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“Nigh” by Berni E. Carrol

You’ll die in the ocean,’ the fortune cookie reads and as the table laughs while sharing their

own, my breath catches at the stab in my breastbone.

I can’t believe what I’m reading.

You’ll die in the ocean. Lucky numbers 5 12 13.’

“Jackie?” Allyson asks, bumping into me playfully in the booth, “What’s yours say?”

The whole table stops talking to look at me, all seven faces towards me. Maybe looking through

me. Panic rises as I can feel them stare, pushes up hand-in-hand with vomit. I jump up and try

to hurry, but not too fast, to the bathroom. Enough people are watching me. I don’t need to

cause a scene.

I don’t quite make it. I squeeze my lips shut as some Lo Mein noodles and tea squirt onto my

shoes before I can erupt everything into the toilet. A hot mess, all around the bowl. All in the

bowl. A noodle caught in my throat as I keep heaving and squeeze my eyes shut so hard, I see

stars.

Coughing and spitting, I’m mortified when I hear the door open.

“Hey, babe?” Allyson asks sweetly and I wince away from it, “Are you okay?”

“Was it the cooking?” Fatima cuts in.

“Oh my God, Fatima. It’s not the fucking food,” Allyson sighs, “I’ve been coming here for years.

You were bitching through the whole thing. What’s your damage?”

The tension between them kicks up the bile again and I dry-heave.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry,” Allyson coos outside the stall door and it makes me want to cry, “You

want some water, honey?”

“Gross. On the toilet?”

“For real? You’re not helping —”

“I’m okay,” I croak out desperately to find some kind of silence between them.

“Do you want me to drive you home, hun?” Allyson offers, but I can hear the disappointment.

We had all been having a good day, maybe a great day, just hanging out. This is what being a

teenager was supposed to be about. Allyson had planned it all out. Arcade, shopping, eating,

and now the drive to the abandoned Dismount Point to party for the night. This was my first and

only experience as being a “real” teenager and I went with purpose.

“No!” I sputter, suddenly afraid that my plans and hopes will be unrealized because of a dumb

cookie, a stupid prank at the fortune factory. “No, ugh, I’m okay now. I think Fatima’s right.

Um, sorry. But it’s okay. Just give me a second.”

“Oh,” I hear Allyson say and Fatima scoff. “I’m sorry, Jackie, I swear I never had a bad

experience here.”

“It’s okay,” I hear myself say, again and again.

***

Like I said, there’s eight of us — Todd, Adam, Chad, Fatima, Allyson, myself, and two that I

always kind of forget about, Kaven and Travis? Trevor? They’re both ordinary enough to blend

in the chaos. But here we are, scattered over each other in Todd’s mom’s SUV, like a clown car,

heading towards Dismount Point. It’s two days before school starts again. Senior year for them

and Sophomore year for me.

I’ve known Allyson since I was eleven and she would say that we’re friends — really good

friends. She, being easily confident and beautiful, would see it as simple.

But I would say it’s complicated.

When I was a “boy,” I thought I was in love with her. Now that I’m a girl (in most ways), I’m not

so sure. My love is tainted by envy. My adoration is murky with sexuality and resentment. As

much as I love her, I can’t help but wonder if I want her or want to be her — inside that beautiful,

tan and curvy body. Lips that never smear her lipstick. Golden brown hair, thick and soft, that’s

wispy when up and uniform when down. Her eyes are green above her strong cheekbones and

smart, sharp chin.

Even as a girl, I am utterly nothing like her. I am still desperately waiting for the HRT to smooth

my brick-like body, to soften its coarseness, and thicken my drab wet-school-paper-towel-type

hair. It’s been four months and nothing. My doctor says to be patient, but I feel immune to it. I

feel like my body is rejecting it. I feel like a caterpillar that has been lied to with internet photos

of filter-covered butterflies. I am an ugly fucking duckling, no matter what I do.

I had wanted, had dreamed, of entering school looking like a girl, like the girl I imagine myself

as. I had dreamed of this for years, and now, two days away, I look like a monster, a freak.

Same crusty, zit-covered Gary, just with bigger tits and thicker arm hair that refuses to be waxed

or shaved without breaking out in rashes. Sweaty, smelly Gary that tried wearing a skirt for the

first time at school last year and literally pissed himself in embarrassment at lunch. Gary that

was called a “faggot” under the custodian’s breath as he mopped up the piss.

My stomach twists again, and I take a breath, and think about the waves of the ocean. I feel like

I’m floating there. My ugly fucking body floating and disintegrating in the salty moonlight.

In the car, I am with seven people who’ve taken pity on me at Allyson’s discreet insistence.

These are not my friends. I am just here, trying not to touch or be touched. Trying not to sweat

through the flowered dress that my mom bought me while I stayed at home. I pretend that I’m

origami, folding tightly in on myself.

“You okay?” Chad asks next to me.

“Yeah,” I lie, “I’m cool.”

***

It’s about 10 P.M. when we’re able to find a break in the fence and haul ourselves and the

coolers into the park. The sun is already down and gone, and the moonlight makes the sand

look like frosting.

As we reach near the water, I’m mesmerized for a few moments. It’s like watching silver scales

undulating across the horizon. The whole ocean like a giant creature weaving back and forth in

a hypnotic pull of witchcraft and hunger. The thick aroma of sand and salt, far-off fires and dead

ashes, greets me solemnly. My heart is drunk on years of spent adrenaline. The waves soothe

my mind, reaching each bony finger across the sand to beckon my anxiety.

