Watching Practical Magic, As A Modern Witch
Practical Magic is a warm, cozy, feel-good movie for most people of, um, a certain age. This has always amused me since the main story is about a woman accidentally murdering her abusive boyfriend and then having to kill him again when he comes back as a horrifying, soulless monster.
Just a cozy movie for a girl’s night.
Practical Magic is, however, a strangely accurate movie regarding modern witchcraft. And with a sequel in the works (no, there isn’t a release date yet) now seemed like a good time to talk about what they got right from the point of view of a modern witch.
Just the facts
Based on the classic novel of the same title by Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic premiered in 1998. It’s the story of the Owens family. Maria Owens, our main characters’ ancestor, cursed her family line to never fall in love after being left alone by the father of her child. Ever since then, generation after generation has been haunted by this curse.
Sally and Gillian Owens see this curse in their own lives when their father is killed. Sent to live with their aunts, each girl reacts in a wildly different way. Sally tries to cast a spell for the perfect man, believing that she will never find him and therefore never fall in love. Gillian decides to have wild relationships with terrible men. This leads her to an abusive relationship with a sexy asshole named Jimmy. This leads to Sally accidentally poisoning Jimmy with belladonna.
Sally and Gillian try to bring Jimmy back to life so they don’t get arrested for murder. While they’re doing that, a detective comes to town looking for Jimmy. And he happens to look just like the man Sally wished for as a child.
What Practical Magic got right
A lot of the magic in Practical Magic is very familiar to most modern practitioners. Not all of it, of course. Real magic work doesn’t make for good movies, and there are some fantastical aspects to the Owens sisters’ world. None of us can blow on candles to light them, though that would certainly save me money on matches. We can’t send letters to each other on the wind or stir our coffee with thought alone. And any witch dumb enough to jump off their roof with an umbrella is going to end up in the hospital where they belong.
But there was a lot of good magic in here. Starting, of course, with the famous quote from the film.
But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.
Yes, yes to all of that. Rosemary, salt and lavender are all staples for a kitchen witch. These are things that most witches agree heal the body and soul.
Sally is the picture of an herbal witch. She is clearly most at home in the greenhouse. And she makes herbal remedies that the town clearly values.
This rings true for most witches. We usually have some tea or simmer pot or herbal tincture for most everyday ailments. Even the way Sally kills Jimmy is accurate. On that note, don’t take belladonna. Just don’t do it. Because that’s another thing this movie sure as shit got right, and it will kill you if you don’t actually know what you’re doing with it.
Another thing Practical Magic got right is generational curses. Not in the big, scary way that leads to an innocent man getting hit by a car and leaving his wife and children alone way. But in the, we tend to make the same mistakes as our parents because that’s how we were taught to deal with life sort of way. That’s why a lot of witches practice shadowwork. It’s just spicy therapy, making a consistent effort to recognize unhealthy patterns and try to break those cycles.
Of course, the generational cycles of pain are healed in the movie by the women of the town coming together to stand with the Owens sisters. More broadly, the curse is broken when Sally and Gillian trust the town’s women and let them in. When they build a community instead of building a wall. When they find their sisterhood.
Covens and community are important for everyone. And it’s wonderful when you find people who are just as weird as you are. And, as I mentioned in my review of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, magic is stronger when worked among many people.
Finally, I want to talk about the spell that Sally casts as a child. She says she wants to wish for a man who is perfect in every way, too perfect to exist. And the universe brings that impossibly perfect man to her.
This is a huge part of casting spells. Be specific, and ask for exactly what you want. It’s not one hundred percent, not every spell we cast is going to come true. But most witches agree that you don’t get what you don’t ask for. So, if there’s something you want, ask for it specifically. Maybe you’ll get it.
What they got wrong
My only real issue with Practical Magic is that it isn’t what I’d call inclusive. There aren’t any male witches. There are no witches of color. I’m not entirely sure there’s a person of color in the whole movie.
So, that isn’t great. This isn’t that old of a movie.
Not only is this just bad form, bad storytelling and bad casting, but it also reinforces a nasty stereotype that modern witches only look one kind of way. That way being a white cisgender woman. And that’s just not true. Witchcraft is a big community where everyone is welcome. I would love to see that represented in one of the most iconic witch movies of all time. Hopefully, this is something they fix with the sequel.
In conclusion, it’s not hard to see why generations of fans still hold this movie so close to their hearts. And while it could certainly use more inclusion, I don’t see the magic of Practical Magic fading anytime soon.
(4.5 / 5)
By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.
With Season Two of Ann Rice’s Mayfair Witches coming out sometime later this year, I thought it was time for me to check it out. Though I’ve never been a big Ann Rice fan, I thought for sure that a story about witchcraft would be something different. Perhaps it would be less dull, less dramatic, and a bit more fun.
It was not
Just the facts
Released in January of 2023 on AMC, Mayfair Witches is based on the Ann Rice series, Lives of the Mayfair Witches. It follows the tale of Rowan Fielding. Adopted as a baby, Rowan discovers that she’s the heir to a powerful witch family. She’s eventually lured to New Orleans, where she learns more about her forgotten family and the secrets that she’s already a part of.
