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Supernatural is not strictly a show about witchcraft. Or, is it?

Sam, Dean and John Winchester are not witches.

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki in Supernatural.

Or, are they? When you watch Supernatural as a modern witch, you realize that a lot of what the Winchester boys do during their battles to protect the world from monsters are things we do as part of our witchy routines.

Just the facts

Starting in 2005 and running until 2020 for fifteen seasons, Supernatural tells the stories of Sam and Dean Winchester as they protect the world from the forces of darkness. Together with a collection of human and otherworldly allies, they battle demons, ghosts, cryptids and all manner of horrifying dark creatures. It was one of many CW shows that delved into the darker side of the world before committing entirely to bad DC content.

What Supernatural got right

The first thing that jumps out when watching Supernatural is the metric ton of salt used in the show. Specifically, salt is used to protect against any number of ghastly things.

This is very familiar to any modern witch. We have so much salt. Black salt, red salt, blessed salt. Salt to cleanse, salt to banish, salt to protect. When I saw Dean and Sam with massive containers of kitchen salt, I felt like I’d found my people.

Then there is of course John Winchesters notebook. Or, dare I say, grimoire. This also felt familiar. And it’s one of the things I loved the most about Supernatural.

Look, we all want the big family grimoire with the lovely, flowing artwork and beautiful handwritten spells like in Charmed. But in reality, most grimoires look a lot more like the Winchester notebook, with sketches and notes shoved in and held in place with gum bands and paperclips. And while I’m not going to say that my grimoire has daring notes about demonic beings I’ve battled, it certainly has more quick sketches (mostly of plants) than it does beautiful calligraphy. This is supposed to be a useful document full of information we can reference quickly, not an art piece.

Longtime viewers of the show will point out that not only do the Winchesters not call themselves witches, but they often interact with witches. Sometimes as allies, and sometimes as enemies.

Alexander Calvert and Ruth Connell in Supernatural.

The witches in the show are pretty true to life. They are good and bad. They can be anyone, from any walks of life.

The witches use many tools modern practitioners use, including crystals, scrying mirrors and protection symbols. Honestly, they are pretty spot-on. Except for the spectacular TV magic they implement.

Finally, I want to discuss the question I asked at the start. Are the Winchesters witches?

No, they’re not. Because they don’t claim the title. Even if someone does magic, they’re not a witch unless they say they’re a witch. The whole point of witchcraft, after all, is personal power and personal choice.

What Supernatural got wrong

All of that being said, Supernatural was of course not a perfect depiction of witchcraft. For one thing, there is no grand coven of witches. I don’t think enough of us could agree on enough to create one.

But if we did, Stevie Nicks would be the Supreme.

Witches also don’t have to come from a long line of witches or be taught by other witches. Many of us are self-taught from books. And sadly, many of us live in communities where we might be the only witches around.

Thankfully, there are online communities from which to learn and grow. You don’t need to be a generational witch, or even have a close witch mentor. It’s a practice, and practice is all that’s required.

All in all, Supernatural is a fairly good example of modern witchcraft. The show might not be about witches, but it’s a great representation.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

By the way, if you like this you might enjoy my haunted apartment novella, Quiet Apocalypse. The main character is a modern witch, and I share some real magic in this fictional story of an unexpected end of the world.

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Goosebumps The Vanishing Ends, Damned With Faint Praise

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We’ve reached the end of Goosebumps, The Vanishing. And after eight episodes of quality going up and down, I’m sad to say that the finale held to that theme.

Cover for Goosebumps, Invasion of the Body Squeezers.

The story

We begin this episode with the teens getting ready to go down into the fort to save their dad. Dr. Pamani gave them serum injections to keep them from being turned into pods. Then she locks them in, intending to never let them out again.

Through a series of quick thinking and bravery, everyone makes it out of the fort, though. Including Matty, Nicole, Hannah and Sameer.

For a time it looks like everything is going to be alright. Until Anthony tells Jen that they’ve got to do something about the alien ship that’s still trapped within the fort.

By the way, watch this with the caption on. It’s fantastic.

Jen and Anthony go back to Dr. Pamani’s lab in time to realize that no one is safe. Least of all, their kids.

Ana Ortiz and David Schwimmer in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

What worked

You might notice that the ‘rescuing Dad from the pod’ part of this episode was over pretty fast. That’s because the actual story of this episode was about what came out of the facility rather than what was going on down there. And that was a surprising misdirect. I enjoyed that I didn’t see this misdirection coming. Well done.

I will also say that this episode was fun to watch. The critters were equal parts creepy and kind of cute. The dialog was fun and there were a lot of laughs.

