can replicate cold, grey corridors throughout a space colony. Historicals however must recreate significant locations in the world at particular times in history. Having to recreate 15th century France, for instance, is made up of multiple distinct locations. This makes historical stories more time consuming and therefore costly to animate.  Therefore, despite stories being reanimated for almost twenty years now, the total number of historical episodes animated have been two – both missing episodes of the Reign of Terror.

For the remaining three stories, the limited human cast and isolated space station locations makes Wheel in Space relatively simple to animate.  The Space Pirates, may also be animated as the story focusing mostly on space ships should make some aspects of the design easier to manage.

That just leaves The Dalek Masterplan¸ a massive twelve episode story, with a one episode prequel, where the Daleks chase the Doctor throughout time and space.  The cast is huge, and while it is not a historical, the story would require animated sets of ancient Egypt during the building of the pyramids.  None of this would be easy to do on the current BBC animation budget. 

Therefore, it appears of the remaining nine missing stories, only two are highly likely to be animated. 

And this is where AI can play a role.  As AI does not rely much people, it means the costs to recreate a story like the Dalek Masterplan is significantly easier and cheaper than hiring a production studio to make it.  While the end result is not as good as a professionally animated episode, for stories where hiring professional animations is not feasible, this is one way for people to observe a version of a story we otherwise cannot access. 

Ultimately the frustrating thing about these reconstructions is they’re not allowed to be what they are.  If they were simply an attempt to make otherwise lost stories more accessible, without any pretention or idea of superiority they would be fine.  There are no shortages of fan made reconstructions, which vary in quality, but are all warmly received because they don’t pretend to be more than fan made animations. They are no better or worse than any other reconstructions.

If Levine’s reconstructions were presented with the same humbleness, the response would be more positive.  If Leveine would present it as a project, and be accepting of others not needing to accpet them, there would be less retaliation online. But they aren’t presented as a fun way to view a loss episode. The reconstructions are presented as the only correct way to view the stories, superior than any other effort.  In fact, he considers the stories no longer lost due to his AI reconstructions.

But by doing so, he puts the reconstructions on a pedestal of perfection.  But they aren’t perfect, not by a long shot. By Leveine presenting these as perfect, he ultimately encourages people to notice how they are lacking by comparing to perfection.  In comparison, more humble attempts of reconstruction, by presenting themselves as not the best, encourage people to notice what they do right.

So, try to enjoy the reconstructions for what they are.  Some are surprisingly good – especially The Dalek Masterplan and The Massacre, and it’s a chance to see stories animated that you may not get to see animated elsewhere.  But try to filter out all the rhetoric about how amazing and perfect they should be, and just enjoy them as they are.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

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