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Killer Queens, I feel like I need to add a disclaimer at the start of this review.

Yes, I said Killer Queens. No, this isn’t technically about American Horror Story. But it’s American Horror Story adjacent. And, if it wasn’t for American Horror Story, I might never have known that this book existed. 

Allow me to explain

Not long ago, we got some information about American Horror Story season 12, which is titled American Horror Story Delicate. It is based entirely, according to Ryan Murphy, on an upcoming novel called Delicate Condition. 

Delicate Condition, written by Danielle Valentine, doesn’t come out until August first. Since I couldn’t get my hands on it, I did the next best thing. I looked up Valentine’s other books to see what kind of writer she is. 

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Which is what led me to today’s review of How To Survive Your Murder

Published in 2022, How To Survive Your Murder is the story of Alice Lawrence. Alice’s older sister Claire was brutally murdered at a Halloween Party, and she was the only one who saw what happened. 

But did she see what she thought she saw?

A year after the murder Alice is the only witness in the murder trial against a young man named Owen. She’s sure she saw Owen kill Claire in the cornfield. But before she can testify, she meets someone who looks exactly like Sidney Prescott. Sidney, or as she’s later called Final Girl, sends Alice back in time to the night Claire was killed. Alice thinks she’s there to save Claire. The real motives of Final Girl are a bit more complicated. 

What worked

Honestly, most of this book worked for me. Much like Scream, which is of course heavily referenced, it’s written by a horror fan, for horror fans. There are constant references to famous horror franchises. Alice, the main character, is genre savvy. Not genre-savvy enough to keep out of trouble, though. Which is also great. If she were too clever, the book wouldn’t have any stakes.

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I also loved the way clues to the twist ending were sprinkled throughout the story. If you’re reading closely, you can almost guess the ending. I should say, you can guess about 75% of the ending. 

The character Final Girl was a stroke of genius. Having her look like Sidney Prescott was hilarious, and made sense in several different ways. It makes sense given Alice’s love of horror films. Sidney has a look that isn’t exactly original, so it makes sense that Alice wouldn’t be sure it wasn’t just someone in a costume. And, of course, Final Girl showing up as Sidney is a clue.

Everything is a clue in this book. 

But here’s the real question

I picked up How To Survive Your Murder to see how Valentine’s writing would fit in the American Horror Story world. 

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And I have to say, I’m feeling a lot better about this season. 

This book on its face might appear to be a quick fun horror read with a twist ending. And it is that. But it’s deeper than that. It asks a question of the main character, and ultimately the reader. What would you do to save someone you love? And at what point would the price to save them become too high? Or to put it another way, if you could go back in time and change something in your past, would it be a good idea?

American Horror Story also has the appearance of being a shallow good time, while encouraging deep discussions of real topics. It’s one of the things I love the most about it. About horror in general, actually. The blood, guts and screaming hotties are all good fun. But horror invites us to see the world in a way we don’t usually see it. It encourages us to see shades of gray (and red) in what we might have seen as black and white.

So if I am to judge Valentine’s ability to inspire a series of my favorite show by this book, then I have to say it’s promising. And even if it’s not, then I’m still glad I read this. It was a fun, fast book that managed to surprise me. If you get a chance, Killer Queens, you should check it out. 

By the way, American Horror Story Delicate is launching on September 19th, according to IMDB. I can’t wait to experience the new season with all of you. 

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Book Reviews

Joe Hill’s latest release, Ushers. Death is coming for us all.

“I think sometimes, once in a while, not dying brings a new clarity to a person’s life.”

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Part detective story, part meditation on death and the grim reaper, Ushers is Joe Hill’s latest release and second stand-alone short story in as many years. Released in November 2024, this thirty-page tale delves into the eerie realm of near-death experiences, exploring the blurred lines between life and death and the haunting aftermath of miraculous escapes.

The Plot.

Ushers is divided into two interviews. In the first, we meet with special agents John Oates and Daryl Duvall. The two interview a young man, Martin Lorensen, who seems to be one lucky kid. You see Martin has avoided death not once, but twice. The derailment of Mohawk 118 is central to their investigation; Martin had a ticket but didn’t get on the train. The other was a school shooting at Kennedy High School; Martin didn’t attend school that day. The special agents question whether this luck is culpability. Is Martin responsible for these events and the lives that were lost? Martin says no, but it is soon revealed that he knows a little more than he is letting on.

Highlights.

Joe Hill knows his way around a short story. His pacing and timing are second to none. There wasn’t a moment during Ushers that I wasn’t captivated by what was unfolding.
This is not the first time that Hill has dealt with themes of death. We’ve met Ig Perrish in Horns and Judas Coyne in Heart-Shaped Box just to name two. This is though the first time that Hill has considered the inevitability of death and he has handled this weighty theme so beautifully. One of the quotes I pulled from this short story is going to stay with me for a long time. “Be a mammal. Eat as much fresh fruit as you can. Send some time in the trees. Hug the people you love. Accept that death is as natural as the rest of life.” (Hill, Ushers) Good advice for us all.

Drawbacks.

I’m a stickler for playing by the rules and weighing up the good and bad of everything. But I’m going against my greater instincts here and telling you there were no drawbacks in this short story. Haters come at me, but I can’t find anything to complain about.

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The Final Take.

It is rumored that “Ushers” was intended for a short story anthology that was ultimately canceled. I’m really glad that Hill went ahead and released this one as a stand-alone. Fingers crossed that Hill’s upcoming novel is on par with Ushers. This short story is currently free to read for Prime and Kindle Unlimited members. Buyer beware, the last line is a stinger!

