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Payne here! A quick Behind the Scenes for Undead and Uncut. Ever do an exquisite corpse? Ever do one live? Ever do one and forget the character’s name? Yup! That happened a few times during our live round. The funny thing is–even after this BTS episode, the very next person to go…well…’mah bad!’

'Failed' chiropracter turned wrassler. Now out of retirement to give this horror thing a twirl. '4'

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Gaming

Dive into Adventure: A Comprehensive Review of the Pirate Borg RPG

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All images courtesy of Free League

Ahoy, ye landlubbers and aspiring pirates! Embarking on a journey with Pirate Borg, we dive headfirst into the treacherous waters of the Dark Caribbean, where sea monsters lurk and myths come alive. This pirate RPG, seeping with Lovecraftian horror and naval combat, is no ordinary roleplaying game—it’s an adventure set during the Golden Age of Piracy, promising dark, supernatural escapades.

Set your sails to explore dungeons deep below the taverns, navigate treacherous vessels, and face off against horrific sea monsters. Pirate Borg isn’t just a game; it’s a toolbox for crafting your own legends on the high seas, using the Mork Borg system to fuel tales of mystery, brutality (and rum!), and survival against all odds.

With its roots firmly planted in the Mörk Borg ruleset, Pirate Borg offers a unique blend of eerie tales and turbulent seas, compatible with both the award-winning MÖRK BORG RPG and easily hacked for any tabletop RPG. You don’t need to have played Mörk Borg before, but if you have played, you will see a few familiar mechanics, and some new spins on them. This game, designed for those who dare to sail the haunted seas, is a gateway to untold stories filled with undead mariners and cursed treasures, available for plunder from Free League Publishing.

Core Gameplay and Mechanics

Alright, mates, let’s dive right into the heart of Pirate Borg and talk gameplay and mechanics, the real meat of this pirate feast! Trust me, it’s as juicy as a seared steak on the open sea.

Character Creation: You’ve got a smorgasbord of character classes to pick from – think Brute, Buccaneer, or even a spooky Haunted Soul (more on Haunted Souls later!). Rolling for your pirate’s abilities is a breeze with just a few tables, and before you know it, you’re decked out with starting gear, a weapon, and maybe even a fancy hat. It’s quick, painless, and you’re ready to face death (which happens a lot) in no time.

I think this is a primary strength of Free League. You don’t get bogged down in creating your character like other systems (I’m looking at you AD&D 2nd edition!). This means if you die..well..take a sip and churn another sheet out. It also means you can start newbies with little prep time.

Simple yet vast, character creation is a breeze with random tables guiding ye through attributes, gear, and peculiar flaws. Takes but 10-15 minutes, yet every pirate emerges unique.

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Haunted Souls in Pirate Borg

In the world of Pirate Borg, Haunted Souls are spectral entities that inhabit the game’s universe, each with its own unique backstory and abilities. Not only can you encounter Haunted Souls in the game, but you can be one! There are two basic methods for becoming a Haunted Soul:

  1. Create one directly as your first character (GM Willing). If you go this route not only do you pick (or random) your Haunted Soul type (Yes, there are multiple types!) but you also see what class they are. It’s a two-fer!
  2. Create one upon death (GM Willing). When you die, you can come back as the undead! This way will let character play without trying to introduce a whole new pirate to the mix. I see this as a clever mechanic to keep the game flowing and even add more spice into the mix!

In the Navy!!

This reminded me of the difference between versions of Assassin’s Creed. Some of the ship combat design is well thought yet straight forward. I like how the system can be used so you are on a ship (along with all piratey things) but you don’t need to go on a ship to have an adventure. Although, to play Pirate Borg without as much as stepping foot on a ship might end you up in Davey Jones’ locker (the Monkee will feast!)

Naval Combat & Exploration: Ahoy, the real treasure of Pirate Borg! With over a dozen ships at your disposal, you’re set to conquer the seas. Combat is a slick affair, with the captain steering the ship into glory while the crew hustles with their duties. And let’s not forget the thrill of exploring uncharted islands and deciphering treasure maps. The game’s sandbox nature means you’re in for a unique adventure every time you play.

Ship-to-ship combat is a beast of its own. Think miniatures game on the high seas, with hex grids for tracking and character sheets for ships. Aye, your vessel has stats and abilities, making naval encounters a thrilling affair.

