Haunted MTL is continuing the tradition of telling spooky stories for summer… Here are some new twisted tales to tell around the campfire… Kicking it off is Campfire Stories by Jennifer Weigel.
Ed, Dirk, Kaya and Jean warmed themselves around the campfire, telling spooky stories. The start to their camping excursion was unmemorable. It had rained all week and pitching the tents was a challenge with all the mud, but it was the weekend now. There was plenty of beer and hot dogs and S’Mores and so on, and they’d managed to get a campfire going with dry wood, old newspaper, and those chunky not-chicken nugget firestarters they had purchased at the gas station convenience mart on the way. So all was as it should be. There they were, just hanging out, sitting around the campfire and shooting the shit with their best buds.
The full moon hung heavy in the sky, wispy tendrils of clouds occasionally obscuring the rust orange hues that flickered about its lower bulge in the atmospheric dust. Dirk had just finished telling a werewolf story as the faint baying of a hound echoed in the distance. He took a long drag off of the joint he held aloft in his right hand and took in his surroundings. The grounds were pretty much empty after all of the rain and there were no other camping parties to speak of. Someone was set up three or four sites down the river, but he more or less appeared to be a transient minding his own business just trying to get by and stay dry, not out partying for the weekend.
Ed popped another marshmallow on a silver spear and plunged it into the fire to set ablaze. It crackled and popped as the outside charred to black soot. He turned it to sear the surface evenly, black ash giving way to molten white lava blistering forth from within. Ed sandwiched the burnt husk oozing white between two squares, one graham cracker and one cheap chocolate, and tossed it in his mouth to consume in a sloppy sticky gulp.
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“This is the life,” he quipped, mumbling while half-chewing, a satisfied smile creeping across his lips as he speared another marshmallow to start the process anew.
“For sure,” Jean agreed, snuggling closer to Kaya under the wool blanket that they shared, their hands delicately and discreetly darting about some rather provocative personal locales out of sight of prying eyes. Not that Ed or Dirk cared, the girls could do whatever they liked. Ed found it kind of a turn on for all that he would never so boldly admit it as to insult his friends – he knew full well he wasn’t their type and they were both already spoken for, each to their own, anyway.
Dirk’s left hand poked at the smoldering fire with a stick to enliven it a little and embarked on telling a new narrative of suspense, of a group of lost campers who were picked off one by one by a serial killer who stalked the woods with hook. Or was it a machete? Or a large axe? He eyed the lone camper several sites away trying to discern if he had any such belongings to build a story upon. It made no difference anyway; Dirk had spun a similar yarn three narratives before while they sat around the fire skewering marshmallows in essentially the exact same fashion as they were now. His words all spilled into one another like a hodgepodge of harrowing horror from one twisted tale to another. Between fables, he would pause for a long toke before continuing to the next.
The boundless bag of marshmallows continued to be speared one at a time and flash fried in the fire only to find themselves one by one making their final journey down Ed’s cavernous gullet. Dirk told story after story as werewolves, ghosts, serial killers, supernatural phenomena and other horrors wove in and out of the smoke filled air. The girls continued to cuddle together under the blanket, wrapped up in their own little world. The fire blazed on into the night.
Dirk paused for a moment as if crafting further suspenseful lulls in his myth-mongering while taking in something close by to work with. He took another hit and looked around. Everything was still exactly as it should be. It was the picture perfect camping trip. Nothing, absolutely nothing, had changed. He poked at the fire quizzically. It burned on as it had been, smoldering without extinguishing itself or burning too hot and blazing out. Ed popped another S’More in his mouth, still clutching the nearly full bag of marshmallows.
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“What’s happening?” Dirk asked.
“What do you mean?” Ed responded He speared another marshmallow and set it into the fire, turning it to be equally ravaged by flame, before drawing two and two together, “Oh wait, is this the start of another tale of supernatural suspense?” He threw his chest out a bit and boomed in that old-school voiceover narrative, “What you are about to see and hear defies explanation, for mankind cannot comprehend the truly terrible, the uncanny unknown, the rare ramifications of…”
“No,” Dirk replied. “Something’s… well… not quite right. It’s, it’s like we’re on pause.”
