Cell VS. Cell
Cell is that Stephen King book and movie that everyone forgets is a Stephen King book and movie. It might be because when you think of Stephen King you don’t usually think of zombies, and when I think of Cell I don’t necessarily think of zombies either. Whether or not Cell is really part of the zombie horror genre, I leave that up to you the reader to decide.
Cell – A Book
Clayton Riddell is an unassuming graphic artist who’s on his way home from Boston after landing the deal of a lifetime to publish his own graphic novel. Unfortunately for him, this is the day that “The Pulse” happens. The Pulse is an entirely phone based event where anyone who’s on their phone at around 3 in the afternoon on October 1st sometime in the mid-2000s gets their mind wiped causing them to suddenly and violently go crazy. Mass murder and mass panic ensues. As hysteria reins and people try to call for help more get hit by the Pulse and the Apocalypse begins.
Clay, who’s cell phoneless, avoids the Pulse, but from his vantage point on a random Boston street corner, things go downhill fast as “phone crazies” attack and kill people all around him. During the initial chaos Clay manages to save a gay guy named Tom McCourt, who joins him for the rest of the book for lack of anything better to do. Eventually they also pick up a traumatized 14 year old girl named Alice.
Fleeing Boston as it burns, our mains become refugees in the cell phone Apocalypse. Clay’s main objective is trying to get home to his wife and son Johnny G (they must have been really big fans of Kenny G is all I can think), Tom really wants to check on his cat, and Alice is mostly just coming along with them since she had to kill the only family she had apparently. They meet other “normies”, none Pulse affected people, along the road, and it is a very long road. There might be more walking in this book than in the whole ten seasons of The Walking Dead combined.
The phone crazies aren’t your typical “brainssssss” zombies. They might bite and stab, but they’re not after your juicy human meats. After the initial homicidal panic from the Pulse, they quickly start to change and evolve into something entirely different. You learn how all this happens from a 12 year old character in the book named Jordan, who apparently can figure all this out because he knows computer basics. As the phone crazies go from individual threats to a hive mind, Clay and his band become targets of the phone crazies new world order.
Thoughts – An effort was made
This book, more than anything else, feels downright frustrating. From the big flashing TECHNOLOGY BAD sign throughout it, to the one note characters, to the lack of clarity into just how the Pulse happened, and the halting pace of the entire book where things start to pick up only to slow down again to mourn for characters that you don’t really care about all that much about. Clay is not a very interesting main character to spend an entire book with. His one and only concern is to get home to his wife and son; no thoughts for other family, friends, coworkers or the greater effect the events that are unfolding around them are going to have on the future. As eager as Clay is to get home though, there are so many detours that slow the whole book down that at times it seems like the book is trying to replicate a phoner in reboot mode. As much as the book tries to push the found family trope it falls flat in that effort too. Despite spending time getting to know random characters, the fact remains that these were people Clay met only a hour to a day or two ago, so any real connection between the characters is somewhat lost.
The beginning of the apocalypse here, which takes at least 100 pages, could be the same as any typical zombie or plague movie or book (think World War Z on a local level only with the most average guy ever instead of Brad Pitt). It’s not until the phoners start changing to something other than mindless zombies that things really get interesting. The characters actually start to have some doubts and moral dilemmas about the mass killing of beings that used to be human, but may not be any longer. The problem is, things also get so convoluted and motivations of the phoner hive mind remain so dim that the big climax and the ending of the book feels supremely unsatisfying as a whole.
The book may hold more disappointment for me than enjoyment, but it’s not the worst book I’ve ever read, nor even the worst Stephen King book, but it’s still not ranked anywhere near the top of my Stephen King must read list.
Cell – A Movie
This may be a rare instance where a movie is actually better than the book it was based off of. Perhaps it’s because the movie trims all the unnecessary fat and characters from the book to fit it into its hour and a half running time, but the entire premise seems to work better as a movie. The screenplay is still written by Stephen King and Adam Alleca, and the plot is basically the same as the book, with a few key differences.
Clay in the movie is played by the ever pleasant and sad eyed John Cusack, who brings a real feeling of humanity to the character of Clay that was lacking in the book. Clay’s still a graphic artist on his way home to his estranged wife and son, only now the phone Apocalypse starts for him in a Boston airport, which is a much more exciting start than a random street corner.
Escaping the chaos at the airport for the subway, Clay runs into the movie version of Tom, played by Samuel L. Jackson, who bears pretty much no resemblance to Tom from the book. Movie Tom is now a subway driving, Vietnam vet, devoice who, like Clay, is caught up in everything going on. To the movie’s credit, there is a throwaway line that Tom is still gay, even if it’s blink and you’ll miss it. Tom has Clay’s down to earth attitude about the end of the world and it’s easy to understand why they might stick together this time around. They also find their own traumatized Alice Maxwell, played by Isabelle Fuhrman.
