🎅🏼🔪 Brace yourselves for a blood-soaked holiday extravaganza! 🎄💀

Joe Bob’s Christmas Carnage is coming to town, and it’s not for the faint of heart! Catch this killer special on Shudder and AMC+ TV feeds Friday, December 13th at 9pm ET/8c, or stream it on-demand starting December 15th.

What’s in Santa’s bag of horrors? 🎁

Two spine-chilling holiday horror flicks

So much gore, even Rudolph’s nose will turn pale

A charity auction that’ll make your wallet scream (in a good way!)

Joe Bob and Darcy are decking the halls with boughs of terror, auctioning off:

• Rare AF props from The Last Drive-In
• Exclusive merch that’ll make your horror-loving heart skip a beat
• Joe Bob’s personal keepsakes from his 35-year reign of terror in the industry

But wait, there’s more…

Join the HauntedMTL crew for a spine-tingling side quest on Threads (https://www.threads.net/@_hauntedmtl_)! We’re going live as our very own Jim Phoenix breaks the bank for charity, adding an extra layer of terror to your Joe Bob experience. It’s like getting two scoops of horror in your bloody sundae! 🍦💀

Those britches are mine, bitches! -Jim circa the year of Darcy’s panties.

And because we love our fellow fiends, we’re stuffing your stockings with some killer swag! That’s right, HauntedMTL followers have a chance to win some seriously spooky goodies. It’s our way of saying “thanks for being part of our nightmare before Christmas!” 🎁👻

So, while Joe Bob and Darcy are slashing through their winter wonderland, hop over to Threads and join the HauntedMTL fam. It’s a horror-day party you won’t want to miss! Remember: the more you engage, the better your chances of scoring some haunted swag. Let’s make this a Christmas to dismember! 🔪🎄

Wanna know which flicks we’re slashing through? Tune in December 13th on Shudder to find out! 🍿🔪

Your holiday shopping spree will support these awesome causes:
Pacific Marine Mammal Center

Children of Fallen Patriots Foundation

Family Promise

Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Don’t be a Grinch – join the carnage and spread some bloody good cheer! 🎅🏼🔪🎄

-Mountains-

A serene mountain landscape yawns; monumental evergreen trees fingering a brilliant azure sky stroked with wispy clouds.  The air is crisper and fresher here, wafting its piney fragrance along the meandering deer path that bends and swerves down the gradual slope…

-Reset-

-City-

A bustling urban environment beckons, its diverse, brightly-clothed denizens laughing with one another, casually parting as you stroll through their midst.   Sunlight dances through the crowd, reflecting off of towering buildings, cars, and bicycles.  Sounds swell together as though breathing life into all interconnected within this rich tapestry of time and space.  The street is a cacophony of alluring smells, and the savory scent of kosher all-beef hot dogs…

-Vegetarian-

Fragrant cumin zing of vegetable samosas…

-European-

Perfume of freshly baked baguettes embraces you in a warm hug as you sit at a small metal café table, savoring an espresso…

-Caffeine Free-

Lavender cremosa…

-Non-Carbonated-

Limonade…

-Reset-

-Beach-

The warm sand squishes between your bare toes as the soft ocean waves lap at your feet, beckoning you to wade further into the cool water…

-No Swimming-

The woven rope hammock stretched between two perfectly-spaced palm trees sways slowly as you lounge in its cradle, sipping a Mai Tai…

-Non-Alcoholic-

Iced lemonade in a highball glass through a red plastic straw…

-Eco-Conscientious-

Paper straw, the citrusy elixir providing respite from the steamy…

-Less Hot-

Warm breezy summer…

-Spring-

Spring air, children…

-Nature-

Birds…

-Silence-

You close your eyes, hammock gently rocking you to slumber.

We here at My Universe wish to thank you again for choosing our services.  We know that there are many post-cataclysmic alternative realities available, and we appreciate your business.  Please enjoy your respite from the societal collapse, and remember us next time you need to unwind.

And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. And if you really feel like getting away and helping clean up the beach a bit, check out this relaxing video from Dylan Clark titled Seagrass. Or maybe that wasn’t so relaxing after all… 😉

The first of T. Kingfisher’s Sworn Soldier duology, What Moves the Dead was published in July 2022. Shortly after the novella won the 2023 Locus Award for Best Horror Novel and was nominated for the 2023 Hugo Award for Best Novella, this story is Kingfisher’s version of Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’. It offers depth and insight into the original characters and plot of Poe’s short story.

The Plot.

What Moves the Dead is a modern reimagining of Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tale, “The Fall of the House of Usher.”
The story follows Alex Easton, a sworn soldier who receives a disturbing letter from the sister of his childhood friend. Summoned to the isolated Usher mansion, Alex finds the once-grand house in a state of decay. This mirrors the deteriorating health of its inhabitants, Roderick and his twin sister, Madeline.
As Alex delves deeper into the unsettling atmosphere of the mansion, he encounters a series of inexplicable occurrences. Strange noises echo through the halls, eerie lights flicker in the darkness, and wildlife in the surrounding environment does not act as it should. As Madeline’s condition worsens, Alex begins to question the nature of the mysterious illness afflicting the family. Is it a physical malady, or something far more sinister?

Highlights.

Although What Moves the Dead follows the same storyline as ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’, Kingfisher’s version has the advantage of length. As she says in her author’s note, Poe’s story is just too short. Kingfisher names previously unnamed characters and provides them with more complete personalities. We get dialogue from Madeline and the doctor which offers answers and reasoning for the mysterious illness that the Usher twins are suffering from.

What Moves the Dead also provides a much more thorough description of the house and the surrounding natural environment. This becomes important in the identification of the Usher’s illness. We are also gifted an extra character, one Miss Potter, who definitively identifies herself as the aunt of the great Beatrix Potter who was known to be interested in mycology- the study of fungi.

Drawbacks.

 In Kingfisher’s fictional country,Ruritania, the local language uses over 7 pronouns (ta, tha, than, var, ka, kan, va, van). Some of these are used only for sworn soldiers, others as a gender-neutral way to refer to children. A lot of time is spent explaining these and the reasoning behind each. I enjoyed reading this, but then was disappointed when none of these pronouns were really used in the book itself. The time that Kingfisher spent setting this up, I thought it would be a larger part of the story, but it had no bearing on the story at all.

The Final Take.

Is it wrong to consider a retelling or adaptation superior to a classic? I don’t have an answer for that. However, Kingfisher had gone above and beyond Poe’s original story, providing depth and insight where Poe only left questions. I will never eat mushrooms (in particular the long thready Enoki mushroom) again with complete peace of mind. I look forward to reviewing the second book in this series, What Feasts at Night. (4 / 5)