Watching Blair Witch Project, as a Modern Witch
The Blair Witch Project has a bad reputation these days. People think it’s cool to throw around words like boring and anticlimactic and lacking any recognizable story structure.
All of those complaints are true. But they ignore a more fundamental understanding of The Blair Witch Project. It’s a hell of a lot better when you’re an impressionable thirteen-year-old who is tricked into thinking this was actual found footage.
Rewatching the film for the first time in over twenty years, I have a far different opinion. Especially now that I’m a practicing witch, and have a better understanding of what might have been happening in those woods.
Just the facts
The Blair Witch Project premiered in 1999. It’s a well-known found footage movie about a team of film students who head out into the woods of Maryland to make a movie about a local myth. Years before, children were murdered in the woods. Ever since then, people say they see things and hear things in the woods. Sometimes people don’t come back. The creature believed to be behind these things is called the Blair Witch.
Our three main characters, Heather, Mike and Josh, head out into the woods to shoot their movie and find an old abandoned cemetery. They soon get lost. Adding to the overall horror of being lost in the woods without food or water, someone is harassing them in the night. They hear strange things, footsteps following them. They also find strange collections of rocks and symbols made of sticks hanging from trees.
While none of this is exactly enough to keep us up at night, it did revolutionize the found footage genre. In other words, Blair Witch walked so Paranormal Activities could run.
What Blair Witch got right
Surprisingly, the Blair Witch Project got a lot of things right. To start with, the story takes place in Maryland, in a fictional town that is probably in Appalachia. And while it’s never said in the movie, much of what’s happening is familiar to people who have heard Appalachian woods stories. Or, like me, grew up with them.
If you heard it, no you didn’t. This is sage advice that Heather, Mike and Josh never heard. Because they are responding to every little sound in those woods. Especially when those start to sound like their missing friends.
It also makes sense that the Blair Witch Woods would be a hotspot for bad vibes. Places where horrible things have happened often feel icky, for lack of a better term. It’s often said that places like this hold onto the memory of evil actions. Whether because this is true, or because we associate a place with these terrible things, I imagine most people would be uncomfortable in those woods.
Finally, I’d like to offer a PSA. If you find some small collection of rocks in the woods, or hanging sigils, or a weird bottle filled with weird stuff, please don’t mess around with it. I’m not even saying anything negative or dark will happen to you. But I am saying that if a witch like myself left something like that in the middle of the woods, we probably had a reason. Maybe it’s a part of a spell or a gift for some local land spirit. If it’s not hurting you, and it’s not hurting the wildlife, please leave it alone.
What Blair Witch got wrong
While The Blair Witch Project did get a lot of things right, there’s one large issue with this movie. And it matters maybe more than anything else.
Whatever was happening in the Blair Witch Woods wasn’t the work of a witch.
Every bit of this sounds like the actions of mimics, a dark entity, or even demonic activity. And while this is, of course, fictional, it seems much more like a fictional depiction of a demonic episode and not witchcraft at all.
Again, this wouldn’t bother me if it wasn’t called The Blair Witch Project. As far as I can tell, there wasn’t a witch in sight.
All in all, the Blair Witch Project wasn’t really about witches at all. But if you’re ever lost in the Appalachian woods, you might be sorry to find out how realistic this movie was.
Remember, if you heard it, no you didn’t. And if you hear a familiar voice call your name, don’t look back, just walk away.
(2.5 / 5)
By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.
With Season Two of Ann Rice’s Mayfair Witches coming out sometime later this year, I thought it was time for me to check it out. Though I’ve never been a big Ann Rice fan, I thought for sure that a story about witchcraft would be something different. Perhaps it would be less dull, less dramatic, and a bit more fun.
It was not
Just the facts
Released in January of 2023 on AMC, Mayfair Witches is based on the Ann Rice series, Lives of the Mayfair Witches. It follows the tale of Rowan Fielding. Adopted as a baby, Rowan discovers that she’s the heir to a powerful witch family. She’s eventually lured to New Orleans, where she learns more about her forgotten family and the secrets that she’s already a part of.
What Mayfair Witches got right
The first thing that I noticed about the show is the key necklace that several characters wear and carry throughout the show. I appreciated that. For those who don’t know, a key is one of the symbols of a deity known as Hekate. This is a goddess many witches hold a lot of fondness for, as She is considered the goddess of witches, among other things. So I liked seeing her represented.
I also liked that so much of this first season was set in New Orleans. There are many places in America that are strong in witch history and lore, but few are as well known for it as New Orleans. So they got that much right, at least.
What Mayfair Witches got wrong
Unfortunately, that was about all there was to enjoy about Mayfair Witches. I honestly struggled to get through it, if I’m being totally honest.