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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Book Reviews

Review: Don’t Eat the Pie, Monique Asher’s delicious trope fest.

“Real monsters are people, and I’ve seen them”

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Published in September 2024, Don’t Eat the Pie is a debut novel from author Monique Asher. Reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby, this story delivers on so many tropes it is doubtful that anyone will not find something to like within its pages. It is not only tropes that Asher has gone to town with. Don’t Eat the Pie is also a mishmash of horror sub-genres that somehow works without being obvious. Southern gothic, supernatural, cult, body horror; it’s all served up here.

The Plot.

Newlyweds Sam and Ben’s idyllic honeymoon is cut short when Ben’s elderly mother, Nadine, suffers a fall. The couple and Sam’s teenage daughter, Emma, relocate to Ben’s childhood home to care for her.

Ben’s mother, lives on the exclusive Camillia Island. A secluded haven of wealth and privilege, accessible only by a creaky drawbridge. Things are smooth at first but both mother and daughter begin to notice some peculiar occurrences: mysterious men in pink shirts, overheard whispers, and a strange aftertaste from a seemingly innocent dessert.

As the days pass, the island’s tranquillity is shattered by increasingly bizarre events. The once-familiar landscape transforms transforms and the true identities of the island’s residents remain shrouded in secrecy. Sam and Emma find themselves entangled in a web of intrigue, questioning their own connection to the island’s dark past. As the stakes rise, Sam and Emma must uncover the truth about Camillia Island and its inhabitants before it’s too late.

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Highlights.

The way Asher has built this plot is genius. The abundance of tropes might leave readers assuming predictability. However, red herrings sprinkled throughout the chapters will leave you guessing but never quite certain who is friend and who is foe until the final chapters.

The way that Asher depicts the natural elements on Camillia Island is also worth mentioning as a highlight. Nature plays a big role in this plot and I confidently say that it is a character in its own right. It is not only the ubiquitous snakes and crows encroaching on the inhabited spaces that lend a sinister feeling.  The descriptions of the ocean surrounding the island, the vines and flowers that grow around the houses and even the scents permeating the breeze all combine to create a single force that drives the plot to its conclusion.

Drawbacks.

Don’t Eat the Pie is told through the alternating points of view of Samantha and her daughter Emma. This has become a popular way to narrate a story and I understand that it gives the writer a way to reveal information to the reader while still keeping specific characters in the dark. The problem is that if the voices are not distinct enough it can become confusing to differentiate who is telling the story, even if this is specified at the beginning of each chapter. This was the problem I encountered; Sam and Emma are so similar that I spent a lot of time turning back to the chapter headings to check who was telling the story at each point.

The Final Take.

I loved this story.

Don’t Eat the Pie has something for every horror reader. A Southern gothic, supernatural, occult, familicide, body horror… I could go on.

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This was so close to the 5 out of 5 rating. It only missed out due to the alternating points of view causing some confusion because they were too similar.

4.5 out of 5 stars (4.5 / 5)

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Book Reviews

Graveyard Shift, the new novella by M. L. Rio, was the 7 year wait worth it?

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After her 2017 debut novel, If We Were Villains, captivated readers and skyrocketed to Tik Tok fame readers have been holding their collective breath for anything from M. L. Rio. Seven years later we are presented with Graveyard Shift, another dark academic horror, though a novella this time around. The question is, was it worth the wait and why are readers split in their reactions to this story?

The Plot.

In the opening scene of Graveyard Shift readers encounter five people who often meet in a graveyard on smoke breaks from their various nocturnal jobs.

 On the night in question, they discover a freshly dug hole near where they regularly gather. This sounds unremarkable until they realize that no one has been interred in this graveyard for over one hundred years. With the mystery revealed each character returns to their night, each eager to find the purpose of the hole.

Highlights.

Writing a novella that includes the viewpoints of five main characters is a considerable feat. Despite allowing only two chapters for each character in the entire story M. L. Rio successfully juggles these viewpoints without dropping any balls. From the driven editor-in-chief Edie Wu to the enigmatic Tuck. Each character possesses a distinct voice and plays a crucial role in unraveling the mystery. Whether it’s the insomniac ride-share driver Hannah or the bartender at Rocker Box. Each character stands apart, making this novella a compelling read.

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Another highlight of this novella is that this is not just another horror novel claiming to be dark academia because it’s set in or near a university. This story is soaked in the academic and the dark side of medical research.

Drawbacks.

The length of this story really went against M. L. Rio, there was so much expectation and hype around its release that when the 100-odd-page story was delivered there were many sighs of disappointment.

And it is not just reader expectation that caused the length to work against her. It must be said that the complexity of the story and the depth that Rio goes to to set up each character would have benefited from being rounded out by another, let’s say 200 pages. The last chapters seem rushed and the ending is ambiguous to say the least, but not in a good way.

I read this on a Kindle and was confused by the story ending at 85%, then slightly angry that the remaining pages were filled by a playlist, an excerpt of If We Were Villains and cocktail recipes??? Although I usually enjoy this type of extra content in fiction, I think Rio’s time might have been better spent writing a few more chapters.

The Final Take.

I approached Graveyard Shift with high expectations, but was ultimately disappointed. While the novel’s form, with its focus on multiple perspectives, initially drew me in, the abrupt and unsatisfying conclusion left me wanting more. Presenting this story as a novella did not do justice to the characters of the story. The mystery of the empty grave was intriguing, and following each character through their nocturnal routines was enjoyable. However, the rushed ending undermined the overall experience.

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2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

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