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Christmas time is here! It’s time to listen to the same five songs until your ears bleed, spend time with people you’d fake your own death to avoid the rest of the year and stuff yourself with way too much food. And, it’s time for my favorite holiday tradition, watching horrible Christmas movies to tell you all exactly how god-awful they are. Let’s start with Mercy Christmas, a film about a family with a unique set of holiday traditions. And, a unique holiday menu.

The story

Our main character is named Michael Briskett. He’s a lonely man working a dull job with an abusive boss. But he’s doing his best to have a good Christmas. He even throws a party for everyone at his work.

No one shows up, though, except for the boss’s beautify assistant, Cindy. Together they have some drinks, and eventually, she invites him to her family’s Christmas celebration.

Personally, if a woman that beautiful had asked me out, I’d assume she thought I had money. But poor Michael is so swept up in being included that he jumps on the chance.

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When he arrives at the family home of the Robillards, he finds two nasty surprises waiting. The first is that Cindy’s brother is Andy, his horrible boss. The second is that the family intends to eat him and three other people throughout Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day.

After that is, Michael finishes up a work project for Andy. Because it’s not bad enough that he will be eaten, he also has to work over Christmas.

Casey O'Keefe in Mercy Christmas.

What worked

There are two kinds of bad Christmas movies. The ones that are actually bad, like Gingerdead Man, and the ones that are bad in all the wonderfully right ways that make them a real holiday treat. Mercy Christmas was one of the latter.

First, no one is taking a single second of this seriously. The writers sure didn’t, when they wrote a scene in which Michael and Eddie are tied together by Christmas tree lights to battle the Robillards. The actors didn’t. Half the time you can see them holding back a mighty laugh with all of their might. The stunt coordinators, the costume department, and the effects team were all doing their very best to make this movie as hilarious as possible. Because at every moment, every detail was selected to be funny and festive rather than serious. Cindy wearing a cross to church service. The pineapple on the roast leg. Grandma insisting that they do stockings at her specific time, as though they haven’t got three strangers tied up in the basement. All of this was funny as hell, exactly as it was supposed to be.

Steven Hubbell and  D.J. Hale in Mercy Christmas.

Every single person involved with Mercy Christmas was having a fantastic time. As I mentioned, the whole cast felt like they were about to start laughing. There is so much joy in their faces, even when it’s not exactly a joyful scene. But it’s the attention to comical detail that makes it clear that this movie was a labor of love for everybody.

Finally, I adore that the Robillard family acts exactly how we all picture people behaving at a big family Christmas. At least, if the family has money. Everyone’s arguing over food, talking about how they miss their mom, and fussing at each other. But everyone is also doing their little part to make Christmas great for their family after suffering the loss of their beloved mom.

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If they weren’t eating people, this could have been a Hallmark Christmas movie.

What didn’t work

All of that being said, there was one thing that bothered me about this movie.

Over and over, we come back to the fact that Mrs. Robillard died. It’s brought up often enough that I thought for sure that it was going to be a bigger plot point. But it isn’t. That just seems to be window dressing for the family.

This felt like failed misdirection. When misdirection is done well, we don’t care about it anymore after the sleight of hand is accomplished. But there is no sleight of hand here. There is no misdirection. We’re just left wondering why the hell the mother was brought up so often if nothing was going to come of it.

All in all, Mercy Christmas was a fun, bloody movie with some incredibly satisfying moments. And while I don’t know if it’ll make it on my list every year, I can see myself coming back for seconds.

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4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Movies n TV

Little Shop of Horrors – Musical Madness Review

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So I can’t believe that no one has reviewed Little Shop of Horrors the Broadway musical here on Haunted MTL. We have seen the old 1960 Roger Corman version in a Joe Bob Briggs special here, but not the Broadway smash hit and movie. This surprises me given its cheeky sense of humor and quirky colorful but dark themes. I personally love this musical, but then again I’m probably biased seeing as how I’m a Disney Renaissance kid, and Howard Ashman was influential in that movement as well. And the movie version is directed by Frank Oz, so you know the puppetry is top notch.

Little Shop of Horrors movie poster
Little Shop of Horrors movie poster

Spoiler alert: I hate revealing too much in my reviews but I will touch on some topics that reveal themes from within. So if you somehow managed to completely miss this under whatever rock you’ve been hiding since 1982, I’d recommend watching it. Right now. What are you waiting for, like seriously? Here’s a link to Amazon Prime even. Feel free to come back afterwards and read the rest of this review. And you’re welcome.

