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Haha, what the Hell, folks. What just happened? Please let us know you’re okay and not turning into sentient industrial junkyard.

Oh, and welcome to Notes from The Last Drive-In.

Mayhem (2017)

Opening Rant: Evading taxes with creative accounting.

Tonight was not my first experience with Joe Lynch’s Mayhem. One of my first reviews on the site way back last year was for the Shudder exclusive, a review, coincidentally, written on my birthday. I was particularly effusive with my praise of the film, and I had maybe seen it one other time since. Does it still hold up?


Hell yes it does.

Mayhem is a very fun, energetic film with a simple plot but is still incredibly satisfying. The pairing of Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving is one I am eager to see again and it’d be great if they were reunited with Joe Lynch, who has a fun little cameo as an IT guy. It’s not a deep film, and it is not my favorite “tower” film out there, but it is one that I can probably watch at least a couple of times a month. It just clicks. It has a great score, it has some fun fights, just enough gore, and just about every character delivers something cool, shocking, or repulsively capitalistic.

Joe Bob’s assessment was fair. He gave the film three stars and his criticisms, the legitimate ones at least, make sense. As bold and assertive as the film is at times, it also feels equally reticent to really dig into violence. Sure, there is on-camera sex (apparently the Serbian extras just went for it, hard) and plenty of blood, but the lack of kill shots for major characters feels lacking. It is sometimes said that the mind makes horrors greater than any filmed moment, but that doesn’t really seem to be the case here. Significant deaths seem to happen off-screen and any violence displayed stops just short of the actual moment of death.

It’s a strange thing to talk about, particularly given what is going on in the world (talk about a timely movie for this season, too). A film like Mayhem is in many ways a form of catharsis. It is violent, stylish, and scratches an itch for a desire to just wreck stuff, but the reluctance to go further feels like a misstep.

Most of the criticism lobbed at the film was tongue-in-cheek. Joe Lynch is a big fan of The Last Drive-In and often live-tweets his reaction to the episodes. The back and forth between the screen and twitter accounts was truly hilarious and the show could benefit from having him on as a guest in the future.


As for my own assessment, I still very much enjoy Mayhem and it’s worth many, many re-watches. Sure, I wish it were a little bloodthirstier, but I cannot fault the film too greatly for it. After all, though it was filmed in Serbia we certainly don’t need another Serbian Film. Mayhem is a four and a half Cthulhu film. 4.5 out of 5 stars (4.5 / 5)

Best Line: “No, Derek. This – this – this meditation & this incense, it’s all bullshit. You think I like the taste of kale? Come on! I’m fucking dead inside.” – Ewan

Rough day at the office?

Testuo: The Iron Man (1989)

Opening Rant: Cyberpunk and whatever the hell Tetsuo is.

What the actual Hell? If The Last Drive-In wanted to open Pride month with a weird, oddball film, well, they absolutely nailed it. And then shoved those nails deep into the thighs of viewers all over the internet.

Tetsuo: The Iron Man might be the cultiest of the cult films that has ever aired on the show. Shin’ya Tsukamoto’s film, at least the aired cut, is just over an hour in length but may still be a bit much for the average viewer. The best way to describe the film is that it is like cyberpunk exploration of sexuality, technology, and the guilt/pain of coming out, particularly when the coming out is motivated by trauma. I think I have a handle on the film, but I can’t really be sure. I don’t know if I can be sure of anything anymore.


I hesitate to call it a “film” in the sense that we are used to as viewers of The Last Drive-In. That is not an indictment of the quality, Testuo is well shot, edited, and is absolutely striking, but more an observation that the material skews a bit too arthouse in my opinion. It’s like an extended art project. Yes, a narrative is there, a character grows, and you get some sense of closure, but so much of what surrounds that seems to be experiments in visual and audio to the detriment of compelling storytelling.

I am glad to have finally really watched Tetsuo beyond clips at goth clubs but I don’t know if I really feel it is something I feel compelled to explore further unless I am perhaps under some form of chemical stimulation.

Joe Bob’s assessment of the film is particularly hilarious. You can tell he admires the artistry that had gone into it, and his own knowledge of the punk scene of the 1980s endears him to me even further. But perhaps the oddity of Testuo is best summarized at the moment where Joe Bob Briggs waffles between one star and four stars several times, essentially hedging his bets and telling his audience that even he knows that this is a weird one.