What Mayfair Witches got right
The first thing that I noticed about the show is the key necklace that several characters wear and carry throughout the show. I appreciated that. For those who don’t know, a key is one of the symbols of a deity known as Hekate. This is a goddess many witches hold a lot of fondness for, as She is considered the goddess of witches, among other things. So I liked seeing her represented.
I also liked that so much of this first season was set in New Orleans. There are many places in America that are strong in witch history and lore, but few are as well known for it as New Orleans. So they got that much right, at least.
What Mayfair Witches got wrong
Unfortunately, that was about all there was to enjoy about Mayfair Witches. I honestly struggled to get through it, if I’m being totally honest.
First, as I’ve mentioned before, witchcraft is not something that must be passed down from parent to child. While your ancestry can play a role in your magic, if you want it to, it’s not the only or even the most important factor. I am the first witch in my family, and I do just fine.
My second complaint is also a complaint about the show in general. Mayfair Witches is not a joyful show. It’s not a funny show. It is a show that takes itself very seriously as it talks about very serious things without a spark of levity or joy anywhere to be seen. Even the party scene in the first episode, The Witching Hour, seems more ominous than fun. No one seems like they’re having a good time. Rather, they all seem like they’re trying very hard to look like they’re having a good time.
This is a problem I have with Rice’s work in general, but it’s especially insulting when we’re talking about witchcraft. Witchcraft is joyful. It’s warm. It’s fiery and passionate. Sometimes it’s serious ritual work, but it’s also laughing when your tarot cards roast you. It’s getting together with friends over the sabbats and sharing good food. It’s making a tea with a spell whispered into it. It’s protecting and providing for yourself and those you love.
There was none of that in Mayfair Witches. There is no joy, or warmth, or giving oneself space and tools for healing. There is no happiness here. And that’s just not witchcraft to me.
Nor, frankly, is it entertaining television.
Finally, I have one last bone to pick with this show. It’s made clear during this season that Rowan has no choice about being a witch. But that’s the opposite of the whole point of witchcraft.
Being a witch is a choice like I said in my Supernatural review. You are not, cannot be a witch unless you decide that you are. No bloodline or initiation is more important to your craft than saying publicly or privately that you are a witch.
In the end, I can’t in good faith recommend Mayfair Witches to you. It’s dull, it takes itself too seriously, and it’s a rather grim depiction of magic in general. If you enjoyed it, I’m happy for you. But as for me, I’ll give it a pass. There are far more interesting stories being told.
(1.5 / 5)
Featuring Shannon LeGro and author Aaron Deese, Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes follows the pair in search of what many believe to be a real-world monster. Small Town Monsters investigates one of the darkest urban legends in North American history.
Well, even though this screener is late by…(checks watch) a few months, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything to say about it. That is to say, I DO have something to say about this new edition about dogman cryptids by STM.
So, welcome to another episode of ‘Brannyk talks about Small Town Monsters’! We’ve explored the Joisey Devil, aliens giving boo boos to cows, totally Bigfoot, a big ol’ stinky doggo, your tea-spilling ghost-witch, an alien Bigfoot with a hankering for a good peanut butter sandwich, Cowboy Werewolves, ‘The STM Which Will Not Be Named‘, and Native skinwalking creeps. We have a new screener from Small Town Monsters.
Plot of Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes
We follow Aaron Deese on his quest to find out the mystery of the massacre that happened at the Land Between the Lakes, a recreational area bordering on Kentucky and Tennessee.
With Shannon LeGro by his side, the two investigate the strange encounters locals have reported. Gathering modern day and older accounts of super stinky dogmen, Deese ventures deeper into the lore and history of the site to see is there’s any truth to the massacre accounted there or if they’re all just campfire stories…
Thoughts on Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes:
Nope. The “massacre” accounts are completely bogus third-rate creepy pasta stories. The one guy that they found from the internet won’t even be interviewed on camera and has…lacking testimony, and I say that generously.
Thankfully, Deese gets right to it and even he himself seems disappointed by what he discovers. And he just kind of blows past it, not really spending much time on the whole “massacre”. It’s a smart move and I appreciated it because instead of draaaaawing it out, he chose instead to focus on what matters – the locals and the history.
And, as always, with Breedlove at the helm, the historical facts of this recreation area are highlighted, such as the area being designated a recreation area by President Kennedy and the Tennessee Valley Authority exercising imminent domain. By this action, approximately 800 families were displaced from their land, causing protests and outrage by some of the families. Shining a light on a history that most don’t realize or possibly have forgotten.
And one last thought: this sewer-juice-smelling dogman is a massive dick. He, like, tries to kill you and then teleports out just for shits and giggles. Massive douche.
Brainroll Juice:
I’m not sure exactly why cryptid investigator Martin Grove became such a turning point for me in the documentary, but boy, he sure did. Martin is an absolute delight and I will bare-knuckle fight anyone who disagrees (I’m not saying that I’d win, keep that in mind, just that I would).
