Notes from The Last Drive-In: Summer Sleepover
We return to the Drive-In for a special night of fun, movies, and a lack of social distancing. In all seriousness, though, it was a lovely night with a surprising amount of talent on the set.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
Opening Rant: Don’t body shame women.
1987’s Slumber Party Massacre II is a weird movie. It’s fun, but it is also like a lesser version of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Instead of exploring dream logic, Slumber Party Massacre II instead puts its eggs in the musical horror comedy basket to mixed results. Mind you, I am saying this as a fan of the movie.
The film follows Courtney, a survivor of the original Slumber Party Massacre, as she seeks time with her boyfriend while struggling with nightmares about the killer from the first film. Only now, inexplicably, he seems to be greaser and his drill is also a guitar. The movie is a comedy first and horror film second and while there is quite the body count, it also tends to be at the hands of a goofy, singing greaser.
There are a number of elements of the film that do not age well. For a film about a teenage girl who is in a band, a film with such a musical focus, the music really isn’t all that great. The logic of the killer is largely nonsensical as well, never really committing much to the idea of him being a real person or a dream entity in any convincing way. The story is about as complex as most 80s slashers, so the writing isn’t necessarily doing the film any favors either.
Yet, for the most part, none of this matters because it’s such a fun movie. I tend to love movies despite their flaws. A lot of my enjoyment of this movie comes from an appreciation for a lot of the same things I criticize in the first place. I enjoy how ridiculous the killer is, I like the songs despite the fact they’re fairly lame as far as songs go, and the ending makes no sense at all. The killer quips his way through his murder-spree like a rockabilly Freddy Kreuger.
Hell, the two cops who show up and do nothing for the teens are named Voorhies and Kreuger. It’s not a film that thrives on subtlety. It is one where topless karaoke, food and pillow fights, and light fixture grinding are in ample supply.
JBB was pretty fair with his own assessment of Slumber Party Massacre II, giving it two and a half stars. Among some of the interesting bits regarding the movie was the revelation that Paul Rubens spent time on the set for who knows what reason. Perhaps the best bit for the first half of the night, though, was Joe Bob’s expression of exasperated crew members of a Roger Corman production at 5 AM. If you remember “Demons-Fucking-Five” from the original Last Drive-In marathon then you get the same sort of energy here. Of course, the bits with Joe Bob and Darcy in pajamas were welcome and adorable, but none of the eventual guests were present for the first half of the night.
Basically, the night began with slumber party cheese that was punctuated by Darcy forcing Joe Bob to wear adorable Halloween pajamas, and isn’t that just what we’d expect from a Last Drive-In “Summer Sleepover?” Slumber Party Massacre II may not have been a master class in movie-craft, but it’s the perfect sort of junk food for the soul when you want to spend a night with friends. I can’t really go higher than three Cthulhus, though.
(3 / 5)
Best Line: “My… burger’s… weird.” – Courtney
Victor Crowley
Opening Rant: The Leggings Wars.
So, full disclosure, I have not seen the three prior films in the Hatchet series, of which 2017’s Victor Crowley is the fourth installment. This half of the evening was a Shudder premiere and also was, quite obviously, the main attraction of the night featuring a cavalcade of horror talent clad in their bedtime best. Based on what I saw, however, I will be seeking out the other films in the series. This is good stuff.
The film follows an amateur film crew and a plane of media figures who are going to the swampy remains of the Crowley house. Their paths converge after an accident causes a plane to crash and they are then stalked by the vengeful and murderous Victor Crowley. It’s a simply story, but it pretty much puts the pieces in place right away and then proceeds to break them in fun, messy ways.
The main appeals of the film are clearly outrageous violence and Victor Crowley himself. The film does present some particularly brutal kills, particularly one that turns a veteran horror actress into a human sleeve. As an unstoppable murder machine, Victor Crowley is very much in the mold of Jason Voorhees; hulking, tied to water, apparently undead, and mercilessly disfigured, and as a whole, he works. I am not sure how deep Crowley’s story is, but there is enough there to interest me in seeing the previous films. Truth be told, Victor Crowley is the best Friday the 13th movie I have seen since The New Blood.
Perhaps the biggest weakness of the film is that so much of the action is locked to the single location of the downed plane. The film does a good job using the plane and the limited surrounding swamp, but I can’t help but feel that the film spending so much time within the limited location was motivated primarily by budget concerns. Another concern is that the characters were also a bit broadly drawn, skewing more towards cliched archetypes rather than fully-fleshed out characters to cheer for, with the notable exception of Dillon who more or less steals the film as soon as he is introduced. Though admittedly, I am coming into the series in the fourth film, I did find Andrew to be fairly compelling, particularly as he was presented as such a punching bag despite what appeared to be some massive trauma.
