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Trigger warnings: animal abuse and gore mentioned

So, I wish that I had seen the original cover because that would have answered some of my questions. Not all of them, oh heavens no, but a good lot of them. Like, what time period are we in? I asked myself this over and over because it was unabashedly unclear. With references to Dick Tracy, Lana Turner, and MTV – it could be anywhere from the 1930’s to 1990’s (let’s get real, after the 90’s there really wasn’t an MTV anymore). With kids going to the corner store to get a coke and ride around town, it sounds like the 1960’s. But in one instance, it makes fun of the 1950’s, as if it were an era from a hundred years ago. It is both in the past and in the future. It is a paradox!

Oh wait, here’s the original cover:

Does evil accumulate interest? Because I have some student loans…

Okay, great. Late 80’s, early 90’s – got it. Poof, I’m there. And I’m deducing that it was written by an older person because, again, a nine year old boy doesn’t know what the hell a Dick Tracy is in the late 80’s-early 90’s (trust me, no one saw that film and everyone who has has long since blocked it from their memory).

Oh, what, you want to know about the book? Oh, yes, I should review it since I read it. Or rather, listened to it, via Audible. This is the Audible cover:

When evil makes a deal, it collects…in stock pictures

I have to say, it doesn’t do it any justice at all. Even for a book that I’m about to give two Cthulhus to, it deserves the original cover because it explains the book so much better and is just a beautiful image. It primes you for what the book is truly about and what to expect – white people problems witchcraft.

All the characters…from the first three chapters…

The Plot:

There are a million characters, I’m going to narrow them down to three: Nancy, Lana, and Spiro.

Lana is the new girl in town, just moved from Texas after her mother’s messy divorce and work relocation. She is beautiful, but down-to-earth, and trying to find new friends while her mother resettles and her younger brother is a straight-up asshole. She is just the girl next door, literally.

Next door lives Spiro, a boy Lana’s age, with developmental and intellectual disabilities. He is shy, awkward, and horrendously bullied at school, regardless of his enormous stature. Growing up fatherless, his mother is cruel and archaic, punishing him for every imagined slight and then often neglecting him. He becomes infatuated with Lana, due to her kindness.

Nancy is a popular girl in the school, brash and unafraid of anything, she goes into the crypt one night of the local cursed family and finds a book. The local legends say that the family were witches and had sacrificed a baby to the devil for powers and immortality, and intrigued, Nancy begins to dabble with the book, to see if the rumors are true.

All three of their lives interweave when mysterious things around town keep happening – could Nancy be the cause of it? Or perhaps the family isn’t as dead as everyone thought?

Thoughts:

Okay, first off, the beginning 3/4ths of this book are pretty uninteresting; it’s mainly setting up “character” where there just isn’t any. As stated, there are so many characters that it’s ridiculous, even the parents of the kids are introduced, and then other characters are introduced half-way in. It’s a mess. Honestly, a lot of it could have been cut down and wouldn’t be missed.

Won’t someone look past her Texan accent and just give her a chance?

To boot, all of the characters (except for Lana) are awful, insufferable people. It’s hard to listen to them when they are moldy garbage people who are just as interesting as the little bits of toilet paper stuck to the tp roll. Lana is constantly surrounded by young men who want to sexually harass her, her brother who literally wants to ruin her life, and the clique-ish girls at the school. But at the same time, it’s hard to identify with her because we’re constantly reminded how utterly smoking hot she is.

Most of the reviews I’ve read love the first part and hate the second, or never even get to the second. The “second” is the last 1/4th and was infinitely better because it went bawls-to-the-walls insane and gory. Fowler is actually very good at writing gore and, hoo boy, there needed to be 80% more gore and spooky and 120% less talking about nothing and getting Cokes at the burger shop.

MAJOR bummer, your insides are out – how will you go to prom now?

The gore is mostly body horror, but there’s plenty of animal murder (which a lot of people found offensive by the comments I read) and…I’m not sure how to put this…gross baby-making-type stuff. You could find it vulgar, I mostly just found it erring on the side of sexist (and yes, I know this was a lady writer). Eyeballs do explode. I found that delightful. I also was entertained when a character’s naughty-bits started “spraying blood all over the living room like an unmanned firehouse”.

There are a few clever ideas that I won’t let spoil the story but, lightly, I think how some of the demons manifest and are different characters would have been more terrific if better explored and savored. I always find demons as characters interesting; unfortunately, these were the typical, standard issue demons, which is almost ironic because there’s a point when someone does a bit with The Exorcist, and then Fowler just kind of copies it later. It would have been great to set up the human characters in the first part, slowly trickle the demons in with their own personalities so that we’re acquainted with them, and then go to the climax of the story with everything mixed.