In the distance is the shape of the lighthouse museum that our elementary used to go to every

class trip. But here, this part with its tufts of grass and driftwood, has been off-limits since the

late 90’s when people started disappearing or drowning. Rumor is that it’s cursed, but legally, it

just lost funding and no one has developed on it yet.

Not that it stops teenagers like us…

“Let’s build a fire here,” Fatima announces.

Travis/Trevor protests, but is out-numbered. I shrug my vote. We all collect driftwood and dead

grass, separating wordlessly.

Once the fire starts, so does the curious contemplation of bored and horny teenagers.

“Let’s play ‘Never Have I Ever’,” Chad says, flicking more grass into the slowly burning flames.

“No, no, no,” Adam interrupts, “We don’t have enough beer.”

“Let’s go classic,” Allyson smiles and spots me in the circle to raise her eyebrows. “How about

‘Truth or Dare’?”

I don’t know what she meant by the gesture, but it’s okay. I’m okay. Even when everyone

agrees, I’m okay. Even though I’ve never played this game before, I’m okay.

The game starts the way you’d expect — tame but flirtatious. I’m not called on for a while, which

I’m fine with. I hear about first crushes. I hear about small secrets: cheating, shoplifting, and

stealing money from their parents. I see the small dares of boys taking off their shirts and

Allyson throwing sand in her bra.

When I am called on by Adam, by pity I guess, he asks an easy Truth: who do I love more — my

mother or father? Mother. She at least buys me dresses and purses. She lets me watch makeup

tutorials on YouTube. She takes me to see Dr. Nguyen and Dr. Cook. She doesn’t understand

it, but she tries.

My dad, living in Toledo with his “mid-life wife,” hasn’t even called me back yet. I wrote him a

letter at the beginning of summer. I told him my name. I told him my feelings. Dr. Nguyen

coached me, called me brave, although I didn’t feel it. But Dad didn’t say anything and that

said enough…

I don’t mention all that to the group, though.

After a few more rounds it gets more…sexual, more prying. Chad admits to watching grandma

porn on occasion. Adam talks about his uncle with a heroin addiction stealing money from his

piggy bank when he was a kid and putting a knife to his throat. Kavin is dared to show his dick

for a second. Fatima asks Allyson about her first time and I hear about Brandon Teramin from

summer camp. My stomach twists again and the ocean is so loud and sharp in my ears. The

moonlight seems to dim.

It goes around and around me until finally Chad asks me, “So, are you, like…going to get the

whole thing? Like the surgery?”

“Oh my God,” Allyson interrupts, “you can’t just ask that!”

For a moment, I’m relieved. The faces are away from me, at Allyson, as she rescues me. But

then, somewhere deep, something crawls inside me, right to my pounding heart. It’s a feeling

I’ve denied myself often. I feel pissed off. Watching her speak for me, it pisses me off.

“Why not?” I ask suddenly, shocking both of them. “Why can’t he? Isn’t that the game? He can

ask anything and I’m supposed to answer? Why am I not allowed to play, Allyson?”

All seven have turned to me again, but in this quiver of fear and anger, I don’t care.

“Gary —,” she slips, “Jackie, I didn’t mean it —”

“I don’t know,” I tell Chad honestly, “Maybe. I want to, but…”

I leave it at that. I’m still burning in anger, in frustration.

We’re all silent until Fatima says, gently, to me, “It’s your turn.”

I forgot.

“Allyson,” I pick and she quietly responds, “Truth.”

“What did it feel like when you were fucked?”

Her perfect sea-glass eyes widen. “Excuse me?”

“What did it feel like,” I repeat, “when you were fucked?”

The years of resentment bubble up in those words. I was always Allyson’s friend: watching from

the corners, listening to her stories, living through her and wanting to be with her. These people

are not my tribe but hers. This place is not my place but hers. This world, this future, is not mine.

Was never mine and could never be mine.

I was so fucking stupid to think it was love. I was so stupid to think I should love her. I can’t

compare. There’s no comparison and I hate it. I hate her for how she makes me feel about

myself.

“Answer the question.”

Incredulous, she shakes her head, “What’s your damage, Gary?”

“Jackie,” I correct her sharply.

“What’s this about?” She counters, more agitated, “What the fuck?”

“I want to know,” I tell her, matter-of-factly, “how it felt when you got dicked.”

Shaking her head, dumb-struck, she leans back and all seven pairs of eyes are finally on her for

once. It feels so powerful. It feels like vindication and heart-break.

“I don’t know why you’re doing this…but it hurt, okay? It hurt. Okay?”

But my sick, greedy heart wants more. I want to imagine it. “Like, the whole time?”

“Dude,” Travis/Trevor says to diffuse the situation, but I snap, “I’m not your ‘dude’.”

“Yes,” Allyson breathes out, “Yeah, okay? The whole time.”

“What’s it to you?” Fatima asks and I deftly answer, “Wait your turn to find out.”

After that, you’d think that the game would have ended, but my question only fueled it. Thus

began a more ruthless, a more desperate game, as we drank everything we brought and cut

into our darkest questions. These bland shadows that I have spent most of my summer with,

that I barely knew, I quickly discovered their fears and fantasies in a few short hours.

I was dared to grope them, to be touched, to show my misshapen tits in comparison to the

other girls’, and to marvel at their own secret malformations. I watched as girls kissed each

other and boys kissed each other. Tears were shed and they became human to me. It was

magical. It was exhilarating. It was terrifying. I felt like I had been robbed, utterly robbed, if this

was what being a teenager was supposed to be. It stuck in my throat like a long Lo Mein noodle.

