There’s a simple joy to someone reading you a story. It’s like being a child again.
Of course, most of us here were twisted children who liked darker tales. The tales no parent in their right mind would tell a child at bedtime.
But that’s okay, we’re grown-ups now. So we can tuck ourselves into bed with some spiked hot chocolate, and enjoy the Simply Scary podcasts.
This podcast series encompasses three shows. The flagship, Simply Scary, isn’t around anymore. It’s morphed into Chilling Tales for Dark Nights. This same creative team brings us Otis Jiry’s Scary Stories Told in the Dark.
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The name isn’t the only thing that’s referencing the wildly popular Scary Stories to Tell in The Dark. The cover uses a similar color pattern and style. I am totally fine with that.
This is the podcast to listen to if you love original stories from writers who are just as twisted as we are. And it starts strong. The very first episode includes a story called The Odd Kids. Alabama seems like the sort of place you’d find some weird children hanging out in the woods, and that’s exactly what happened. What happened after that defied all of my expectations.
The production value of these stories is spot on. The sound effects and music are wonderfully eerie. The voice actors are exceptional. And the hosts are a creepy delight. Otis is a personal favorite of mine. Not just because he sounds like Norm Macdonald (may he rest in peace). But because he reminds me of the uncle who teaches you dirty jokes and scary stories to get back at his older siblings for scaring the hell out of him as a child.
I have yet to listen to an episode of any of these podcasts that weren’t, well, simply scary. We find prophetic tattoos, psychotic mean girls, and haunted junk that should have been left on the side of the world.
These podcasts are, as far as I can tell, meant for adults. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling like a child when I listen to these, in the best way possible. So curl up, grab your headless doll, and let’s listen to a simply scary story.
We’ve reached episode three of the Dolores Roach podcast. And yes, there is finally some blood on Dolores’s hands.
The story
When we begin our tale, Dolores is disappointed. No one has come for a massage. She’s disappointed, but not surprised. Seeing as how her only advertisement is a handwritten sign on the front window of Empanadas Loco, I’m not surprised either.
Then, she gives Nellie a massage. And she’s just blown away.
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Soon lots of people are coming for massages. And even better, they’re telling their friends. Dolores thinks she’s making good money. She tries to give some to Luis for the rent. You know, the rent he hasn’t paid in months, giving the landlord a reason to kick him out. But he refuses. He doesn’t want to give Mr. Pearlman, the new landlord, the satisfaction of paying him.
While I understand the instinct, my guy, this isn’t a good move. Eventually, Mr. Pearlman shows up in person.
Mr. Pearlman, by the way, is played by the delightfully funny Richard Kind.
Dolores walks in on Mr. Pearlman and Luis yelling at each other. While both men have some good points to make, I stopped having any sympathy for Mr. Pearlman when he started calling Luis Louis.
Dolores finally calms Mr. Pearlman down by offering to pay him the rent for the month. She takes him downstairs and offers him around $550.
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At this point, Pearlman loses his temper. This isn’t a fraction of the rent for a residential and business location in NYC.
Dolores manages to get Pearlman to sit down for a massage. Eventually, things escalate, and he’s lying down with nothing but his undershorts on.
Then, he falls asleep.
And Dolores sees the man who’s threatening her new home, her new life, asleep on her table, after telling her that he was kicking them out of the building because ‘It’s survival of the fittest’ out there.
This was not the fittest decision for him.
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What worked
One thing that’s quite different in this version than on the show is the relationship between Nellie and Dolores. While they had a good relationship in the show, Nellie is an active force for good in Dolores’s life. She took her shopping, she encouraged her to apply for work. She recommends Dolores to her friends. As much as Luis helps her, giving her a place to stay and food, it’s Nellie who inspires her to be independent.
I am also just blown away by the voice acting, especially in this episode. There is a scene, leading up to the death of Mr. Pearlman, where Rubin-Vega’s cadence changes dramatically. You can feel the excitement, the fear, the anxiety of what she’s doing. It’s enough to make my heart race, and I wasn’t even killing anybody.
Finally, I was delighted to see that there are some big-name actors in this series. Margaret Cho plays Joy, the cheerful laundromat owner who we haven’t met yet. And Richard Kind played the ill-fated Mr. Pearlman. It’s fantastic to see these actors in a podcast because often fiction podcasts are seen as sort of indie things. Some of them are, like mine. But it should be seen as a valuable art form. Listening to a podcast is a different experience than watching a show or even listening to an audiobook. I consider the addition of well-known actors as a sign that the audio drama format is getting the respect it deserves.
What didn’t work
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I’m honestly struggling with this part again. Listening to Dolores Roach, I’m having a hard time finding anything to critique about it. It’s just a good story well told.
The Dolores Roach podcast is turning out to be darker than the show. With a main character who’s intent not just on surviving, but thriving, the story takes on a richer and more sinister tone. Dolores is choosing to kill to protect this new life she’s found. And this leads us to ask a dark question. Do we blame her? Can we honestly say that we wouldn’t be tempted to do the same?
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like my writing, you might want to check out my latest sci-fi horror story, Nova. It’ll be released episodically on my site, Paper Beats World, starting February 5th.
Episode two of the podcast Dolores Roach wasn’t as bloody as I was hoping for. There wasn’t any blood at all. But it was still a fun ride. Let’s discuss.
The story
Our episode begins with Dolores sleeping in. Luis brings her something to eat and tries to get her to go outside. When he fails, he sends Nellie down instead.
Nellie manages to get Dolores out to do some shopping. She talks to Dolores about her mother, who is in prison. She even manages to get Dolores to apply for a job. It’s a job at Starbucks, but it’s a start.
