Happy American Thanksgiving from Jennifer Weigel
Ryan sat at the table. He could eat no more. He’d already had more than his fill of turkey and mashed potatoes and green bean casserole and sweet potatoes and bread and pie and so on. The food was settling and he was getting drowsy. He began to drift off in his seat.
“Eat!” the alien creature shrieked, breaking his reverie. The tentacled turkey thrust its laser tipped trident in Ryan’s face in a threatening gesture.
“EAT!” the Lovecraftian bird repeated.
Ryan moaned and picked up another roll, slowly nibbling at it. Apparently he wasn’t swift enough or fully invested in the outcome so the alien turkey creature zapped him with the trident. The pulsing electric shock stung like hell and jolted him to attention. He perked up to a rigid posture and downed the roll, moaning.
Ryan took in his surroundings again. He had briefly forgotten he wasn’t at his grandmother’s house at her huge dining table, full of holiday cheer and longstanding family drama. He wondered how the family was faring. Hopefully they hadn’t been abducted and were celebrating like normal, oblivious to the turkey aliens that had descended upon the unsuspecting planet and were kidnapping people en route to family festivities. He never should have made that wrong turn at the river…
A second alien turkey creature was in the other wing of the spacecraft, looking up some recipe for stuffed human or the like in some ancient tome of true gobbledygook. A huge and ominous oven sat waiting.
Consider past alien abductions on Haunted MTL here. Also, you can make fun hand turkeys like in this pointers video from Good Housekeeping. I especially like the googly eyes. Just be sure to substitute tentacles for “feathers” and you’re all set. 😉
Somehow I came across an older Midnight Panther comic book, Feudal Fantasy #2 from the late 1990s to be precise, and I thought I’d reappropriate it into a new story as a collage. Anyway, this is what evolved. Honestly there wasn’t a lot of content to work with, but that isn’t surprising seeing as how that wasn’t really the point of the original… And sorry, I saved the erotic bits for another project, though even that was pretty tame in this one – just a bunch of boobies.
Images: Black and white line drawings of wide-eyed anime women and men in various states of undress, looking cute, being coyly pensive, and hack ‘n slashing.
Text reads: I like… men who are dying. We ought to just kill everyone involved. The scent of blood!! I never see his face, he always wears a mask. What a waste of time. I don’t like this. The horny bastard. What a pig!! -Slash- Sounds like it could be fun.
Images: More black and white line drawings of wide-eyed anime women and men kissing and hack ‘n slashing.
Text reads: Mercenaries of glorious Edo, if you can make the flowers that bloom along the rivers during spring drop their petals, then do so. I’m the Ferryman of the River Styx. Whssh.
OK, OK – here are some boobies since you stuck with this so long. And here’s a link to some more of my comic book collages, in case you are interested.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website.
Black Friday.
You can’t beat the deals. So many of us. Waiting. Readying. Checking the time. Counting down the seconds. You better believe I earned my place at the start of the line. I’ve been camping out here since late Wednesday. Yeah, yeah, the holiday was yesterday. Whatever, I had my family’s full endorsement.
Because that new high-definition television beckons. The best in zoning out technology. All channel access. Cutting edge entertainment. Bleeding edge. That blade is sharp, baby. Like a razor.
But this kind of escapism is costly. A reality check says it’s not in my family’s budget. We don’t make that kind of money, and so here I am. Among all the others vying for the same prize.
Only one will get there first. Only one available. Must have TV. Must have T.V. Must. Have. T. V.
An employee approaches the door. Nobody noteworthy. A soon-to-be-casualty. No more. No less.
We rise and lurch into place. Ready…
On your mark.
Get set.
Go!
Original images generated with Nightcafe AI art generator.
And feel free to check out more of Jennifer Weigel’s work here on Haunted MTL or here on her website. Or if you just want more zombies, might I recommend either Elvis or the Fashionistas?
This time on Nightmarish Nature, in honor of Thanksgiving, we’re exploring scads of scat! And not just because of the aftermath of all that eating we’re going to be doing, given that everything that goes in must come out eventually. But because turkeys are weird.
But, how weird?
Apparently, the shape and size of a turkey’s poop can tell you the sex and age of the bird. Male and female birds poop different shaped turds, and bigger ones with age. Your poop can’t do that, we’re pretty sure. And no, we don’t want to check, even if it does come in a whole host of rainbow colors with all the dyes in our food nowadays. Keep your weird quirks to yourself.
Fecal Fetishes
Vultures have very acidic scat that helps to keep their feet and food clean of bacteria from hopping in and around dead things. Somehow, this doesn’t seem like a step up to us, but I guess if you’re a carrion crawler you take what you can get. At least you’d know where it’s been I suppose, and that’s more than you can say for some of your long dead food sources…
Rabbits must process their food twice in order to break down the grassy matter they digest (like cows chewing cud). And so they eat their own partially digested matter, the cecotropes they produce after the first digestion. This isn’t true poop per se, that fecal matter comes after second digestion, but it does work its way through the same way.
And that brings us to koalas. They are one of only a few mammals that can eat eucalyptus leaves (and are closely related to wombats, one of the other two). Koala offspring eat their mother’s pap, which is a specialized form of poop that allows the baby to transition from nursing milk to eating solid leaves. It is green, smeary, mushy, and can get everywhere. Just like you’d expect.
We aren’t exempt.
For all that we have learned to be poop averse, a lot of animals eat others’ scat and glean a lot of nutritional value from their detritus. It’s not just your dog raiding the cat litter box and then licking you in the face. And we humans have even fought wars over rights to seabird guano, which was used as a form of fertilizer in the late 1800s.
Anyway, that’s the scoop on poop for now. Maybe we’ll revisit this load later on, seeing as how there’s still plenty of content here.
If you’ve enjoyed this segment of Nightmarish Nature, feel free to check out some previous here:
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Original Creations4 days agoBonus Black Friday story: Zombie Apocalypse by Jennifer Weigel
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Book Reviews6 days ago
We Kept Her in the Cellar: a Lovecraftian Cinderella retelling.
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Book Reviews4 days ago
Lucy Undying is the Lesbian Dracula Retelling We Needed
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Original Creations2 days ago
The Scent of Blood: Comic Book Art by Jennifer Weigel
