Notes from The Last Drive-In: S2E9
Well, that is the second season of The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs. There were no signs of a sophomore slump this season as the show iterated on the first season in a few ways. We also were treated to some really historic moments in Drive-In history, playing off of things from clear back in the days of MonsterVision.
As of this moment, The Last Drive-In season 3 has not been confirmed but I think we can afford to be optimistic. Considering the show rising up the trending algorithm all nine weeks on Twitter and the larger profile the show has built thanks to a global pandemic, Shudder would probably like to keep up the conversation and subscriptions that the show brings in.
As for the season finale? We get two visions of hell by seeing the sights of Hellbound: Hellraiser II and taking a trip and checking out Hell Comes to Frogtown.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
Opening Rant: The need for physical media in a largely corporate-curated world.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II is a worthy sequel to the original Hellraiser, previously on The Last Drive-In during the original marathon. Some would argue that the sequel may be better than the first film, and it’s not hard to imagine why. Hellraiser II was a major film that set the trajectory of the series and also presents a real lost opportunity. The film takes place moments after the previous films and finds Kirsty (sans-boyfriend) in an asylum, having been treated like a madwoman given her sharing her experiences with the Cenobites. Sure enough, her warnings go unheeded and a manipulative Dr. Channard claims the mattress where Kirsty’s evil stepmother Julia met her end. Then Julia comes back and the movie gets nuts.
It’s a good movie. A bit familiar in a number of ways. The Cenobites aren’t quite as shocking, and the Leviathan is a conceptual misfire. The asylum elements remind too easily of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors down to having a gifted patient in the mix. The Cenobites are kind of wedged in and don’t do much in order to prop up the concept of the Leviathan.
What works, though, are the performances by Clare Higgins and Julia and Ashley Laurence as Kirsty. The film is largely on the backs of these two women: a manipulative and monstrous Julia, more terrifying and assertive than Frank ever was in the first film, and shrewd and clever Kirsty who is in the upper-echelon of horror heroines who deserve way better.
Joe Bob addressed the odd and uneven nature of the movie surrounding Julia. Clive Barker intended Julia to become the major antagonistic force of the series but the Cenobites essentially stole her thunder, which is a real shame because Julia is probably one of the most compelling and interesting horror villains basically ever. One envisions another Hellraiser series in another universe where Julia remained beyond Hellbound and there becomes a dual-threat of Cenobites and Julia, fighting for control of Hell.
The highlight of Joe Bob’s host segments came down to Ashley Laurence and Doug Bradley, Kirsty, and Pinhead himself, taking time to chat with our favorite movie host. They each had a moment to speak to Joe Bob one-on-one, but they also managed to have a more delightful triad of discussion. Ashley, who can be found on Twitter, does some great painting and she got to hold Ernie (!) playing on her appearance in a GEICO commercial. Doug Bradley is wonderfully classy and doesn’t wear the Cenobite makeup lately, but he can be found reading Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein on YouTube.
Of course, we can’t forget Hell Priest Ernie, chained Joe Bob, or Cenobite Darcy, either. It was a fun night.
I love Hellbound: Hellraiser II about as much as I love the original Hellraiser. I also think about the lost opportunity of Julia driving the franchise and while I cannot hold that against the series it does present an interesting “what if?” It’s still a good sequel, maybe not the sequel the series deserved, but a good sequel regardless. Joe Bob gave the film four stars, a well-earned four stars given the potential failure a sequel presents. I give Hellbound: Hellraiser II four and a half Cthulhus.
(4.5 / 5)
Best Line: “It is not hands that summon us. It is desire.” – Pinhead
Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)
Opening Rant: Five reasons not to be a polygamist.
Ah, yes, Hell Comes to Frogtown. A slice of 1980s cheese I had always heard of but never saw. It’s a goofy film and while I don’t know if it was the best film to leave the season off with, it was totally worth watching and I am sure to check it out again, and again, and again. It’s not a movie that can be made today and elements of it are still particularly cringe-inducing, but as a relic of another era it’s completely worth preservation and The Last Drive-In seems like the perfect way to do that.
Hell Comes to Frogtown stars the legendary wrestler “Rowdy” Roddy Piper as Sam Hell, a particularly virile man who is conscripted by the provisional government to impregnate women all across the wasteland of America. He travels with a pair of these warrior-nurses to the titular Frogtown to recover a group of fertile women who have been kidnapped as sex-slaves by mutant, humanoid frogs. It’s a classic story we’ve all seen before, but have we seen it with the delightful commentary of Joe Bob Briggs? Well, we have now.