This ending was also satisfying. All the questions are answered. Everyone gets a happy ending and all the people you want to get together do. It was a solid ending with no loose threads.

What didn’t work

Unfortunately, that’s all the good things I can say about this episode.

Let’s start with the continued superficiality of the whole story. I just didn’t feel much of anything for any of these characters. I had a little twinge of bittersweetness when Matty looked through the box of his old things. But that was about it.

Francesca Noel, Stony Blyden and Galilea La Salvia  in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

The problem here was that everything was going too fast. We jumped from chaos to chaos so fast that the emotions didn’t have time to sink in. It was like rain on a dry field. No matter how much falls, if it can’t be absorbed it’s not going to do much good.

Here’s the real problem I have with this episode, though.

You’ll recall that in the last episode, I was irritated by how quickly Dr. Pamani decided to help the kids. It should surprise exactly no one that she didn’t decide to help them, but to trap them in the facility to be podded forevermore.

Invasion of the Body Squeezers: Part 1 (Goosebumps Classics #41) (Classic Goosebumps)
  • Goosebumps now on Disney+!Jack Archer is convinced something strange is going on at his neighbor’s house
  • Mr
  • Fleshman always wears all black, hardly ever leaves his house, and never says hello to anyone

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While I’m thrilled that Dr. Pamani didn’t just change her mind, I still think it was dumb as shit that anyone, especially our main characters, thought she did. These teens aren’t dumb. Kids aren’t dumb. We shouldn’t be portraying kids as dumb in a show for kids.

I’m not saying this series was pure garbage. I’m not saying it was dangerous or unwatchable. I’m just saying that, if it didn’t have the name Goosebumps, I probably never would have watched it. This story just doesn’t have the same staying power that the original stories do. It was fine to watch, but in the end, just didn’t have enough substance to warrant a rewatch.

3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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Goosebumps Sputters along with Camp Nightmare

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After a shaky start, Goosebumps The Vanishing is still on shaky ground with this penultimate episode. While there were some surprises, a lot of them were rather disappointing.

Original cover for Goosebumps Welcome To Camp Nightmare.

I feel like I say this a lot, but if you’ve read the original book then you might have a hint about where this is going. But it won’t tell you the whole story. So let’s take a trip to Camp Nightmare and see what’s waiting for us.

The story

We begin this episode with a flashback to the Fort before it was a fort. A group of Camp Nightmoon campers is hiking there with the worst camp counselor ever. It was almost a relief when the mysterious monster reached up from the cliffside and grabbed him.

Back in the present, the teens are putting the pieces together. They track down Dr. Pamani’s father and even find a book he published. They then locate the address of her lab and break in. There, they find her journals that chronicle the discovery of the monster, and how it managed to kill her entire team.

What worked

In this episode, and in fact this season, scientists are not the bad guys. Which is a relief. Science fiction and horror tend to hold up a mirror to society, showing us what we’re really scared of using monsters and ghosts as allegories. So often, when people are wary of science and scientists, we have horror movies that demonize them.

Sahana Srinivasan in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

But that’s not what happened here. The scientists are not necessarily the good guys, but the ones who tried to save the world. Even though they failed, they tried.

One good example of this was Dr. Pamani telling her father, “We’re scientists, not soldiers.” This is a great line. And this episode had a lot of great lines. The dialog was on point. Nothing felt forced, but it also felt polished and impactful. It was just overall well done.

I also enjoyed, to a point, the flashback scenes to 1969. It was interesting to see the people who tried to contain this entity. To learn from it. The flashback was also ominous. Because never did the characters explain how this entity got there. They didn’t seem interested in that, only in how to destroy it. Since we don’t know why or how it came to New York, we don’t know if there are more of them somewhere else. And since everyone’s being so secretive, we might never know.

Until it’s too late.

What didn’t work

Unfortunately, this episode failed more than it succeeded.

Let’s start with the sudden change of heart Dr. Pamani has. For decades, she’s been controlling and containing this creature. She’s been careful to never take risks that might release it into the world. So when Cece and Devin want to go save their dad, she says no.

At first. Then, after a not-so-passionate plea by Cece, she changes her mind and agrees to help them save Anthony.

Which seems like a really quick departure from her stance just moments before. Honestly, this wasn’t believable at all. It was lazy. It felt like they just didn’t have a good enough reason for her to change her mind, so they just handwaved it away.