It was a weird, hilarious watch with the MutantFam and even resulted in a guest appearance from mangled-dick expert Felissa Rose. The Last Drive-In has had a few oddball films during its run. It just seems very striking they all seem to come from Japan.

While I can’t say that I am in love with Tetsuo: The Iron Man, I can say I am glad I experienced it. I may even experience it again sometime, but I’ll probably be on something when I do. Given that, I don’t think I can go higher than two Cthulhus for the film, a cyberpunk-pillar that it may be.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

Best Line: “Together, we can turn this fucking world to rust!” – Metal Fetishist

I don’t know, either.

Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals

As per usual, the Drive-In totals for a Japanese film are suitably bonkers. But extra credit to Mayhem for “Dead Body Pissing.”

What about our totals? A little lacking this week, admittedly. I was too taken in by the madness that was Tetsuo: The Iron Man.

  • 1 Darcy Jailing
  • 2 Level Cards
  • 2 Very Enthused Extras
  • Elevator Antics
  • Basement Bash
  • 2×4 Fu
  • Yuki Fu
  • Tunnel Running Fu
  • Black and White Fu
  • Director Cameo Fu
  • Drilldo Fu
  • Exploding Acne
  • Office Aardvarking
  • Mouth Macing
  • Cocaine-Fueled Club Swinging
  • Joe Bob Stumping
  • Director Insulting
  • Divorced Barbie Joking
  • Alaskan Whorehouse Joking
  • Gratuitous Ernie Parody
  • Gratuitous Flashback
  • Darcy Cosplay: Melanie
  • Silver Bolo Winner: Witch Finger Podcast
Armed and ready.

Episode Score

A general crowd favorite film paired with such an oddball Japanese choice is probably going to be a bit divisive overall. It also was the shortest episode of The Last Drive-In yet, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Testuo was rough. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

Please join us next time when we live-tweet The Last Drive-In. It’s always a blast and we’ve had more of our writers pop in with each episode so you don’t have to put up with me alone.

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Movies n TV

Fallout, The Head



Episode three of Amazon Prime’s Fallout continued the themes we’ve seen so far, with an added twist. With comedy and gore already blending, the story has added an air of tragic history for one of its least cuddly characters.

Let’s discuss.

The story

Walton Goggins in Fallout.

Our story starts with a flashback to before the bombs dropped. We see Coop, filming a movie. His wife is on set as well, and their adorable daughter. Coop has a comfortable life with a family he loves.

Isn’t that just a knife in the heart?

Back in the present, Lucy is traveling through the wastelands with the head of Wilzig. And she’s doing so with the same fear and joy that we’ve seen from her so far. Until that is, she runs into a Gulper. And after eating a defenseless deer, it swallowed up the head.


Eventually, The Ghoul catches up with Lucy and decides to capture her. After using her as bait, he decides to drag her along with him.

Meanwhile, Maximus gets a message from the Brotherhood of Steel. Rather than coming clean, he claims to be Knight Titus and is accidentally sent a new Squire. That squire is Thaddeus, one of Maximus’s bullies from the base. And Maximus wastes no time in taking some sweet, sweet revenge.

Finally, we return to Vault 33. The vault is healing from the Raider attack and the loss of Lucy. Norm and Chet are being punished for letting Lucy leave, by being fired from their jobs. This throws Chet because he had a cool job.

Norm, on the other hand, didn’t like his job. He didn’t like any job. So, since this is the only way anyone gets punishments in the vault, he’s given the task of feeding the Raiders.

And talking to the Raiders was maybe not a healthy thing for Norm to be doing. He might learn something he didn’t want to know.


What worked

The first thing I have to talk about is the massive creature called The Gulper.

This thing was fascinating. It was voracious, fast, and horrifying to look like. It was like a giant axolotl from Hell, with human fingers lining its whole mouth and throat. Why did it need fingers lining its mouth and throat? The better to drag someone down its throat and into its stomach. And the better to drag itself into my nightmares. This creature was well done.

The Gulper from Fallout.

On the flip side of this, I love the fact that the people of Vault 33 are so kind. They’re so willing to forgive, willing to care for their fellow man even when their fellow man is trying to kill them.