First, as I’ve mentioned before, witchcraft is not something that must be passed down from parent to child. While your ancestry can play a role in your magic, if you want it to, it’s not the only or even the most important factor. I am the first witch in my family, and I do just fine.
My second complaint is also a complaint about the show in general. Mayfair Witches is not a joyful show. It’s not a funny show. It is a show that takes itself very seriously as it talks about very serious things without a spark of levity or joy anywhere to be seen. Even the party scene in the first episode, The Witching Hour, seems more ominous than fun. No one seems like they’re having a good time. Rather, they all seem like they’re trying very hard to look like they’re having a good time.
This is a problem I have with Rice’s work in general, but it’s especially insulting when we’re talking about witchcraft. Witchcraft is joyful. It’s warm. It’s fiery and passionate. Sometimes it’s serious ritual work, but it’s also laughing when your tarot cards roast you. It’s getting together with friends over the sabbats and sharing good food. It’s making a tea with a spell whispered into it. It’s protecting and providing for yourself and those you love.
There was none of that in Mayfair Witches. There is no joy, or warmth, or giving oneself space and tools for healing. There is no happiness here. And that’s just not witchcraft to me.
Nor, frankly, is it entertaining television.
Finally, I have one last bone to pick with this show. It’s made clear during this season that Rowan has no choice about being a witch. But that’s the opposite of the whole point of witchcraft.
Being a witch is a choice like I said in my Supernatural review. You are not, cannot be a witch unless you decide that you are. No bloodline or initiation is more important to your craft than saying publicly or privately that you are a witch.
In the end, I can’t in good faith recommend Mayfair Witches to you. It’s dull, it takes itself too seriously, and it’s a rather grim depiction of magic in general. If you enjoyed it, I’m happy for you. But as for me, I’ll give it a pass. There are far more interesting stories being told.
(1.5 / 5)
Featuring Shannon LeGro and author Aaron Deese, Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes follows the pair in search of what many believe to be a real-world monster. Small Town Monsters investigates one of the darkest urban legends in North American history.
Well, even though this screener is late by…(checks watch) a few months, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything to say about it. That is to say, I DO have something to say about this new edition about dogman cryptids by STM.
So, welcome to another episode of ‘Brannyk talks about Small Town Monsters’! We’ve explored the Joisey Devil, aliens giving boo boos to cows, totally Bigfoot, a big ol’ stinky doggo, your tea-spilling ghost-witch, an alien Bigfoot with a hankering for a good peanut butter sandwich, Cowboy Werewolves, ‘The STM Which Will Not Be Named‘, and Native skinwalking creeps. We have a new screener from Small Town Monsters.
Plot of Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes
We follow Aaron Deese on his quest to find out the mystery of the massacre that happened at the Land Between the Lakes, a recreational area bordering on Kentucky and Tennessee.
With Shannon LeGro by his side, the two investigate the strange encounters locals have reported. Gathering modern day and older accounts of super stinky dogmen, Deese ventures deeper into the lore and history of the site to see is there’s any truth to the massacre accounted there or if they’re all just campfire stories…
Thoughts on Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes:
Nope. The “massacre” accounts are completely bogus third-rate creepy pasta stories. The one guy that they found from the internet won’t even be interviewed on camera and has…lacking testimony, and I say that generously.
Thankfully, Deese gets right to it and even he himself seems disappointed by what he discovers. And he just kind of blows past it, not really spending much time on the whole “massacre”. It’s a smart move and I appreciated it because instead of draaaaawing it out, he chose instead to focus on what matters – the locals and the history.
And, as always, with Breedlove at the helm, the historical facts of this recreation area are highlighted, such as the area being designated a recreation area by President Kennedy and the Tennessee Valley Authority exercising imminent domain. By this action, approximately 800 families were displaced from their land, causing protests and outrage by some of the families. Shining a light on a history that most don’t realize or possibly have forgotten.
And one last thought: this sewer-juice-smelling dogman is a massive dick. He, like, tries to kill you and then teleports out just for shits and giggles. Massive douche.
Brainroll Juice:
I’m not sure exactly why cryptid investigator Martin Grove became such a turning point for me in the documentary, but boy, he sure did. Martin is an absolute delight and I will bare-knuckle fight anyone who disagrees (I’m not saying that I’d win, keep that in mind, just that I would).
He’s just so genuine and curious that, even though I’m still a skeptic, I’d 100% go looking for a super smelly, translucent alien/demon dogman with him. You can tell that Martin Groves has no doubt in what he does and tries his very best to figure out the mystery behind the dogman between the Lakes. Often at his own expense and safety.
