Happy Women’s Day: A List to My Monster of Choice
So, I have this inappropriate habit of answering honestly when asked a question. I’ve failed personality tests this way – multiple times. And it’s not because I’m a terrible person (it’s because I’m an awful person ahahahaha – classic gags never retire), it’s just that I give these questions thought and merit. Maybe too much thought and merit.
During one uncomfortable icebreaker at a work function, my questions were: my name (easy, it was given to me a while ago), my job (easy, it was earned), and my favorite animal. I should have said dog. Dogs are great.
I did not say dog. I said Protoceratops. But that requires an explanation, which then goes into the book by Adrienne Mayor that posits that it was the fossilized Protoceratops bones and nest/egg fragments, found by ancient Scythian nomads, that were the inspiration to the myth of the griffin. You see, the Protoceratops had a beak-like mouth, much like an eagle. The ridge was very delicate, so if it were to break apart from the head and fall near the back…
And there were about thirty people that realized too late that they had asked a mundane question that I was going to answer: honestly, painfully, specifically, and disgustingly.
So, what am I leading to?
Because Haunted MTL asked me a question…
Oh, dang. Here we go.
As part of the contributor’s profile, Parzz (and boss) asked a “simple” question: What is your monster of choice?
So, first of all – what is a monster?
Okay, no, we’re not going that far into it. I could, but I would never see life again and I would miss parts of it.
No, instead, we’re going to do something a little different. And it all has to do with identity.
Since November, I’ve been a contributor to Haunted MTL, kicking around the tufts of cult classics, newer shrugs, and beautiful hidden gems. But this month, Imma get real, kids, because this is a weird month for me. You see as I am a gender-fluid –nonono, it’s cool, come back. I barely identify as Apache helicopter or whatever Millennials, Boomers, and Zoomers are making fun of these days.
But with who I am, “monster of choice” is not an easy “tea or coffee” pick for me. Since I’m the type to write an overly-complicated essays about surfing Nazis and HIV zombies, you can see I take my horror seriously.
So, let’s explore the monsters who are the “others” of gender for this Women’s Day as I narrow down to my monster/villain of choice. Join me, won’t you?
Brain Roll Juice
Gender and horror itself are interesting elements fused together more closely than most would think. There are masculine horror icons and traits – serial, insane, sadistic, carnal. Just as there are feminine – sorrowful, vengeful, jealous, and…well, a more complex insane, shall we say?
Masculine; we have the bloodthirsty hookman, lumbering Jason, sadistic Freddy, carnal Candyman, serial Jason. Their motives are not complex. They are killers, and they kill. On the other hand (more often seen in legends) feminine icons are more personal and complex. They are La Llorona, Bloody Mary, Kuchisake-onna, banshees, and the hag/witch (Baba Yaga, the Bell Witch, and the like).
In movies, the roles can be pretty stringent – usually if a female villain/monster is introduced, she is the mate of the male – the supporting role. This is most apparent in the older films like Bride of Frankenstein, but even can be seen in films like Basketcase 2-3. They’re usually cis-gender and adhere to gender norms in one form or another.
Even in legend, monsters are generally gendered via society’s gentle nudge. Bigfoot = hairy dude. Sea creature = scaly dude. Zombie = rotting dude. Vampire = fanged dude. Loch Ness Monster = dino lady. New Jersey Devil = a devil dude into some weirdass cakes.
You get my point.
However, there are characters that fall into a more grey area, regardless of sex (very loosely: gender is how you feel, sex being the dangle or non-dangle parts). These are a few of my favorites, 7 to be precise, all taken from movies. Take note – there are some spoilers to old movies.
The List
#7 – The Blob
“You can’t say ‘the blob’. it’s…like…just a blob. It’s not anything!” Glorious Spouse, 2020
Au contraire, mon petit fermier (my French may be rusty). But, yeah, I can count the blob. Why not? Just because of its absence of sex and gender doesn’t mean that I can’t identify and add it to the list, honey-pie.