Just a demon

Honestly, I think this would have worked better as a short story or novella. There was too much fluff to get to where we wanted and needed to be.

Brain Roll Juice:

I’m going to get this out of the way first because it didn’t sit well and now that I have a timeline I can say, “Don’t give me ‘it was just different times’ bull-hockey.” It was, indeed, different times. Different, racist and sexist times. But before those fun times, let’s get to that other thing stuck in my craw – the treatment of Spiro. And I’m not talking about the kids in the book.

I am well aware, thank you

Spiro has some kind of developmental and/or intellectual disability, brought on from when his mother contracted German measles/Rubella and he, in utero, suffered from encephalitis (inflammation of the brain). He is seventeen, over six feet and two hundred pounds, and physically and mentally abused by his peers, teachers, and mother. He is in the same classes without additional support as his peers. He is punished with detention for “daydreaming”. He is called “’Tardo” and “freak” within earshot of teachers and authority figures. He is often physically abused by his mother.

He also turns into a disgusting creep and is painted in so broad and stereotypical a brush that I found it offensive.

From “gentle giant” stereotype to “creeper of the only nice girl to me” stereotype to “snapping from repression” stereotype to “spoiler spoiler spoiler” stereotype. There isn’t anything clever or sincere about the character and that chips my paint. He is the only diverse character in the whole bunch and he has absolutely nothing of substance to say or do. I was furious because I was excited to see a rare neuro-diverse character in horror as, what I thought, was a lead role (the first chapter starts with him – he introduces the story), or at least a sympathetic role.

And no, that ending doesn’t factor in. Without going into details, let’s just say that his send off was very similar to the classic moment in TV history:

And then Spiro still had to do the runway show, even though he had been eliminated

The same sentiment can be said with the wildly racist comments that drop out of flipping nowhere, like, “that’s why Japanese people’s eyes are slanted…all the books they read”, “Is an African’s hair kinky?” (used like “does a bear sh– in the woods?”), and “ghetto blaster” as a sobriquet for a boombox. Or the introduction to the only black character at the end of the book that actually calls his peers, “chillun”.

Poor Michael Reaves, the narrator, for having to cough out these lines and make the best out of it. He’s even had to narrate a gastric sleeve cookbook and probably had a better time with that.

Pictured: More fun than racist old horror

But let’s take a look back – this was published in 1992. The year that Dr. Mae Jemison became the first African American woman to travel into space; that the Kentucky Supreme Court held that laws criminalizing same-sex sodomy are unconstitutional (and accurately predicted that other states and the nation would eventually rule the same way); and a TWO full years after Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was signed into law.

So, what am I saying? I’m saying that you’re right. The times were different and changing. This book has aged and will continue to do so. Even if this is just a pulp horror novel, it’s also a time capsule. I can read this and watch a movie like “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” and see how far our narrative focus has changed. Call it SJW-appeasement or diversity-pandering, but it has changed. It’s no longer just 311 pages filled with average high school melodrama with occasional exploding eyeballs, but showing new facets from new perspectives to keep the same stories we keep telling each other fresh and engaging to more people.

And that leads me to wonder, what would these characters look like now? How would we react to them? How would they change the narrative if they were written today? And do people even know who Dick Tracy is anymore?

Is this Dick Tracy?

Bottom-line:

If you like gore, it’s drudgery to get through the first part. If you like character development, there isn’t much of any. If you like late-80’s to early-90’s nostalgia…I’d still advise against it. It’s not great and aged even worse.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason. Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.

Book Reviews

Barrowbeck: The History of a Cursed Valley

“All this would be theirs, he said. The gods wanted nothing in return. Only that the marsh-folk – or the valley-folk now – should always remember that they were custodians here.
No.
Servants.”

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After the acclaimed Starve Acre and its film adaptation, Andrew Michael Hurley extends his exploration of place with Barrowbeck, a collection of short stories published in October 2024. This new folk horror work charts the unsettling history of a town nestled in a secluded Yorkshire-Lancashire valley. From the first footsteps on its soil to a disquieting glimpse into 2041, Barrowbeck’s 13 tales trace a chilling narrative of time and place, where the past and future intertwine with eerie consequences.

Barrowbeck
  • For centuries, the inhabitants of Barrowbeck, a remote valley on the Yorkshire-Lancashire border, have lived uneasily with forces beyond their reckoning
  • They raise their families, work the land, and do their best to welcome those who come seeking respite
  • But there is a darkness that runs through the village as persistently as the river

Last update on 2025-02-17 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

The Plot.

