Review: Mother’s Day Massacre (2007) is a Pissing Sausage Fest
Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! Sorry I’m late to the game, but I had five mother-things to call today and you know how much they like to talk.
But thank you to all the womb providers out there that gave humanity a gooey sac to bump around in until we triumphantly punch, kicked and bit our way out. Like in Twilight – that’s how it ends, right? No spoilers, people.
So, when my internet pooped out on me, I went to my lovely collection of my dvds (I’m a dvd prepper for these situations; you can’t trust Uncle Sam to give you high speed internet at all times) and lo and behold, found a Mother’s Day movie in my “cheap schlock” pile.
Hence, I present: Mother’s Day Massacre.
The Plot:
Your guess is as good as mine.
Jim is on the cusp of manhood, but is constantly emotionally abused by his over-bearing, hyper-macho Texan stereotype of a father. Never knowing his real mother, he does some research and finds clues to where she may be at.
Together with his friends, they find a ghost town and decide to get up to teenage shenanigans, only to find they aren’t alone. Thus begins the rampage and unraveling of so many secrets that were better off buried…
Thoughts:
Yes, I know. Yep. Uh-huh. Looks bad. Real bad.
And I’m not saying that it isn’t…but…I’m saying that they knew the tone walking into it and kept it consistent. They knew it was a short (almost 80 minutes), low-budget redneck-y slaughter-fest and kept it on the same level throughout (although Jim was blankly devoid of any Texan culture or flavor), down to the rockabilly jams and gopher-killing guns.
So, what I’m saying is, don’t judge it too quickly or harshly.
The Good:
The casting was actually really well done. The “kids” had genuine chemistry together that made it feel like they actually liked each other instead of being actors saying lines. Most of the actors have had a lot of acting under their belts and it shows. They knew to chew that scenery because that’s the type of movie this is. This is aragoto style of horror – loud, exaggerated, and rough around the edges. It’s in your face and they (especially Mel Gorham, Joe Coots and Greg Travis) executed this to a ‘T’. There was a good amount of energy to the whole movie and I think a lot of that came from the actors themselves.
Also, that flippin’ kid – Trevor Heins. That kid playing the typically old grizzled gas station attendant who spouts exposition was a cute and funny twist to the trope. As cheesy as it was, I enjoyed it incredibly.
There was also a great scene that came after the initial incident that is rarely seen in movies – the aftermath of surviving something horrific. We see how the remaining characters interact with each other after watching their friends die and how that changes them. Say what you will about the crassness of some of the scenes, but I thought this was a seldom explored little gem of a moment in storytelling and acting. Often at the end of every movie I watch, I rate how flipped they are for the rest of their lives if they survive, and this one actually answers that. It was a clever moment of writing and expression.
Good practical effects. They were scarce and probably cheap, but it was refreshing to see them…The CGI at the end…not so much.
And it had an ending I didn’t expect. It wasn’t a great ending, but it was a weird and wild one. Definitely a different turn (but was set up in a previous scene).
The Bad:
It would have been nice to see Jim as also a Texan, but a nice one? I mean, he lives with his dad in Texas, too, right? He can still be a quiet, calm, and sensitive heterosexual Texan male – I mean, there’s always Austin. But that bugged me a bit…Maybe that was something I didn’t hear or get.
The story was a bit jumbled as stated in the plot category. I think with some more story-boarding, it could have been smoother, but they may have been working with limited time or shoots that prevented more time being put into it. I know, it’s schlock, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be better schlock.
The biggest issue I guess I have is that the story had nothing to do with motherhood, really. It was all about dude-junk power, machismo, and pissing contests. Literally. There was peeing on people and things to establish a form of dominance more than once.
The main villains were males, including the killers (I consider them sub-villains), that sexually abused women. The whole movie is extremely dude-junk-centered. In fact, there is a scene in which one of the killers enters the home of his (male) victims with a raging and enormous…and the other….well, here’s a representation:
And that’s fine, but I think it would have been better as Father’s Day Massacre, especially as Jim’s father plays a huge role in this life and the consequences of this movie. So, if you’re looking for a womanhood-type thing, I would pass this up and watch Aliens, Silent Hill, or, if you want schlock, Jaws 3.
The ending with the police is super-fast, confusing, and weird. I didn’t hate it, but I thought that it could have been edited better (and please get better line reads from that cop, even if it takes all night of slapping him in the face with fish oil).
CGI gun shots…bad.
Brain Roll Juice:
For some reason, our killers are “hillbillies”. I forgot the actual wording of grizzled exposition kid, but that’s the gist. And we all know shorthand for hillbillies in horror movies…
Developmentally and intellectually disabled people.
