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The Horror of Dolores Roach is quickly becoming a highlight of my viewing this year. Now that I’ve seen episode two, I’m even more attached to the characters. Let’s discuss. 

The Story

We start this episode with Dolores taking a few days to rest. Which she for sure needed

Luis, always ready to help, has a lead on a job for Dolores. A regular a Empanadas Loco has a sister who owns a salon. 

The salon owner, named Bridget, is all ready to hire her after feeling Dolores’s magic hands. Until someone at her salon recognizes Dolores, and rats her out for being a convicted felon. 

Judy Reyes in Dolores Roach.

That someone is Marcie, played by the wonderful and underrated Judy Reyes. It becomes clear soon that Marcie lost Dolores the massage job on purpose so she could recruit her to sell weed to soccer moms. 

Dolores has no intention of doing that. She politely refuses, but does ask Marcie if she knows where Dominic is. Much like Luis, Marcie tells her there have been many wild rumors, but no one really knows where he is. 

Back at Empanadas Loco, Nellie has an idea for lifting Dolores’s spirits. They make a vision board on a mirror. 

I loved this for two reasons. One, vision boards are fun to make and inspirational. And two, I am fairly sure we saw a flash of Dolores using her vision board to kill somebody in the first episode. 

If there’s a gun (or vision board mirror) on the mantle in act one, it must go off (be used to beat someone to death) in act five. 

Dolores starts giving massages in the basement. And she’s doing well. Not only is she a good masseur, but she’s undercutting Bridget’s prices. Soon she’s making enough money to get an actual massage table. 

Justina Machado as Dolores Roach

Everything seems good, until the landlord shows up. 

It soon becomes apparent that Luis hasn’t paid rent in three months. And now Gideon, the landlord, is there to either collect or shut them down. He isn’t thrilled that Dolores is working out of the basement. And, sadly, he’s one of those people who can’t tell the difference between a masseuse and a sex worker. While there’s no shame in either, if you’re expecting one and not the other, you might be in for a surprise. 

Dolores gives Gideon all the money she’s saved up. He tells her this is enough to delay the eviction by a week. She offers to give him a massage. 

Again, he thinks she means something far different, even though she was abundantly clear that she intended to fix the knot in his back. 

Then, while Dolores is massaging him, Gideon cannot keep his mouth shut. This self congratulatory modern racist rant he goes on was enough to make me want to kill him, that’s for sure. 

I will say that this episode did not end how I expected it to. It did however, end with me eager to start the next. 

What Worked

My favorite part of the story so far is the mystery of Dominic. Where is he? Why did he vanish around the same time Dolores went to jail? I have suspicions, of course. They’re largely based on Sweeney Todd. 

For those of you who don’t know, when Sweeney Todd returns to London, he finds that his wife has taken a poison. He believes she died. Mrs. Lovett, his partner in crime, knows full well were Todd’s wife is, and doesn’t tell him.

What I’m saying is, we should be watching Luis carefully. 

I can’t say enough good things about the acting in this episode. The whole cast is perfectly on point. Justina Machado continues to provide a performance that is masterful. I can feel how anxious Dolores is, how scared and desperate she is to find her place in this world that changed so much without her. And yet the rage of the character comes through as well. The perfectly justified, smoldering rage. 

What didn’t work

Again, this was a difficult episode to find fault in. The writing is good, the acting is spot on. The story is developing in a wonderful direction. 

My only real complaint is that we haven’t had a lot of blood. We’re two episodes in, and nobody’s died yet. 

But something tells me that’s about to change.

The Horror of Dolores Roach is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. I can’t wait to see how the story goes from here. 

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

By the way, the second season of our horror/scifi podcast AA launches tomorrow! Don’t miss the two episode premiere.

'Failed' chiropracter turned wrassler. Now out of retirement to give this horror thing a twirl. '4'

Movies n TV

Wheel of Time A Question of Crimson Is a Political Espionage Delight

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Episode two of Wheel of Time felt like the beginning of a long journey. Stories are unfolding, lives are changing, and blood is spilling.

Let’s discuss.

The story

We begin this episode in the past with Elayne’s mother, Queen Morgase. It turns out her rise to the throne was a bit, shall we say, cutthroat. So when she shows up at the White Tower, Siuan is concerned.

She might have reason to be, too.

Meanwhile, Rand, Egwene, Moiraine, Lan and Aviendha are in the Spine of The World. As they travel through some of the most breathtaking lands I have ever seen on a TV show, Egwene is plagued with nightmares. We think at first that’s just her trauma working itself through her system. But we soon find out that it might not be that straightforward.

