Published in September 2024, Don’t Eat the Pie is a debut novel from author Monique Asher. Reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby, this story delivers on so many tropes it is doubtful that anyone will not find something to like within its pages. It is not only tropes that Asher has gone to town with. Don’t Eat the Pie is also a mishmash of horror sub-genres that somehow works without being obvious. Southern gothic, supernatural, cult, body horror; it’s all served up here.

The Plot.

Newlyweds Sam and Ben’s idyllic honeymoon is cut short when Ben’s elderly mother, Nadine, suffers a fall. The couple and Sam’s teenage daughter, Emma, relocate to Ben’s childhood home to care for her.

Ben’s mother, lives on the exclusive Camillia Island. A secluded haven of wealth and privilege, accessible only by a creaky drawbridge. Things are smooth at first but both mother and daughter begin to notice some peculiar occurrences: mysterious men in pink shirts, overheard whispers, and a strange aftertaste from a seemingly innocent dessert.

As the days pass, the island’s tranquillity is shattered by increasingly bizarre events. The once-familiar landscape transforms transforms and the true identities of the island’s residents remain shrouded in secrecy. Sam and Emma find themselves entangled in a web of intrigue, questioning their own connection to the island’s dark past. As the stakes rise, Sam and Emma must uncover the truth about Camillia Island and its inhabitants before it’s too late.

Highlights.

The way Asher has built this plot is genius. The abundance of tropes might leave readers assuming predictability. However, red herrings sprinkled throughout the chapters will leave you guessing but never quite certain who is friend and who is foe until the final chapters.

The way that Asher depicts the natural elements on Camillia Island is also worth mentioning as a highlight. Nature plays a big role in this plot and I confidently say that it is a character in its own right. It is not only the ubiquitous snakes and crows encroaching on the inhabited spaces that lend a sinister feeling.  The descriptions of the ocean surrounding the island, the vines and flowers that grow around the houses and even the scents permeating the breeze all combine to create a single force that drives the plot to its conclusion.

Drawbacks.

Don’t Eat the Pie is told through the alternating points of view of Samantha and her daughter Emma. This has become a popular way to narrate a story and I understand that it gives the writer a way to reveal information to the reader while still keeping specific characters in the dark. The problem is that if the voices are not distinct enough it can become confusing to differentiate who is telling the story, even if this is specified at the beginning of each chapter. This was the problem I encountered; Sam and Emma are so similar that I spent a lot of time turning back to the chapter headings to check who was telling the story at each point.

The Final Take.

I loved this story.

Don’t Eat the Pie has something for every horror reader. A Southern gothic, supernatural, occult, familicide, body horror… I could go on.

This was so close to the 5 out of 5 rating. It only missed out due to the alternating points of view causing some confusion because they were too similar.

(4.5 / 5)

It happened. It finally happened. We got another good episode of American Horror Stories.

The story

We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.

We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.

Not like she’s happy about it.

Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.

Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.

While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.

What worked

I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.

I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.

Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.

Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.

Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.

While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.

All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.

There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.

(5 / 5)

The Substance is 2024’s body horror film that does not exhale until it’s final scene. It is a saturated and gory creation from French writer-director Coralie Fargeat, the creator of the 2018 movie Revenge. Fargeat created The Substance’s from her own personal experiences with body dysmorphia and unmet societal expectations. To be a woman or woman-presenting is to have one’s entire autonomy challenged and dissected. The Substance uses satire and classic movie references — ranging from Kubrick to Hitchcock — to dramatize female aging a one big body horror.

You Can’t Escape from Yourself

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) turns 50 and is no longer relevant to a world that once loved her. Her boss, Harvey (Dennis Quaid), fires her from her long-running aerobic TV show and crudely decides to go with someone younger, all while shoving fish in his mouth. A breaking point comes when Elisabeth is in a near-fatal car accident after being distracted by construction workers tearing her face off a billboard. When she gets back home from the hospital, she realizes a young male nurse slipped a USB drive labeled THE SUBSTANCE in her pocket with a note that reads “It changed my life.” After a moment of reflection and realizing she is something of a has-been, Elisabeth decides to sign up for the Substance.

The Substance, much like Fargeat’s Revenge, relies heavily on visuals. The characters rarely speak, instead conveying their thoughts through their body language. The male gaze is its own character in the predominately male-casted film; exposition is conveyed through the character’s actions more than their words.

In one dialogue-free scene, Elisabeth is about to go on a date, but cannot stop fretting over her appearance. She looks at her younger self, Sue (Margaret Qualley), whose perfect body and makeup and hair and face only add to the turmoil. Several times, Elisabeth redoes her makeup, changes her outfit, then exasperatedly wipes her makeup and tears off her lashes, ultimately missing the date. Elisabeth sits on her bed, alone, captive by her insecurities. It is a quandary that drags her down a rabbit hole of self-destruction and hatred. This scene is particularly heartbreaking, because rather than being satirical and disgusting like the rest of the film, it is honest and real.

Elisabeth, in a desperate attempt to treat herself with love, only hates herself more.

Bring On the Practical Effects

The Substance is a practical effects and sound design goldmine. From the birth of Sue to Elisabeth’s devolution to the climactic Monstro Elisasue, makeup and prosthetics are the key to the movies shock value. Makeup artist Pierre-Olivier Persin and his team used an array of materials like plastic and silicone models to bring the Substance’s gruesome side effects to life. Practical effects are noticeably becoming more common in modern horror movies again; Terrifier 3 and Smile 2 are recent popular examples of such. Practical effects add an impact of surprise and awe, that, let’s face it, CGI does not produce. CGI is of course an impressive and important medium in movie making, but had Fargeat decided to go with CGI over practical, The Substance would have been an entirely different and less entertaining viewing experience.

Is The Substance a Feminist Horror Movie?

Feminism in horror is a concept that will continuously be examined and theorized, especially when the film is created by a woman. If you look at the script and cast of The Substance, one can view it as a feminist horror movie. But it is important to keep in mind that the movie is very, very white. Of course, no artistic medium will please or include everyone. But it is worth noting that The Substance‘s approach to female aging and womanhood is specifically a white perspective, about white womanhood and white aging. There are Black and POC actors in the movie, but they are either minor characters or men or silent extras. The fact that Elisabeth, Sue and Harvey are all rich, cishet, white characters is not unnoticeable.

Another interesting aspect of the film is its refusal to indicate a specific time period. The internet evidently does not exist, but everyone uses iPhones. Aerobic TV shows are prominent and Harvey’s office looks like it was decorated by an 80’s interior designer. This could either be a simple filmmaking mistake or a metaphor for the timeless degradation of women’s bodies. Whatever time period the film takes place, The Substance proves that, even though being a woman often sucks, white women historically have reached success faster and easier than marginalized women (e.g. Sue immediately lands a role for a new TV show mere moments after her incarnation from Elisabeth’s spine). Is Fargeat’s new movie horror? Yes. Is it political? Definitely. Is it feminist? Yes and no. But that does not make the movie any less worth of a watch.

The Verdict

The Substance is a deeply personal body horror. It picks apart the expectations that come with femininity and aging, then twists it into an amalgamation of terror, quick cuts and uncomfortable closeups, sprinkled with body mutations and all the perverted men you could dream up. Elisabeth and Sue are over-the-top, but honest, illustrations of the damage resulting from generations of men controlling women’s autonomy. It is visually stunning and saturated, and the practical effects are pure fun. The Substance, from beginning to end, is a gnarly body horror absolutely worth the watch. (4 / 5)