Joe Bob was particularly effusive in his praise for the film, which is fair given the level of talent attached to it and present on the set. He gave the film the four-star treatment, but he was not above poking fun at the title a bit. We again have a bit of a Demons situation on hand here. Are we going to see Victor Crowley 2, or will we jump to Hatchet 5? Who knows?
Most of the host segments revolved around the continually growing list of guests and the running gag was quite fun. The amount of talent present was absurd: Felissa Rose, director Adam Green, Kane Hodder, Tiffany Shepis, and Brian Quinn all had their moment to share their thoughts on the film, and there was a great amount of rapport between everyone. What was amazing is that it never got chaotic. It would be crazy to ask the team at The Last Drive-In to pull off such a feat again, but what is The Last Drive-In if not a tribute to excess?
Perhaps the best host segments of the night represented the show running on two different ends. The first was a very intimate and frank discussion on the craft of film with Adam Green. He clutched Ernie, the resident Drive-In mascot, and talked at length about the struggles of making a horror film like the type that the Hatchet series is evoking in spirit. It was a wonderful moment of vulnerability from a talent and a level of insight that seems to come easily around Joe Bob Briggs. This is the sort of horror-nerd end of the Drive-In experience when it comes to host segments, frank, sometimes ugly, sometimes emotional discussions about how the screwed up things we love get made.
The other end of the Drive-In experience was one of emotion and community when Darcy brought out an emotional letter from a fan about his own experiences sharing Joe Bob’s older shows with his father. As these things go, the father eventually passed, but the feelings of love remain even today, as the author describes sometimes talking to his dad when watching the show now. It’s all very powerful and is just another one of those examples of the sort of camaraderie that has sprung from the community.
We know there is more of The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs coming, but the horror community as a whole would be well served if Shudder recognizes the show for what it is: a communal touchstone and institution. The smart move is to keep it running for as long as Joe Bob, Darcy, and the rest of the family feel they need to.
Victor Crowley was a great premiere. It’s a quality film and even if Shudder could not show the unedited version, it was still just the right amount of nasty for the night. I feel comfortable giving Victor Crowley four Cthulhus. I do have some issues with it, but for my first Hatchet experience, I am intrigued and wish to see the other films.
(4 / 5)
Best Line: “Ten years later, you are like the O.J. Simpson of Honey Island Swamp. Wouldn’t you say?” – Sabrina to Andrew
Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals
As per tradition, we gotta relay those Drive-In Totals. Thanks for providing them as Tweets, Shudder!
Also tradition? Our own totals! Let’s see what I have in my handy notebook, shall we?
- 2 MST3K Alumns in TLDI (Baron Vaughn and Jonah Ray)
- 5 Sleepover Guests
- 6 Severed Heads
- 9 names in Joe Bob’s list of the Greatest Texas Musicians
- $12,000 Pimple Effect Budget
- $400,000 Real Budget
- Dead Bird
- Suburban Terror
- Swamp People
- 80s Overload
- Topless Boyfriends
- Aborted Axe Throw
- Surprise PeeWee
- Killer Karaoke
- MPAA Blues
- Mangled Vagina
- Verbal Massacre
- Gratuitous Sing-A-Longs
- Gratuitous Slumber Party Girl Fight
- Gratuitous First Marathon Rememberances
- Gratuitous Emotional Letter
- Freudian Fu
- Awkward Genitalia to Light Fixture Grinding Fu
- Chicken Fu
- Gratuitous First-Half Joking
- Ernie Holding Fu
- Aggressive Fisting Fu
- Suicide Dive Fu
- Yuki Sightings: 1
- Silver Bolo Award: Cinamassacre
- Darcy Cosplay: No cosplay, but a very open set of pajamas.
Episode Score
A fun night with a cult classic, a Shudder premiere, and the world’s tiniest pajama top. What’s not to love?
(4.5 / 5)
With any luck, we’ll be meeting up again for another event in October, but until then why not check out some of the other content here at Haunted MTL?
Episode four of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was a great one for character development. It was also great because one of my personal favorite actors was involved.
Let’s discuss.
The story
This episode’s story revolved largely around Lucy and The Ghoul. He’s still dragging her about on a rope, but we aren’t sure why. While she can track the Head, she certainly hasn’t shared that information with the Ghoul.
What he wants her for soon becomes clear, when he barters her for vials of the medication that keeps him from losing himself to the ghoul illness.
At first, Lucy thinks this is a step up. She’s taken by a robot surgeon named Snip Snip to get a new thumb. Since, you know, The Ghoul shot her thumb off.
However, after stitching a new thumb on, Snip Snip takes her to his masters. Who then say they want him to cut her up for her organs.