The Dread of Ship Combat: Here’s where the rubber meets the road, or rather, where the cannonball meets the ship. Combat is a high-stakes game of rolling d20s for attacks and defenses, with a hefty dose of strategy thrown in during naval battles. Expect to lose a few mates along the way, as character mortality is as common as finding rum at a pirate’s lair. But hey, that’s the life of a pirate, right? High risk, high reward! By the way, there is a modifier used for PC vs Ship, meaning if a player character takes a gun and shoots a ship, not a lot of damage is done. However, if a ship shoots a cannon at a character, well…

We’re out of Rum?! NOOOOO!!!

  • Alchemy, Sea Shanties, and Devil’s Luck (oh my!):
    • Alchemy ain’t just for landlubber wizards; Pirate Borg introduces an alchemy system for concocting potions or maybe even poisons, or even better–Grog n Rum!
    • Sea shanties offer more than a morale boost; they provide mechanical benefits, proving once again that a pirate’s best weapon might just be their voice. Like seriously–there are sea shanties that you have to sing to provide boosts or banes!
    • Lastly, the Devil’s Luck mechanic allows for re-rolling dice, dealing max damage, or dodging critical hits, proving that sometimes, the sea gods do favor the bold (or the lucky).

So, batten down the hatches and prepare for a game that’s as unforgiving as the sea itself but rewarding for those daring enough to embrace its chaos. With Pirate Borg, ye aren’t just playing a game; ye’re living the pirate life, risks and all!

The Sandbox and the Random Gens

Stepping into the world of Pirate Borg, you’re not just dipping your toes into some lukewarm kiddie pool of pirate adventures; oh no, you’re plunging headfirst into the chilling depths of the Dark Caribbean. This ain’t your grandma’s pirate tale, folks. We’re talking a setting so grim, even the bravest of souls might think twice before setting sail. Imagine a world where the Golden Age of Piracy meets a nightmare buffet of undead sailors, cursed riches, and eldritch horrors that would make even Davy Jones lock his locker and throw away the key.

  • The Curse of Skeleton Point & Black Coral Bay Adventures: These aren’t just any old treasure hunts. “The Curse of Skeleton Point” is like the ultimate pirate sandbox, offering nearly 40 pages of challenges, memorable NPCs, and a vibe so hardcore it’ll have you checking under your bed for zombie sailors. And “Black Coral Bay”? Picture this: supernatural beasts, mysterious temples, and an open-world tropical island that’s as inviting as it is deadly. Both adventures serve up a full plate of high-seas hijinks and horror, perfect for both newbies and seasoned pirate RPG veterans.
  • Random Generators Galore: Ever wanted to captain a ship named “The Scurvy Seadog” or find yourself hauling a cargo of, I don’t know, haunted coconuts? Pirate Borg’s got you covered with random generators for vessel class and names, mundane and special cargo, and even plot twists that’ll make M. Night Shyamalan nod in approval. It’s like the game’s saying, “Hey, why settle for a mundane adventure when you can have an epic one?” Plus, with the theater of the mind gameplay, your imagination’s the limit. So, grab your hat, polish your hook, and get ready to face off against hordes of zombie sailors and eldritch terrors in search of Ash, the ultimate pirate prize.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Diving into Pirate Borg is akin to setting sail on choppy, monster-infested waters; it’s a whirlwind of high stakes and lurking dangers, blended with a hefty dose of supernatural intrigue. From the riveting character creation to the adrenaline-pumping naval combat and dark, haunting visuals, the game carves out a niche in the RPG realm that’s unmistakably thrilling. It embodies the perilous allure of piracy while wrapping players in a cloak of shadowy tales and cursed treasure. Through every cannon blast and eerie encounter, the game reinforces the grim, yet electric atmosphere of the Dark Caribbean, ensuring that players remain glued to their seats, eyes wide with anticipation.

Did I mention you can grind the bones of the dead and get down with your inner Keith Richards?

What makes Pirate Borg not just an RPG but an immersive experience is its ability to balance the brutality of pirate life with the captivating essence of dark fantasy. The game invites players to not just witness, but partake in a world where every choice could lead to riches or ruin.

