Dark Thoughts: Sweet Tea and the Skunk Ape
My name is Ted Neatherwood and I live in a darker world. The strange, the unseen, and the bizarre are everywhere here and weigh heavily on my mind. Join me and my. . .
Dark thoughts.
Not Like The Other Boys
The Southern United States is a unique place. It’s being dragged into the 21st Century kicking and screaming with a population rooted in the old ways. It’s not hard to see why. There are places here where a thin line separates civilization from the unknown and it’s often the width of a barbed-wire fence. Stories from the first peoples still echo down the centuries and people avoid some places because they’ve always been avoided. Occasionally a person will see the reason why. The South has its own Bigfoot. We call him the Skunk Ape.
What’s in a Name
The name alone says something about the type of encounters we have. In the Pacific Northwest, Bigfoot is known for leaving mysterious footprints in the soft soil and vanishing without a trace. Here, he gets so close you can smell him. It’s not a pleasant smell. Something like rotting garbage. He’s also more violent than his northern cousin. Campsites destroyed, animals torn apart, and sometimes even the campers themselves grabbed and slung around like a rag doll. When you meet a Skunk Ape, you know it.
While the idea of physical attack is terrifying, it’s not typical. What is typical is the taunting.
Bully of the Woods
Imagine for a moment you’re in the woods, not far from a stream. It’s night. You’ve been out checking your trail cameras. You’ve been finding animal parts but no sign of the culprit. You hear the crickets and the normal sounds of the night. Between one step and the next, all falls silent. That’s when the first pebble hits you. It bounces off the side of your head. You look around in confusion. The second hits you, again, the side of your head. Maybe some of the local kids are out having a laugh.
“Who’s out there?” you shout angrily.
Then the rocks start coming from all sides. Some larger than pebbles. All coming for your head and chest. You cover your head and duck down trying to protect yourself.
“STOP IT!”
The rocks stop. Then you hear a loud chirping whistle. Something positively inhuman. Then the sound of something, SEVERAL somethings, in fact, moving through the woods. Large somethings moving slowly and deliberately back into the unknown blackness of untouched nature. You know it wasn’t the kids from town. No one else does though. And no one’s going to believe you.
Further Reading: Skunkape.info
Join us each week for more of Ted’s dark thoughts about the mysterious and strange, exclusively here at Haunted MTL.
-Mountains-
A serene mountain landscape yawns; monumental evergreen trees fingering a brilliant azure sky stroked with wispy clouds. The air is crisper and fresher here, wafting its piney fragrance along the meandering deer path that bends and swerves down the gradual slope…
-Reset-
-City-
A bustling urban environment beckons, its diverse, brightly-clothed denizens laughing with one another, casually parting as you stroll through their midst. Sunlight dances through the crowd, reflecting off of towering buildings, cars, and bicycles. Sounds swell together as though breathing life into all interconnected within this rich tapestry of time and space. The street is a cacophony of alluring smells, and the savory scent of kosher all-beef hot dogs…
-Vegetarian-
Fragrant cumin zing of vegetable samosas…
-European-
Perfume of freshly baked baguettes embraces you in a warm hug as you sit at a small metal café table, savoring an espresso…
-Caffeine Free-
Lavender cremosa…
-Non-Carbonated-
Limonade…
-Reset-
-Beach-
The warm sand squishes between your bare toes as the soft ocean waves lap at your feet, beckoning you to wade further into the cool water…
-No Swimming-
The woven rope hammock stretched between two perfectly-spaced palm trees sways slowly as you lounge in its cradle, sipping a Mai Tai…
-Non-Alcoholic-
Iced lemonade in a highball glass through a red plastic straw…
-Eco-Conscientious-
Paper straw, the citrusy elixir providing respite from the steamy…
-Less Hot-
Warm breezy summer…
-Spring-
Spring air, children…
-Nature-
Birds…
-Silence-
You close your eyes, hammock gently rocking you to slumber.
We here at My Universe wish to thank you again for choosing our services. We know that there are many post-cataclysmic alternative realities available, and we appreciate your business. Please enjoy your respite from the societal collapse, and remember us next time you need to unwind.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. And if you really feel like getting away and helping clean up the beach a bit, check out this relaxing video from Dylan Clark titled Seagrass. Or maybe that wasn’t so relaxing after all… 😉
Somehow I came across an older Midnight Panther comic book, Feudal Fantasy #2 from the late 1990s to be precise, and I thought I’d reappropriate it into a new story as a collage. Anyway, this is what evolved. Honestly there wasn’t a lot of content to work with, but that isn’t surprising seeing as how that wasn’t really the point of the original… And sorry, I saved the erotic bits for another project, though even that was pretty tame in this one – just a bunch of boobies.
Images: Black and white line drawings of wide-eyed anime women and men in various states of undress, looking cute, being coyly pensive, and hack ‘n slashing.
Text reads: I like… men who are dying. We ought to just kill everyone involved. The scent of blood!! I never see his face, he always wears a mask. What a waste of time. I don’t like this. The horny bastard. What a pig!! -Slash- Sounds like it could be fun.
Images: More black and white line drawings of wide-eyed anime women and men kissing and hack ‘n slashing.
Text reads: Mercenaries of glorious Edo, if you can make the flowers that bloom along the rivers during spring drop their petals, then do so. I’m the Ferryman of the River Styx. Whssh.
OK, OK – here are some boobies since you stuck with this so long. And here’s a link to some more of my comic book collages, in case you are interested.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
Black Friday.
You can’t beat the deals. So many of us. Waiting. Readying. Checking the time. Counting down the seconds. You better believe I earned my place at the start of the line. I’ve been camping out here since late Wednesday. Yeah, yeah, the holiday was yesterday. Whatever, I had my family’s full endorsement.
Because that new high-definition television beckons. The best in zoning out technology. All channel access. Cutting edge entertainment. Bleeding edge. That blade is sharp, baby. Like a razor.
But this kind of escapism is costly. A reality check says it’s not in my family’s budget. We don’t make that kind of money, and so here I am. Among all the others vying for the same prize.
Only one will get there first. Only one available. Must have TV. Must have T.V. Must. Have. T. V.
An employee approaches the door. Nobody noteworthy. A soon-to-be-casualty. No more. No less.
We rise and lurch into place. Ready…
On your mark.
Get set.
Go!
Original images generated with Nightcafe AI art generator.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. Or if you just want more zombies, might I recommend either Elvis or the Fashionistas?
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