It was the Texas dogman STM that talked about people being depressed after they’ve had a cryptid experience, often finding themselves isolated from friends and family who just…don’t understand. They feel like people think they’re crazy and that they’re alone in their experiences and feelings. Many times becoming withdrawn and, well, traumatized.
Martin talks like he’s seeking proof just so people who had dogmen experiences don’t have to feel alone or crazy. That people can take comfort that what they saw is real and true. He’s standing up to that stanky-ass dogman and risking his own health by going into the creepy woods at night and searching for what he believes in.
And it doesn’t matter if you or I believe in a garbage-sludge, asshole dogman because what Martin is doing is beautiful. It’s the American dream. Believing in yourself and fighting for those who can’t.
And THAT is what Small Town Monsters is all about.
Bottomline:
If you’re here for the people and less for the dogmen, this is a great snapshot of the history and people of the region. Also, when is Martin Groves going to get his own paranormal show?
(3.5 / 5)
And now a word from Small Town Monsters
Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes
Now Streaming Exclusively on Prime Video
Available on Blu/DVD from Small Town Monsters
Massilon, OH– Venture deep into the Land Between the Lakes as Small Town Monsters investigates one of the darkest urban legends in North American history. Featuring Shannon LeGro and author Aaron Deese, Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes includes interviews with witnesses, researchers and long-time locals of the Tennessee and Kentucky borders, all in search of what many believe to be a real-world monster. Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes is now available exclusively on Amazon Prime Video. A Blu-ray (SRP $19.99) and DVD (SRP ($14.99) will be available exclusively from the Small Town Monsters shop.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w3T8ZFUhck
Supernatural is not strictly a show about witchcraft. Or, is it?
Sam, Dean and John Winchester are not witches.
Or, are they? When you watch Supernatural as a modern witch, you realize that a lot of what the Winchester boys do during their battles to protect the world from monsters are things we do as part of our witchy routines.
Just the facts
Starting in 2005 and running until 2020 for fifteen seasons, Supernatural tells the stories of Sam and Dean Winchester as they protect the world from the forces of darkness. Together with a collection of human and otherworldly allies, they battle demons, ghosts, cryptids and all manner of horrifying dark creatures. It was one of many CW shows that delved into the darker side of the world before committing entirely to bad DC content.
What Supernatural got right
The first thing that jumps out when watching Supernatural is the metric ton of salt used in the show. Specifically, salt is used to protect against any number of ghastly things.
This is very familiar to any modern witch. We have so much salt. Black salt, red salt, blessed salt. Salt to cleanse, salt to banish, salt to protect. When I saw Dean and Sam with massive containers of kitchen salt, I felt like I’d found my people.
Then there is of course John Winchesters notebook. Or, dare I say, grimoire. This also felt familiar. And it’s one of the things I loved the most about Supernatural.
Look, we all want the big family grimoire with the lovely, flowing artwork and beautiful handwritten spells like in Charmed. But in reality, most grimoires look a lot more like the Winchester notebook, with sketches and notes shoved in and held in place with gum bands and paperclips. And while I’m not going to say that my grimoire has daring notes about demonic beings I’ve battled, it certainly has more quick sketches (mostly of plants) than it does beautiful calligraphy. This is supposed to be a useful document full of information we can reference quickly, not an art piece.
Longtime viewers of the show will point out that not only do the Winchesters not call themselves witches, but they often interact with witches. Sometimes as allies, and sometimes as enemies.
The witches in the show are pretty true to life. They are good and bad. They can be anyone, from any walks of life.
The witches use many tools modern practitioners use, including crystals, scrying mirrors and protection symbols. Honestly, they are pretty spot-on. Except for the spectacular TV magic they implement.
Finally, I want to discuss the question I asked at the start. Are the Winchesters witches?
No, they’re not. Because they don’t claim the title. Even if someone does magic, they’re not a witch unless they say they’re a witch. The whole point of witchcraft, after all, is personal power and personal choice.
What Supernatural got wrong
All of that being said, Supernatural was of course not a perfect depiction of witchcraft. For one thing, there is no grand coven of witches. I don’t think enough of us could agree on enough to create one.
But if we did, Stevie Nicks would be the Supreme.
Witches also don’t have to come from a long line of witches or be taught by other witches. Many of us are self-taught from books. And sadly, many of us live in communities where we might be the only witches around.
Thankfully, there are online communities from which to learn and grow. You don’t need to be a generational witch, or even have a close witch mentor. It’s a practice, and practice is all that’s required.
All in all, Supernatural is a fairly good example of modern witchcraft. The show might not be about witches, but it’s a great representation.
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.