In fact, the concept of the blob, as a growing, expanding, overwhelming alien creature, is a perfect metaphor for that cool gender-fluid anxiety that sometimes hangs around. Out of control, amorphous, and just seen by other people as “icky” and untouchable. It’s gross. People don’t want to explore it, they want to avoid it, and the more you avoid it, the larger it gets. The more suffocating it becomes because it’s a weird, gross problem that just gets in the way.
And like the end of the movie, it never really goes away. It can be quiet sometimes. It can lie dormant. But it’s never really gone, and it’s never really dead.
#6 The Cenobites
I might get push-back on this one (well, maybe all of them, who knows). The cenobites have clearly defined sexes, yes, but when gender is concerned, they are fluid because gender just doesn’t matter. Some call them angels, others call them demons, but no one says that they adhere to social norms, especially not typical, standard American.
Pinhead himself is small, lithe, and femininely sleek in his costume, the only imposing parts of him are his voice and presence. The female cenobite is not portrayed as a mate, but just another vessel of their main mission – the experience. Their whole fixation is on pain/pleasure in the experience of eternity, not hierarchy or power (I’m just focusing on the first movie).
#5 Kenny from “Terror Train”
I really dig this killer on a few different levels. I mean, haven’t we all wanted, at some point in our lives, wanted to kiss Jamie Lee Curtis and then turn into a human tornado?
And I know that Kenny might get flack as a character for a few different reasons – he has problems with mental illness, he has gender identity issues, he has murdering issues. However, he is a fascinating character as all identities.
Kenny is not just male but also female, “they” are a duality as much as Jamie Lee Curtis is the duality as “the last girl”. In fact, to call her a last girl leaves something to be desired because it’s not through circumstance that she survives, but her duality of masculine and feminine traits that keep her alive and unbroken.They are both unconventional, but Kenny fails to actualize where Jamie Lee accepts. Hence, human tornado.
Anywho, there are times that I wish I could fade into different personas as quickly as Kenny, and blend in with whatever crowd that happens to be there. Especially as Snake Man.
#4 Pumpkinhead
Pumpkinhead is an interesting creature, as it is an interesting movie. It also made me feel feelings (how dare it). I’ll probably get into my P-Head love later (phrasing), but as I mentioned, this creature is interesting. Its role is very fascinating. In my intro I mentioned a few iconic horror figures – male and female. Masculine motivations tend to be gluttonous, wanton bloodlust and power over others. Mostly, stabby-stabby, kill-kill. Even Freddy, although he likes to play with his victims, it’s all a power thing.
Female figures can be stabby-stabs, but more often than not have more complex motivations for murder and mayhem. They are seeking revenge, or haunted by their bloody past. Much like this, Pumpkinhead appears as a manifestation of vengeance. And, maybe this is a stretch, as it is not even spurred its own revenge, but just a supporting figure (a tool) of someone else’s revenge, it is taking a more feminine role. Just like I mentioned many females in horror (and “normal”) movies are there only for the fact of supporting the male’s actualization and his character development. Pumpkinhead is the same. Well, apart from being a mate…
P-head is different from most villains, even “summoned” characters such as Betelgeuse. It gains no pleasure or pain from doing its work, it has only one task and has no say or agency. It has absolutely no power, nor does it seek it. It’s kind of sad, actually. It’s basically a murderous Meeseeks, but with even less agency and dignity.
#3 Angela from “Sleepaway Camp”
This one has gotten some slack over the years and I can’t speak to all sides, nor should I, I can only speak to how I feel about this character and what Angela means to me. Let’s get over the reveal, okay? Go watch it if you haven’t.
So, Angela the Killer is relatable because “she” is forced into both worlds, while belonging to neither. I also want to point out that “she” has been called trans by some, but I’m not sure if that’s even inherently correct as this was not by choice. Angela is attempting to navigate as what she/he/it believes is required of her/him/it, enduring some of the most negative aspects of being “female” (sexual harassment, bullying, predatory behavior).
The murders are a result of the culmination of the abuses Angela faces and the confusion of never being accepted as she/he/it truly is. Every time Angela begins to open up, she/he/it is again met with societal expectations and norms that she/he/it can’t adhere to, and the ultimately crushing disappointment when others can’t accept that.
