Suburban Screams, House Next Door
Episode three of John Carpenter’s Suburban Screams shares a name with one of my favorite horror novels, The House Next Door by Ann Rivers Siddon. As someone who is a sucker for haunted house stories, this was easily my favorite episode so far.
The story
This episode is about a man named Dr. Torrence. He grew up in a small town in California, called Jamul. A close-knit community where no one locked their doors.
And they continue not to, even after Torrence’s childhood friend goes missing along with her whole family.
Years later, a new family moves in. The family seems nice, and they have a daughter named Lisa. Nothing seems out of place until the father starts torturing animals in the family home. Then, we’re invited to question whether he’s always been this monster, or whether the house infected him with madness and fury.
The same house that seems to have swallowed up a family not so long ago.
What worked
If we’re to look at this episode as a pure horror story, then it’s fantastic. There are some good jump scares that never feel out of place. There are some truly frightening moments when we’re sure our narrator is going to get caught.
Many great horror tropes were on display here. I loved the family portrait with the cut-up faces. I loved the way the power flickers through the house. And while I hate the thought of hurting innocent animals, I’ll be the first to say that it’s an effective way to convey that a man is losing his mind and becoming twisted.
There was a tight structure to this story. It was well done.
What didn’t work
Here’s the thing though. True events don’t usually have a tight structure, do they? Maybe we can look back with hindsight and see a path. But it’s rarely laid out so perfectly.
I honestly think this episode, and the whole series, would have been better if it claimed to be inspired by true events, rather than claiming flat out that each story is true. That claim carries a lot of weight. And it’s not a weight that this episode was able to pick up.
A good example of this is the names of our two survivors. Dr. Torrance coincidentally has the same last name as the main character from The Shining. His best friend from school is named Mike Myers. It’s just a little too on the nose, you know? I think I’d like to see their high school yearbook for proof.
Finally, I’d like to talk about that first scene. The one in which little Torrance goes into the haunted house next door and meets a ghost with a bowler hat. A ghost that we do not see again for the rest of the episode. What was the point of this scene? Are we really to believe that this happened? Or was it just a clumsy, heavy-handed attempt to set the mood of the house? To say things we could have assumed? This was poorly done, and the episode would have been stronger without that scene.
Is it true?
This one isn’t as cut and dry as the episodes we’ve talked about so far. I will say that the story itself seems very improbable. This episode felt like a Goosebumps book, from start to finish. And real events don’t generally come together in such a specific, well-polished way. Real life doesn’t usually fit into an inciting action, rising tension, climax, and conclusion. And that first scene, with Torrence meeting the unnamed ghost man pretty clearly did not happen.
I also did some research and could not find any information about two families vanishing in the mid-eighties in the same house.
However, I will say that Dr. Torrence appears to be truly upset over the story he’s telling. Now, he could just be a good actor. But the quality of the rest of the acting leads me to think that isn’t the case. To him, at the very least, this story is very much real. His pain feels real, and I don’t want to dismiss that.
Then, there’s something interesting I found while researching for this review. When I looked up deaths in the small town of Jamul, California, I didn’t find anything about the Kennedy family. But I did find an eerily similar case, about a family who was shot and killed in their home.
I cannot verify that this happened in the same house, as the exact address is not revealed in either case. But it is at least plausible. And houses have long memories of horrible acts. So, while again I think this episode had more fluff and fiction than fact, I think there is a kernel of dark, rotting, truth.
(4 / 5)
House of Dragon S2E2: Coors Lite seems to have sponsored this episode. Remember, this is NOT a spoiler free review. It’s Jim watching the episode and writing random bits down without proof reading. …. much like what the show runners must have done with the season bible.
Without any further ado…our House of Dragon S2E2 Review! (Crap, that rhymes!)
That one prince dude is still dead and like so is the other one. No, not that one!
So apparently, Matt Smith didn’t mean to really have that one baby prince die or something. But you know, it’s easier to kill smaller ones than ones with eye-patches. I guess. I mean, does anyone care who killed a baby prince? It’s not like the rest of Westeros is going to see the dead kid on parade with his grieving…wait…what?
Are you shitting me? I haven’t seen this much of an obvious heart tug attempt since that one time I paid that Russian hooker to give me ‘the full trump’.
So..a populace of people who are very poor and really couldn’t give two shits who is in charge…are going to cry for you if you display a kid’s body? Sure. I guess it worked for (checks notes) Absolutely nobody before.
That other queen and the dude from Doctor Who’s conflict:
With an unforced error that one queen basically puts out the one guy who would literally kill for her. Is this a weird plot point I’m missing? So far the people who didn’t let Matt Smith’s character (man, we need a name for him. I mean one I can spell) do what he needed to do all sorta failed and died. Wonder if that’s foreshadowing or just an extra thing to go through to fill time?
And TWINS!!!:
Remember that one guy who was a twin of the other guy? And like they took opposing sides of the throne struggle? Nope? Well, me neither. Apparently Coors Lite is sponsoring this episode as the ‘you’ll go in and kill someone dressed as your twin’ trope gets used. It almost works. Sorta. Kinda. Okay, it’s not even close.
Not even a beard to tell the evil twin apart, we get rammed right into…a fight that ends in both of their deaths. That’s a missed opportunity, but I think a lot of this show might just be that: A missed opportunity.
