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The Beach House (2020) is a body horror film directed and written by Jeffrey A. Brown. This film stars Liana Liberato, Noah Le Gros, Jake Weber, and Maryann Nagel. As of this review, this film is only available on Shudder.

Desperate to rekindle their strained love, Emily (Liana Liberato) and Randall (Noah Le Gros) escape to a beach getaway. They soon learn to find that family friends of Randall’s father, Mitch (Jake Weber), and Jane (Maryann Nagel), also had a similar idea. After getting used to each other, a mysterious fog engulfs the town. Unfortunately, they realize too late the danger they find themselves in.

A woman with her mouth agape. Behind her is a dark background. Next to her reads, "The Beach House." Below is a scenic beach with a mountain in the distance.
The Beach House Alternative Cover Art

What I Like

Body horror gets under my skin, and The Beach House certainly lives up to the standard. There’s something magical about creatures terraforming your body to their preferred environment, turning humans into nothing more than conscious prisoners in their own flesh. While I wouldn’t consider this film the most traumatic or unsettling example, it utilizes wonderfully grotesque scenes.

Aside from the body horror, the film drops a few Cosmic Horror–or Lovecraftian–vibes that go together perfectly. Another favored genre of mine, this combination ensures the odds are overwhelmingly against our human leads.

Beyond the grotesque, visuals might not overwhelm but certainly succeed in their goal. Several scenes provide an intentionally tranquil experience that contrasts with the grotesques and improves their effectiveness.

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In terms of performance, each actor hits their mark. While some roles require less effort, each contributes to the plot as intended. The standout performance goes to Liana Liberato’s Emily, who acts as co-lead. She simply has the most to work with and lives up to the part.

White background, rubber stamp with disclaimer pressed against the white background.
Disclaimer Kimberley Web Design

Tired Tropes and Trigger Warnings

As “body horror” should indicate, this film will hit hard for the more squeamish viewer. While horror by nature has some amount of grotesque, body horror brings that grotesque to the next level. While I don’t particularly find The Beach House hitting harder than its competition, it certainly respects its chosen genre.

Woman looks shocked or horrified. Bushes or trees make up the background.
Liana Liberato as Emily

What I Dislike or Considerations

A few scenic montages may hit or miss depending on your interpretation. While I have my own theories, that speculation goes beyond the scope of this review. Many of these scenes overlap more philosophical conversations and musings that may annoy or add layers. This strategy seems a common practice in Cosmic Horror, which forces characters to rationalize the irrational.

It’s hard for me to understand how secretive or known this event is supposed to be in the film’s world. Individuals know something outside of the town, with evidence implying governmental knowledge. This information creates a contrivance–perhaps, even a plot hole–because the characters had to reach this isolated town without any opposition.

One of the visuals didn’t exactly grab me. While I won’t go into too much detail, an effect looked too visually similar to a common animal that barely survives rain. It’s hard to be threatened by that. It also doesn’t exactly match up with some of the other visuals. Even the creatures that look similar to it still look different enough to provide a more alien assumption.

There are moments when the infected chase our main characters by crawling at them. While the context works, with injured characters helping to sell them, I can’t help but find these scenes amusing as opposed to frightening. Yes, it’s certainly visually different from the plethora of zombies out there, but it’s also less frightening than zombies that leisurely walk to their targets.

Final Thoughts

The Beach House combines cosmic and body horror to create an uncomfortable film that tests its characters. For those who enjoy these genres, it will certainly entertain you, but I doubt it will frighten you. I imagine the mood to watch it again might strike me, but I’m not entirely certain it will stand the test of time. 3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

If this movie suits your fancy and you want more, Honeymoon seems an appropriate recommendation.

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Zeth received his M.A in English with a focus in Creative Writing at CSU, Chico. As a human writer, he published in the 9th volume of Multicultural Echoes, served on the editorial board of Watershed Review, and is a horror reviewer for Haunted MTL. All agree he is a real-life human and not an octopus in human skin. Fascinated by horror novels and their movie adaptations, Zeth channels his bone-riddled arms in their study. Games are also a tasty treat, but he only has the two human limbs to write. If you enjoy his writing, check out his website.

Movies n TV

Goosebumps, You Can’t Scare Me

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Episode eight of Goosebumps felt more like a season finale. Frequently when shows do this, it leads to a lackluster final episode in which it feels like everything has already been said, the monster is already vanquished, and we’re just tidying everything up. But hopefully, the creators remember the number one rule of a horror franchise. The monster is never really dead.

Cover for Goosebumps You Can't Scare Me!

The story

We begin our story with everyone in hot water. Well, at least in a notebook that’s just been damaged by cold puddle water.