Lucy manages to escape and even frees the other people trapped by these organ brokers. In doing so, she comes into the possession of many, many of those vials that The Ghoul needs so desperately.
Meanwhile, Norm is starting to suspect that all is not what it should be in Vault 33. While the rest of the vault is preparing to elect a new overseer, he takes Chet and sneaks off to Vault 32. There, they find some horrific sights. Long dead bodies, next to messages scrawled in blood. There are especially bodies around the door that leads to Vault 31, where someone has written We Know What’s in There on the wall.
Of course, we don’t know what’s in there. But I’m sure we’re going to find out.
Norm continues to dig, checking for information on the old Overseer’s computer. And he finds that the door to Vault 32 was opened by a Pip-Boy. To be specific, it was a Pip-Boy owned by Norm and Lucy’s mother.
I’m sure that won’t be relevant later.
What worked
The more I see of this season, the more I like Lucy. She is growing and evolving as a person, just like Wilzig told her she would have to do. She is becoming harder. But her kindness and values haven’t changed yet. She is still a good person. I love that.
I also love the dark, creepy storyline with Norm. I love how serious he is, especially when compared to the rest of his community. I especially love that, even as emotionally disturbed he is by what he’s learning, he seems passionate. And from what we’ve seen of this character, this is possibly the first thing he’s felt passionate about his entire life. I am impressed with the writing and acting that have allowed us to see his lack of passion with minimal focus. He is a fun, well-written character.
Finally, I’d like to shine the spotlight on Matt Berry. He is a delightful actor known for What We Do in the Shadows and IT Crowd. And he is playing the remarkably funny role of Snip Snip, the robot surgeon. His voice lends an extra level of humor to an already funny premise. This was another example of the great casting we’ve seen so far on Fallout.
In the end, this was a great episode from all points. It was fun, heartfelt, and dark. In short, I have no notes. I’m only excited to see what happens in the next episode.
(4 / 5)
The finale of American Horror Story Delicate aired last night. And if you were watching along with us on Threads, then you already know that it didn’t live up to any of my expectations.
Let’s discuss.
The story
We begin with Anna being ushered off stage and into an ambulance. Dex is there because Siobhan called him.
Once in the ambulance, though, the blood starts to spill. And it’s not just Anna’s. She soon finds herself in the clutches of the coven, giving birth in the most anxiety-inducing place possible. And when the baby is born, he’s taken away at once.
Because that’s the agreement that Anna made, without fully realizing what she was agreeing to.
If Anna’s going to get her baby back, she’s going to have to make another sacrifice. She is going to have to join the coven herself. Is she strong enough to do it? Is she strong enough to raise a monster?
What worked
This episode did have some fun elements. As a practicing witch myself, I appreciate the addition of Hestia in a positive light. Especially when this season was so focused on motherhood, womanhood, and sisterhood, Hestia was a lovely goddess to include.
For those who don’t know, Hestia is a goddess of the home and hearth, but not a maternal goddess. She was, in fact, a virgin goddess. So Adeline’s devotion to her made sense in a real-world witchcraft way. Adeline was supposed to be a symbol of female love and support. Including Hestia in this made that crystal clear.
This was made most clear with the behavior of Siobhan. She was a perfect example of a toxic person who uses sisterhood to use and manipulate others. This can be seen clearly in the flashback that begins this episode. We see Siobhan show kindness to Anna, who she wants to use while being cruel to the woman who shared her story at the start of the meeting. For Siobhan, kindness is a currency she spends to get something. And that is clear.
What didn’t work
Sadly, those two elements weren’t enough to save this episode. My first concern is that this ending had more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
This wasn’t just a matter of having questions left after the ending. These were elements that we should have seen and just didn’t. Why were the witches diluting and working with blood near the end of the episode? Why didn’t Dex Senior get what was coming to him? What the hell was with those pointed green heels? My largest question, however, is this.
Did Anna imagine all of this? Did any of it happen? We don’t know. Consider the ending. I don’t want to spoil too much of this, so I’ll only point out Anna’s gown. It’s bloody in one scene and newly clean the next. This is only the example I can share without spoiling the ending. But we have no proof that any of these things happened to her.
While it’s fine to leave some questions up to the viewer, there were too many here. Rather than feeling mysterious, it just felt incomplete. And seeing as how this episode was much shorter than a standard one, this could have easily been corrected.
I would also like to hold some space for how this season ruined the good message of the book Delicate Condition. This novel was bloody, gory, and disturbing. But it also had a beautiful message about sisterhood, and women supporting women through motherhood, career choices, and life in general. There is so much pure, sisterly love in that book.