I have been robbed of being human.

Around midnight was when Allyson asked me if I was in love with her and when I answered

honestly that I don’t know. All I know is that she’s perfect. And she laughed like music when I

said that.

It’s around 2 A.M. when Adam pulls Fatima closer to him and she doesn’t seem to mind, and

they kiss for the first time. In our own quiet space, Allyson sits next to me and we watch the

waves. She asks what my fortune was, and I reach into my purse and dig it from the bottom.

Without hesitation I hand it to her. To my surprise, she laughs.

“That’s pretty fucking morbid.”

I don’t laugh and she notices. Like at the restaurant, she bumps against me a little. “So…what’s

up, buttercup?”

It stings before I even can say it. “I, uh…wasn’t expecting to go back home tonight.”

“Oh?” She asks, but doesn’t get it.

“Uh, yeah, or…like, ever. I, um, don’t want to start school. It’s like…really peaceful here. I

remember coming here with my parents, like, you know, before it closed…and…it’s just really

peaceful, you know…? Like, maybe I might stay here.”

“Oh,” she breathes out. She gets it.

Resting her head on my shoulder, we stay like that for a while and I’m surprised I’m not bawling

my eyes out. Instead, the chatter of the dying fire and hushing waves carve out my sadness and

her warmth seeps into my skin. The water, its massive dark body, now glitters like a gem being

cut, but its bone-white fingers still claw at the beach towards me.

After a few minutes, I can feel vibrations and I realize that she’s singing, low and sweet, the

song ‘Jackie Blue’ and my heart melts. That’s when I know that I’m 100% in love with her.

I want to be her, I want to be with her, and I want her to love me. I want everything. Everything

that I can’t have.

“Hey,” she says a while later, when everyone is asleep, “I want to show you something. Come

with me?”

I follow her down the beach, stumbling on the sand and gristle of weeds along the way, heels in

my hand. She’s faster than me, but keeps looking back, laughing breathlessly to wait for a

second for me. I keep calling out to her, trying to catch up, and she just laughs and lets the

moon color all of her curves with its sugary gleam.

When she reaches the water, she jumps to face me. Coughing, I reach her, “What —? What the

heck?”

Again, that music lights me on fire as she laughs and takes a deep breath from the mouth of the

ocean.

“Do you really think I’m perfect?” She asks with a wild smile.

“Well,” I mumble and feel again like a rough brick on the beach, sinking into the erosion of the

waves.

“It’s funny that you think that,” Allyson says, stepping closer to me, “Only certain people can see

it. Weird, huh?”

She falters a moment, maybe a flash of hesitation, before she brushes her fingers against my

face. I flush. I can only hear my heart and the ocean. I can still see the green of her eyes in the

darkness, floating in her beautiful face and soaking me clean.

“Did you know that I used to come here, too? I mean, when it was still open? I guess we all did.

My step-mom did before she left my dad. Late at night, like this, when I was around ten, I guess.

She said that she had something to show me and I think I just thought that it was a game or

something. Like a bonding moment or something.

“I didn’t see her as perfect. Some people did, though. It was right before she left. Do you remember her?”

Vaguely. I really wasn’t sure if Allyson was drunk still, or about to tell me something bad, like

really bad. “I guess…?”

“Well, she showed me something that night. Something really powerful. And I guess what I’m saying is that there are a few kinds of people I can be around and few that I can’t…Jackie. I…didn’t know that you thought that. I thought that we were…friends, I guess.”

Her hand is still there, but I feel my heart being deli-sliced as she talks. I try not to cry because I

can feel it gear up. This is going to be rejection. And now I’ll have to die knowing that the one

person that I loved didn’t love me back.

I hate this.

As soon as the tears come, she cups my face, but I don’t want her to see it. I try to back away,

but she doesn’t let me.

“It’s not you, Jackie,” she says quietly and my heart is bleeding out, I can feel it bleeding all over

my lungs and I can barely breathe, “Jackie, listen. Listen. I’m sorry. But I don’t think either of us

are who we thought each other was. I’m sorry. I am. I do love you, okay?”

I hide my face from her with my shaking hands.

“Listen, listen. Hey, listen. We both can get what we want, what we need, though, okay? Just for

tonight. Just right now, okay?”

Her hands are suddenly gone and I’m cold in the August heat. Through tears, I see her take a

step back and wistfully smile. Carefully, she reaches down to her top’s edge and slowly pulls it

over her head. I watch, unsure what the hell is going on and what I should do.

Placing her hands on her body, she trails down and pushes down her short shorts. Just in a bra

and black underwear. I am still flummoxed – pained and shocked and aroused. The wistful smile

curls more shyly and she unlatched her bra and I’m suddenly staring at her naked chest. Tears

stop like a faucet, more out of surprise, as I watch, agape.

Her long fingers again trail down her body and reach her ruffled panties before stopping. She

bites her lip a little, looks vulnerable but set in her decision, “Hey, you gotta catch up again,

huh?”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Allyson nods to my dress, “C’mon, Jackie. For tonight…”

Gob-smacked, my hands move before my brain can process them. Maybe because I’m drunk,

maybe because I can feel the desperation of the moment, I just breathe and allow myself to

grab my dress and pull it over my head. I would have worn a nicer bra, prettier underwear, if I

had known. I would have bought some. But before I can feel too much shame, her panties are

off and she’s completely naked, like a painted goddess, right in front of me.