As great as the actors are, it’s still at the expense of the DD population. It’s a trope, yeah, sure. But it’s one that gets under my skin. This movie is rife with sexual assaults, which is part of the story and movie, but putting someone with DD in the mix when people with DD are seven times higher to be assaulted just…makes it a little less fun.
As Nancy Thaler, a deputy secretary of Pennsylvania’s Department of Human Services, has stated,
“They are people who often cannot speak or their speech is not well-developed. They are generally taught from childhood up to be compliant, to obey, to go along with people. Because of the intellectual disability, people tend not to believe them, to think that they are not credible or that what they saying, they are making up or imagining.”
People with intellectual and developmental disabilities have been one of the most marginalized groups throughout history, experiencing forced sterilizations via legal action; denial of medical treatment; involuntary medical experimentation; mercy killings; physical and sexual abuses; neglect and homicides. In fact, one study showed that when it came to being murdered, the majority died as a result of neglect. This category included death by medical neglect and starvation. Can you imagine being cared about so little that you die from it?
Screw axes and chainsaws; slowly dying after a life of abuse, while not being able to speak or be believed, because society doesn’t care about you – that’s the real horror movie.
…Also, Latinas are not typically crazy, over-sexed, pot-growing, abusive brujas. Just throwing that out there (again, though, fun and campy performance by Mel Gorham).
Bottom-line:
Rockabilly b-slasher with a Texan drawl. Goofy and gory enough for a movie night or two, but nothing to really knock off them socks or rocks.
(2.7 / 5)
Movies n TV
Evil: “F is for Fire” (S2E3)
“F is for Fire” is an episode of the supernatural drama, Evil. The assessors investigate a pyromaniac for potential demonic possession.
“F is for Fire” is an episode of the supernatural drama, Evil, created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, Christine Lahti, and Andrea Martin. It originally aired under CBS before moving to Paramount+. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
The assessors investigate a pyromaniac for potential demonic possession. David (Mike Colter) brings Sister Andrea (Andrea Martin) into his circle of trust. Ben (Aasif Mandvi) remembers old Islamic stories of jinn. Kristen (Katja Herbers) meets an incredibly hot and mysterious figure. Sheryl (Christine Lahti) finds a therapist to work out her problems.
What I Like about Evil: “F is for Fire”
“F is for Fire” improves on Evil’s special effects, showing a renewed focus and competency in the area. The last season would likely use a more comical design, favoring tone over haunting the viewer with its budget. It helps that the design holds a haunting element to its fiery creature.
This episode introduces something outside the Christian/Catholic depiction, specifically relating to the Islamic jinn. This new element creates an understandable friction for the Catholic assessors. As Ben was raised Muslim and David’s Catholic teachings don’t permit the concept of jinn, it challenges both outside their comfort zone. Perhaps more so for Ben, who prides himself as an Atheist.
Either through trauma or evil influence, Kristen seems changed and impulsive. Her passionate pursuit of risks makes the viewer wonder how far she plans on going. With the introduction of her mysterious stranger, it seems a darker turn will soon follow.
While far from the darkest or most haunting episode Evil put to the screen, “F is for Fire” does suggest an unsettling new norm for the team. The plot also introduces a new supernatural villain who seems to create tangible harm beyond most of season 1’s earlier supernatural creatures. The stakes are greater now than ever, and “F is for Fire” aims to prove this to the viewer.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
There’s a wider theological friction within this episode, which I’ve mentioned earlier. This difference focuses on Islamic and Catholic understanding of spiritual forces and exorcisms. I am not versed enough to pretend to know if these are accurate portrayals, but I will expand on this point.
While not given much attention or focus, a demon sexually assaults a male character. Again, this lingers on the subjective state, but we know demons exist in this show by now, so the assaults feel less speculative and more real.
This episode continues flirting with infidelity that might irk some viewers. While nothing comes of this plot yet, the implications seem to suggest something will happen.
What I Dislike about Evil: “F is for Fire”
Sheryl’s attempted manipulation of another character seems awkwardly unnecessary and overly dramatic. I assume this act intends to show her manipulative character, which “F is for Fire” certainly adds to, but it does look like an attempt to connect two characters to fill time.
The jinn description is so minute that I don’t see how Ben came to any conclusion outside of a typical demon. A more detailed description might make Ben’s conclusion more reasonable to the viewer.
David’s claim that jinn are not of God and thus can’t exist which isn’t exactly true. From my understanding of Muslim lore, angels, jinn, and humans are of God and capable of good and evil. Perhaps a more accurate claim might suggest things outside the bible cannot exist.
