Review: Don’t Eat the Pie, Monique Asher’s delicious trope fest.
“Real monsters are people, and I’ve seen them”
Published in September 2024, Don’t Eat the Pie is a debut novel from author Monique Asher. Reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby, this story delivers on so many tropes it is doubtful that anyone will not find something to like within its pages. It is not only tropes that Asher has gone to town with. Don’t Eat the Pie is also a mishmash of horror sub-genres that somehow works without being obvious. Southern gothic, supernatural, cult, body horror; it’s all served up here.
The Plot.
Newlyweds Sam and Ben’s idyllic honeymoon is cut short when Ben’s elderly mother, Nadine, suffers a fall. The couple and Sam’s teenage daughter, Emma, relocate to Ben’s childhood home to care for her.
Ben’s mother, lives on the exclusive Camillia Island. A secluded haven of wealth and privilege, accessible only by a creaky drawbridge. Things are smooth at first but both mother and daughter begin to notice some peculiar occurrences: mysterious men in pink shirts, overheard whispers, and a strange aftertaste from a seemingly innocent dessert.
As the days pass, the island’s tranquillity is shattered by increasingly bizarre events. The once-familiar landscape transforms transforms and the true identities of the island’s residents remain shrouded in secrecy. Sam and Emma find themselves entangled in a web of intrigue, questioning their own connection to the island’s dark past. As the stakes rise, Sam and Emma must uncover the truth about Camillia Island and its inhabitants before it’s too late.
Highlights.
The way Asher has built this plot is genius. The abundance of tropes might leave readers assuming predictability. However, red herrings sprinkled throughout the chapters will leave you guessing but never quite certain who is friend and who is foe until the final chapters.
The way that Asher depicts the natural elements on Camillia Island is also worth mentioning as a highlight. Nature plays a big role in this plot and I confidently say that it is a character in its own right. It is not only the ubiquitous snakes and crows encroaching on the inhabited spaces that lend a sinister feeling. The descriptions of the ocean surrounding the island, the vines and flowers that grow around the houses and even the scents permeating the breeze all combine to create a single force that drives the plot to its conclusion.
Drawbacks.
Don’t Eat the Pie is told through the alternating points of view of Samantha and her daughter Emma. This has become a popular way to narrate a story and I understand that it gives the writer a way to reveal information to the reader while still keeping specific characters in the dark. The problem is that if the voices are not distinct enough it can become confusing to differentiate who is telling the story, even if this is specified at the beginning of each chapter. This was the problem I encountered; Sam and Emma are so similar that I spent a lot of time turning back to the chapter headings to check who was telling the story at each point.
The Final Take.
I loved this story.
Don’t Eat the Pie has something for every horror reader. A Southern gothic, supernatural, occult, familicide, body horror… I could go on.
This was so close to the 5 out of 5 rating. It only missed out due to the alternating points of view causing some confusion because they were too similar.
(4.5 / 5)
Book Reviews
What Feasts at Night: An amble through Romanian folklore.
“Salt on the floor, threads on the walls, and iron under the pillow.”
Sword Soldier 2: What Feasts at Night, a review.
Published in February 2024, What Feasts at Night is the second book in T. Kingfisher’s Sworn Soldier duology. If you’re curious, you can find my review of the first installment, What Moves the Dead – a chilling reimagining of Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher – here.
What Feasts at Night into Romanian folklore, weaving a tale that grapples with PTSD and the enduring impact of trauma, or what our main character calls ‘soldier’s heart’.
The Plot.
In What Feasts at Night, Alex Easton returns from his unsettling encounter with the Ushers and sets his sights on a quiet retreat to his Galacian cottage. Accompanied by his loyal companion, Angus, and his faithful steed Hob, he arrives to find the caretaker mysteriously deceased and the local villagers shrouded in fear and silence. Undeterred, Alex presses on, enlisting the aid of the superstitious Widow Botezatu to prepare his home for the arrival of his friend, Eugenia Potter.
As the story moves forward, the tranquility of the cottage is disrupted, and a sinister presence begins to cast its shadow. The Widow Botezatu’s son, Bors, begins to exhibit the same disturbing symptoms that the deceased caretakers suffered through. According to his mother, these symptoms align with the terrifying legend of the moroi.
Highlights.
Including the traditional Romanian folklore was a real highlight of this story. This is not limited to the presence of the shape-shifting, nocturnal moroi. Kingfisher has also included various superstitions from this region believed to ward off evil, such as weaving red thread and placing knives beneath pillows.
As a sworn soldier, Alex Easton has played his part in many wars. Kingfisher mentioned ‘soldier’s heart’ briefly in What Moves the Dead, in this installation we are able to see how this trauma response affects Alex. There is a beautiful insight into trauma that should not be left out of any review of this book.
“I sometimes think the fundamental disconnect with civilians is that they think the war is an event, something neatly bound on either end by dates. What anyone who’s lived through one can tell you is it’s actually a place. You’re there and then you leave, but places don’t stop existing just because you aren’t looking at them. The war’s still there. I don’t live in it anymore, but it’s right over there, just on the other side of… I don’t know.” (87)
Drawbacks.
In comparison with the first installment of this series, What Feasts at Night lacked peaks and troughs, feeling like a slow and steady amble to the final scenes. Although Kingfisher manages to pack her pages with atmosphere and a sense of foreboding, there is a lack of solid action here until the last few pages of the story. For those who enjoy a slow burn, this will not necessarily be a drawback, but I have grown to expect a certain level of movement from Kingfisher’s stories and found it was missing here.
The Final Take.