After a frankly hilarious battle between Biddle and Bratt for the body, Nathan manages to draw a door in the notebook for the teens to escape. Unfortunately, he is sucked back into the notebook.

Back in the real world, the kids head to Nora’s cabin to save her. But Biddle reaches her first. Possibly because a helpful sheriff tells him right where her cabin is.

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ACAB.

Biddle finds Nora before she can hide Slappy somewhere in the deep woods. She takes off but is having a difficult time losing him. He does eventually take Slappy, leaving Nora in a dangerous position.

Luke and Margot manage to find her but lose Isaiah in the process. Isaiah has fallen down a cliff face and is clinging to it for dear life.

And this is where he is when Slappy and Biddle find him.

What worked

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The first thing I have to mention is that this was a great episode for parent/child relations. I loved that Harold’s parents knew he wasn’t to blame. I loved that they’d been waiting for him all this time, so they could go into the afterlife together.

Rachael Harris in Goosebumps.

Luke and Nora had a good moment as well. Honestly, it appears that everyone had an honest discussion with their kids or parents at some point because of this.

I also really loved the musical choices in this episode. This has been a bit of an issue this season so far, but this was a great example. I especially enjoyed the instrumental version of Sweet Dreams played during high-conflict moments. Honestly, has there ever been a bad version of that song?

Overall, this was a satisfying episode. Nora was finally vindicated. Nathan finally has his body back, and Harold Biddle is free.

It makes me wonder what they’re going to do with the rest of the season. Or at least it would if the next episode wasn’t titled Night of The Living Dummy Two.

What didn’t work

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One thing about this episode did irritate me, though. Once it’s established that Biddle and Nora are in the woods, everyone takes off after them. And for some reason, no one remembered that cell phones existed. We know the teens have their phones, that was made painfully clear in the car scene. Why did no one, not one soul, consider calling Nora instead of running around in the snow yelling for her? And when Isaiah vanished, why didn’t he call someone? Why didn’t they call him?

This would have been an easy fix. There’s a snowstorm. We could have just mentioned that someone tried to call and cell lines were down. Instead, every character seemed to have just forgotten that modern technology exists and we don’t have to run around shouting for people if they get lost in the forest with their phone.

All in all, though, this was a good episode. I’m not sure yet how I feel about there being two episodes left, I’ll admit. But I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens. This has been a good season so far. Let’s hope they stick the landing.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Goosebumps, Give Yourself Goosebumps

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This episode of Goosebumps is named after the Choose Your Own Adventure spinoff books. Also known as my favorite way to spend an afternoon as a kid.

Cover from Give Yourself Goosebumps

I still have some of these. I can tell you what they smell like. They smell like childhood joy.

It was nice to be reminded of these wonderful times. It was even better that I was reminded in this wild ride of an episode.

The Story

We begin our tale with the revelation that Mr. Bratt is actually Harold Biddle. And to make sure these meddling kids don’t spoil his plan, he’s trapped them inside of his notebook. The notebook looks very much like the living room of the cabin.

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There, the teens find the real Mr. Bratt. He’s been trapped in the notebook since Biddle took over his body. And he hasn’t made much headway in escaping.

Meanwhile, Nora is finally being released from the psych ward. And she is not thrilled with Victoria. Seeing as how Victoria has been drugging her, this is understandable.

But Nora is done being passive now. She heads right to her garage and packs Slappy up in a canvas sack. Why Slappy was in her garage, where her child hangs out, is beyond me. But here we are.

As she’s trying to leave, Colin finds her. He’s rightfully looking for some answers. But he’s not going to get it from her. She informs him that she has to handle something, and she cannot explain what’s going on. Then she drives off with Slappy.

Poor Colin, looking for some support, goes to see Isaiah’s dad, Ben. He lays out the whole situation, looking for support.

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But Ben hears something else in Colin’s tale of woe. He hears that Slappy is free. And so he takes off, leaving Colin sitting in his living room alone with no answers.

Colin has got to be wondering why he’s still living in this town at this point.

Back in the notebook, Nathan and the teens realize that if Nathan is hurt, he goes back into his own body. This leads to a wonderfully funny scene of the kids taking turns punching him in the face.

Still from Give Yourself Goosebumps.

Eventually, he gets partial control of his body. But Biddle is still there, and still ready to do battle. And when the notebook is tossed out the window and lands in a puddle, the kids find themselves in an even worse situation.

What worked

I want to start by praising a subtle detail that absolutely blew me away. Right before the teens realize they’re no longer in the real world, there’s a color shift. The whole picture becomes a bit browner. Again, it was subtle. But it was such a wonderful transition.