I don’t trust it, to be clear. But the perceived kindness from these people is uplifting. And I’m sure it will make whatever is going to eventually happen to them all the worse.

Of course, I can’t talk about the goodness of the vault dwellers without talking about the absolute horribleness of The Ghoul. The Ghoul is not a good person. He is cruel, and selfish, and clearly dislikes Lucy for some reason we do not yet know, and is probably not her fault.


But we kind of understand how he got that way, don’t we? During the flashbacks, we see that he’s lost his wife and daughter. We also see that he was used as a mascot for the very company that created the vaults. And, while we don’t have any concrete proof yet, we can probably guess that these are not the good guys. Even if we haven’t played the games, anyone who’s even slightly genre-savvy can already guess that.

Which is the last thing I want to bring up here.

We know something stinks with the vaults. Something beyond the obvious issues of wealth disparities and the people left outside to die while those who could afford a Vault spot were saved. Something is rotten with the vaults, we all know this. What we don’t know is what form this rot will take.

Not yet.

What didn’t work


Now, I wish I could say this was a perfect episode. But sadly, it wasn’t. And my biggest issue with the episode is with the character Maximus.

Now, I love Maximus. He wants to do good things in the world. He’s the underdog, and who doesn’t love that? He’s honorable and believes in the organization he belongs to.

I don’t love that he cannot do anything right. It feels like he wins fights by falling over and tripping into succeeding. And this character deserves so much more than that. Can we please, just once, see him be good at something or make a sound decision?

All that being said, this was still a fun episode. It was funny and bright, with an ominous feel and a horrific finger-ridden monster. I had a great time with it.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

American Horror Story Delicate, Little Gold Man



Last night’s episode of American Horror Story Delicate was wild. From its star-studded start to its powerfully quiet finish, I was enthralled through every moment.

Let’s discuss.

The story

We begin this episode at the funeral of Dex’s mom. While he’s giving a eulogy, which was very nice, Ms. Preecher walks in. She shouts to the room that Virginia didn’t commit suicide, she was murdered. She also tells Dex to listen to his wife.


What a concept!

Touched by this, or maybe just curious, Anna goes to the hospital to check on Preecher. She falls asleep at the hospital. When she wakes up, Preecher is gone. A nurse says that she was discharged to a group of women.

While at the hospital, Anna also discovers that she’s been nominated for best actress.

Kim Kardashian in American Horror Story Delicate.

At a publicity event for the awards, Anna runs into Cora. And she sees the coat she remembers from her late-night visit near the start of her pregnancy.

With the slightest amount of pressure, Cora spills it all. She and Dex have been having an affair, and Cora was trying to sabotage Anna’s pregnancy. So Anna, channeling her inner Madison Montgomery, kicks him out and heads to the awards ceremony with Siobhan.

There, Siobhan asks her if she wants an Oscar more than anything. If she’d be willing to give up anything for it.


And Anna says yes.

The bargain is then sealed with a kiss.

Kim Kardashian and Emma Roberts in American Horror Story Delicate.

What worked

I’d like to begin, paradoxically, at the end of the episode. We’ve seen Anna have some terrible, loud, frightening hallucinations in this season. At least, we assume they’re hallucinations. But this one wasn’t loud. It was, in fact, very quiet. Anna is led off stage, without a word, leaving nothing but a puddle of blood behind.

In horror, like in all art, the notes you don’t play are as important as the ones you do. And the notes that weren’t played her rang like a bell.

I also appreciated that this episode describes why being a celebrity would be a huge pain in the ass. Imagine going to an event where the whole purpose is for people to take pictures of you while holding their product. Imagine if they invaded your personal space, sprayed things on you, put things over your eyes, and you were expected to smile and pose.


I don’t know what it is about being a celebrity that makes others feel entitled to a person. To talk with them, take their time, and share in their moments. To touch them without consent. Yes, there are way worse things happening to people. But this isn’t a great way to live. It’s no wonder so many of them go nuts. This is most clearly shown in the scene when Anna is sitting next to Preecher’s bed. She wakes up to find the older woman gone. But all anyone wants to talk about is how she was just nominated for an Oscar. At that moment, she doesn’t give a damn. She cares about this kind woman, and where she’s gone. Just like any other person.