Slowly, she backs into the rushing water as it laps up her feet and calves. “Hurry up, before I

lose my nerve.”

Pulling off the bra, I wished I had more and better to offer, and I pause at the underwear that’s

not doing any kind of job of hiding my painfully confused erection. She’s slipping away from me,

so I take a deep breath and vow to just live in the moment, no matter what this is, no matter

what it becomes. I suck in that bitter air and follow her in.

Wading out, she pulls me further. The ocean is cold but alive between us. Her hands are on

mine, sometimes drifting further, towards my hips and shoulders. But I can’t touch her yet.

The waves lick up our breasts and collarbones before she grabs me and kisses me. It’s very

unexpected and I gasp into her open mouth. Her tongue melts me from head to toe. I wonder

how this could be happening, how this can be real. It’s pity, I know, but I cling to her like a buoy.

Finally pulling away, I feel dizzy and drunk again. Her smile again is wistful.

“You’ve been a good friend to me,” she murmurs, “Thank you. I wish you knew how wonderful

you were…”

I felt a sting of shame, thinking she means as a “boy” and I’m jealous of him, that facade I left

behind.

She puts her lips against mine again, but it doesn’t really lead into a kiss, but some kind of hold.

Furiously pressing her whole naked body against mine, it’s sharp and tight. I’m about to pull

away, but realize I can’t breathe. Or I can breathe, but it’s saltwater – I realize that we’re

suddenly underwater.

I struggle to pull away, thinking maybe it’s a wave or undertow, but then I realize that she’s

clutching onto me and we’re sinking deeper. I push against her, trying to scream, trying to get

air, but her hands are like concrete against me. We are sinking further down. I thrash against

her, but she doesn’t flinch.

As we drift, I somehow can feel something in the darkness, like an eel crawling into my

stomach, a thought, a feeling, ‘But it’s so peaceful…Just let this happen. Let me hold you a little

longer…Just for tonight. This is what we both want…”

I can feel it wriggling into my chest, against my stretched lungs and beating heart. Slimy skin

inside me, pulsating against the cells of my being. There are little teeth gnawing into the bones

and tissues there, into the vulnerability and fear that I’ve sewn away for so long.

Beneath, with flashes of moonlight, I swear I see her face change. Her mouth opens and elongates, almost like a horse. Her eyes turn black, inky black, as her jaw widens. Flat teeth make way as the jaw unhinges like a snake and I can, in between the silver streaks of pulsating light, make out the cavern of her throat and stomach as she begins to swallow me. And that voice with its little teeth still digging into my heart, “Yesyesyes, Gary, let this happen…

There’s something strange at the cusp of passing out and those sloppy steps towards death — a

will and need to survive.

Suddenly, it’s not about school in two days, or my stupid tits, or brick-like body, or the fortune

cookie and the plan I had before this all happened. It’s primal, it reacts before I can tell it to or

ask it. It is a force alive in me that I never asked for, nor knew.

As the ocean swallows me, I swallow it. I clutch onto the bony fingers of a panicked death

and bend them backwards. I claw at the flesh holding me here, at the thing that entered my

heart and leeched off the sorrow there. I tear at the pity weighing me down with my bare teeth

and taste its flesh like a shark. I scrape and bite and push that mouth apart until I can taste its bitter blood all the way down my throat. I swallow it. I am the one who takes her apart. I am the one who defies it. I am the one who will survive it.

Crawling from the waves, I am still coughing, still shaking, naked here in the sand. The moon

burns into my eyes, freshly cut from the reciprocating waves. I have no energy, no words. Like a

baby, I babble and cry. Crudely wet, I clutch onto and into the Earth. Fresh from the womb, I

gasp for life, again and again, until I fall into a deep, empty sleep.

***

I’m at the police station, still in awe, still silent. They call it shock. We’re waiting for an

ambulance. The sun pours into the detective’s coffee cup after he finishes the coffee there.

“And that was the last time you saw your friend?” Detective Starr asks again.

I nod, shakily. My throat is burning, no matter how much water I drink. I can still taste her blood under the curl of my tongue.

“You just went out for a swim?”

Nodding again, Fatima wraps her arm around me. “Yeah, she told you that.”

“Have you found Allyson yet?” Adam asks.

The Detective leans back and I watch him carefully, afraid he may somehow know, may

somehow be able to look right through me, “No, but…she’ll probably turn up. There’s a reason

why that beach is off limits, you know? It’s real quick to pull you out. Kids like you get drunk out

there and drown all the time…All the time…”

His cold blue eyes focus on me, “You got really lucky, kid. Call it an act of God, huh?”

Slowly, I nod again, and look down at my still-wrinkled hands. “I always thought it was so

peaceful there…”

“No, never been. Even back in the lighthouse days. Sea monsters and shit like that. But no, it

pulls you right into its mouth and doesn’t spit you out…I lost an uncle to it, way back when I

was a kid. He was there one minute and gone the next. Perfect day, too. Not a cloud in the sky.”

“Poor Allyson…” Fatima says quietly.

We hear the sirens of the ambulance pulling in and I nod again.

Poor Allyson.

Honestly, I don’t know what happened. I can only look back with shaky hands, like watching a

play I was part of but didn’t perform. An old story of survival and defiance. And maybe that’s

who I am, and who I always was — the one who is different enough to foil the expectations of

others. Even poor Allyson, whatever the hell happened. Whatever that was.

I don’t even know what my next steps will be, but I think I now have my whole life to figure it out.