Little Shop of Horrors focuses on a flesh-eating plant. Whether it came from outer space or is a weird hybrid of some kind of souped up Venus flytrap is actually not that relevant. Hell, it could be a Burp special, as featured here previously. The plant’s origin story doesn’t actually matter all that much. What’s important is that it convinces protagonist Seymour to care for it, which starts off a little more innocently and ends in a killing spree that claims even the lives of both Seymour and his beloved Audrey by the end. Because it’s a hungry plant and it needs blood and fresh meat.

As you already know, my father was a dentist. So reactions to Orin Scrivello DDS could go either way. But in the movie version Steve Martin does an excellent job portraying the sadist, and you can’t help but kind of love him for it (especially in the scene with Bill Murray as the masochist patient) for all that you’ll still cheer a little when he gets fed to the carnivorous flesh-eating plant. The Broadway death by laughing gas is his just desserts and well portrayed, and just one of the beautiful dark comedy blossoms within this musical foray into inappropriate humor that ranges into such taboo topics as unintended suicide, relationship abuse, and socioeconomic disparity.

Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors
Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors

Anyway, I give the musical and movie 4.0 Cthulhus. 4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

The main reason I wanted to review this was actually because the Smoky Valley Theater high school recently presented Little Shop of Horrors in Lindsborg, Kansas in November 2024, and I wanted to give them a shoutout. The actors and actresses did a fabulous job with it. I especially liked that they further explored the Audrey II character of the plant by casting it as an actual actress, saving on large-scale puppeteering and bringing new life to the musical. This worked much better than I had anticipated when I’d heard of the change, with superb adaptive costuming that evolved over time. I would kill for that flytrap cape complete with its red and emerald satin and toothy accent trim. Maybe at the next solar eclipse…

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Dexter Original Sin Fender Bender, The Perfect Mix of Comedy and Sadness

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Episode four of Dexter Original Sin was an interesting one. It was equal parts funny and upsetting.

It also brought up an issue I’ve always had with Dexter.

Let’s discuss.

The story

Our story doesn’t waste any time, starting with the kidnapped boy, Jimmy Powell, hanging dead from a bridge.

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This crime scene turns out to be a little too much even for Dexter. So, he decides to go hunting. He discovers a killer for hire called Mad Dog. And let me save you the Google. Yes, that is Joe Pantoliano who played Cypher in The Matrix.

Christian Slater and Patrick Gibson in Dexter Original Sin.

So desperate to feel better, Dexter maybe rushes things a little bit. Which, it should surprise no one, leads to a hilarious and disastrous result.

What worked

There has always been a part of the later seasons of Dexter that bothered me. Spoilers ahead.

When Deb learns about Dexter’s Dark Passenger, she goes right off the deep end. This includes, among other things, heroin use. Which always seemed out of character for me. Now, finding out she was experimenting with drugs as a teen, that makes more sense. While I won’t say this is as good as Deep Space 9 retconning the infamous stage hand incident in Troubles with Tribbles, it was nice.

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I also really enjoyed Joe Pantoliano’s character, Mad Dog. He was funny in just the right way. Not slapstick. Not over the top, because that never would have fit here. But he’s animated and joyful in a way that no other character is. He’s clearly got his priorities right, as we can see when he begs Dex not to smash his guitar. He was just so fun. And this episode needed this levity since the rest of it was so heavy.

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Joe Pantoliano and Patrick Gibson in Dexter Original Sin.

As we discussed, this episode started with a poor dead boy. This caused both Dexter and Harry to completely ignore Deb. Furious, she shouts what must have been the best and most emotionally devastating line in the series so far.

“How am I supposed to compete with a dead kid?”

Now the question I’m left with, the question that I’m sure the writers intended to leave us with, is this. Does she mean the dead boy her dad’s investigating? Or does she mean her dead brother?

Does she know she has a dead brother?

I felt like these two elements, the levity brought by Mad Dog and the heavy death of the little boy worked really well together. It keeps the story balanced, keeps it from being too much.

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What didn’t work

While this episode cleared up something about Deb for me, it also brought to light something I’ve never appreciated about the character Dexter.

He’s not a sociopath.

A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience. They would not, generally, have a different response to a child being killed than an adult. But Dexter has always had that issue.

It makes him a better person, but it shows a misunderstanding of the character in the books. And, frankly, a misunderstanding of the condition.