The initial, undated story, “First Footing,” sets the stage: a band of survivors, their village destroyed, seek sanctuary guided by their deity, Arfon, along a mysterious river. They eventually discover an untouched valley, destined to become Barrowbeck. Following this are twelve time-stamped tales that chronicle the valley’s unsettling evolution. From the haunting melodies of spectral choirs to the bizarre creation of seed-born babies and a girl possessed by the river’s essence, these stories reveal a place steeped in the strange and uncanny.

Highlights.

Hurley’s signature strength lies in crafting folk horror deeply rooted in place, and Barrowbeck is no exception. The opening chapter’s immersive descriptions of the woods and river establish a rich foundation. This is then meticulously layered upon in each subsequent story. As Barrowbeck evolves, we are drawn into its very fabric, witnessing the gradual emergence of road names, family homesteads, and sacred spaces. The setting itself seems to breathe and expand, mirroring the town’s growth with palpable presence.

Hurley’s skill extends beyond the setting, encompassing the intricate development of Barrowbeck’s people. The collection demonstrates a striking commitment to familial continuity, inviting readers to trace the subtle genealogies woven through recurring names. This depth of world-building adds a compelling layer of realism to the fantastical tales.

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Starve Acre: A Novel
  • An atmospheric and unsettling story of the depths of grief found in an ancient farm in northern England—now a major motion picture starring Matt Smith and Morfydd Clark
  • The worst thing possible has happened
  • Richard and Juliette Willoughby’s son, Ewan, has died suddenly at the age of five

Last update on 2025-02-17 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

Drawbacks.

Though billed as folk horror, Barrowbeck leans more towards the fantastical, presenting strange occurrences rather than outright scares. Hurley’s commendable effort to adapt his writing style to each time period creates a strong sense of place. However, this approach backfires in the early chapters, notably the first, which echoes the dense prose of Tolkien’s The Silmarillion. This stylistic choice risks alienating readers seeking a horror experience, potentially leading to early abandonment.

The Final Take.

I hate to say it but I was disappointed in Barrowbeck. After Starve Acre and The Lonely, I had high expectations of Hurley as a folk horror author, but this missed the mark. That being said some of the later stories were at least interesting if only for their strangeness.

2 out of 5 stars (2 / 5)

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Book Reviews

Hendrix Has Another Masterpiece with Witchcraft For Wayward Girls

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Imagine feeling powerless. Imagine feeling alone and scared. Imagine having everyone blame you for something that isn’t your fault. And then, imagine someone gave you a book that could give you your power back.

That is the story told in Witchcraft For Wayward Girls.

As a warning, this book deals with heavy issues like child SA, teenage pregnancy and forced adoptions. My review will, by necessity, touch lightly on those topics.

The story

Released in January, Witchcraft For Wayward Girls is the story of a girl named Fern. At fifteen, she’s pregnant and unmarried. Her father takes her to a Home for girls in her situation. The plan is simple. She’s to have her baby, give it up for adoption, then go home and move on with her life.

But that’s not how things work out.

When visiting a mobile library, Fern is given a book of witchcraft. She and her friends try one of the spells, and it works. Soon they find themselves doing amazing things like flying in the air and seeking revenge on those who abused them. But magic has a price. And it’s a high one.

What worked

Witchcraft For Wayward Girls was infuriating in the best way possible. From the first few pages, you can feel your blood boiling at the injustice of the situation. It starts with Fern’s father, abandoning her at the Home and just gets worse from there. It’s impossible not to be angry at him, at the boy who impregnated Fern, at the doctors. Pretty much everyone who’s not one of the pregnant girls is unfair and horrible at least some of the time.

It’s astounding how much one can desire vengeance against a person who technically doesn’t exist.

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Witchcraft for Wayward Girls
  • “Superb
  • a perfect horror for our imperfect age
  • ” – The New York TimesAN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND USA TODAY BESTSELLERThere’s power in a book…They call them wayward girls

Last update on 2025-02-17 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

I also appreciated the depth of detail in the story. This is something that can be said about all Hendrix books. Witchcraft For Wayward Girls is set in Florida in the summer. And you can feel the sticky, damp heat on every page. You can feel what it must be like to be pregnant in that heat without air conditioning, swimming pools or salt. Even reading this book in chilly Western PA during January, I felt the heat and smelled the wet air.

The best thing about Witchcraft For Wayward Girls, though, is its honesty. This book deals with some hard topics. Well, one hard topic. Teenage pregnancy happens for a lot of reasons. None of them are pleasant to think about. Some are worse than others. And yes, at least one girl in this book is pregnant because she was being abused.