“Pause?” Jean quipped.
“Yeah,” Dirk answered. “Like everything is just staying the same. You two… Ed… me… the campfire story… the fire.” He looked around. “It’s all just so… consistent.” Dirk’s gaze came to rest on Ed, “How many marshmallows have you eaten?”
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Ed glanced at the bag and spoke through a glob of sugary gooeyness, “I dunno. Three or four.”
“Dude, you’ve been eating those things all night one after another like they’re going out of style,” Dirk looked taken aback. “You’re going to turn into Stay-Puff at that rate. Like seriously.”
“Well, I’m sorry Mr. Who’s-Keepin-Track-Anyway…” Ed rebuffed “What’s it matter? You want one? Well, you can totally have one. I’m not stopping you.” He held the bag aloft.
“No, it’s not that,” Dirk said. “It’s just… that bag should be gone by now. And the fire and… It’s all just so static.”
Jean thought a moment and said, “Maybe we were all killed by that mass murderer at Campsite Whatever-the-Hell.” She gestured towards the transient loner before continuing, “And this is what Heaven is, just sitting here around the campfire with our best buds.”
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“There’s no place I’d rather be,” interjected Kaya as she nuzzled up to Jean.
“Heaven… Hell… Whatever…” Ed said as he popped another burnt marshmallow S’More in his mouth. “I think the difference between the two is just in what you make of it.”
“Maybe,” Dirk said, still eyeing the surrounding woods suspiciously. He studied the roll of gently smoking pot-filled paper in his hand. It hadn’t changed either. He continued pensively, “Even a good trip’ll turn bad if you’re on it too long.”
“I don’t think it makes any difference,” Jean exclaimed. “I’m here. I’m happy. That’s all that matters right now.”
“Amen, Sister,” Kaya giggled.
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The group sat in silence for awhile. They seemed to gain a little more clarity of their circumstances as they studied their surroundings. The full rust-tinged moon continued to hang heavy in the sky, slightly obscured by very occasional wispy clouds. Their far neighbor continued to mind his own business. The fire continued to blaze along. The bag of marshmallows continued to remain mostly full despite Ed’s ravenous attack upon it. Nothing really changed. Everything just kept going.
Dirk looked again at his joint, snubbed it out, and put it in his pocket for later. “Guess we best just make the most of it, then,” he said as he grabbed a marshmallow and skewered it to plunge into the fire.
“That’s the spirit,” Ed smiled, teeth white and black with marshmallow goo.
Dirk started in on another twisted tale, of a group of friends finding themselves in limbo, forever lost to the flickering light of a smoldering campfire, roasting S’Mores and telling scary stories…
Jennifer Weigel is a multi-disciplinary mixed media conceptual artist residing in Kansas USA. Weigel utilizes a wide range of media to convey her ideas, including assemblage, drawing, fibers, installation, jewelry, painting, performance, photography, sculpture, video and writing. You can find more of her work at:
https://www.jenniferweigelart.com/
https://www.jenniferweigelprojects.com/
https://jenniferweigelwords.wordpress.com/
This time on Nightmarish Nature, in honor of Thanksgiving, we’re exploring scads of scat! And not just because of the aftermath of all that eating we’re going to be doing, given that everything that goes in must come out eventually. But because turkeys are weird.
But, how weird?
Apparently, the shape and size of a turkey’s poop can tell you the sex and age of the bird. Male and female birds poop different shaped turds, and bigger ones with age. Your poop can’t do that, we’re pretty sure. And no, we don’t want to check, even if it does come in a whole host of rainbow colors with all the dyes in our food nowadays. Keep your weird quirks to yourself.
Fecal Fetishes
Vultures have very acidic scat that helps to keep their feet and food clean of bacteria from hopping in and around dead things. Somehow, this doesn’t seem like a step up to us, but I guess if you’re a carrion crawler you take what you can get. At least you’d know where it’s been I suppose, and that’s more than you can say for some of your long dead food sources…
Rabbits must process their food twice in order to break down the grassy matter they digest (like cows chewing cud). And so they eat their own partially digested matter, the cecotropes they produce after the first digestion. This isn’t true poop per se, that fecal matter comes after second digestion, but it does work its way through the same way.