He’s just so genuine and curious that, even though I’m still a skeptic, I’d 100% go looking for a super smelly, translucent alien/demon dogman with him. You can tell that Martin Groves has no doubt in what he does and tries his very best to figure out the mystery behind the dogman between the Lakes. Often at his own expense and safety.
It was the Texas dogman STM that talked about people being depressed after they’ve had a cryptid experience, often finding themselves isolated from friends and family who just…don’t understand. They feel like people think they’re crazy and that they’re alone in their experiences and feelings. Many times becoming withdrawn and, well, traumatized.
Martin talks like he’s seeking proof just so people who had dogmen experiences don’t have to feel alone or crazy. That people can take comfort that what they saw is real and true. He’s standing up to that stanky-ass dogman and risking his own health by going into the creepy woods at night and searching for what he believes in.
And it doesn’t matter if you or I believe in a garbage-sludge, asshole dogman because what Martin is doing is beautiful. It’s the American dream. Believing in yourself and fighting for those who can’t.
And THAT is what Small Town Monsters is all about.
Bottomline:
If you’re here for the people and less for the dogmen, this is a great snapshot of the history and people of the region. Also, when is Martin Groves going to get his own paranormal show?
(3.5 / 5)
And now a word from Small Town Monsters
Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes
Now Streaming Exclusively on Prime Video
Available on Blu/DVD from Small Town Monsters
Massilon, OH– Venture deep into the Land Between the Lakes as Small Town Monsters investigates one of the darkest urban legends in North American history. Featuring Shannon LeGro and author Aaron Deese, Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes includes interviews with witnesses, researchers and long-time locals of the Tennessee and Kentucky borders, all in search of what many believe to be a real-world monster. Dogman Territory: Werewolves in The Land Between the Lakes is now available exclusively on Amazon Prime Video. A Blu-ray (SRP $19.99) and DVD (SRP ($14.99) will be available exclusively from the Small Town Monsters shop.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w3T8ZFUhck
Supernatural is not strictly a show about witchcraft. Or, is it?
Sam, Dean and John Winchester are not witches.
Or, are they? When you watch Supernatural as a modern witch, you realize that a lot of what the Winchester boys do during their battles to protect the world from monsters are things we do as part of our witchy routines.
Just the facts
Starting in 2005 and running until 2020 for fifteen seasons, Supernatural tells the stories of Sam and Dean Winchester as they protect the world from the forces of darkness. Together with a collection of human and otherworldly allies, they battle demons, ghosts, cryptids and all manner of horrifying dark creatures. It was one of many CW shows that delved into the darker side of the world before committing entirely to bad DC content.
What Supernatural got right
The first thing that jumps out when watching Supernatural is the metric ton of salt used in the show. Specifically, salt is used to protect against any number of ghastly things.
This is very familiar to any modern witch. We have so much salt. Black salt, red salt, blessed salt. Salt to cleanse, salt to banish, salt to protect. When I saw Dean and Sam with massive containers of kitchen salt, I felt like I’d found my people.
Then there is of course John Winchesters notebook. Or, dare I say, grimoire. This also felt familiar. And it’s one of the things I loved the most about Supernatural.
Look, we all want the big family grimoire with the lovely, flowing artwork and beautiful handwritten spells like in Charmed. But in reality, most grimoires look a lot more like the Winchester notebook, with sketches and notes shoved in and held in place with gum bands and paperclips. And while I’m not going to say that my grimoire has daring notes about demonic beings I’ve battled, it certainly has more quick sketches (mostly of plants) than it does beautiful calligraphy. This is supposed to be a useful document full of information we can reference quickly, not an art piece.
Longtime viewers of the show will point out that not only do the Winchesters not call themselves witches, but they often interact with witches. Sometimes as allies, and sometimes as enemies.
The witches in the show are pretty true to life. They are good and bad. They can be anyone, from any walks of life.
The witches use many tools modern practitioners use, including crystals, scrying mirrors and protection symbols. Honestly, they are pretty spot-on. Except for the spectacular TV magic they implement.
Finally, I want to discuss the question I asked at the start. Are the Winchesters witches?
No, they’re not. Because they don’t claim the title. Even if someone does magic, they’re not a witch unless they say they’re a witch. The whole point of witchcraft, after all, is personal power and personal choice.
What Supernatural got wrong
All of that being said, Supernatural was of course not a perfect depiction of witchcraft. For one thing, there is no grand coven of witches. I don’t think enough of us could agree on enough to create one.
But if we did, Stevie Nicks would be the Supreme.
Witches also don’t have to come from a long line of witches or be taught by other witches. Many of us are self-taught from books. And sadly, many of us live in communities where we might be the only witches around.
Thankfully, there are online communities from which to learn and grow. You don’t need to be a generational witch, or even have a close witch mentor. It’s a practice, and practice is all that’s required.
All in all, Supernatural is a fairly good example of modern witchcraft. The show might not be about witches, but it’s a great representation.
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.