New Hand aka OK Boomer
Looks like they tried a Boomer thing with HoD. The other other king kid (does this guy even have a name? Let’s call him Spanky Z). Spanky Z is all like I does what I want so I’ll kill every rat catcher and like hang them up and stuff. You know, things that Joffery would say was ‘a weak show’. Apparently, the populace doesn’t like being gutted and having their sons/fathers hung up dead on public display. Who knew?
The Hand knew, that’s who!!! Oh boy, is he ever going to take it to his grandson/nephew/niece (incest, amirite?)! Orr…..not. What I meant to say is, Oh boy! Won’t he ever just show how apparently weak a Hand he is and just resign after being replaced by some white cloak “definitely a virgin and not fuckin your mom’.
I think we’d care more if…we remembered anything from Season 1 about anyone here except this:
- 1. White Cloak dude fucked his mom
- 2. King dude is like not really the king but a pretender
- 3. Hand dude sold his 7 year old daughter to fuck the old king so she would be queen.
This episode was stronger than the last. I think they can still turn the ship around. I’d give this one a 4/5
I think that sums it up for our House of Dragon S2E2 Review. Now, back to that Coors Lite…
(4 / 5)
Season four of Amazon Prime’s The Boys launched on June 13th of this year. Having now watched the first episode, I believe I can safely say that this season is going to be bonkers.
Let’s discuss.
The story
When this episode begins, things aren’t going great for Homelander. He’s irritated at everyone around him for constantly agreeing with everything he says. He found a gray hair and is finally facing his own mortality. Oh, and he’s on trial for murdering a man last season.
Homelander decides he needs someone around him who will tell him the truth. Someone who can help him build a legacy. So he seeks out a sup named Sage, whose superpower is being the smartest person in the world. And what does he want with Sage? He wants her to help him destroy America.
Meanwhile, The Boys aren’t doing so well. They’ve been tasked with assassinating Neuman because she is the presumptive VP. But Neuman manages to avoid their assassination attempt by being literally bulletproof.
Unfortunately, The Boys aren’t bulletproof. And as we find out in this episode, one might not last much longer.
What worked
In fiction as in life, it is the little things that matter. It’s the small details that make the difference between a fine show and an exceptional one. This episode was full of such little details. One such detail was Homelander finding gray pubic hairs.
The reason why this distinction is important is because later in the episode we find out that his stylist has been dying his hair. She’s been intentionally hiding the fact that he’s going gray. This is important because it’s just one more person in Homelander’s life who is being dishonest with him. And I think that is what’s going to finally crack him.
The timing of this season is something I’d like to shed some light on. It is so fitting that this came out during an election year. Because of course, The Boys is mimicking the very real infighting we’re experiencing in America. We’ve all seen protests break out into violence. We’ve all seen important trials spark controversy. This is just so much like our real experience, except that in The Boys, the megalomaniac blond man baby is competent and good at things.
Finally, I was amused and impressed with the evolution of Neuman’s character. She is a politician, through and through. The way she can smile at someone while threatening them, and then make a pithy quip at their expense is fantastic. She made me laugh almost every time she was on screen.
What didn’t work
If I have one complaint about this episode, it’s that a lot happened in this episode. We have a whole bunch of plotlines going on here. Like, so many things. Butcher’s health, Homelander’s aging, Ryan’s future, Frenchie’s new boyfriend, Annie’s charity, Sage’s plotting, Butcher’s old friend, A-Train and The Deep growing discontent. And I’m sure I’m forgetting a few. This is just a lot to keep track of. And I just hope they have enough time and space to do them all justice.
Overall, I have high hopes for this season. And Amazon must too, because it appears that season five is already in the works. But for now, we’ll be back very soon to discuss episode two of The Boys.
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like my writing you can get my short story, Man In The Woods, on Smashwords and Amazon.
Computers are all the rage. Of course, you already knew that. But did you know that scientists, those denizens of deep throaty maniacal laughter and storms brewing over dark brooding castles, are building tiny brain computers now? So apparently this is what all the zombies are being used for… They’re the lackeys getting the goods. No surprise there, though, zombies do make good lackeys.
16 Mini Brains
It’s catchy. Like a jingle. And those sixteen mini brains are getting all sorts of attention nowadays. Apparently they’re all over social media. We don’t know what truths they think they’ll find there, but it has been said they do like to play Pong, so maybe some of those other kind of mindless clicker games will have similar appeal. Anyway, we’ve caught a rare glimpse of these little items of incidental intellect, through our prompting of the NightCafe AI art generator. And they’re kinda cute. See these renditions of the tiny brain computers for yourself.
Mushrooming Mayhem
It’s not just tiny brain computers though. Those sneaky scientists have also been experimenting with mycelium, harnessing the fungal power of mushrooms to make mental machine magic. Or create computer craft as it were. So what happens when the tiny brain computers and the mushroom computers start talking? Well, we aren’t sure, but we suspect the manifesting motherboard mushroom man would know. You’ll have to ask him. We hear he’s a fun guy.
So What Do the Ethicists Think About All This?
I have to admit, I don’t know any ethicists to ask about the topic, but that career path sure beats archaeology. All we know is that the scientists are at it again, and they haven’t had the best track record for working with ethicists, though morality has been a kind of touch and go subject through the course of human history anyway.
And the whole idea has been a big influence on AI generated art, with all sorts of people prompting all kinds of crazy combinations of computer creatures crawling with creepiness into the realms of dystopian nightmare. In fact, more of these stories seem to be illustrated using AI art generation than including actual images of the real life results, perhaps because the reality is that petri dishes of cells and fungal fragments really aren’t that interesting visually, just kind of snotty looking kin to the Blob…