Final Thoughts
“F is for Fire” tempts the assessors in new ways, sparking some unsettling weaknesses for Evil to rise. It continues layering the overarching plot and building the personal trials facing each character. While not the most haunting episode, “F is for Fire” nurtures a coming flame by building atop tension.
(3 / 5)
Hello everyone and Happy October! It’s time for some spooky goodness and terrifying treats. And of course at HauntedMTL, it’s our favourite time of the year.
That being said, this review is a long time coming.
I first had the pleasure of viewing LAST ONE ALIVE’s Michigan premier at Motor City Nightmares, a horror convention and film festival. In the audience was writer and director David Axe and star Caylin Sams to promote the film and answer questions.
And since I was fashionably late to the movie, I asked Axe if it was possible to snag a screener to watch the full movie and, well, here we are.
So, enjoy this rare spoiler-free review.
The Plot of ONE LEFT ALIVE:
Sara (Sams) is the lone survivor of a brutal massacre of her friends in the woods one fateful night.
And where most movies end here, ONE LEFT ALIVE begins.
Burdened by survivor’s guilt, police suspicion, newly found fame and growing nihilism, Sara navigates the world and her memories after the attack. Trying to regain her sanity and find out why she was the only one left alive, Sara keeps going back to the woods, searching for answers…or maybe her own ending.
Thoughts of ONE LEFT ALIVE:
LEFT ONE ALIVE is a unique film. It’s a slow-burn independent drama where the horror isn’t so much what’s out in the woods but picking up the pieces of a life interrupted by tragedy.
But that isn’t to say that it’s devoid of humor.
Writing
The writing swings between clichéd to clever, and sometimes to cleverly clichéd. There’s quite a bit of meta humor, but it’s not irritatingly so. It’s more through the perspective of Sara instead of any grand sweeping statements. There’s a point in LEFT ONE ALIVE where the actress playing Sara in a movie (Lorelei Linklater) confronts her for material and motivation. Sara becomes an on-looker of the film, watching another woman play the person who she had to become on the worst night of her life. We see her seeing the fake creatures (tubbies) that the fake film’s effects department created and realizing that her experiences are just being exploited.
But during these scenes, there’s humor mixed in. She punches the actress when she gets annoyed with the questioning, but only grows closer to her. Dating the actress afterwards in a strange relationship
Also, when seeing the fake Tubbies (the monsters) for the first time, she was really vocal about their missing…appendages. Dangly appendages.
Acting and Cast
However, some of the most genuine scenes came when Sara was with her sister, Sam (Rachel Tracy). The acting throughout ONE LEFT ALIVE can be slightly stilted. However, it shines brightest between Sams and Tracy, showing the bond of their sisterhood and the love they share. It felt very natural and organic, really achieving some of the best moments of the film.
For such a tight budget, Axe really was able to use a lot of resources. The casting was really impressive, having both seasoned and new actors including Rachel Petsiavas, Alex Javo, the delightful Sanethia Dresch, and Raj Karottukunnel.
Cinematography
Sarah Massey produced, shot and edited the film, and took risks with some of the shots. However, the risk paid off, not only keeping the story and perspectives interesting, but also reminded me of the art of cinematography.
It’s not often when a movie reminds me that yes, this is a moving picture. Each scene should be expressed in a way that suits the theme, mood and acting. I don’t want to sound old and be like, “movies these days…” But here we are. I am old and also, movies these days. Cinematic shots are meant to serve as a kind of shorthand for what the audience is meant to be feeling – what the expression of the film is and inside the minds of our characters (i.e., long shots to show the character is feeling alone or overwhelmed, etc.). Cinematography 101 stuff.
One shot in LEFT ONE ALIVE that was clever and simple to execute was when Sara goes missing and her sister, Sam, is waiting at home, pacing back and forth. The camera moves with her as other characters are sitting down. The motion follows her unease, focusing only on her and her fear that something horrible has happened. Again. The audience experiences this unease with her as we, too, pace with her.
Music
Also, the music in LEFT ONE ALIVE – color me impressed. It’s often that I’ll watch a horror movie and either the music is too jarring (looking at you, Longlegs) or just doesn’t fit because it’s thrown in without relating to the movie itself. Tyler Matthews does an incredible job at adding to the scene than detracting from it in a careful balance. The music is never too intrusive as to divert attention away from the acting or cinematography, nor does it overstay its welcome. The editing and sound design were clever with when to have silence, music, and natural sound. It’s a difficult balance to do and LEFT ONE ALIVE is a shining example of how to do it right.
Critiques
The only critiques that I have are, as mentioned, the acting can be stilted. Some of the bigger concepts (like finding the new species, making a film within a film, and the legal/media issues) will need you to suspend your disbelief a bit. And as much as I love a slow-burn, some of scenes could have been cut down (like the uber ride).