I also need to complain about the melon scene. Normally, everyone knows the point of smashing a melon in forensics. Whether accurate to the real world or not, melons are used to show what might happen if someone’s skull is crushed. The point is to see the difference in different heights, and where the blood splatter might go.

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If one is going to spray blood where they want it to be or put a little metal plate on one melon so that it doesn’t break naturally, then it defeats the whole purpose of dropping them.

Now, some of you might think this was the point of the scene. Dexter is very new at this. Maybe he was doing it wrong, showing a lack of understanding of the process. I have two issues with this. One, Dexter is pre-med, he should have known better. And two, Masuka is not new. And he was standing right there the whole time. Why didn’t he say something? This was just a clumsy and confusing scene in an episode that was otherwise well done.

All in all, this was another good episode. I loved the blend of funny and heartbreaking. I loved the special guest star. And I loved the cliffhanger ending. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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The Dangers of On-Site Research for Actors, or Devil’s Workshop

Written and directed by Chris Von Hoffmann, Devil’s Workshop is a horror drama released in 2022.

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Written and directed by Chris Von Hoffmann, Devil’s Workshop is a horror drama released in 2022. This R-rated film stars Radha Mitchell, Timothy Granaderos, Sarah Coffey, and Emile Hirsch. As of this review, it’s available on Freevee.

Clayton (Timothy Granaderos) is a struggling actor on the verge of the biggest role in his life. After receiving a callback, he takes this opportunity seriously, seeking out a real demonologist to better understand the role. However, Eliza (Radha Mitchell) forces him to experience the spiritual… and the demonic.

A man and a woman talk within a living room setting.
Radha Mitchell as Eliza and Timothy Granaderos as Clayton

What I Like About Devil’s Workshop

The chemistry between Eliza and Clayton remains the highlight of the film. Radha Mitchell’s Eliza evokes a mystique that makes it easy to believe Clayton’s desire to learn more. Timothy Granaderos’ Clayton captures the character’s insecurities while giving just enough for viewers to sense something deeper.

Devil’s Workshop seems to accomplish much with a limited budget. The special effects (though limited) work surprisingly well. While it wouldn’t be an issue if it indulged in camp, Devil’s Workshop seeks to elevate its horror without undermining the tone.

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As the plot unfolds, there’s just enough reason to rewatch the film and catch some of the groundwork leading to that conclusion. I am surprised at how well the film holds up in this regard, keeping the viewers engaged despite a slower burn.

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There’s something genuinely haunting about the ending, as Clayton’s backstory and the demon’s manipulation synergize to make a few disturbing scenes. The success of this synergy stems from the odd relationship that Eliza and Clayton develop within the film, becoming confidants to drastically different ends.

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Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Triggers

Clayton stands at a particularly low point in his life, working through his unresolved family issues and feeling like a failure. This insecurity leads to Clayton’s troubles.

A sexual assault occurs between a female assaulter and male victim. Unlike many films that explore this subject matter, this assault isn’t a tool for a cheap laugh. However, beyond the cruelty of the act, it isn’t explored to any degree beyond the shock and horror of the act.

A woman stares at the viewer with a knife.
Getting to the Point

What I Dislike about Devil’s Workshop

Emile Hirsch’s Donald plays a rival to Clayton, but the performance lingers on camp. Making the character more jarring, he leads a subplot with little value to the story. While I understand that Donald acts as a foil and antagonist, he’s rarely pitted against Clayton. Instead, he takes away from the actual plot.

Another potential reason for this subplot is to allow Sarah Coffey’s Nikki to shine. As a friend to Donald, the character makes his subplot tolerable. However, it still provides no substance to the plot. It seems like a massive misstep to waste her talent as a side character on an irrelevant deviation.

If the above issues suggest a desire to expand the film’s runtime, exploring the occult themes in Devil’s Workshop would better serve the plot. Devil’s Workshop works best when following its demonic lore and rituals, so why not dive further into the diabolical? Clayton sought to study a demonologist for the role, and demonology remains a lightly explored topic.

The mix between campy and more serious performances doesn’t create a cohesive film. Perhaps these campier scenes bring levity, but the film doesn’t linger in its darker material long enough to require these intermissions.

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Final Thoughts

Devil’s Workshop provides a disturbing horror within a tight runtime, requiring little to earn its investment. The low budget shows in places but rarely where it matters most, pulling off a traumatizing ending to earn its place. While it’s far from the most terrifying film, it’s an unnerving watch for those interested. The one issue I return to is this odd subplot following a pointless character.
3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

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