Perhaps the biggest change from the book to the film is the sense of solitude the survivors experience while heading north. Wide shots of isolated cell phone towers in nature add to the feeling, and the low budget independent film look of the movie makes for some realism in a way that World War Z or the Dawn of the Dead remake lacks. When the leads do run into other normies, instead of the stereotypical Stephen King crazy religious ladies or redneck yokels from the book, you get some likeable average Joe type people who are willing to help Clay’s crew out. Even character deaths of one-off characters in the movie seem to hold more weight than they do in the book.
The phone crazies powers are trimmed down from the book as well, and at the same time become much scarier when they start admitting the Pulse (which sounds a lot like an AOL dial-up tone) from their mouths in order to infect remaining normies. At that point it becomes a survival of the fittest species type movie.
After King changed the ending for the movie from the book because of criticism of the book ending, the movie ending is still just as confusing. While the book’s ending is a bit more on the hopeful side, in general I still preferred the new movie ending to the book ending.
But seriously, don’t ask me what’s going on here cause I haven’t got a clue.
Final Girl Thoughts
If you’re the type of person who needs every plot point explained in great detail, this is definitely not the book or the movie for you. If you like your apocalypses more on the confusing side, then you might enjoy Cell. There’s some of the typical Stephen King unusualness that happens, the shadowy figure haunting the mains every step (this time called the Raggedy Man or the President of Harvard or the President of the Internet, whichever you prefer) and characters having psychological breakdowns on the regular. Cell, both the movie and the book, definitely have that Stephen King mark on them, though they perhaps lack the deeper themes that make for a real Stephen King classic. My recommendation, watch the movie for free on Tubi and skip the book entirely.
(3 / 5)
Book Reviews
Review: Don’t Eat the Pie, Monique Asher’s delicious trope fest.
“Real monsters are people, and I’ve seen them”
Published in September 2024, Don’t Eat the Pie is a debut novel from author Monique Asher. Reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby, this story delivers on so many tropes it is doubtful that anyone will not find something to like within its pages. It is not only tropes that Asher has gone to town with. Don’t Eat the Pie is also a mishmash of horror sub-genres that somehow works without being obvious. Southern gothic, supernatural, cult, body horror; it’s all served up here.
The Plot.
Newlyweds Sam and Ben’s idyllic honeymoon is cut short when Ben’s elderly mother, Nadine, suffers a fall. The couple and Sam’s teenage daughter, Emma, relocate to Ben’s childhood home to care for her.
Ben’s mother, lives on the exclusive Camillia Island. A secluded haven of wealth and privilege, accessible only by a creaky drawbridge. Things are smooth at first but both mother and daughter begin to notice some peculiar occurrences: mysterious men in pink shirts, overheard whispers, and a strange aftertaste from a seemingly innocent dessert.
As the days pass, the island’s tranquillity is shattered by increasingly bizarre events. The once-familiar landscape transforms transforms and the true identities of the island’s residents remain shrouded in secrecy. Sam and Emma find themselves entangled in a web of intrigue, questioning their own connection to the island’s dark past. As the stakes rise, Sam and Emma must uncover the truth about Camillia Island and its inhabitants before it’s too late.
Highlights.
The way Asher has built this plot is genius. The abundance of tropes might leave readers assuming predictability. However, red herrings sprinkled throughout the chapters will leave you guessing but never quite certain who is friend and who is foe until the final chapters.
The way that Asher depicts the natural elements on Camillia Island is also worth mentioning as a highlight. Nature plays a big role in this plot and I confidently say that it is a character in its own right. It is not only the ubiquitous snakes and crows encroaching on the inhabited spaces that lend a sinister feeling. The descriptions of the ocean surrounding the island, the vines and flowers that grow around the houses and even the scents permeating the breeze all combine to create a single force that drives the plot to its conclusion.
Drawbacks.
Don’t Eat the Pie is told through the alternating points of view of Samantha and her daughter Emma. This has become a popular way to narrate a story and I understand that it gives the writer a way to reveal information to the reader while still keeping specific characters in the dark. The problem is that if the voices are not distinct enough it can become confusing to differentiate who is telling the story, even if this is specified at the beginning of each chapter. This was the problem I encountered; Sam and Emma are so similar that I spent a lot of time turning back to the chapter headings to check who was telling the story at each point.
The Final Take.
I loved this story.
Don’t Eat the Pie has something for every horror reader. A Southern gothic, supernatural, occult, familicide, body horror… I could go on.
This was so close to the 5 out of 5 rating. It only missed out due to the alternating points of view causing some confusion because they were too similar.
(4.5 / 5)
After her 2017 debut novel, If We Were Villains, captivated readers and skyrocketed to Tik Tok fame readers have been holding their collective breath for anything from M. L. Rio. Seven years later we are presented with Graveyard Shift, another dark academic horror, though a novella this time around. The question is, was it worth the wait and why are readers split in their reactions to this story?