In the end, by the powers of the Elder Gods, Pirate Borg does more than just carry the torch from Mörk Borg; it lights up the cannon for a whole new adventure. With its more detailed mechanics and captivating themes, it’s a treasure trove waiting to be explored. So, grab yer compass and set sail into the unknown, for Pirate Borg promises a voyage like no other. Of course, I might be biased since our logo and ratings system would fit right in the game. 4.5 out of 5 stars (4.5 / 5)

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The Last Drive-In Live: A Tribute to Roger Corman

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The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs returned March 15th for a special tribute to Roger Corman. Filmed live in Las Vegas during Joe Bob’s Jamboree last October, fans who were unable to attend can finally see what they missed. The Drive-In is available on AMC+ and Shudder.

This week on The Last Drive-In, Joe Bob and Darcy return to pay tribute to Roger Corman’s first 70 years in Hollywood. Roger and Julie Corman join the hosts between films at the West Wind Drive-In for an incredible interview on stage. Legendary actor Bruce Dern is also part of the conversation. Spanning the decades, Joe Bob presents Corman’s A Bucket of Blood (1959) and Deathstalker (1983).

Live from Las Vegas

A Tribute to Roger Corman begins with a live rendition of the show’s theme song in front of the cheering audience. The stage brings the trailer park to Vegas with its familiar set-up of chairs and a cooler. John Brennan croons as Yuki Nakamura beats a colander with a stick before introducing the show’s hosts. Joe Bob gives a special shout-out to the Las Vegas Chamber of Cannabis before introducing Darcy the Mailgirl.

In place of a tangentially related rant, Joe Bob opens with focused praise of Corman. He lauds Corman’s ability to fully meld the business and art halves of producing. Bringing attention to how “cheap” Corman is, Joe Bob highlights the smart decisions that sustained Corman’s long career. He calls them “the decisions of a producer who is being an artist.” Corman’s ability to spot talent and negotiate deals connects him to the beating heart of Hollywood, and leaves Joe Bob “truly in awe” of him.

Beatnik City

Part of what makes Corman special is his fascination with new and culturally relevant ideas. A Bucket of Blood (1959), is perhaps the best example of his ability to take real life and turn it into art. Corman together with writer Charles B. Griffith spent time in beatnik coffeehouses to create what Joe Bob calls “the ultimate parody of the whole beat generation.”

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A poster for Roger Corman's A Bucket of Blood.
A poster for Roger Corman’s A Bucket of Blood

Bucket tells the story of Walter Paisley (Dick Miller), an impressionable busboy who is determined to impress the customers he serves. Jealous of the attention poet Maxwell H. Brock (Julian Burton) commands; Walter decides to become a sculptor. While attempting to sculpt the face of the coffeehouse’s hostess Carla (Barboura Morris), Walter inadvertently kills his pet cat. Seizing the opportunity, he covers the cat in clay and passes it off as original work. When the sculpture gives him a taste of the adoration he seeks, Walter continues down the dark path of melding murder with art.

The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: 4 dead bodies, 1 dead-cat sculpture, attempted busboy seduction with heroin, skillet fu, and gratuitous beatnik poetry. “Four stars. Joe Bob says, ‘Check it out.’”

Decisions, Decisions

Despite the film only being 67 minutes long, Joe Bob emphasizes how its length in no way limits the complete and complex story. Corman cuts down film times as a production decision. According to Corman, 78 minutes is the perfect length for a movie because it lowers distribution costs. Low run-times also make movies more likely to receive a television sale as it allows for more commercials.

Joe Bob credits Bucket with defining the acting style of Dick Miller and kicking off his career of playing oddball characters. The film also shows the strengths of Julian Burton as a character actor. Corman expected those in his films to continue in the industry, but not necessarily with him. Speaking about a conversation he had with Corman once, Joe Bob recounts him saying, “If you make a third movie for me, I tend to lose all respect for you.”

Budgeting

Bemoaning that a producer like Corman doesn’t exist for the modern age, Joe Bob asks the audience who they think could be analogous. Eric Butts gleefully shouts out “Lloyd Kaufman!” Darcy agrees with Butts, but Joe Bob doesn’t seem to think one truly exists. If one does, I agree that Kaufman is the closest thing. Joe Bob seems to think Blumhouse might be it, but concedes “they make expensive movies now.” Corman was not one to make expensive films even if it was within the budget.

