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Welcome back to the Drive-In. This week Joe Bob joked about the lack of guests on the show and how this weekend’s feature would be received. Fans were fortunate to have an absolutely stacked back-to-back two weeks of fun guests, but there is something said to just having Joe Bob, Darcy, and the always vital Mangled Dick Expert Felissa Rose with us for the night. It’s another solid showing at The Last Drive-In this week.

This time we got two movies full of color, weirdness, and amazing music: Brain Damage (1988) and Deep Red (1975).

So, let’s dive in, shall we?

Brain Damage (1988)

Opening Rant: Joe Bob is not an Instagram fan.

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So, Frank Henenlotter’s Brain Damage is a pretty special movie. The movie is at least partially connected to the first marathon’s Basket Case (1982) by a fun cameo, but it is little more than a silly cameo. One of Henenlotter’s other films, Frankenhooker (1990), would be a nice future film for The Last Drive-In. Brain Damage itself would go on to add two sequels in 1990 and 1991.

The main thing about Brain Damage is that it is unbelievably fun. It’s a strange film that deals with themes of addiction by creating a golden-voiced brain slug monster that serves as the drug epidemic metaphor. Shockingly, it works well because it believes in itself enough to be goofy and still commit to the strange morality of it all.

It’s not a scary film, however. Sure, it is gory and hilarious, but the presence of a talking drug slug, whose origins are explained in an absurdly long backstory-bomb, just presents no real frights beyond vague feelings of anxiety around drug addition. The movie is cheeseballs, basically, but that’s fine because it is so entertaining. I mean, the movie plays its goofy card pretty blatantly by bringing in an (uncredited) John Zacherle as Aylmer, the mind-bending brain parasite.

Joe Bob gave this film a full 4 stars and I am inclined to agree that it is a very quality movie. The Aylmer puppet is a huge jump above Belial from Basket Case, and even then, the puppet is just goofy enough to let you buy into the movie in a way that a CGI Aylmer never could. The insights into the production provided by our venerable host were as great as ever, of course. In particular, though, the fourth break chronicles the origins of the tune of Aylmer’s little musical number. It proved appropriately historical, insightful, and slightly out of place like a good Joe Bob deep-dive, given the feature was about a drug slug. Another interesting fact dropped by Briggs, however, was the revelation of a “shooting subway” in NYC for film-production.

Brain Damage continues Joe Bob’s 4-star spoils this season on The Last Drive-In and it is definitely one of those films where I’d agree with him on a higher score. The film is not perfect but the movie is just too ridiculous and fun. I plan on re-watching it a couple more times as soon as I can. It’s that good. Brain Damage is a 5 Cthulhu film.

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5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

Best Line: “Yeah, but when it comes to blood in my underwear, I want to know how it got there.” – Brian to Aylmer

The sound mixing here is on point, fitting, as it is all ear trauma.

Deep Red (1975)

Opening Rant: Joe Bob talks the Getty Fire in LA.

Dario Argento’s Deep Red (or Profundo rosso for you Giallo nerds) is one of those huge moments in Giallo film that has become legendary and is perhaps held up on a pedestal of sorts. When held at a distance like that, as some sort of art, it tends to have imperfections overlooked. So much has been written about Argento’s film. Even what constitutes the real film is up for debate and is storied. After all, there are so many different versions floating around out there and the film has been hacked up more than some Giallo women.

There is so much weight attached to Deep Red that it may come off as sacrilege among some of the horror community to label it as a fine movie. It is definitely up there in Argento’s creative works. The film is entertaining and stylish. But it’s also a significantly flawed piece. It’s very much style over substance. I liken it to an extended high-art music video, and given the origins of the band Goblin from this film, that seems fitting. Sequences are not so much organic expressions of the narrative but rather cool moments set to Italian prog-rock, albeit some amazing prog-rock. It’s got pointlessly strange setpieces inconsistent with the actual story being told.

This is very much a movie to have to play in the background of a party, or just maybe sitting back with something to drink with the volume way up for that amazing Goblin score. This is not a movie for a satisfying story. It’s just not good. It’s fine.

