Welcome again, Drive-In Mutants, to the second week of Drive-In recaps we call “Notes from The Last Drive-In.” As before, we’re covering each double-feature that makes up an episode of Shudder‘s original series The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs. We cover some of Joe Bob’s observations, the films themselves, and then provide the Haunted MTL review for each movie.
So, let’s go!
Q (The Winged Serpent) (1982)
We can’t start the recap without noting the memorial to Larry Cohen (July 15, 1936 – March 23, 2019) at the start of the episode. Larry Cohen was a huge figure in independent horror and many of his films are bound to make for great future episodes of The Last Drive-In. Cohen was a brilliant writer, director, and producer and the world of horror has really lost a great icon. Joe Bob has a great deal to say about Larry Cohen throughout the episode.
In Joe Bob’s words, Q, also known as Q – The Winged Serpent, is “the best movie in history about a flying-type lizard.” This film, directed by Larry Cohen, is a strong 4 star drive-in film. Among some of the notable elements Joe Bob talks about during the breaks are the network of old school, tough guy actors Larry Cohen worked with, including Michael Moriarty. We were also regaled with stories of Cohen’s existing friendship with David Carradine (R.I.P.) back in the army as entertainers. Most importantly, however, we learn that Larry Cohen gave no fucks, such as actually firing automatic weapons off the Chrysler Building during the shoot for Q, and even flying a goddamn helicopter between the World Trade Center towers.
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Q, released in 1982, is a fantasy horror film about New York City under siege from a deadly, winged lizard that hunts for humans during the day. The film stars Michael Moriarty, David Carradine, and Richard Roundtree. Moriarty is particularly fantastic in the film, and the scene where he extorts the city for the location of Q’s nest is a magnetic performance. It is also unique to have a horror film that takes place near entirely in daylight.
As for the Haunted MTL rating, Q is a 4 star film, hands down. The film is great in its own right with many amazing moments and a certain streak of self-awareness that can be found in a number of Cohen’s films. It is not perfect, after all, few movies are. The ritual sacrifice subplot, for example, is laughably bad and has little impact on the overall film beyond a small twist for the ending. Jimmy Quinn’s piano scene is also just strange. What makes Q such a great movie are the little things, such as Shelly Desai as the cult figure who just sort of pops up at the end. You may recognize him as Charlie’s landlord in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Plus… there is a chase scene with a cop dressed as a mime.
Best line: “New York is famous for good eating.”
Society (1989)
There is just something to the idea of the rich eating the poor as a genesis to a good horror film, isn’t there? Joe Bob points out a number of films with this theme, but this one is the only one on that list the depicts “shunting.” Not aware of what shunting is? You will by the end of Society. Society is another 4 star drive-in entry according to Joe Bob, and he has a lot to say about the film, orgies, and director Brian Yuzna. Perhaps the biggest takeaway from this episode may not be a particular factoid from the film, but rather that Joe Bob is possibly a third wave feminist, or that Darcy has seen some really fucked up stuff in some L.A. orgies. Don’t worry, though, there is still a lot of fantastic info to be learned, such as how Brian Yuzna and Stuart Gordon were set to work on Disney’s Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Yep. This was a weird episode.
Society is a 1989 film about a Beverly Hills teenager who makes a horrifying discovery about his family and the social class he is part of. This body horror film features astounding special effects work by legendary artist Screaming Mad George. The film features Billy Warlock, Devin DeVasquez, Evan Richards, and Ben Meyerson. It also features what seems to be about 50 gallons of lubricant for the shunting. This was the first movie directed Brian Yuzna who until this point what best known as a producer.
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As for the Haunted MTL rating, Society is good, very good, and we rate it 3.5 stars. The shunting scene is worth the price of admission alone, as is the “tactical fisting” scene. The only issue with society is that there is a lot of plot to get to the main point of the film – the pile of flesh that is the Beverly Hills elite. Some elements of the film are just sort of there and are unexplained, such as Clarrissa’s mom. Still, these are minor quibbles. Any film that features the protagonist pulling someone’s head through their own asshole (we think, it might also have been through his dick) is an automatic drive-in legend.
Best Line: “Paranoid? I’m not paranoid, all my fears are real.” I mean, we’re fudging this a bit. The best line is “First we dine, then copulation,” but Joe Bob already claimed it.
Haunted MTL’s Drive-In Totals
Like last week, we’ve tracked some of our own totals we think you might appreciate:
We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.
As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.
The story
We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.
This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.
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What worked
In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.
Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.
This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.
Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.
It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.
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What didn’t work
I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.
I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.
All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.
If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.
Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.
The story
We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.
We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.
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Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.
What worked
The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.
I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.
I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
What didn’t work
That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.
Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.
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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.
Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.
There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.
We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.
We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.
Not like she’s happy about it.
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Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.
Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.
While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.
What worked
I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.
I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.
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Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.
Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.
Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.
While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.
All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.
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There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.
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