But even the girls who got pregnant through voluntary activities are mistreated in a very realistic way. In each situation, the girls are expected to upend their entire lives. They’re miles from home and treated like they’re the only ones responsible for their current situation. They are treated like foolish children who have truly messed up, while at the same time expecting them to shoulder the burden of women while letting the boys who impregnated them continue to be boys. It’s sick, and it’s all too real.

And it’s exactly this sort of powerlessness that makes witchcraft so appealing. There is a reason why witchcraft tends to be practiced by women and men who are not straight white men. We tend to be women, queer and people of color. We tend to come from poverty. We find ourselves in a world where we have little to no power over our own lives, so we make it for ourselves. Witchcraft For Wayward Girls understands this. And it is that understanding that will make this story so enduring.

Witchcraft For Wayward Girls is another in a long list of fantastic horror from Hendrix. It’s eloquent, inspiring and passionate. If it’s the first book you read by Hendrix I can almost guarantee it won’t be the last.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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Book Reviews

My Best Friend’s Exorcism: Experience the 80’s, demons and all.

“By the power of Phil Collins, I rebuke you!”

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Yeh, okay. I did the thing everyone tells you not to do.

I WATCHED THE MOVIE FIRST!

And I have regrets. But in my defense, when I impulse-watched My Best Friend’s Exorcism, I didn’t realize it was based on a book by the great Grady Hendrix. If you haven’t seen the film I would recommend reading Zeth’s review of it here.

But I am here to talk about the book.

My Best Friend’s Exorcism: A Novel
  • Hendrix, Grady (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)

Last update on 2025-02-10 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

Plot.

My Best Friend’s Exorcism, published in 2016, is a campy 80’s nostalgia-driven take on the possession horror genre. In the opening chapters, we meet fourth-grader Abby. She loves ET: The Extra-Terrestrial, roller-skating and, it seems, any song in the top 10 charts. When the new weird kid, Gretchen, shows up to Abby’s roller-skating party, the two bond and so begins a life-long friendship.

Fast forward to high school in the year 1988. Abby and Gretchen, along with the other half of their girl group, Margaret and Glee, decide to try LSD. Not entirely sure if the stuff is working or if they’re just high on the moment, Gretchen takes off at a run, deciding to skinny dip in the inlet behind Margaret’s house. The girls run after her but when they get to the dock, Gretchen is gone. The frantic search through the woods yields nothing, and Gretchen’s reappearance marks a chilling transformation. As Gretchen’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic and disturbing, Abby suspects something far more sinister than teenage rebellion. Over the course of a terrifying year, Abby must confront the possibility that her best friend is possessed, testing the limits of their friendship and forcing her to face unimaginable horrors to save Gretchen’s soul.

Highlights.

I’m an 80’s baby and this book was like a walk through my childhood. From the landline telephones to the overly zealous hair sprayed hair. A particular highlight for me was the frequent mention of bands, songs, and lyrics. This book triggered nostalgia for me in a big way. I admit that Phil Collins has been in rotation on my playlist since I finished the opening chapter.

Another aspect of My Best Friend’s Exorcism that needs to be noted is the way Hendrix has given his own spin on the ending. The typical possession horror usually ends with the exorcist making a breakthrough with his beliefs and casting out the demon, spirit, or devil (depending on what you’re reading/ watching) This story though does something different and I won’t reveal how because spoilers, but it was a really uplifting and hopeful way to end a book without getting all spiritual.

Drawbacks.

In order to maintain authenticity to the setting and time period, Hendrix has included the not-so-nice aspects of the 80’s. So, there are some racial slurs, and homophobic and non-inclusive language in My Best Friend’s Exorcism. I know this was part of the era and I get why he’s included this, but it didn’t sit well with me. But perhaps that was the point, to remind people that the 80’s was not all neon spandex and high pony tales.

My Best Friend’s Exorcism
  • Amazon Prime Video (Video on Demand)
  • Elsie Fisher, Amiah Miller, Rachel Ogechi Kanu (Actors)
  • Damon Thomas (Director) – Jenna Lamia (Writer) – Lindsay Williams (Producer)

Last update on 2025-02-10 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

The Final Take.

I know you’ve heard it before, the book is better than the movie. This statement has become a bit of a cliche but in the case of My Best Friend’s Exorcism, there has never been a truer statement spoken. This book was a joy to read, it was a camp, body horror, demonic rollercoaster. But at its core, it is the story of two girls whose friendship withstands the devil.

4.5 out of 5 stars (4.5 / 5)

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