Re-Gifted: an Original Story by Jennifer Weigel
Pauline had been eager to have Donna over for a private party to get to know her better and celebrate the holidays. They had been flirting with one another at work at Fast Joe’s Burger Joint for some time, with her working the register and Donna grinding and grilling the meat in the back.
They both worked the late shift and loved Stephen King novels and Ozzy. Together, they made fun of their over-perky manager who always looked like she was just coming off a morning yoga rave and the 2AM stoners who ordered more food than they could possibly eat. They snuck off for “smoke breaks” and got high together. They had a thing.
Everything was in place, there were pine decorations and lights over the hearth. The fireplace was lit and music playing softly in the background, and a kettle warming mulled apple cider. Pauline was playing the perfect hostess.
Donna was eager to come and was dressed in her velvet finery for the occasion.
She had brought the perfect gift…
Pauline opened the box and screamed. Staring back at her was a severed child’s head in a jar, neatly cut, eyes glazed over. It reeked of formaldehyde. Its blonde hair trailed in wispy swirls to the surface.
Donna stared at her in dazed dread. Did she know? It was still a perfectly good head, it wasn’t obviously pallid or rotting and great care had been taken to drain it of any excess blood so it wouldn’t leak out into the jar and muddy everything in its preservation process.
Was it that obvious?
Pauline clamped the lid down on the box in a frenzy and ran to the bathroom. The retching heaving sound of her throwing up in the toilet echoed down the hall.
Donna worried. She must know… It hadn’t seemed too obvious. The head was still fresh. Donna had only received it from her cousin Ellie the night before at their family holiday social and had complimented Ellie on her exquisite taste and expert embalming skills. A child’s head for Krampusnacht was always the most perfect gift, and she did have quite the collection.
But Donna didn’t need another preserved head. Her mantle was already full so she had moved on to collecting pinky fingers. They didn’t take up as much room and they were always so delicate and small. But her cousin Ellie wouldn’t have known that and so, there she was, gifted with one more head and nowhere to put it.
Surely Pauline would appreciate it, they had so much in common.
They both worked the late shift and loved Stephen King novels and Ozzy. Together, they made fun of their over-perky manager who always looked like she was just coming off a morning yoga rave and the 2AM stoners who ordered more food than they could possibly eat. They snuck off for “smoke breaks” and got high together. They had a thing.
Pauline had finally stopped throwing up long enough to dash to the kitchen and snatch up the phone. She was speed dialing, a low tone followed by two high ones.
It isn’t that bad.
No need to call the cops just because of a re-gifting, how inappropriate and overly dramatic. She should be taught a lesson in manners, thought Donna as she cut the phone line. She knew the police would be on their way soon. She turned to Pauline.
“Don’t you like it honey?” she asked.
Pauline was frozen to the spot clutching the phone in her long beautiful fingers. She let out a long whimpering sigh, almost more like a hushed gasp or a stifled cry. She couldn’t move or think or articulate a response so she just stared back at Donna who glowered at her expectantly.
“I said, don’t you like it honey?” Donna asked again studying Pauline intently like a cat fixated on a birdbath. Donna noticed for the first time how lithe and supple Pauline’s hands were as they cradled the phone. Her nails were exquisitely manicured and painted bright red for the holidays. Her hands appeared soft as silk, delicate and beautiful, not hands that were used to grinding meat or working the fryer…
Donna re-arranged her newly begun collection of pinky fingers later that night. She had to make room for the two new additions… Cousin Ellie and her family’s Krampusnacht gift exchange had come through yet again.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
-Mountains-
A serene mountain landscape yawns; monumental evergreen trees fingering a brilliant azure sky stroked with wispy clouds. The air is crisper and fresher here, wafting its piney fragrance along the meandering deer path that bends and swerves down the gradual slope…
-Reset-
-City-
A bustling urban environment beckons, its diverse, brightly-clothed denizens laughing with one another, casually parting as you stroll through their midst. Sunlight dances through the crowd, reflecting off of towering buildings, cars, and bicycles. Sounds swell together as though breathing life into all interconnected within this rich tapestry of time and space. The street is a cacophony of alluring smells, and the savory scent of kosher all-beef hot dogs…
-Vegetarian-
Fragrant cumin zing of vegetable samosas…
-European-
Perfume of freshly baked baguettes embraces you in a warm hug as you sit at a small metal café table, savoring an espresso…
-Caffeine Free-
Lavender cremosa…
-Non-Carbonated-
Limonade…
-Reset-
-Beach-
The warm sand squishes between your bare toes as the soft ocean waves lap at your feet, beckoning you to wade further into the cool water…
-No Swimming-
The woven rope hammock stretched between two perfectly-spaced palm trees sways slowly as you lounge in its cradle, sipping a Mai Tai…
-Non-Alcoholic-
Iced lemonade in a highball glass through a red plastic straw…
-Eco-Conscientious-
Paper straw, the citrusy elixir providing respite from the steamy…
-Less Hot-
Warm breezy summer…
-Spring-
Spring air, children…
-Nature-
Birds…
-Silence-
You close your eyes, hammock gently rocking you to slumber.
We here at My Universe wish to thank you again for choosing our services. We know that there are many post-cataclysmic alternative realities available, and we appreciate your business. Please enjoy your respite from the societal collapse, and remember us next time you need to unwind.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. And if you really feel like getting away and helping clean up the beach a bit, check out this relaxing video from Dylan Clark titled Seagrass. Or maybe that wasn’t so relaxing after all… 😉
Somehow I came across an older Midnight Panther comic book, Feudal Fantasy #2 from the late 1990s to be precise, and I thought I’d reappropriate it into a new story as a collage. Anyway, this is what evolved. Honestly there wasn’t a lot of content to work with, but that isn’t surprising seeing as how that wasn’t really the point of the original… And sorry, I saved the erotic bits for another project, though even that was pretty tame in this one – just a bunch of boobies.
Images: Black and white line drawings of wide-eyed anime women and men in various states of undress, looking cute, being coyly pensive, and hack ‘n slashing.
Text reads: I like… men who are dying. We ought to just kill everyone involved. The scent of blood!! I never see his face, he always wears a mask. What a waste of time. I don’t like this. The horny bastard. What a pig!! -Slash- Sounds like it could be fun.
Images: More black and white line drawings of wide-eyed anime women and men kissing and hack ‘n slashing.
Text reads: Mercenaries of glorious Edo, if you can make the flowers that bloom along the rivers during spring drop their petals, then do so. I’m the Ferryman of the River Styx. Whssh.
OK, OK – here are some boobies since you stuck with this so long. And here’s a link to some more of my comic book collages, in case you are interested.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
Black Friday.
You can’t beat the deals. So many of us. Waiting. Readying. Checking the time. Counting down the seconds. You better believe I earned my place at the start of the line. I’ve been camping out here since late Wednesday. Yeah, yeah, the holiday was yesterday. Whatever, I had my family’s full endorsement.
Because that new high-definition television beckons. The best in zoning out technology. All channel access. Cutting edge entertainment. Bleeding edge. That blade is sharp, baby. Like a razor.
But this kind of escapism is costly. A reality check says it’s not in my family’s budget. We don’t make that kind of money, and so here I am. Among all the others vying for the same prize.
Only one will get there first. Only one available. Must have TV. Must have T.V. Must. Have. T. V.
An employee approaches the door. Nobody noteworthy. A soon-to-be-casualty. No more. No less.
We rise and lurch into place. Ready…
On your mark.
Get set.
Go!
Original images generated with Nightcafe AI art generator.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. Or if you just want more zombies, might I recommend either Elvis or the Fashionistas?
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