“Are you okay?” Fatima asks gently, handing me my purse. Something small flutters out and she picks it up, handing it to me.

I snort softly and tightly fold the fortune in on itself before throwing it in the police station’s trash.

“Yeah,” I honestly answer. “I think so.”

Berni E. Carrol, author.

Berni E. Carrol loves to knit while watching horror because the scarier it is, the faster she knits! She lives with her lovely wife in a lovely old brick home and favorite pick-me-ups are buying stickers and looking for interesting rocks on the beach. 1st place winner of the office door decorating contest every Halloween.

Original Creations

Arctic Horror – A Chilling Tale of Survival and Terror by Nicole L. Duffeck

Published

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Arctic Horror

By Nicole L. Duffeck

“Arliiiii.” The figure before him groaned. “Arliiiii.” Jung Kook could have sworn it was his own voice, echoing back at him, but that was impossible. The wind all but stole your voice before it had a chance of reaching your companion standing mere feet from you.

Jung stopped short, conflicted between being euphoric over finding Arli and confused at this sudden development. “Arli? What’s going on? Are you ok?” Jung asked, his words coming out in a jumbled rush.

“Arliiiii?” The thing before him mimicked the question.

Some primal part of Jung’s brain took over before the conscious part of his mind could make sense of what his body was doing. Before he knew it, he was running for the habitat door. Behind him, he could hear a shuffling as the thing followed him, its breath seeming to rattle in its chest.


Fourteen hours earlier

There’s a certain horror in not knowing what comes next: When you’ll get your next meal, your next breath of fresh air, the next time you’ll feel the sun on your face, the next time you’ll feel someone embrace you. That was the downside to any Arctic expedition: the instant insanity of endless night, of deadly cold, of breaths that turned lungs to ice, the isolation of snow and silence, the strain of ears to catch a sound other than the omnipresent howl of wind and scouring ice.

That night (or was it day? It was impossible to tell when the body and brain were in a perpetual state of darkness) there was a sound, or maybe the memory of a sound. A soft keening, moaning sound that could have been the wind or a wounded animal or any number of things. Whatever the source, it set Jung Kook’s nerves on edge, shredding his sanity in nearly imperceptible increments.

Wondering if he was finally succumbing to the white madness, he poked his head out of the thermal blankets and looked at the digital clock on his bedside table. The red lights displayed that it was nearly seven in the morning; time to get up and perform the morning systems check. There was at least that: the comforting routine of checking the weather measuring instruments, the environmental systems that kept him and the other scientists alive in a climate that was hellbent on killing any living creature that hadn’t evolved to exist there over the course of several millennia. As it was, Jung was the only living human at the Z-037 outpost, the others having left four days prior to beat the storm; the same storm that was preventing the relief team from coming in. Jung had stayed behind to ensure the continual running of the research station and, if he were honest, to hang onto the gossamer-thin hope that Arli was alive somewhere, out there, in one of the outbuildings and had just had to ride out the storm. The logical, scientific part of him knew that wasn’t possible; that Arli had fallen into a glacial crevice or succumbed to the elements after having gotten turned around in one of the many whiteouts that would hit with little to no notice.

More than likely, the sounds he was hearing were a combination of guilt, hope, and despair manifesting in the form of the white madness. Regardless, Jung kicked his feet out of bed, heedless of the thermal blanket he had been wrapped in falling to the floor. The ambient temperature of the habitat was still uncomfortably low since the inhabitants weren’t expected to be out of bed for another fifteen minutes. Resources were scarce out here, making rationing and frugality a matter of life and death.

Jung donned his heaviest sweater, hat, winter outer pants, and opened the door to his quarters. The first thing he noticed was the oppressive silence of the module he had been calling home for the past three months. Having only been alone for four days, he hadn’t grown fully accustomed to there being no other signs of life. Even if all the other personnel were sleeping, there were still the sounds of snoring, breathing, talking in their sleep, or simply absorbing the cacophonous stillness. The suddenness of the Z-037 bringing itself into day mode made Jung jump. The lights came on to their full brightness, the HVAC turned up a few levels bringing it from a low white noise to a full hum and, most importantly, the coffee machine began brewing.

Jung made his way to the kitchen and took a few sips of too-hot coffee before moving on to the brain of the hub. The control room was insulated between four walls of thick steel and kept environmentally stable with its own climate control, powered by its own solar panels and backup generator. Jung took his time checking the instrumental readings, the surveillance footage, and the habitat’s artificial intelligence. Everything was running as it should, but Jung was reluctant to leave the control room; there was something comforting in being in front of screens, even if all they were doing was showing him the vast, white expanse of the snowfields, unbroken only by the UN’s outbuildings, a few snow machines, and an all-terrain utility vehicle.

The silence and unbroken view lulled Jung into a sort of waking torpor, his mind wandering to Arli and the last time they had seen each other. They had been arguing about what Jung couldn’t remember—that’s how trivial it had been. Arli had gone against the weather recommendations and stormed out into the ice fields, stating he needed to check on the penguin population he was there to observe. That was the last Jung, or anyone, had seen of Arli. Shortly after leaving, a massive windstorm blew across the plain; stirring up ice and snow, blinding any creature that was unfortunate enough to be out in it.