Utilizing cost-saving measures, Little Shop of Horrors (1960) was filmed shortly after Bucket and utilized the same sets. Little Shop is the only Corman film in the National Film Registry. Joe Bob seems perplexed by this as Bucket and Little Shop are “identically structured movies.” Between the two, he believes Bucket to be the superior film.

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When Darcy asks Joe Bob what he would do with $10 million in production funding, he says he would make 40 movies. Bucket of Blood 2, Gatorbait 3, and Hogzilla 2 are all thrown out as options. As soon as hogzilla is mentioned, the crowd bursts out in the now-familiar “Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!” chant. Being there, it felt good to be able to join in on the chant live instead of yelling it at my screen.

My rating for Bucket of Blood: 4.7 out of 5 stars (4.7 / 5)

Crowd Pleaser

Due to the live format, there is no mail break between movies. Instead, Joe Bob announces that Darcy will be going through the crowd to collect their letters. This appears to be news to Darcy and she responds with a startled look on her face, “Oh, I will not be moving amongst them!” She may have become more confident with her place on The Last Drive-In, but sending her out into the dark among the masses is too far. We’ll try to not take it personally, Darcy.

Joe Bob sits on stage next to Darcy the Mailgirl
Joe Bob attempts to convince Darcy

Instead of leaving the stage, she asks Joe Bob if he has his questions ready for Corman. She braces again when he replies that he is going for spontaneity tonight. Joe Bob says he’s already asked all of his questions in previous Corman interviews, so he’s left with no choice but to wing it. “Whenever you say something off the top of your head, you make everyone mad, and I defend you,” she reminds him. 

Welcome to the Stage

A sense of joy and reverence overtakes the stage as Roger and Julie Corman join the hosts. It is easy to tell from Joe Bob’s face how much love and reverence he holds for Corman. Their relationship/friendship has lasted since Joe Bob presented Corman with a lifetime achievement award 40 years ago. Of course, the award was inscribed on a Chevy hubcap. And of course, it’s presentation took place at a drive-in theater.

Joe Bob Briggs interviews Roger Corman on stage.
Joe Bob interviewing Roger Corman

Noting that a Chevy hubcap just wouldn’t cut it this time, Joe Bob gives both Roger and Julie lifetime achievement awards inscribed on Cadillac hubcaps. When Darcy hands Corman his award, he smiles in delight. “That’s great, that’s great! I love it!” The synchronicity of the moment is a beautiful thing to behold.

Always Prepared

Although Joe Bob told Darcy he did not have questions planned, he dives into the interview. “You were the man who brought Ingmar Bergman to the drive-in,” he starts. Corman reveals part of his distribution strategy and notes that drive-ins typically suffer in the fall from a lack of pictures. He says they decided to put Bergman’s film Cries and Whispers (1972) into drive-ins and see what happened. “We were delighted to find we had done average business.”

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Corman is just as endearing and affable throughout the remainder of the interview. As Joe Bob delves into his genre-spanning career, Corman’s answers are a wealth of institutional knowledge and personal stories. This is an interview that anyone and everyone planning on going into film should watch. Going through the multiple genres reveals how much of a finger Corman kept on the pulse of culture as well as his chameleon-like ability to fit himself into any situation.

What a Trip

Genres he has worked in include (but are not limited to): westerns, redneck action, film-noir, rock-and-roll musicals, historical action, ripped from the headlines exploitation, gangster, comedy, pure action, costume drama, women in prison, sword and sorcery, and motorcycle movies. Corman reveals he holds an affinity for the science-fiction genre in particular. “[It] is laid in fantastic areas, but to a large extent, it can be a comment on the present day.” Julie chimes in to reveal the first story Corman ever wrote was a science-fiction piece, and Corman looks wistful as he remembers failing to sell it.

When asked about his art-film period, Corman talks about dropping acid with the cast of The Trip (1967). Intending to draw from the experience while filming, Corman says the experience didn’t go entirely to plan. “I had such a great trip.” He remembers worrying it was “going to end up as an ad for LSD.”