The movie’s handling of women as sexual objects and the implications of forced impregnation are pretty horrifying to modern sensibilities and the movie plays it off as a hyper-masculine joke. The film really, largely works due to the earnestly goofy performance of Roddy Piper who makes Sam Hell are largely sympathetic and funny protagonist, dipping into the well of Kurt Russel’s Jack Burton-school of bumbling heroes. Piper does get to play the hero, particularly toward the end, but the film largely plays Sam as comedic and it works all the better for it.
The film is audacious in the world it builds, largely shooting in deserts and and a run down factory, the film makes the most of the post-apocalyptic setting and that money instead goes into the largely amazing frog prosthetic pieces. Some of the frogs are more hybrid and less impressive than others, but the major feature players are absolutely incredible for 1988 and a 7-million dollar budget.
Joe Bob appreciated the pulpy energy of the film. It also helps that it featured MonsterVision fan and friend, the dearly departed Piper. Among some of the knowledge, bombs dropped on viewers are the history and work of Donald G. Jackson and some Roger Corman connections (because who else?) Joe Bob was particularly enthused, saying Donald G. Jackson was a long-overdue director on The Last Drive-In. Perhaps one of his infamous rollerblading films may show up in season three? Of course, Jackson had a long career in the industry as some of these drive-in directors tend to do, having worked with Roger Corman and James Cameron. Most notable among Jackson’s associations, however, was his collaboration with Scott Shaw and the development of what they called “Zen Filmmaking” – a largely script-less form of movie-making.
Joe Bob Briggs gave Hell Comes to Frogtown the four-star treatment which is a pretty fair assessment with how well it fits into The Last Drive-In‘s wheelhouse. It’s not my favorite choice to end the season, skewing a bit too far from the horror genre, but it’s still pretty damn fun. I give Hell Comes to Frogtown three and a half Cthulhus.
(3.5 / 5)
Best Line: “Hey, you try making love to a complete stranger in a hostile, mutant environment, see how you like it.” – Sam Hell
Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals
These are the last Drive-In totals of the season. Quite a lovely collection. Thank you, Shudder.
Our Totals?
- 174 Sequels
- 2 Jail sentences for Darcy
- 7 Roller Blade films
- 3 Frogtown Endings
- Double Guest Fu
- Censorship Fu
- Chainsaw Surgery Fu
- GEICO Fu
- Glass Bottle Fu
- Badass Name Fu
- Brain Surgery Fu
- Joe Bob Chaining
- Lament Configurating
- Demon Summoning
- Ernie Holding
- Teen Slapping
- Teeth Chattering
- Dick Beeping
- Wedding Joking
- Goopy Mattress
- Frickassied Frank
- Hellraiser Philosophy
- Gratuitous Candles
- Gratuitous Frog Burlesque
- Gratuitous emotional Joe Bob Briggs solo song
- Laser Floyd Finale
- Tactical Lingerie
- Extended Hallway Running Sequence
- Bonus Yuki Cosplay
- Silver Bolo Award: The Horrors of it All
- Darcy Cosplay: Hell Priestess Darcy
Episode Score
The season finale did the job of providing a great episode should the show continue further while also creating a potential ending should the show not move forward. While this ending wasn’t as flash as season one’s prom for Darcy, there is something touching about what we ended up getting this time around: Joe Bob Briggs, voice cracking, singing the theme accompanied by a frog guitarist.
If this is the end of the ongoing series that’s a pretty fitting coda to what has been a great treat for the horror community in an especially hard time. We know a summer marathon is on the way and more than likely we’ll be seeing a third season of the ongoing show.
But if this is the final full season, I think it went out in a really appropriate way.
(4.5 / 5)
That’s it for the Notes from The Last Drive-In for a bit. Thank you all for reading these recaps over the past nine weeks. Let me know what you think. I write these things for us and I would love to know what the MutantFam wants to see out of them.
We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.
As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.
The story
We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.
This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.
What worked
In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.
Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.
This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.
Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.
It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.
What didn’t work
I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.
I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.
All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.
(4 / 5)
If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.
Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.
The story
We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.
We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.
Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.
What worked
The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.
I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.
I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What didn’t work
That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.
Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.
Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.
Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.
There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.
(3.5 / 5)
It happened. It finally happened. We got another good episode of American Horror Stories.
The story
We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.
We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.
Not like she’s happy about it.
Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.
Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.
While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.
What worked
I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.
I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.
Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.
Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.
Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.
While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.
All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.
There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.
(5 / 5)
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