A noise pulled Jung from his reverie; a low, faint keening, the same sound that had roused him from his sleep. He scanned the CCTV screens, looking to see what the source of the noise was. At first, there was nothing on the monitors except the vast expanse of the plains. Just as he was about to stand and walk away from the desk, he saw it: A small corner of what looked like blaze orange; the same color of clothing the crew wore for outerwear, the best chance they had of being seen in a whiteout. He could dismiss the sounds as nothing more than the wind or a lost and starving arctic fox but the scrap of cloth – that couldn’t be discounted. Since there was no one else but him and the countless dead explorers who’d come before him at the base, the only rational explanation was that Arli was out there, alive and trying to find his way back to the base.

Jung jumped up from his chair and ran to the antechamber that would lead to the outside. There, he hastily dressed for the tundra, forced the door open, and stepped out into the violent gale.

Strung from the habitat and anchored in place at intervals using lead pipes was a blaze orange cord, now frosted white from snow and ice. For a moment, the rational science brain whispered that he had just seen a flash of the cord and not a sign of Arli struggling to get home to him. Jung pushed the thought away and fought his way forward against the hurricane-force winds.

Above the howl of the wind, Jung heard the keening sound again. Louder, despite the weather. He could just make out a single word, his name, “Jung,” being cried out against the storm. He knew, with the certainty of a man who’d heard the voice a million times, that he was hearing Arli call for him, calling to him for help.

Jung’s lungs and heart nearly burst. Arli was alive! He knew Jung was there, coming to him, coming to find him and bring him back to warmth and safety. Fueled by blind determination, Jung tried to quicken his pace, but the elements persisted in slowing him down; all he was doing was wasting energy and calories, both of which needed to be rationed. He needed to be logical, clinical if he was going to get himself and, more importantly, Arli, back to safety.

Jung forced himself to slow down, to get his bearings and trudge calmly and methodically through the drifts of snow and blinding wind. With one hand, he held fast to the guideline and, with the other, he prodded the ground with his walking stick. Chances were, Arli was using the same cord or, worst-case scenario, he was unconscious in one of the snowbanks. If the first, they would meet somewhere along the line. If the latter, the walking stick would issue the tactile warning that there was an anomaly beneath the waist-high embankments.

The going was slow, and the cold was taking its toll on Jung. His feet and hands were beginning to go numb, and his eyelashes, beard, and mustache were crusted in ice, creating an all too persistent time clock, telling him he couldn’t stay out of the habitat much longer. His heart insisted he go on but the logical part of his mind urged him to be rational; if he succumbed to the elements, both he and Arli would be lost to the Arctic.

As if the universe finally started to care, the decision was made for him in the form of the guideline running out; he’d reached the end of the camp without finding any signs of Arli. It was time to go back and get out of his ice-encrusted gear and warm up. He could check the surveillance cameras for signs of Arli and make a plan to find him and bring him back.

Feeling downtrodden but bolstered by having an actionable plan, Jung found his way back to the habitat, discarded his outerwear, and brewed a cup of coffee before settling down in front of the monitors. There was nothing to see except for the omnipresent white of the landscape; even his footprints were all but swallowed up by the flurry. There was certainly no way of seeing if Arli was still out there unless he was upright and moving. Jung found that highly unlikely; he’d been missing for four days now. Unless he found shelter and food, he’d be weak from the elements and hunger…or worse. Jung shook his head, refusing to fall into the depression the flash of orange had pulled him out of. He’d find Arli, they’d get out of this godforsaken place together and spend the rest of their lives in a warm place.


Station protocol was that researchers only go outside once a day; even if they felt they’d warmed up to normal body temperatures. There was too great a possibility of the heart and lungs being damaged from the cold and the person not being aware of it. Despite being the only person there, Jung still followed protocol, the need to follow a structured pattern and adhere to the rules. The monotony and predictability staved off insanity thus far, it would have to continue.

Part of that routine was the midday systems check, reading the instruments, checking the life support systems, and reaching out to the main base with his status and the status of the station. The rhythm was soothing and allowed his mind to wander, that is, until a low noise pulled him out of his stupor. It was faint, just like the keening and, like the keening, it was persistent. Jung rose from his chair and walked quietly in his stocking feet, walking back and forth across the room, trying to ascertain where the noise was originating from. There! A sort of scritch, scritch, scriiiiitttccchhhh sound from the outside of the habitat. If there were any trees in the vicinity, he’d have thought the sound was being created from a branch scratching the walls but there was nothing of the sort on this barren plain. The sound was far to faint to be that of a moose or other wild beast. “Arli.” Jung whispered to himself. Arli had found the habitat! He was trying to locate the door in the blinding whiteout.

Jung ran to the surveillance room and flicked through the various screens, trying to find the right cameras with the correct angles that would show the outer perimeter of the habitat. In his haste, he’d skip over some cameras and double up on others. Jung forced himself to slow down once again, be methodical and check the cameras carefully. In the frame of Camera 3, he saw it, the proof he needed: Fresh boot prints. Arli was out there! He was certain of that now.

Rules be damned, he donned his dripping wet outerwear and hurled himself out into the weather. Rendered stupid with hope and love, Jung didn’t wait for his snow goggles to acclimate to the temperature change before charging in the direction of Camera 3’s view. He rounded the corner of the habitat and, in through the hurtling snowflakes, saw a shadow standing about eight feet in front of him. Through the fogged-up lenses of his goggles, Jung could just make out the blaze orange of the outerwear the field scientists wore. “Arli!” Jung cried out, tears of happiness and relief freezing on his face.

“Arliiiii.” The figure before him groaned. “Arliiiii.” Jung could have sworn it was his own voice, echoing back at him but that was impossible. The wind all but stole your voice before it had a chance of reaching your companion standing mere feet from you.