Surprise Guest

Unbeknownst to everyone in the audience, Joe Bob arranged for a member of The Trip’s cast as a surprise guest. Bruce Dern enters the stage clad in a leather jacket. I’m not sure if this is his normal garb, or if he is making a nod to another Corman film he starred in – The Wild Angels (1966).

Dern is bursting with praise for Corman and his impact on the film industry. When Joe Bob asks about working with Jack Nicholson, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, Dern asserts “We went to the University of Corman.” I immediately wish I could buy merch emblazoned with that. He summarizes Corman’s career succinctly, “You do shit that’s never been done.”

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Dern acknowledges that the pay wasn’t always fantastic, but that Corman always made sure his stars received the proper billing. “He put our names above the title.” Dern recalls being offended on Corman’s behalf for the lack of proper recognition throughout the years. “It was always fun to be with him and be able to say this kind of stuff about a guy, who God damnit deserves it.”

Lifetime Achievement

The interview ends with three incredible moments. First, Corman recalls receiving a death threat from Big Otto Friedli (a former President of the Hells Angels). Friedli was suing Corman in regards to The Wild Angels. His response to the threat leaves the audience in laughter. “My advice to you is forget the momentary pleasure of killing me and go for the million dollars.”

Next, the audience learns from Corman that a remake of Little Shop is coming in conjunction with Brad Krevoy. Joe Dante is directing the film, which is called The Little Shop of Halloween Horrors.

To end, Corman reveals that not only does he still have his original Chevy hubcap given to him 40 years ago, but that he brought it with him. In an incredibly touching moment, Corman bestows the award back to Joe Bob. “It’s my pleasure to give you the lifetime achievement award.” I cannot think of a higher honor.

You’ve Been Warned

Content warning: The second film of the night contains multiple depictions of sexual violence. Consequently, Joe Bob refers to it within his discussions of the film.

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Despite there being literally hundreds of Corman films to choose from, Joe Bob selects Deathstalker (1983) as the second movie. He breaks his decision down to three factors. First, he wants to present a sword and sorcery movie. Second, he wants to highlight Corman’s use of foreign countries to “make movies that otherwise would not be made.” Third, the movie has a lot of naked women in it and is “loincloth city.”

A poster for Roger Corman's Deathstalker.
A poster for Roger Corman’s Deathstalker

Deathstalker tells the story of, well, Deathstalker (Rick Hill) and his quest to acquire three magical items in order to defeat the evil sorcerer Munkar (Bernard Erhard). As Joe Bob puts it, “There’s rape and there’s pillage and there’s magic swords and there’s castles and there’s peasant hoards…”

The drive-in totals include but are not limited to: 30 breasts, 24 buttocks, limb ripping, spears through the gizzards, heads roll, leprosy fu. “Four stars. Joe Bob says, ‘Check it out!’”

Parental Advisory

This film has an almost absurd amount of sexual violence in it. It is rare for a woman to be on screen without there being sexual violence. If you are uncomfortable with watching that take place, Joe Bob does an accurate summation at each break. If you don’t want to hear about it, skip the second film entirely. As Darcy says, “This movie is very rapey.” 

Thankfully, Joe Bob does also delve more into Corman’s history during the breaks. Corman struck a 10-picture deal with Héctor Olivera and Aries Films based out of Buenos Aires. Joe Bob credits this deal with saving Aries Film during a time of hyperinflation in Argentina. Apparently, The Argentine film industry wasn’t a fan of Deathstalker and criticized the exploitation inherent in its production.

The stunt-work in the film is impressive. While the stunts are fun to watch, it’s hard to forget that the performers were risking bodily harm at a pay-rate that was only acceptable because of Argentina’s economic situation. Joe Bob highlights the work of José Luis Arévalo as the character Pig-Face specifically as deserving praise and recognition.

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A New World Order

Moving away from the film, Joe Bob goes deeper into Corman’s film distribution history. Starting with New World Pictures in 1970, Corman went on to create and sell various distribution companies. In the process, he created numerous sub-genres and launched the careers of several successful filmmakers. Martin Scorsese and Ron Howard are included in the list.

Corman would not allow someone to direct a film for him until they had editing experience. According to Joe Bob, Corman believes “editing is the key to great movies.” This calls back to his idea that 78 minutes is the perfect length for a movie. 