My love of T Kingfisher is no secret. I find her stories engaging, atmospheric and generally a little brain bending. However, What Feasts in the Night is perhaps my least favourite of those I have read. The plot was a little slow and the characters lack luster. I did still enjoy this story, in particular Kingfishers take on PTSD. I cannot say that this is an original idea but traumatic experience as a place rather than a time period is one that really makes sense to me.
There are whispers that suggest this series might grow into a trilogy next year. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what kind of trouble Alex Easton gets into next.
(3 / 5)
Book Reviews
What Moves the Dead gives depth to Poe’s most famous tale.
“The dead don’t walk. Except, sometimes, when they do.”
The first of T. Kingfisher’s Sworn Soldier duology, What Moves the Dead was published in July 2022. Shortly after the novella won the 2023 Locus Award for Best Horror Novel and was nominated for the 2023 Hugo Award for Best Novella, this story is Kingfisher’s version of Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’. It offers depth and insight into the original characters and plot of Poe’s short story.
The Plot.
What Moves the Dead is a modern reimagining of Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tale, “The Fall of the House of Usher.”
The story follows Alex Easton, a sworn soldier who receives a disturbing letter from the sister of his childhood friend. Summoned to the isolated Usher mansion, Alex finds the once-grand house in a state of decay. This mirrors the deteriorating health of its inhabitants, Roderick and his twin sister, Madeline.
As Alex delves deeper into the unsettling atmosphere of the mansion, he encounters a series of inexplicable occurrences. Strange noises echo through the halls, eerie lights flicker in the darkness, and wildlife in the surrounding environment does not act as it should. As Madeline’s condition worsens, Alex begins to question the nature of the mysterious illness afflicting the family. Is it a physical malady, or something far more sinister?
Highlights.
Although What Moves the Dead follows the same storyline as ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’, Kingfisher’s version has the advantage of length. As she says in her author’s note, Poe’s story is just too short. Kingfisher names previously unnamed characters and provides them with more complete personalities. We get dialogue from Madeline and the doctor which offers answers and reasoning for the mysterious illness that the Usher twins are suffering from.
What Moves the Dead also provides a much more thorough description of the house and the surrounding natural environment. This becomes important in the identification of the Usher’s illness. We are also gifted an extra character, one Miss Potter, who definitively identifies herself as the aunt of the great Beatrix Potter who was known to be interested in mycology- the study of fungi.
Drawbacks.
In Kingfisher’s fictional country,Ruritania, the local language uses over 7 pronouns (ta, tha, than, var, ka, kan, va, van). Some of these are used only for sworn soldiers, others as a gender-neutral way to refer to children. A lot of time is spent explaining these and the reasoning behind each. I enjoyed reading this, but then was disappointed when none of these pronouns were really used in the book itself. The time that Kingfisher spent setting this up, I thought it would be a larger part of the story, but it had no bearing on the story at all.
The Final Take.
Is it wrong to consider a retelling or adaptation superior to a classic? I don’t have an answer for that. However, Kingfisher had gone above and beyond Poe’s original story, providing depth and insight where Poe only left questions. I will never eat mushrooms (in particular the long thready Enoki mushroom) again with complete peace of mind. I look forward to reviewing the second book in this series, What Feasts at Night.
(4 / 5)
Released in September of this year, Lucy Undying is the latest release by horror author Kiersten White. This is the same author who brought us Hide and Mister Magic, which were both wonderful books. And I’m pleased to say that Lucy Undying has kept up that trend.
The story
Lucy Undying is the story of Lucy Westenra, a character from the original epic novel, Dracula. Lucy is an early victim of Dracula, a tragic young woman who is turned into a creature of the night and eventually beheaded by her fiance.
But what if she wasn’t?
Abandoned by Dracula and unable to return home, Lucy travels the world searching for someone to spend her eternal life with.
Meanwhile, in the present time, a young woman named Iris is in England to sell properties that belonged to her mother. Said mother was the leader of an MLM cult. This cult is trying to control Iris even now. Her only wish is to sell off some antiques for money, then disappear where the cult can never find her again. Then, she meets Elle, and what she wants from this trip changes.
Of course, it’s soon clear that this trip would never be straightforward. Especially when she finds the journal of Lucy Westenra in a safe of the abandoned house.
The story
Lucy Undying was hard to put down because it constantly left the reader asking questions. Who is Elle? Why is Iris involved in the story of Lucy? Why is her crazy mother’s crazy cult out to get her? Will Lucy ever find someone to love? And why has she chosen to pour out her whole story to a random therapist? Any book that has me asking so many questions will succeed in getting me to turn every page.
The mystery of the novel is particularly impressive because it’s told from three points o view, in three timelines and three different styles of storytelling. I am impressed that these three timelines were able to progress without tripping over each other.
I’m also impressed by the constant style switching. When we’re with Iris, the story is told in first person. Lucy talking to the therapist is telling the story in a narrative. And then we have Lucy when she’s still a human, in her personal diary. As a writer myself, this was a fun experience.
Even aside from the format switching, this was a well-written story. The dialog and word choices were beautiful and flowing. I found myself highlighting passages because they were just so touching, poetic, or otherwise perfect. If you’re a word nerd like me, you’ll find yourself swept away by the beauty.
Finally, Lucy Undying was an obvious love letter to the original Dracula. It mimicked the style, storytelling, and themes perfectly. The only real difference is that the characters were more lively and interesting. It was sexy, dark, and gothic. It was very much the dramatic retelling we needed in modern times.
All in all, Lucy Undying was a fantastic read. If you’re a fan of vampires, gothic lesbian love stories, or just great stories, check it out now.
(5 / 5)