Finally, Perrin returns home to heal after his hand is almost cut in half. But when he gets there he finds the town has been infested by Children of The Light. And they’re looking for him.

What worked

There was something heartwarming in this episode about political espionage and choking religious persecution. And that is Elayne’s relationship with her family.

I have consumed a lot of fantasy content with royal families. And I have never once heard a princess call her mother ‘Mum’. I’ve never seen royal siblings get along. And I have sure as hell never seen a princess have a good relationship with her step-parent.

This was refreshing. Even though Queen Morgase is kind of a horrible person she seems like a good mother. And that’s an unexpected delight.

Dónal Finn in Wheel of Time A Question of Crimson

Of course, this is just one storyline among many. And while this can sometimes be overwhelming, in this case it wasn’t.

I’ll be honest, some of these storylines are going to drag for me. I know this because I’ve read some of the Wheel of Time books and I have an idea that not all the characters exactly pique my interest.

No one likes all the characters. No one likes all the storylines. While I am here for the political espionage between Queen Morgase and Siuan, not everyone likes it. While others might be fascinated with Selene trying to win Rand back, I couldn’t care less.

Having multiple storylines keeps everyone’s attention better. So long as things don’t get out of hand. Things can easily get out of hand. But this seems to be managed well.

So far.

What didn’t work

As I mentioned above, I’m not thrilled with Rand’s story at this point. And while it’s fine to not like a storyline when there are this many to choose from, it’s not fantastic that the one I like the least is the one involving our two main characters. And anytime we were with the team at the Spine of The World, the only thing that brought me joy was Moirain’s hat. It reminded me of Stockard Channing’s hat in Practical Magic.

The problem is that Rand is Charlie Brown with controversial magical powers. He is boring, serious, and pessimistic.

And yes, I understand that he has a heavy emotional burden and he’s the Dragon Reborn and that’s quite taxing and all. But let’s be fair, there isn’t a single person in this show that doesn’t have a heavy burden. And most of them manage to be fun occasionally.

Daniel Henney and Josha Stradowski in Wheel of Time.

All that being said, this episode of Wheel of Time did exactly what it needed to do. It set up conflicts at each of the three locations. It established emotional ties between the characters and the events. And it established goals for everyone.

This was, in short, a solid episode. Not groundbreaking, not mind-blowing or life changing. It was simply good. It was entertaining and moved the plot forward.

Well done.

3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)
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Movies n TV

Wheel of Time Returns With A Bang

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Wheel of Time is back for season three. There are mixed feelings regarding this. Last season, there were some serious pacing issues. And some serious sticking to the book’s storyline issues. But we’re two seasons in, and we don’t give up so easily. So let’s dive into episode one, To Race the Shadow.

By the way, I highly recommend watching this episode with the subtitles on. You’ll see why.

The story

We begin this episode with Liandrin facing a trial of sorts for her rampant betrayal. She does her best to gaslight her Aes Sedai sisters into thinking that Siuan Sanche is the real traitor.

When that doesn’t work, she reveals how many Black Aes Sedai have actually infiltrated the tower.

Spoiler, it’s a lot.

In the aftermath, our whole team gathers to drink and enjoy one night of relaxation before they head out to the Tear to form an army for Rand. All is going well until they’re attacked by myriad creatures and a sentient axe.

What worked

This episode was long. It had a run time of an hour and eleven minutes. And a lot of that run time was spent in heavy dialog scenes.

Fortunately, these were well-done scenes.

If you’re going to have a lot of talking scenes, there are good ways and bad ways to do it. Last season, we saw lots of examples of the bad way to do it. But this episode did it well. For one thing, other things were going on while conversations were taking place. The characters are drinking, playing games, walking through an interesting city. And the scenes themselves didn’t stretch out. They weren’t repetitive. We heard what the character had to say, then we moved on.

It was also nice that the point of these scenes wasn’t just info dumps. We had character development. We had romantic interactions. We had plot development and foreshadowing.

Overall, this episode felt like what it was. A moment of calm before a storm.

Taking a step back, I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the fight scene at the start of the episode. Because it was epic.

The magic looked amazing. The martial arts that went along with it looked fantastic. The costumes were beautiful. It was just incredibly fun to watch.

More than that, it was emotional. We lost some characters in that fight that were important. And it was clearly emotionally shattering for many of our characters, who found themselves betrayed by people they trusted.

So many of them.