This is entirely missing from this season. It’s often turned on its head, with women betraying each other for their own selfish desires. And honestly, I hated that.
Finally, this season finale is another example of an ending ruining a good season. AHS Delicate wasn’t without its charm. Some episodes were great fun. There were elements that I truly enjoyed as a horror fan, a witch and a woman. But this ending just soured everything good about the season. It spoiled all of the enjoyment I had. Much like Sabrina, Dexter, and the podcast Dolores Roach, the ending ruined everything that came before it.
In the end, this finale was disappointing. It didn’t deliver on its promises, it did a disservice to the source material, and it was poorly executed. This series is more than capable of better. Delicate Condition, the novel, deserved a better interpretation.
However, as a long-time fan, I can honestly say that in twelve years of content, I have genuinely disliked a season and a half of American Horror Story. This one, and the second half of Double Feature. So while AHS Delicate was a disappointment, I am looking forward to season thirteen. In the meantime, I’m going to rewatch Coven and look forward to better stories to come.
(2 / 5)
Episode three of Amazon Prime’s Fallout continued the themes we’ve seen so far, with an added twist. With comedy and gore already blending, the story has added an air of tragic history for one of its least cuddly characters.
Let’s discuss.
The story
Our story starts with a flashback to before the bombs dropped. We see Coop, filming a movie. His wife is on set as well, and their adorable daughter. Coop has a comfortable life with a family he loves.
Isn’t that just a knife in the heart?
Back in the present, Lucy is traveling through the wastelands with the head of Wilzig. And she’s doing so with the same fear and joy that we’ve seen from her so far. Until that is, she runs into a Gulper. And after eating a defenseless deer, it swallowed up the head.
Eventually, The Ghoul catches up with Lucy and decides to capture her. After using her as bait, he decides to drag her along with him.
Meanwhile, Maximus gets a message from the Brotherhood of Steel. Rather than coming clean, he claims to be Knight Titus and is accidentally sent a new Squire. That squire is Thaddeus, one of Maximus’s bullies from the base. And Maximus wastes no time in taking some sweet, sweet revenge.
Finally, we return to Vault 33. The vault is healing from the Raider attack and the loss of Lucy. Norm and Chet are being punished for letting Lucy leave, by being fired from their jobs. This throws Chet because he had a cool job.
Norm, on the other hand, didn’t like his job. He didn’t like any job. So, since this is the only way anyone gets punishments in the vault, he’s given the task of feeding the Raiders.
And talking to the Raiders was maybe not a healthy thing for Norm to be doing. He might learn something he didn’t want to know.
What worked
The first thing I have to talk about is the massive creature called The Gulper.
This thing was fascinating. It was voracious, fast, and horrifying to look like. It was like a giant axolotl from Hell, with human fingers lining its whole mouth and throat. Why did it need fingers lining its mouth and throat? The better to drag someone down its throat and into its stomach. And the better to drag itself into my nightmares. This creature was well done.
On the flip side of this, I love the fact that the people of Vault 33 are so kind. They’re so willing to forgive, willing to care for their fellow man even when their fellow man is trying to kill them.
I don’t trust it, to be clear. But the perceived kindness from these people is uplifting. And I’m sure it will make whatever is going to eventually happen to them all the worse.
Of course, I can’t talk about the goodness of the vault dwellers without talking about the absolute horribleness of The Ghoul. The Ghoul is not a good person. He is cruel, and selfish, and clearly dislikes Lucy for some reason we do not yet know, and is probably not her fault.
But we kind of understand how he got that way, don’t we? During the flashbacks, we see that he’s lost his wife and daughter. We also see that he was used as a mascot for the very company that created the vaults. And, while we don’t have any concrete proof yet, we can probably guess that these are not the good guys. Even if we haven’t played the games, anyone who’s even slightly genre-savvy can already guess that.
Which is the last thing I want to bring up here.
We know something stinks with the vaults. Something beyond the obvious issues of wealth disparities and the people left outside to die while those who could afford a Vault spot were saved. Something is rotten with the vaults, we all know this. What we don’t know is what form this rot will take.
Not yet.
What didn’t work
Now, I wish I could say this was a perfect episode. But sadly, it wasn’t. And my biggest issue with the episode is with the character Maximus.
Now, I love Maximus. He wants to do good things in the world. He’s the underdog, and who doesn’t love that? He’s honorable and believes in the organization he belongs to.
I don’t love that he cannot do anything right. It feels like he wins fights by falling over and tripping into succeeding. And this character deserves so much more than that. Can we please, just once, see him be good at something or make a sound decision?
All that being said, this was still a fun episode. It was funny and bright, with an ominous feel and a horrific finger-ridden monster. I had a great time with it.
(4 / 5)