Jung stopped short, conflicted between being euphoric over finding Arli and confused at this sudden development. “Arli? What’s going on? Are you ok?” Jung asked, his words coming out in a rushed jumble.

“Arliiiii?” The thing before him mimicked the question.

Some primal part of Jung’s brain took over before the conscious part of his mind could make sense of what his body was doing. Before he knew it, he was running for the habitat door. Behind him, he could hear a shuffling as the thing followed him, shuffling, its breath seeming to rattle in its chest.

Jung slammed into the habitat door and fumbled with the handle as the thing stalked closer. Finally managing to get his numb, gloved hand to cooperate, Jung crashed through the door and slammed it shut behind him and, he could have sworn, he felt the hot, putrid breath of the thing on his skin.

Breathing heavily, Jung leaned against the door, trying to get his wits about him. That thing was Arli, he was sure of it but, also, positive it wasn’t Arli, at least, not the Arli he knew, the Arli he loved. What happened to him?

“Arliiiii.” He could hear his voice coming from outside the door followed by the scritch, scritch, sriiiiiiitcccch of, what he now knew, to be long, yellow claws.

Arli ran his gloved hands over his face, only realizing then that he was still wearing his outdoor gear when he jammed the goggles into the bones of his cheeks.

Checking again that the door was secure, Jung disposed of his outer wear, leaving them in a wet heap in the middle of the floor. Not caring that he was numb to the bone, he made his way to the surveillance room and brought up the camera for the front door of the habitat. There, he saw, hunched over itself, wearing tattered, blaze orange outerwear with the Z037 insignia emblazoned on its chest, the emaciated form of what had once been Arli. Arli had been a healthy, robust man and the thing that was scratching at the outside of habitat had ashen, papery, torn skin. Its lips were gone, in their place was chewed, ragged flesh. The thing had a stump where its tongue should have been. The tattered clothing revealed open, oozing wounds that wept despite the sub-zero temperatures. As he watched the Arli Thing, it tore a chunk of remaining flesh from its upper thigh, shoved it in it’s mouth and gnashed it with its teeth then swallowed it, the only trace left behind was sinew that clung to its teeth and a smattering of gore in the corners of its mouth.

Jung could taste the bile rising in his throat and heaved his coffee onto the floor, not caring about the mess. He needed to get out of there or he’d be the next gore in Arli’s teeth. He grappled with the comms system, finally getting it keyed up. “Z037 in distress! Z037 needs emergency assistance. Send help NOW!” He hollered into the microphone.

At first only static met his ear then, very lightly, he heard a keening, gargling “Arliiiiiii.” Jung dropped the mic and jumped back from the desk. Slowly, he turned. The thing that had been Arli was standing there, mere feet away and blocking the only door out.

The last coherent thought Jung had as the thing bit into his face and tore the flesh from his eye socket was that he had finally found what had happened to Arli.

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Original Series

Nightmarish Nature: Invisibles Among Us

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Sometimes it pays not to be seen, especially if there are things that want to eat you or if you have to sneak up on things to eat them.  So this time on Nightmarish Nature we’re going to look at some of the creatures known for being invisibles among us. Some of these critters engage in mimicry, intentionally looking like other specific things, but a lot of them engage in camouflage, just wanting to blend in. In this segment we’ll consider both but focus more on the latter.

Buggin’ Ya

Some of the most notable invisibles are masters of camouflage in the insect world…  Moths and beetles that look like bark or dead leaves.  Mantids and other insects that look like leaves or flowers.  Those stick bugs and walking sticks that I’m not sure how to classify (are they some kind of weird relations to assassin bugs or their own thing?).  And my personal favorite, Umbonia Crassicornis, a type of tree hopper better known as the thorn bug.  And don’t even get me started on spiders and scorpions…  You could come face to face with pretty much any of these critters while mucking around in your garden and be none the wiser for it unless their movement betrays their location or you happen to scan the area with a blacklight before you dig in.  It’s jump scare central, for sure!

Thorn bug hiding in plain sight on a stick "You don't see me, move along..."
Thorn bug hiding in plain sight on a stick

Leapin’ Lizards

Lizards and amphibians are also masters of disguise, often resembling their surroundings much like the insect world does.  Chameleons are celebrated because of their ability to change color to match their surroundings, but there are several lizards that do this, just not to that extreme.  Like anoles.  Take a trip to Florida and you’ll soon find that you’re being stared at by a lizard you didn’t even know was there, seeing as how anoles are everywhere and get into everything (one recently startled my mother after making its home in a hallway decoration).  You don’t even have to go to Florida, they range anywhere from Texas to North Carolina, and there are other lizards that range further north that do this as well.

Leaf Lizard "Be leaf...  Be leaf..."
Belief is everything to some lizard invisibles.

Cunning Cats

All those coat patterns you see on cats and other ambush hunters aren’t just for show – the spots and stripes allow our feline friends to blend into their surroundings while on the prowl.  Sneaky sneaky.  This helps them to be the amazing hunting machines that they are.  Assuming they don’t raise the bird alarm and draw attention to their whereabouts.  Because birds do love to raise a stink when there’s a feline predator about, and we can’t say we blame them.

Bird flyover yelling "Cat!"
You’ve been spotted… er… striped!