The Plot.
In the opening scene of Graveyard Shift readers encounter five people who often meet in a graveyard on smoke breaks from their various nocturnal jobs.
On the night in question, they discover a freshly dug hole near where they regularly gather. This sounds unremarkable until they realize that no one has been interred in this graveyard for over one hundred years. With the mystery revealed each character returns to their night, each eager to find the purpose of the hole.
Highlights.
Writing a novella that includes the viewpoints of five main characters is a considerable feat. Despite allowing only two chapters for each character in the entire story M. L. Rio successfully juggles these viewpoints without dropping any balls. From the driven editor-in-chief Edie Wu to the enigmatic Tuck. Each character possesses a distinct voice and plays a crucial role in unraveling the mystery. Whether it’s the insomniac ride-share driver Hannah or the bartender at Rocker Box. Each character stands apart, making this novella a compelling read.
Another highlight of this novella is that this is not just another horror novel claiming to be dark academia because it’s set in or near a university. This story is soaked in the academic and the dark side of medical research.
Drawbacks.
The length of this story really went against M. L. Rio, there was so much expectation and hype around its release that when the 100-odd-page story was delivered there were many sighs of disappointment.
And it is not just reader expectation that caused the length to work against her. It must be said that the complexity of the story and the depth that Rio goes to to set up each character would have benefited from being rounded out by another, let’s say 200 pages. The last chapters seem rushed and the ending is ambiguous to say the least, but not in a good way.
I read this on a Kindle and was confused by the story ending at 85%, then slightly angry that the remaining pages were filled by a playlist, an excerpt of If We Were Villains and cocktail recipes??? Although I usually enjoy this type of extra content in fiction, I think Rio’s time might have been better spent writing a few more chapters.
The Final Take.
I approached Graveyard Shift with high expectations, but was ultimately disappointed. While the novel’s form, with its focus on multiple perspectives, initially drew me in, the abrupt and unsatisfying conclusion left me wanting more. Presenting this story as a novella did not do justice to the characters of the story. The mystery of the empty grave was intriguing, and following each character through their nocturnal routines was enjoyable. However, the rushed ending undermined the overall experience.
(2 / 5)
You can’t beat a good old haunted house story. One of the classic tropes of the genre, it allows for some old-school spooks while providing some character development. Now dress it up in a new generation suit and you get something completely different. How does Haven measure up as an addition to the trope? Let’s find out!
Plot
We start the story with a family of four headed on a month-long holiday at a distant relative’s mansion. We have Jeff, the ever-so-average husband, Jenna, the thriller-reading health nut wife. The kids are JJ, the loner gamer son with a passion for swimming, and Jessie, the social media addict with severe insecurities.
I would say that personally, their dynamic was the most interesting and promising part of the novel. It’s clear from the get-go that Jeff and Jenna are trying against all odds to preserve the American Dream. Except right away there is resentment bubbling underneath. Jeff is a pretentious asshole who thinks Jenna’s taste in books is inferior (as a domestic thriller fan I take great offence). Jenna wishes for him to have more career ambition so she can afford the lifestyle she wants. Safe to say there is barely any intimacy between the couple.
When it comes to the kids, both JJ and Jessie feel like an extension of the worst traits of their parents. Jessie’s entire world is social media and her following. For JJ, he is arguably the character with the least development. His main traits are that he hates his family and can’t wait to move out. Oh, and the food.
This is something that I found more discomforting than the horror in the book. Both of the kids have severe food issues, with JJ overeating to the point of obesity while Jessie starves herself and has developed bulimia from the pressure to stay ‘perfect’. The horrifying thing is that neither of the parents notice these things about their kids or if they do, they choose to ignore it.
The haunting in this story is very family-focused. Missing things, Jenna’s harassment, Jeff’s seduction – all these things seem to be specifically catered to break whatever was left of this family unit. Not that it takes much to push them over the edge. This begs the question that whoever is haunting this place is methodical and feeds off their misery.
Gussie’s excerpts break up the pace but personally, I wasn’t as engaged with them as I was with the main story. That being said, I understand its necessity in order to develop the lore.
Writing style
I would say one of my biggest gripes with Haven is not the story itself but rather the way it’s told. The writing style seems like it was trying to adapt to the new times and be tongue-in-cheek. This has varying degrees of success, with some genuinely good nuggets of writing scattered. However, some of it falls flat, especially in the beginning, with the characters doubling down on the points we already knew through the narrative.
Overall thoughts
Haven is a good effort at a haunted house story where there are scarier things than ghosts. It does a good job exploring family dynamics and dealing with negative emotions. The setting is also a strong point of the novel, the house and the forest surrounding it being quite immersive.
As I mentioned, for me the main negative was a bit too try-hard type of writing, although it got better as the book went on. I found the end to be a bit too soft for my liking but it fits with the story. Overall I would still recommend.
(3 / 5)
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