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And for a few hours at least it seems like Dolores’s life might be getting back on track.
Then, the water goes out in the whole building. As it turns out, the building recently got a new landlord. And that landlord wants Luis out.
In part, the landlord wants to clear out the building so he can sell it for a profit. And this is a scummy thing to do, no question. On the other hand, Luis hasn’t paid any rent since his dad passed. So, that’s not great.
Dolores feels her haven fading away. But if she’s panicking, it’s nothing to the breakdown Luis has. But she manages to calm him down with a massage.
This massage gives Luis an idea. Instead of Dolores trying and failing to find a barista job (Starbucks hired someone younger) she can give massages in her apartment. And, being the sort to jump in without thinking, he puts a handwritten sign on the front window of Empanadas Loco advertising massages by Magic Hands Dolores.
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What worked
I love a good story, that’s always got to come first. And Dolores Roach has a great story. But more than that, there’s a relatable message behind it. A damning one.
When Dolores gets out of jail, she wants to be an upstanding citizen. She wants, in her words, to be above board. But she’s going to have a hell of a time doing that. Former felons have an incredibly difficult time obtaining gainful employment. They’re also going to have trouble renting a home. In most cases, they don’t qualify for any sort of government assistance.
It kind of makes it hard to survive. And that’s something we aren’t talking about enough.
If Dolores had been able to get a job at Starbucks, maybe she wouldn’t have had to start giving massages without a license. Or, you know, snapping necks.
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I also loved the character development in this episode. No one in this show thinks they’re a secondary character. They are all living their own lives.
Let me give you an example of this. Nellie goes out of her way in this episode to make Dolores feel better. She goes shopping with her and takes her out for coffee. Nellie isn’t just doing this because Dolores needs help. She’s doing this because her mother is in jail. I appreciate it when people act like their own lives matter, rather than being just a prop for the main character to bounce off of.
What didn’t work
Much like in the show, the story takes its time to get started. And I get that. I appreciate that we need to set the scene for Dolores. We need to see exactly how much she is backed into a corner.
But it would be nice to have a little bit of blood in these first two episodes. Episode one at least had a hint that things are going to go very bad and very bloody. We could have used just a little something in this episode.
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Just a taste.
But that’s a small detail. This episode of Dolores Roach was entertaining, and touching and increased the tension of the season. I’m interested to see what happens next.
(3.5 / 5)
By the way, if you like my writing, you might want to check out my latest sci-fi horror story, Nova. It’ll be released episodically on my site, Paper Beats World, starting February 5th.
Released in October of 2018, the podcast Dolores Roach is a magically gory romp. After devouring the first season of the show it inspired on Amazon (and learning to make empanadas) I couldn’t wait to dig into the two-season podcast.
That said, as we go through this podcast together I’ll endeavor to discuss it on its own terms, rather than comparing and contrasting it with the show. This is, after all, the source material.
And it is delicious.
The Story
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We begin our tale with Dolores, talking to someone we haven’t yet identified. She’s telling her story, explaining how she’s ended up in the sewer.
Sixteen years earlier, Dolores was dating a drug dealer named Dominic. There was a drug bust, and Dolores went to jail for selling weed.
But she’s out now, her debt to society paid. You know, the debt she owed for helping to sell something legal in literally almost half the country.
But she’s out now, and she is not having a good first day out. Her neighborhood is nothing like she remembers it. It’s been gentrified. There’s someone else living in her old apartment. And nobody knows where Dominic is.
But Dolores finally finds one familiar place. Empanadas Loco, still run by her old friend Luis.
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Her good old friend Luis. And for one shining moment, it seems like Dolores might have found a haven to start putting her life back in order.
Of course, we know, it won’t last.
What worked
We can’t start talking about the merits of Dolores Roach without talking about the main character herself. Played by Daphne Rubin-Vega, she is such a relatable character. She just got out of prison for something she never should have been in prison for, only to find her home completely different from when she left it. A place where she once felt safe, where she once belonged, is gone.
We can feel her relief upon finding Empanadas Loco and Luis. Not just relief but joy.
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This episode asks us to consider what we would miss most if we were suddenly taken unjustly from our homes and families. Not just the big things, like our families. But simple things, like getting takeout from your favorite local place. Getting a shower in peace with the door closed and locked. Having a comfortable bed to sleep in. Enjoying your intoxicating item of choice. What would you miss the most?
Another thing I loved about this episode was that it started right out inspiring questions. Even if you did watch the show first.
I am so intrigued by this first episode. I have so many questions that I need answers to. Why is Dolores in a sewer? And who is she telling her story to?
Finally, I want to talk about Kita Updike, who plays Nellie in both the show and podcast. And she does a fantastic job in both. I’m excited to see how she does in the rest of the season.
What didn’t work
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It’s really hard to say that anything didn’t work in this first episode. If anything, I’d say that maybe some of Luis’s lines were a bit rushed. But that’s a minor issue.
Overall, this was a warm, realistic start to the story. I find it impossible not to open my heart to Dolores all over again. I can’t wait to dive into the next episode.
As a final thought, I want to remind you that every time a story is retold, it takes on new voices and new inspiration. So even if you watched Dolores Roach along with me last year, it’s not wise to assume we already know how the story ends. Likewise, even when we finish the podcast we don’t know for sure how the show will resolve in season two. When seeing a story retold in a different medium, it’s always best to experience both as if the other one didn’t exist. If you leave yourself the room to be surprised, chances are good that you will be.
But I guess we’ll have to see as the season goes on.
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(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like my writing, you might want to check out my latest sci-fi horror story, Nova. It’ll be released episodically on my site, Paper Beats World, starting February 5th.
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