It was a great way to open the season.

What didn’t work

Despite that, this episode wasn’t without its flaws.

First off, there were a lot of dialog scenes. And they were good scenes, as I’ve already discussed. But it was one after another after another. And when your episode is, again, an hour and eleven minutes, it’s maybe a little much to have so much chit-chat. Couldn’t some of these conversations, important as they were, have been moved to maybe another episode?

Finally, I want to talk about Egwene’s travel through the arches.

Still from Wheel of Time season three, episode one.

I feel like maybe there were some deleted scenes here. Because there must have been more to that visit than what we saw, right?

We could have seen Egwene battle Rand. That would have been badass and emotionally devastating. We could have seen her with a quiet life with Rand back home at the Two Rivers. We could have seen anything except for the quick clip of Rand in a bloody river, followed by Egwene being shoved back out in a bloody shift.

No products found.

Bad job. But at least it wasn’t an extended scene of Moiraine collecting bathwater, and then taking a bath while looking sad. If we’d started this season with another scene like that, it might have broken my brain.

Amazon dropped the first three episodes at once. So we’ll be back soon to talk about episode two. See you then.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)
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Entertaining as hell: Eight Legged Freaks (2002) Review

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Early 2000s is a special era for the industry. It accepts the cheesiness and corniness of movie making, in turn producing some gems in their own right. Eight Legged Freaks starring David Arquette and young Scarlet Johanson is a horror comedy about giant spiders who overtake a small town. As crazy as that premise sounds, the movie surprisingly has a ton of heart and is super entertaining. Let’s review, shall we? 

Plot

We start Eight Legged Freaks with a shot of toxic waste spilling into the water supply of Joshua, a spider farm owner. He is friends with Mike, one of our protagonists, who is a science geek and a spider enthusiast. Mike notices something quite right upon visiting Joshua, but no one takes him seriously. We are then introduced to the rest of the crew. Mike’s mother Samantha, the town sheriff, is too busy chasing Ashley, his sister, who is dating the town mayor’s son Bret (something Samantha does not approve of). We also have Chris, who returns to the town to save his father’s legacy in the town mines. He has opposition from Wade, Bret’s father, who wants to use the mines for his business ventures. Lots of drama going on that will only get juicier once the spiders get loose. 

The creepy crawlies quickly dispose of Joshua and make their grand appearance after Ashley rejects Bret’s advances, abandoning him in the middle of a desert. A glorious chase sequence ensues as the spiders make their way towards the town, wreaking havoc on its residents. In a true horror fashion (which the movie acknowledges), it takes some convincing from Mike and then from Samantha for the town to take the threat seriously. The tongue-in-cheek style of narrative adds the comedy aspect to a movie that would otherwise burn out fairly quickly. 

The remaining characters hide out in a shopping mall as it’s the only somewhat sturdy building in the area. This doesn’t last long as the spiders break in, forcing them to run through the mines. Their resources to fight the creepy crawlies off are limited as the methane gas doesn’t allow them to use firearms. Such conditions require resourceful thinking from Chris, who uses perfume to fend off the leader of the spider group and save himself during the climax of the movie. 

Character dynamics are not forgotten once the action kicks in. We have Chris confessing his long-term feelings for Samantha which she knew all along, which provided some comedic relief. Bret also reunites with Ashley and apologises for being an asshole. Mike finally gets the appreciation he deserves as his knowledge saves the townsfolk more than once during the whole ordeal. 

We end the movie with the town’s radio show person telling the story as an urban legend during his segment. This brings it into question – how much of it happened the way he said it did? We can only guess… 

Overall thoughts

Eight Legged Freaks is a fun creature feature with some self-aware commentary on genre tropes that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The acting is good, the pacing fitting and the characters are likeable enough for you to want them to make it through. Definitely a must watch, if you don’t suffer from arachnophobia, that is. 

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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Eight Legged Freaks [Blu-ray] [DVD]
  • What do you get when you cross toxic waste with a bunch of exotic spiders? Eaten! The townies of Prosperity, Arizona will all become a screaming smorgasbord if mutated arachnids as big as SUVs have their way in this comedy/horror crowd pleaser whose creators include the producers of Independence Day and Godzilla
  • Spiders that leap like gazelles, web-spitting spiders, spiders that suck your insides out as if through a straw—they’re all among the behemoths conjured up by an inventive effects team
  • David Arquette (Scream) leads the two-legged stars, mobilizing the citizenry in a last-ditch fight to survive

Last update on 2025-03-10 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

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