Aquatics

Then when you go underwater, you take it next level.  Camouflage is taken up a notch with seahorses, nudibranchs, and more that look exactly like random flotsam.  Some critters, such as Majoidea crabs, even decorate themselves with ocean debris to blend in.  And octopuses are like underwater chameleons on steroids that also utilize their surroundings to create a sort of protective armor that blends in, like when they carry anything they can grab to protect their squishy selves when sharks are about.  There are even true invisibles like shrimp, fish, and jellyfish that are actually clear except for their internal organs that don’t necessarily register with everything floating about underwater.  Even whales can appear to come out of nowhere depending on your angle to them to start with!

Water whispers "Don't mind us..."
The Deep Ones don’t want the attention.

If you’ve enjoyed this segment of Nightmarish Nature, feel free to check out some previous here:

Vampires Among Us

Perilous Parenting

Freaky Fungus

Worrisome Wasps

Cannibalism

Terrifying Tardigrades

Reindeer Give Pause

Komodo Dragons

Zombie Snails

Horrifying Humans

Giants Among Spiders

Flesh in Flowers

Assassin Fashion

Baby Bomb

Orca Antics

Creepy Spider Facts

Screwed Up Screwworms

Scads of Scat

Starvation Diet

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Original Creations

Alice – A Haunting Tale of Isolation and Betrayal by Baylee Marion

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Alice

By Baylee Marion

Empty, breathless, deafening isolation. I was trapped in a single room for as long as I can remember. I was so young but still old enough to know that I shouldn’t have been locked in the attic. I had a mattress on the floor, a toilet, a bathtub, and raggedy stuffed animals that were supposed to provide a sense of comfort.

My days were spent pacing, singing songs I made up to myself, and scratching into the walls. At first, I carved images of myself playing with other children. To imagine how they looked was a challenge, but I was blessed with my own reflection in the glasses of water passed through the slot.

For what purpose my keeper held me was impossible to tell. He spoke to me sometimes, through the small slot only when I was asleep, or so he thought. He would read me stories, tell me about Alice and her tales in Wonderland, and though I didn’t know who she was, I began to believe she was my friend too.

When children grow older, they’re supposed to grow wiser. They are supposed to distinguish what’s real and what isn’t. Eventually, their imagination dulls, and they fall into a rhythm of routine, of work and dining and bonding with their loved ones. At least I know that now, but I hadn’t when I was still alive.

As time passed, I held dearly onto the idea of Alice and eventually, she became real. I wish I could tell you Alice was my friend. I truly believed she was. She began to visit me first at night, maybe formulated by the tales of the strange man. She would stand at the edge of my bed, whispering terrible things.

Eventually, she grew so real she could touch me. Perhaps I manifested her into my reality, or perhaps I was far more ill than I realized. Alice joined me in my songs; she was naturally talented. She could match any song without explaining the words, and her voice would pair a perfect harmony with mine. She would brush my hair, strands falling out in clumps. Apparently, I looked prettier without hair. So Alice brushed and brushed. Eventually, I could see my scalp in my glasses of water.

When I ran out of hair, she told me the dark spots in my skin were the reason I was locked up. She said that if I scraped them out of my skin, then I would be set free. You must understand, as my only friend, I believed every word she said. Friends always told the truth, even if it hurt them, right? So I did as she suggested because I wanted nothing more than to be free.

And to my amazement, she was right! Though my skin stung, my heart heaved with hope that someday I could escape the four walls that composed my world. When the drops of red fell, for the first time in my waking memory, the door opened.

The strange man was no longer faceless. He stood with a big bushy beard and thick eyebrows. His nose was as unremarkable as his hidden mouth. His belly protruded as if he had eaten enough for us both. He reprimanded me for listening to Alice, he urged me that Alice was not real, but she urged me she very much was.

My wounds healed, and Alice explained it wasn’t enough to be set free. I asked what she meant. She told me I wasn’t trapped in the attic at all. No, I was trapped in my body. The hair, the skin, the blood. It was all a cage that kept me from her and from freedom. If I could escape my skin, I would enter the real world, her world, where we could play forever.

I asked her how I could escape my skin when it was all I had ever known. How could I be alive without my body? She told me there were plenty of ways to escape myself. I could bite my tongue in half. I could pry up a sharp piece of floorboard and sink it into my beating heart.

I began to sob because I knew I would never be strong enough to do any of those things. I couldn’t simply strip the suit of skin off and become a ghost like her. The suffering of my misery was a familiar beast, but the thought of biting off my tongue seemed impossible.

But Alice assured me all was well. She said, “I will do it for you.”

I dried my eyes and sniffled. “But how?”

She giggled and replied, “I will switch places with you.”

My mouth hung open in shock. What a good friend she was to suffer the pain I couldn’t. I did not want to face her. The shame that I was sentencing her to the worst fate one could was too much to bear. I was supposed to be her friend. But my suffering was greater than my selflessness.

“Would you?”

She nodded. Lifting my chin under her fingertip, I met her gaze. She stuck out her pinky and gestured to me. I wrapped my pinky around hers, and instantly we switched places. I became a ghost and she became the shell that was me. My eyes could not believe what proceeded. Her hair had begun to grow, strands shining and beautiful, where moments ago I had none. Her skin had healed, no scars remained from the many nights my nails dug into them. In a flash, I became envious of the person she was, the version of me I should have been.

That night when she went to bed, the stranger came to the door to whisper stories. Alice snuck over to the small slot and began to whisper back in a language I have never heard before. The stranger, in a trance, opened the door and set Alice free. She waved goodbye to me as she left, the door wide open for her. I tried to follow her, but the door closed once more. I couldn’t escape. I was left in the attic, a ghost of my old self. I became Alice.


The End

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