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I also want to bring attention to Justin Long, again. His acting in this season has been so laugh-out-loud funny. In this episode, we saw him jumping back and forth between Nathan Bratt and Harold Biddle in the blink of an eye. Or, the time it took Isabella to punch him. The way he flops around, is clearly either not comfortable or not in control of his body. It’s a delight.

Finally, despite the number of grownups who are now involved, the kids are still clearly the heroes. They are the ones working together, sharing information, and trying to fix their situation before they die. They are not waiting for rescue, like Mr. Bratt. They are not ignoring the problem. They are not working with Slappy, as I suspect one of the parents might be. The kids, in this show, are alright. And they are certainly the good guys.

This season just gets better and better. And the best part is that Slappy isn’t even awake yet. We haven’t released the big bad. And the good guys are already overwhelmed. So what are they going to do when Slappy is back?

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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Goosebumps, Night of The Living Dummy

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After the very alluring ending to the last episode of Goosebumps, this one had a lot to live up to. It is also, of course, named for possibly the best-known Goosebumps book. Night of The Living Dummy is the book that gave the series its mascot character, and our primary antagonist, Slappy the Dummy. It’s safe to say that this episode was going to change the course of the season. And I’m happy to say that it lived up to all of those expectations.

If you’re into detailed, elaborate, multigenerational backstories, then this episode is going to be a real treat.

The story

After Biddle/Mr. Bratt invites the kids inside, he sits them down on the couch and starts to tell them an elaborate backstory. This story begins with his great-great-great-grandfather, Ephraim Biddle.

Slappy in Goosebumps

Ephraim was a failing magician until he finds Slappy the Dummy in a magic shop. After accidentally bringing Slappy to life (do not repeat strange words you find on a piece of paper out loud) his act takes off. Eventually, though, he discovers that Slappy has plans to hurt people. And so he bricks him up in the wall of his basement.

Years later, Harold Biddle and his parents move in. And Slappy calls to Harold, who was bullied at his last school. He’s worried that he’ll be bullied again. Slappy talked to those fears. And, as is too often the case, this worked like a cursed charm.

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What worked

I’d like to start with how our main characters responded to Harold Biddle’s tale. Because I loved it possibly as much as he hated it. But they are correct when they say that their parents weren’t to blame for what happened to Harold.

They didn’t bully him. They took him into their group, or at least they tried to. And after Harold stood up on stage and aired out their secrets, Nora was quick to defend him. They even wanted to protect him from Slappy.

And yes, their actions caused his house to catch on fire. But they would have gone back and saved him if it hadn’t been too late.

I felt so bad that Harold’s unhappiness was completely self-fulfilling. He assumed people would hate him, so he didn’t give them a chance. This is a lesson we don’t see much of.

Of course, the bulk of this episode’s greatness came right in the last few minutes. This ending was perfect.

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When Margot asks “How do you know all of this, Mr. Bratt?” And his response is, “That’s right, the twist,” that was it for me. Because of course, Goosebumps books were always known for that last killer twist. And I think we all love a good fourth-wall joke around here.

This, of course, led us to the big reveal. And this was perfect. It was a cool line. The effects were flawless. The kids’ reactions were hilarious and completely understandable.

Oftentimes in horror, when we finally see the monster it can be a bit of a letdown. Stephen King talks about this struggle in Dance Macabre. When we can’t see the monster, it’s the worst thing we can imagine. After we see it, we often realize it isn’t that bad. It might even be unintentionally funny.

Because the point of this scene isn’t really the monster’s revelation to the audience but is instead focused on the revelation to the characters, it works much better.

What didn’t work

Sadly, the rest of the episode didn’t work quite as well. Starting with the flashback to Ephraim Biddle. While I understand the value of this story, it was slow. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as the rest of the episode or the season. It certainly dragged this episode down. Which isn’t to say the actors didn’t do a fine job. It was just that the story itself was a little dull.

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Cover for Goosebumps, Night of The Living Dummy.

Finally, though, I have one primary complaint. And this has been an issue I’ve had with the season so far.

If Slappy was supposed to be a big mid-season surprise, maybe he shouldn’t have been plastered on every single bit of advertising for this season. It took some of the joy away honestly. When we first saw the dummy-sized case, we all knew who it was going to be, because we’d already seen his face. Worse, Slappy’s appearance couldn’t be a surprise, because we saw him as soon as we knew the show was going to happen. It took some potential fun away to have that expectation already established.

That being said, this was still a fun episode. And it certainly left me eager to see what’s going to happen next.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

If you’re a fan of my work, please check out my latest story, Nova, on Paper Beats World. New chapters launch every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

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