I’m not saying that killing everyone was the right move…I’m just saying that I think I get it.
#2 Jaws
Jaws…Jaws is many things, all in one. It is a force of nature, a shark with a badass scar, a mother seeking revenge, a…voodoo spirit seeking revenge…Jaws itself is a strange a beautiful enigma…and also really good-bad sequels featuring beautiful Lea Thompson and not-giving-a-flip Michael Caine.
But I want to concentrate on Jaws #1. The original. One of the reasons that I love the movie (a million times more than the book) is that it’s an examination of male identity – from father/authority figure, scientist/intellectual, to…well, Quint.
But Jaws, itself, is more of a force of nature, an impending doom, than an example of masculinity. It tests their strengths. It prods their weaknesses. It is more monster than man, with only primitive motivation of survival, and perhaps, the hunt.
You could make a claim that Jaws also encompasses a more aloof masculinity, but, again in my own opinion, it is a primordial being of hunger and chaos – sex and gender are too complex for what it represents. Almost like a primeval Leviathan, rising from the bowels of the ocean to cast down the modern man.
Too bad for it that Roy Scheider was a legend, with Richard Dreyfuss on the sidelines, ready with high-fives.
And the Monster of Choice is:
#1 T-Rex from “Jurassic Park”
Here we are. Surprised? Don’t be.
Apart from being one of my favorite films (and a friendship deal-breaker if you don’t like), it has the best female villains.
They just happen to be dinosaurs…
And are also not entirely female…
It’s true. At one point, Dr. Grant finds egg shells and realizes that the dinosaurs are changing their own sex to reproduce (“life will find a way”). While this is a bit of a throw-away line to go into the greater “playing God” theme, it’s a very cool and powerful moment for the creatures themselves. In nature there are animals that can change sexes, “gender roles” and other social dynamics. It’s pointing to the fact that it’s natural. We evolve. We change as a species. It’s okay. To be stagnant is to be the death of our lineage, we must adapt. In the movie, it was the sex of the dinosaurs. For humanity, maybe it will be something akin to gender.
But just as a movie concept, and going back to monsters, that makes the T-Rex incredibly powerful. Not only did she successfully fight for her freedom from forced confinement and exploitation, she can change herself. She can become he, and vice-versa. She has that agency and choice to, which is something lacking by others on the list. She can physically alter her body and hormones by her own will, for the continuation of her lineage and legacy.
By the end, she establishes her boundaries, reclaims her own body, and asserts her own path. And if that isn’t one of the most powerful characters in cinema history, boy, I sure don’t know who is.
Episode of Dexter, Original Sin felt very much like an episode of the original series. And I mean that in the best way possible.
The story
This episode picks up where the last one left off. Dexter is coming down from his post kill high, and looking for another victim. He finds one in Tony Ferrer, a violent loan shark who murdered an innocent woman over a loan taken out by her son.
While Dexter does his due diligence, Deb deals with high school girl problems. She wants to be the captain of her volleyball team. But as with most things in high school, this is a popularity contest. To get a leg up on her opponent, she tells the team that she can score cocaine for a movie night at her house. Dexter agrees to help her if she can get Nurse Mary’s earrings back from her friend Sophia. He makes homemade cocaine with a recipe I’ll not be listing here.
Don’t do this, kids. This is how teens (and people in their twenties) die.
The episode finishes with Dexter catching his prey, first menacing the loan shark with jai alai balls. These balls move so fast that Dexter manages to cut Ferrer’s cheek in a way that will be very familiar to long-time viewers.
What is not familiar is Dexter’s means of body disposal. While I was thrilled to see Ferrer fed to the alligators (they are big swamp puppies and deserve a good meal) they don’t always eat a whole body. And part of Ferrer remains, floating to the surface. So that’s two kills so far, and two obvious pieces of evidence left behind.
