Picture of a bald man looking chiselled and intent. Jim Hyde's book Up the Hill Backwards

Hyde – A letter from a gay man dying of AIDS

Published

3 years ago

June 16, 2021

Jim Phoenix

Jim here. This is both a bit personal and a bit of a repost. Originally printed in the Floidoip issue of the LGBTQ Trevor Project charity issue of our old punk ‘zine Ricky’s Backyard, this poem is actually a letter slightly askew. I won’t rewrite the introduction to the poem (you can find that in this book, though…amazon affiliate link, etc etc). For this year, a still pandemic world of fuckdom, I thought about showing a different side of Jim (Hyde, not Phoenix).

Jim was a gay man. He was HIV positive. In his own words, he had AIDS. Jim lived with that for more years than allotted for most people. He was on state insurance and they would take away his prescription plan when he got ‘too healthy’ so he would have to get extremely sick before being allowed to take HIV meds again. That was a cycle that followed him until death.

Jim was a complicated man and showed that complication, warts and all. If you did get a chance to check out his book Up the Hill Backwards, you’ll seen what I mean. A few private moments with Jim I won’t share, but I will say that as a college prof, I was lucky enough to have him write to my class about HIV, being Gay, and all the shit he had to do just to try to live.

I can’t find the exact moment anymore (memory will do that to you) but I’ll share this song (below the poem) that was dedicated to Jim at a concert that took, well a lot of magic (and a bit of lying by ol’ Doc here), to pull off. Lying to man dying of AIDS, well, that’s for another time. Maybe.

HYDE

Clean from crack one year this month.

       it started as a self-medication

and grew into my whole life.

I live in a building where there are a few dealers

                                          on each floor

                              and I have nowhere else to go,

so I was tough as a cocksucker with them all

                                                       and now I am left alone.

No

desire,

  more

    like disdain is the

                                                   blessing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NBpfkpyZw

This one’s still for Jim…

Original Series

Finger Spiders What You Get

Published

4 days ago

September 15, 2024

Jennifer Weigel

Wow, you’re still with us… So, taking it from Part 1 and Part 2 of this saga, we’re still knuckle deep in finger spiders here at Haunted MTL! Because I made A LOT of unfulfilled requests for a spider out of fingers, I will continue this snarky little AI art series with NightCafe and Canva through the month of September…

Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: fingers spider; fingers as spider; fingers as spider legs no hand; spider out of fingers.

Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders What You Get! This is all on you… You let the terrifying AI art generated finger spiders in the house and then let them crawl on you. When you turn into a spider, that’s all your own doing. Leave me out of it.

Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: spider hand; fingers as spider legs; spider hand fingers; spider as fingers.

Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders Look I’m Sorry! I wish I could help. I really really do. Keep scrubbing at it even if your flesh falls off. It’s really your only hope now. You’ve been bitten and there’s not much to do for it now.

All of the AI art images used in this series were generated on Thursday, June 13, 2024. If you want to see more freaky spiderness in art here on Haunted MTL, check out Bitten and Soul Catcher. More AI art graphic narratives from Jennifer Weigel have explored Little Red Riding Hood and Into the Deep Woods. Oh, and the Tiny Brain Computers exploration. To see more such devolutions into AI generated art, check out the Will the Real Jennifer Weigel Please Stand Up? blog.

Original Series

Finger Spiders Too Late

Published

2 weeks ago

September 8, 2024

Jennifer Weigel

They’re back… So, continuing where we left off, we’re still knuckle deep in finger spiders here at Haunted MTL! Because I made A LOT of unfulfilled requests for a spider out of fingers, I will continue this snarky little AI art series with NightCafe and Canva through the month of September…

Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: finger spider; spider out of nothing but fingers; spider made out of only fingers; fingers as spider.

Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders Too Late! Well now that they’re in the house and you’re hunting them down, don’t let them crawl on you. Not only are they seriously creepy, but the AI art generation can warp time and space around itself and allow them to evolve to your biology.

Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: spider out of only fingers; fingers into spider; finger spider; fingers as spider legs only.

Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders No You Didn’t! I can’t believe you let the AI art generated finger spiders crawl on you! What were you thinking?! Just try to wash it off as best you can… Like seriously, I can’t help you any more, you’re on your own.

Original Series

Finger Spiders Are Coming

Published

3 weeks ago

September 1, 2024

Jennifer Weigel

So I tried to convince the AI to give me a spider made out of fingers, because there’s no way it could possibly mess that up right? Wink. After multiple unfulfilled requests for finger spiders, I bring you this snarky little AI art series with NightCafe and Canva for the month of September…

Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: fingers as spider; spider made of fingers; a spider out of nothing but fingers; finger spider hand.

Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders Coming Soon! It’s just a matter of time before these horrifying AI art generated creations come crawling into your home to feast on your blood. For they are hungry and they are evolving…

Images: Overall design aesthetic of fashion / design advertising spread in muted tones with four AI art rendered images of spiders, built spiders, and spiders on hands, with any given number of legs on spiders and fingers on hands as you’d expect from AI interfacing at this time. Prompts used from top left to lower right include: fingers as spider; spider hand shadow puppetry; fingers in shape of spider; spider that is a hand.

Text reads: Creepy Crawlies Finger Spiders They’re Here! Too late, you let them into the house. You’d better be sure to find and squish them all before they breed and come after you. They are still hungry, and they are still evolving…