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I am a Dario Argento fan, one of those Argentophiles that has written papers on some of his work. I totally understand how exhausting people like me can be. Joe Bob really sort of tore into Argento and his fans throughout the feature, which makes it puzzling that he awarded Deep Red a full 4 stars. This is where I feel I need to diverge from our Drive-In scholar. I don’t feel Deep Red is that great, nor do I feel Joe Bob Briggs’ assessment of it felt entirely truthful. Part of his assessment, at least to me, felt as though it was the equivalent of sugar-coating the bitter pill. Perhaps giving the movie the full Drive-In tally is symbolic, recognizing influence and legacy, but giving him some room to be honest about how up-their-own-asses some Argento fans can be regarding the movie.

The bits poking fun at the scholarship surrounding the movie throughout the feature were equally hilarious and pointed. As someone who has been up-his-own-ass about Argento’s work I felt a slight sting, of course; pointed glances from my girlfriend didn’t help. But I also really recognized the truth there. Just as there are Argento’s acolytes who write endlessly about Deep Red, I am one whose tastes align more toward Suspiria. I also recognize that I am a bit crazy about Suspiria, so the ego check provided by Briggs was welcome.

However, I firmly believe that diegetic sound has its merits in the discussion of film and no amount of teasing from the redneck vampire is going to change that.

Largely nonsensical and aesthetically stunning, Deep Red is a tough review, especially paired with a movie like Brain Damage that is itself largely nonsensical and aesthetically stunning. What separates the two is that one has an actual, thought out story between cool moments, and the other is just cool moments.

I can really only give Deep Red 3 and 1/2 Cthulhus out of 5.

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3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

Best Line: “Great! Really, that’s good. Very good. Maybe a bit too good… Too clean. Yes, too precise. Too… formal. It should be more trashy. See what I mean? Remember that this sort of jazz came out of the brothels.” – Marcus, the pretentious bitch-boy.

Thanks, I hate it.

HMTL Drive-In Totals

Shudder provides us with a handy recap of the totals for the two movies of the night.

But, what about our totals for the week?

  • 2 weeks of NYC subway scenes
  • 2 dirty bathrooms
  • 7 instances of brain listed in the drive-in totals
  • 7-million instances of “brain” being used in describing Brain Damage
  • 11 seconds (when the pre-show countdown ended and then relaunched at this point)
  • Surprise Eye
  • Surprise Robot Doll
  • Truck-Dragging Fu
  • Brat Smacking Fu
  • Drywall Scrapping Fu
  • Gratuitous Blue, Green, and Red
  • Gratuitous Goblin
  • Dick Mangling Expertise (thanks Felissa!)
  • History Lecturing
  • Ear Popping
  • Big Band Prostelyzing
  • Scholar Bashing
  • Cum Tripping
  • Door Bouncing
  • Butcher Joking
  • Polish Joking
  • Yuki Sighting
  • Darcy Jailing
  • Darcy Cosplay: Dungeon Girl
  • Silver Bolo Award: Dead Meat
Darcy has the weirdest boner.

Episode Score

Any Drive-In night is a good night, and this was very much a great, standard showing of the show. Perhaps relatively subdued in comparison to the first two nights with the amount of stuff that was going on, but those are exceptions and not the norm.

Tonight’s pairing was very interesting and I’d love to know more about why these movies were paired the way they were. It wasn’t as outlandish as last week’s double-feature, but there is something about seeing these two movies together that seems to be making a statement. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

Hey, see you next week during the double-feature, yes? Be sure to follow us on Twitter. I take it over on Friday nights during The Last Drive-In showing.

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Movies n TV

American Horror Stories, The Thing Under The Bed

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We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.

As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.

The story

We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.

Debby Ryan in American Horror Stories.

This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.

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What worked

In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.

Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.

This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.

Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.

It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.

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What didn’t work

I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.

I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.

All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

American Horror Stories, Leprechaun

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If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.

Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.

The story

We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.

We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.

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Hudson Oz in American Horror Stories Leprechaun.

Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.

What worked

The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.

I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.

I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

What didn’t work

That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.

Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.

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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.

Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.

There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.

3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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American Horror Stories, X

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It happened. It finally happened. We got another good episode of American Horror Stories.

The story

We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.

We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.

Mia Isaac in American Horror Stories.

Not like she’s happy about it.

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Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.

Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.

While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.

What worked

I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.

I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.

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Henry Winkler and Mia Isaac in American Horror Stories.

Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.

Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.

Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.

While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.

All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.

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There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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