Finally, I appreciated that this season didn’t do what so many AHS seasons do. Which is to say that this episode didn’t feel like the last episode. It felt like the penultimate episode. It felt like there was still more story to tell, not just loose ends to be wrapped up. I appreciate that the writers have finally learned that lesson.

For this season, at least.

What didn’t work

The first thing that bothered me in this episode was Cora’s confession. I said something about this during our live-watch event on Threads. (Join us next week for the finale. Bring popcorn and wine.)


I don’t believe Cora’s confession. I further don’t believe that she just dumped all of this incriminating info on Anna with no more prompting than a wide-eyed look. There was just no reason for it. So, Anna saw her coat? Lots of people have similar coats. This feels fake, and she brought no receipts.

Tavi Gevinson in American Horror Story Delicate.

I also found Siobhan’s behavior confusing. At times she seems genuinely concerned for Anna’s wellbeing. At other times, she is more than willing to let her suffer and risk her pregnancy.

While this has been going on all season, it was happening every few minutes in this one. Either Siobhan cares about the welfare of that fetus, or she doesn’t. But she needs to pick a lane.

All in all, I don’t know what to expect from next week’s season finale. Anna has her Oscar, but now she might lose her baby. She might also get sucked into some horrible cult and experience a bad death. We won’t know until next week.

See you then.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Fallout, The Target



Episode two of Amazon Prime’s Fallout was equal parts funny and bloody. This almost always leads to a good time.

The story

We begin this episode with the birth of some puppies that look like they’ve had a rough start to life. Each one is weighed, with the ones who fall short being incinerated.

One pup who is just below the correct weight gets a bit of a thumb on their scale. The scientist weighing them, Wilzig, writes down the proper weight. He later takes the puppy home to raise instead of putting them into what looks like an unforgiving training program.


Eventually, we see Wilzig put some blue glowing thing into his neck. When a soldier comes for him, Dog attacks the soldier, and the two escape.

Ella Purnell in Fallout.

We go from there to the wilderness, where Lucy is recovering from the last episode and enjoying a campfire at night. Wilzig and Dog come out of the shadows, saving Lucy from a bug monster. Wilzig tells Lucy she should go home. And if she’s not going to go home, she needs to evolve.

The next day Lucy finds her way to a town called Filly. As a Pennsylvanian, it hurts me to spell it that way. Lucy is entranced by this town, though clearly put off by the fact that no one is very nice here.

She eventually finds her way to a shop run by a delightful woman named Ma June. Ma doesn’t seem particularly interested in helping Lucy. Or, frankly, having Lucy in her shop.

Or in her town.

Eventually, Wilzig is tracked to this same shop, being tracked by The Ghoul. This is our final primary character. Lucy defends Wilzig, being aided at the last moment by Maximus.


Maximus, by the way, has been having a terrible time. After finally becoming a squire he’s disappointed to find that his knight, Knight Titus, is a terrible person.

Fortunately, Maximus doesn’t have to put up with Titus for long. After Titus gets the bright idea to go hunting, he’s attacked by a mutated bear. Maximus freezes, unable to save him. Then, well, he decides not to save him.

It was Titus’s idea to go hunt the bear, after all.

What worked

Walton Goggins in Fallout.

The first thing I want to draw attention to is the shootout scene at Filly. This scene checked every box a fight scene should check. It was fun to watch, with great effects. But it also gave us insight into the characters. Lucy is a decent fighter and has a strong moral compass. The Ghoul is callus and desensitized to death. And Maximus continues to be, well, sort of bad at this whole fighting thing. But with enough moral fortitude that we have a hard time blaming him.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the dog. Who’s name, as far as I’ve been able to ascertain, is just Dog. Which is fine. He doesn’t need to have a name to be a very good boy. He’s sweet, loyal, and fearless.


Also, puppies. Puppies are always great.

Finally, I’d like to shine a spotlight on Lucy’s reaction to the world at large. She is both amazed and terrified by everything. And while she certainly doesn’t want to be rude, she also doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. The best example of this is when she stops to ask for directions with a bright smile and a gun.

Once again, I don’t have anything bad to say about this episode. It was funny, dark, and fun to watch. I’m very much looking forward to the rest of the season. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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