What worked
This episode shone because of the attention to detail. For instance, when Masuka makes Dex a fake ID, he could have put any name there. He could have put Joseph Smith or Jack Torrance. Instead, he picks the name Patrick Bateman. Of course, this is the main character of the astounding novel American Psycho. But they also chose a famous psycho who just happens to have the same first name as our actor. It’s just that extra level of thought that makes it so much richer.
I also love, but also hate, that Deb’s friend Sophia has a crush on Dexter. She seems like a good young woman, a loyal friend to Deb, and just a kid with her head on straight. And, well, we know what happens to women who get involved with Dexter. RIP, Rita. I hate to say it, but I don’t predict that Sophia will survive the series. And that anticipation makes every scene with her in it more tense.
We were also introduced to one of the original series characters that had been missing, Maria LaGuerta.
LaGuerta was a mixed bag for me in Dexter. She was certainly using her position of power to sexually harass Dexter and abuse Deb. She also seemed more concerned with climbing the political ladder than actually helping people.
I actually loved LaGuerta’s story arc through the series, because we saw her go from this selfish, politically motivated person to someone who legitimately puts herself in harm’s way to protect people. She goes from being Deb’s personal antagonist to her pseudo-mentor. So, I am thrilled with the way she’s being portrayed in Original Sin.
Yes, LaGuerta is more than willing to jump in front of a camera and run her mouth if it’ll help her get something she wants. But what she wants is for people to actually care about victims who don’t happen to be white. What she wants is to be in a position of power so she can start changing things for the better.
Which is fantastic! I can’t wait to see what she does.
Finally, I want to shine some well-deserved light on Patrick Gibson. He must have watched every episode of Dexter as many times as I have because he has Michael C. Hall’s physical mannerisms down pat. The way he moves is so similar, it’s uncanny. And that is a wonderful touch that I cannot help but admire.
What didn’t work
The only thing I didn’t enjoy about this episode was small. In the middle of the episode, Dexter is making dinner for his family. And it’s an almost shot-for-shot rendition of the original intro.
Now, this sort of thing was clever at first. But we’re three episodes in. We can knock it off now.
So far, Dexter Original Sin has been a lot of fun. This episode exemplified why Dexter is so well-loved. A bad person suffers the consequences of his terrible actions.
And I think that’s beautiful.
(4 / 5)
Episode two of Dexter, Original Sin, was just as wonderful as the first. As a long-time Dexter fan, I find it added so much to the background of the story. And if you’re a new fan, I promise you won’t feel left behind.
The story
At the start of our episode, Dexter is learning the ropes of his new internship at Miami Metro. He’s getting a little hazing but is learning how to fit in.
Especially when he starts digging into the old files and finding new playmates for his Dark Passenger.
Meanwhile, Deb is struggling. She feels underappreciated and ignored at home. So, she decides to steal some jewelry from around the house for some quick spending money. Having little in the house in the way of jewelry, she happens upon a pair of earrings in Dexter’s room.
Nurse Mary’s earrings, to be specific.
And finally, in what will probably be the storyline for the series, a little boy is kidnapped. While he looks like a victim from the first episode of Dexter, or at least dressed in the same school uniforms, we soon find out that he’s the son of a judge. And his kidnapping might have something to do with the death of Dexter’s biological mother.
What worked
I’ve often complained about slow episodes in a TV season or mini-series. The episodes that just don’t have anything going for them. The episodes that are needed to set up the story, but otherwise are kind of dull.
This is an example of that sort of episode done well. It is true that there were no murders in this episode. There was only one dead body, and it was already dead when we got there.
But that didn’t mean the episode was uninteresting. There was character development. There was comedy. And most importantly, it had a storyline that had a satisfying conclusion. Specifically, Deb stealing Dexter’s trophy earrings and trying to sell them.
This little storyline worked on so many levels. One, it heightens tension because we know those earrings can lead the police to Dexter for the murder of Nurse Mary. Two, it shows how frustrated Deb is with her life and how far she will go to have a little fun. Three, it shows how far she won’t go when she refuses to sell her mother’s pearls. And four, it gives us a satisfying beginning, middle, and end of a story while we’re doing the necessary work of laying a foundation for the rest of the series. This was a masterclass in subplots.