Lack of Defense

The film performed well in America but was a dud in its production home of Argentina. Joe Bob notes early into the film, “I am, by the way, one of the few defenders of this movie.” Darcy agrees that she is also a defender of the film. I am not.

My rating for Deathstalker: 1.3 out of 5 stars (1.3 / 5)

Wrap it Up

Although Darcy never waded into the crowd to collect letters, fans still wrote on whatever scraps they had and threw them in the collection box. Darcy chooses four letters, but my favorite comes from Victoria from Virgina. She writes in with a topical blonde joke: “Why did the two blonds freeze to death at the drive-in? They went to see ‘closed for the winter.’”

The night can’t really end until Joe Bob tells his jokes, and that he does. As the night draws to a close, John Brennan and the Bigfeet come back out with Yuki to sing the mutant oath as a send-off. Appropriately, the night ends with the crowd lovingly chanting Joe Bob’s name.

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While I may not be a fan of Deathstalker, the special overall was incredible to experience. Sitting live in the audience (and catching glimpses of myself on TV) is something I will never be able to forget.

It’s fascinating to see how the live experience translated to the screen, but production did a fantastic job making it seamless. The energy of the crowd is really what makes this special. Chanting will never be the same again.

Darcy on stage chanting "loincloth!"
Loincloth! Loincloth!

My rating for A Tribute to Roger Corman: 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Nightmarish Nature: Horrifying Humans

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So we’re going out on a limb here in this segment of Nightmarish Nature and exploring one of the most terrifying, most dangerous, most impactful species to walk this planet. I’m talking about us of course. Sure, as humans, we may not seem all that horrific to ourselves, but to many other creatures we have been a force of nightmares.

Humans male as drawn by Jennifer Weigel
Humans male as drawn by Jennifer Weigel

Why are we terrifying?

Humans are among those species that engage in massive modifications to our environment to serve our needs, like beavers who dam rivers, elephants who eat all of the new growth scrub to keep the savannahs tree-free, and so on. Yeah, all creatures have some impact on their surroundings, but some take it up a notch, and we do so at an order of magnitude higher still. And we have gotten so good at it that we have managed to exist and thrive in places that would otherwise be inhospitable. We are outwardly adaptive and opportunistic to the point of being exploitative. We are the apex predators now.

Sabertooth cowering as drawn by Jennifer Weigel
Sabertooth cowering as drawn by Jennifer Weigel

We have forced many creatures into extinction, intentionally and not, and have sped up these effects enormously. The National Audobon Society chose the egret as its symbol after it made a comeback from being hunted to near extinction, and it was one of the lucky ones. Many weren’t so lucky, especially if they came in direct conflict with humans, such as wolves and the big cats who were in direct competition, or those who were really specialized in really specific niche circumstances that we pushed out of the way. And this is in only a very very limited scope of our earth’s history, and has since been even more ramped up with industrialization.

Humans female as drawn by Jennifer Weigel
Humans female as drawn by Jennifer Weigel

But humans aren’t all bad are we?

Depends on who you ask… We have created all sorts of incredible opportunities for some species too. Take mice for example. And coyotes. And kudzu. And a whole host of animals whom we’ve domesticated, some of whom wouldn’t have continued to exist otherwise or certainly wouldn’t exist in anything resembling their current forms. And the most massive extinctions occurred long before our arrival, when the earth was still forming and underwent rapid catastrophic changes and swings, decimating critters as they were trying to get a foothold. Nothing is constant except for change; that has always been true.

Wolf begging for cheezborger drawn by Jennifer Weigel
Wolf begging for cheezborger drawn by Jennifer Weigel

So it isn’t my goal to get all eco-con​scious and environmentalist here. Just that I feel if we are going to explore some of the more terrifying aspects of nature, we need to look in the mirror. Because if a consensus were taken right here, right now of all living beings globally as to what is among the most terrifying creatures among us, I’m sure we’d appear on that list.

If you enjoyed this closer-than-kissing-cousins segment of Nightmarish Nature on Horrifying Humans, please check out past segments:

Vampires Among Us

Perilous Parenting

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Freaky Fungus

Worrisome Wasps

Cannibalism

Terrifying Tardigrades

Reindeer Give Pause

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Komodo Dragons

Zombie Snails

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