BRAINROLL JUICE:
For this section I was going to talk about PTSD and dogmen, but then while researching for this review, I saw something I’d rather talk about more.
This movie was one of the last films with actor Raj Karottukunnel, who passed away in April of this year. He was very young (40 is young, trust me) and left behind two daughters. It’s evident he was extremely loved by those who knew him and he will be missed greatly.
There is a gofundme for his daughters for a college fund for them: Fundraiser by Rejani Nedumchira : Raj’s Princess Warriors (gofundme.com)
Sometimes when we watch movies, especially independent movies, we forget how fucking hard it is to make a film. It takes time. Work. Talent. Ambition. A lot of luck. Everyone goes an extra mile because it’s a small crew and it’s a dream that they have. They get to live it, but it takes a lot of effort.
It’s easy to forget there’s a forest through the trees and that these are all people. People with hopes and dreams and fears and whole other lives. Maybe they’re in front of the camera, maybe they’re directing the camera, or maybe they’re like my production assistant friend throwing dirt on actors for a civil war history show. But they all have a home and a family to go back to at the end of the day. And it’s incredibly sad when they don’t get to.
So, I guess this is just my soapbox to remind fans to be kind. Remember to be grateful and gracious of the people who are part of this very cool thing that we love and care about. Horror is, ironically, about community. About a place to belong, even in our darkest moments, even when we’re weird and gross. Let’s keep it weird and gross and lovely and, above all, kind.
BOTTOMLINE:
Even though it’s not in distribution yet, when it is and you’re looking for something a little different in your horror repertoire, I would highly suggest LEFT ONE ALIVE.
(4 / 5)
We’ve reached episode five of Marvel’s Agatha All Along. And after last week’s bombshell reveal, I expected some serious answers.
I’m happy to say we got them.
The story
We begin our episode again on The Road. But now, for the first time, the coven is not alone. They’re being hunted by a terrifying group of witches called the Salem Seven. Trapped, they craft brooms and take off into the air.
This only allows them to escape for a few moments, but a few moments is all they need to get into the relative safety of the next challenge house.
There, they find themselves in a sleepover. This is Agatha’s challenge. And of course, Agatha’s challenge is that she has to face the ghosts of her past—the literal ghosts, including the ghosts of her mother and her son.
While they do get out of the challenge, they leave someone behind. Agatha, having shown her true colors again, reveals that she knows who Teen is finally.
And by the end, so do we.
What worked
I want to begin by talking about The Salem Seven. Because they are creepy as hell.
The way they move is fantastic. Their strange, jerky movements are unnerving enough to get under just about anyone’s skin. But knowing who they are, and why they hate Agatha, lends an additional level of emotional trauma.
I also really liked that this challenge took place in a sleepover. Even better, a sleepover in the late eighties, early nineties. As anyone who attended a girl’s sleepover during that time will tell you, those got witchy even if no one at the party associated with being a witch. There were ouija boards. There was fortune telling. There was calling on evil demons, like Bloody Mary and Candy Man. I may or may not have been a part of a game of Light as a Feather, Stiff As A Board in which a friend was dropped on the concrete basement floor. The point is, sleepovers get witchy and I appreciate the acknowledgment. I also liked that the rules regarding the Ouija board were pretty well spot on.
And pretty well ignored as soon as Teen spoke them.
Speaking of Teen, he is just about done with everyone’s catty behavior. And I mean everyone, including Agatha. His opinion of her seems to have greatly changed since the beginning of this journey. And he has clearly had enough.
Rio and Agatha’s relationship has also changed. It’s fascinating to see Rio be so protective of Agatha, while at the same time still ready and raring to kill her. While I’m not sure that’s the healthiest relationship, it kind of seems to work for them.
What didn’t work
All of that being said, there was one glaring problem with this episode. And it is, unfortunately, Agatha.
We’ll recall that Agatha, at the start of this season, wasn’t a good person. She was not a good person in Wandavision, so that shouldn’t be surprising. I will again remind everyone that Agatha killed Sparky.
But by this time in the season, I would have expected her to have had some character growth. And that is not what we are seeing here. It appears that Agatha is just as selfish, just as fast-talking, and just as cruel as she’s ever been.
And that is just not what we wanted. If we get to the end of the season and Agatha hasn’t grown, then it’s going to feel like a cheat. While the adventures along The Road are fun, I don’t think that’s what we’re all here for. At least it’s not what I’m here for.
Let’s hope we start seeing some character growth next week. Otherwise, this whole journey is going to feel worthless.
(3.5 / 5)