I also want to point out that, so far, this series works by itself as much as it works as a prequel. I would watch Dexter Original Sin if I’d never heard the name Dexter Morgan before. And while it certainly benefits from its predecessors, it isn’t only relying on that.
What didn’t work
All that being said, I’m afraid there is still one glaring issue with this series. I hate Gellar’s character.
Yes, I am biased. But hear me out.
Tanya is supposed to be Dexter’s mentor. She got him the job as a paid intern. It would stand to reason that she did that because she wanted to take him under her wing. And yes, I am aware that a certain kind of teacher likes to knock their students down a peg or two. But she seems more interested in proving what a Strong Female she is to this college student than actually teaching him.
And frankly, this is some of the most sexist stuff I’ve ever seen on Dexter. This show has a long history of being pretty good about gender relations. It passes the Bechdel test. All of the female characters have flaws, strengths, and personalities. It’s almost like they’re, gasp, real people. None of them have been the girl hero with no personality other than being the Strong Female until Tanya was introduced. And given how similar she is to Buffy, and how unlike the rest of the cast this character is, I sense some meddling from Gellar herself.
Do better.
I am so pumped for the rest of this mini series. It is clear that everyone working on this series, except Gellar, are huge fans of the original show. Everyone is going a great job, the story is great, and I cannot wait to see what happens next.
(4 / 5)
Movies n TV
Heretic: ‘It’s a simple choice that should not be made simply: Belief or Disbelief?’
‘It’s a simple choice that should not be made simply: Belief or Disbelief?’
A24‘s chilling religious horror film, Heretic, arrived in theatres this November, forcing viewers to confront the unsettling line between faith and doubt. Directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, this edge-of-your-seat thriller will leave audiences deeply disturbed as Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East) pass over the threshold of Mr. Reed’s (Hugh Grant) home where they undergo a terrifying experience that shatters their beliefs.
The Plot.
Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton are Mormon missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As the opening scenes roll they are visiting houses in an unnamed, rural Colorado town. These houses are from a list of people who have shown interest in joining the church. After being rejected and ignored several times, they arrive at the door on Mr. Reed, a pleasant gentleman who invites them in the discuss the church, promising his wife is home in the kitchen to put the Sister’s minds at ease.
Welcoming the women to sit in his living room, Mr. Reed initiates what amounts to be an awkward conversation, questioning the faith of the missionaries. Sensing that something is amiss, with Mr. Reed’s wife still not coming to meet them and a storm brewing outside, the women decide it is time to leave. Sneaking to the front door when Mr. Reed leaves the room they find the front door locked, and the only way out is to go deeper into the strange house.
Highlights.
I have never really understood the appeal of Hugh Grant. I found him lackluster in Love Actually and just plain annoying in Bridget Jones’s Diary. After watching Heretic though I think the problem is that his career focus has been on the wrong genre. Hugh Grant is terrifying, but not in the conventional sense, in the creepy religious uncle that you only see on Boxing Day sense. It might be in the jerky way Mr. Reed walks, or the near-whispered dialogue throughout the movie. Also, whoever put Mr. Reed in those glasses is a genius, they give chilling Jeffrey Dahmer vibes.
I must also note the intense monologues that Hugh Grant delivers in Heretic. It is hard to take your eyes off him. The ideas and theories that are presented are not unknown and rather convincing. I was surprised to find myself nodding in agreement with an obviously deranged and hostile character.
Drawbacks.
It is hard to explain the main drawback of this movie without spoiling the ending, but let me try. The explanation and big reveal at the end of Heretic was a bit… on the nose. I just couldn’t hitch myself to that wagon. I understand what the writer was trying to say. That there are people who have such strong faith that they are willing to give up their lives to prove the belief true. It is the way this is presented in the plot however… I didn’t like it and wonder if there might have been another way to present this idea.
The Final Take.
Ahh, how I loved this movie. Never mind National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Krampus or Die Hard, Heretic is my new favorite Christmas film. There is nothing more to be said.
(5 / 5)
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