This wasn’t the only part of the story that was too easy. This whole investigation went smoothly for them. They wanted to find the book by Dr. Avi Pamani, and they found it at the library. They didn’t even find it. The librarian found it for them. They wanted to find Dr. Pamani’s address. They found it in seconds and also found her credit score. They got into her lab by doing nothing more than cutting a chain holding the door shut. And we’re supposed to believe that no one ever thought to do any of this? Four teenagers vanished in the 1990s, and none of their family members were ever able to put all this together. That just doesn’t make sense to me.

Jayden Bartels, Francesca Noel and Elijah M. Cooper in Goosebumps The Vanishing.

Both of these issues feed into the main problem with this episode. The whole thing felt watered way down. Especially after the hints about some horrific medical experiments taking place at the fort. I love a good horrific medical experiment story, so I was looking forward to that.

But that’s not what happened. Instead, it was a watered-down alien invasion story with a bunch of people who did their best and failed. It just felt like, frankly, not enough. It felt like there could have been so much more, should have been so much more. Instead, we got the Great Value version of what we could have had.

At this point, I think I’m too invested to give up. After all, there’s just one more episode left. But I’d be lying if I said that was something I’m looking forward to.

3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

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Goosebumps, The Girl Next Door is For The Found Footage Lovers

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This season of Goosebumps has been kind of slow so far. While there have certainly been some fun moments, it’s been more misses than hits. But The Girl Next Door turned that around.

Original cover from Goosebumps The Ghost Next Door.

It also felt like it was tailor-made for someone like me. Millennials love nostalgia, and this episode had that in droves. But you know what we also love?

Found footage.

The story

We begin our episode with Anthony in Dr. Pamani’s lab. He’s really gone to pieces. And rather than trying to put him back together, Dr. Pamani seems to want to melt these pieces down.

Meanwhile, the teens gather at Cece and Devin’s grandmother’s nursing home to watch the tape. When they do, they learn more than some of them wanted to about their parents’ childhoods.

Still from Goosebumps The Girl Next Door.

Together with them, we see a day or two before Matty and his friends went missing. We see Jen being toxic towards a new girl named Hannah. Yes, this is the same Hannah that Devin is currently spending time with.

Eventually, the rest of the kids realize this too. They go to find Devin, who by that time was very much in need of rescuing.

What worked

Let’s start by talking about the dark comedy in this episode. Because it was legitimately hilarious. Starting with Anthony’s overly calm conversation with our mystery antagonist, Dr. Pamani. He asks her if she killed his brother, and she says no. Then he asks if she’s killing him. Which is a fair question at that time, because she seems to be melting his body parts.

Also, she was smart enough to know about our mystery plant monster but not smart enough to keep her damned face off the doorbell camera. That feels very Boomer and very funny.

As we mentioned earlier, this episode relies heavily on found footage. Namely, the video Anthony and Matty made that caught the final moments of the teens who died at Camp Nightmare. Found footage is catnip for me, so I loved it. But it was also good found footage. It included the lovely little moments we all enjoy, like people asking why someone’s still filming. Or the shocked looks of people recording things they weren’t supposed to hear. And, of course, the sad moments that are only sad in hindsight. Like Anthony and Matty’s last game of table tennis.

I won’t lie, I almost teared up at that one.

The Ghost Next Door (Classic Goosebumps #29)
  • Goosebumps available now on Disney+!”HOW COME I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE?”Hannah’s neighborhood has gotten a little
  • weird
  • Ever since that new boy moved in next door

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Finally, I want to talk about Dr. Pamani. Because so far she’s been great. We have no idea if she’s going to end up as a friend or enemy. And I think it largely is going to depend on the circumstances. She doesn’t have the same goals as the teens, but I don’t know that her goals are bad. She is only interested in containing these monster plants. This is a worthy goal. She isn’t going to care if some kids and their parents die in her efforts to save the world, though. This seems like it would be an acceptable loss for her. So while she isn’t exactly bad, she isn’t good either. And I’m sure if push comes to shove, she’ll shove.

What didn’t work

As much as I loved Dr. Pamani, I am sad to say I wasn’t as pleased with Hannah. Going into this episode, I was expecting her to be a pod person. Creation of the plant creature. I noticed she looked a bit like a mix between Alex and Frankie, and thought the plant might have taken some of their DNA and made a body for itself. But, if you’ve read the book this episode is named after, I bet you know that wasn’t Hannah’s story. But that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Sam McCarthy and Eloise Payet in Goosebumps The Girl Next Door.

We haven’t been dealing with ghosts this whole season. And episode six of an eight episode season isn’t when we should start throwing in new world rules. We had an antagonist the characters were dealing with. We didn’t need another one.

There are only two episodes left in the season, so things should be wrapping up. I’m excited to see how they handle it. And interested to see if everyone’s making it out of the basement alive.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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