And that brings us to koalas. They are one of only a few mammals that can eat eucalyptus leaves (and are closely related to wombats, one of the other two). Koala offspring eat their mother’s pap, which is a specialized form of poop that allows the baby to transition from nursing milk to eating solid leaves. It is green, smeary, mushy, and can get everywhere. Just like you’d expect.
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We aren’t exempt.
For all that we have learned to be poop averse, a lot of animals eat others’ scat and glean a lot of nutritional value from their detritus. It’s not just your dog raiding the cat litter box and then licking you in the face. And we humans have even fought wars over rights to seabird guano, which was used as a form of fertilizer in the late 1800s.
Anyway, that’s the scoop on poop for now. Maybe we’ll revisit this load later on, seeing as how there’s still plenty of content here.
If you’ve enjoyed this segment of Nightmarish Nature, feel free to check out some previous here:
Yeah yeah, the insects tend to get ALL the attention here on Nightmarish Nature. But honestly, this one takes the beefcake. It’s the New World Screwworm Fly, and it’s as terrifying as the name suggests. And they aren’t limited to the Americas, there is an Old World version as well, as they can be found pretty much anywhere tropical or seasonably suited.
Revolting Little Buggers
The Screwworm Fly is a parasitic fly larvae that burrows into its host to feed, named because it seems to screw deeper and deeper into the flesh over time. This process is called myiasis and do NOT look it up online, you WILL regret it. They blur those images out for very valid reasons, trust me (and not because of pornographic content). And these maggots will continue to burrow en masse, rather than staying put as a botfly larvae would.
Do Not Do an Image Search on Screwworm Myiasis, Like Seriously – You Will NEVER Unsee That
The female Screwworm fly lays her eggs on an open wound or orifice of her chosen host… And not just one egg or a couple of eggs, no – hundreds, even thousands of them. Let’s let that sink in a bit, shall we? Or screw in as it were. Although any warm-blooded animal is a prime target, cattle are a fly favorite, costing millions of head of cattle to this sick and disgusting horror annually. And if beef isn’t on the menu, Fido or even yourself might be.
The Great American Worm Wall
In fact, this particular feature here on Nightmarish Nature is so terrifying that the United States has made agreements with all of Central America, even including countries that do not generally share its interests, in order to create a “Great American Worm Wall” to prevent them from spreading back into the United States. I’m not going to go into all of the creepy and juicy details of this bizarre science fiction freak fact, you’ll just have to watch it here on Half As Interesting’s YouTube channel.
Essentially, the Worm Wall is a complicated byproduct of scientists studying radioactivity on the flies’ maturity as well as the flies’ sexual lives and using this information against them to nearly eradicate the species and banish it from much of its former range. So, Peter Parker, if you thought everyone was messing with your love life before, be glad you weren’t bitten by a radioactive Screwworm.
If you’ve enjoyed this segment of Nightmarish Nature, feel free to check out some previous here:
You’ve almost made it to the end of the finger spiders here at Haunted MTL! Because I made A LOT of unfulfilled requests for a spider out of fingers, I will continue this snarky little AI art series with NightCafe and Canva through the month of September… In case you missed out, here are the other parts of this series:
Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: hand that is a spider; spider legs as fingers; fingers becoming spider; spider all fingers.
Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders Keep Trying! Yeah, I’m sure you don’t remember being bitten. Because of the ways they warp time and space, and the natural chemical reactions involved, the AI art generated finger spiders’ bite isn’t typically felt. They are still attached to you, feeding… You have to get them off… Keep trying!
Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: spider leg fingers; spider made out of hand fingers; hand spider picking banjo; fingers as spider playing banjo.
Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders That’s All Folks! Well, I guess that’s that then. It’s been nice knowing you. Enjoy your new form. Nothing left for it but to play the banjo…
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David Davis
August 21, 2022 at 3:05 pm
Really enjoyed the atmosphere on this one. It felt a lot like sitting around a campfire.
Jennifer Weigel
August 25, 2022 at 11:12 am
Thank you. Once I wrote it I thought it would be a good lead in. It’s been a great series.