Notes from The Last Drive-In: S1E6
This week’s theme is… big, big messes. Seriously, both movies are full of gore, viscera, and the cleanup involved afterwards has gotta be insane.
We’re back with Joe Bob again this week at The Last Drive-In, exclusively on Shudder. It’s important to note, Mutants, that as of this moment Shudder has not committed to renewing The Last Drive-In for another round, so what I ask is that you take a moment to tweet @shudder with your desire for more episodes. Don’t forget the hashtag #TheLastDriveIn either!
WolfCop (2014)
Opening Rant: Did you know that Saskatchewan is the Arkansas of Canada?
The first film of the night, WolfCop, is pretty much perfect drive-in fare. WolfCop is a Canadian horror comedy about a cop named (wait for it) Lou Garou. Lou is a fairly unimpressive cop in the small community of Woodhaven who spends most of his time at the bar. Well, soon enough he becomes swept into an investigation of cultist activity in town that results in him becoming a werewolf to violent and hilarious results.
The movie was written and directed by Lowell Dean for the CineCoup Film Accelerator program. WolfCop stars Leo Fafard as Lou Garou, and features Amy Matysio, Jonathan Cherry, Sarah Lind, Aiden Devine, and Jesse Moss. Jonathan Cherry as Willie gives a particularly inspired manic wing-man performance with a twist. Leo Fafard steals the show, however as Lou in deadbeat cop and WolfCop modes.
Reviews
Joe Bob was very enthusiastic in his discussion of WolfCop, awarding the film three stars. The film is violent, hilarious, and gory and in the words of Joe Bob, features “interspecies aardvarking.” The film, structurally, falls a bit flat which likely explains why, despite all the film has going for it, it only reached the three star level. That’s okay though, because the final act of the film is absolutely bonkers in the best way possible because the whole film is played fast and loose. The highlight of the night, of course, was The Last Drive-In mangled-dick consultant Felissa Rose. Thanks for your expertise, Felissa!
The big disappointment of the night for us, as Drive-In fans, is that there just isn’t a ton to talk about the movie compared to previous films. The film was made through the Cinegroup Film Accelerator program, but beyond that the team behind the movie and the cast has not done a ton since beyond a sequel, Another WolfCop. The most recognizable face in the film, Aiden Devine, is mostly a Canadian genre actor who might be recognized here and there. Unfortunately, unlike DEATHGASM, WolfCop doesn’t have enough interesting stuff going on around the movie. Nor has the talent around it had long enough to build interesting careers like some of the older films at the Drive-In.
As for us at Haunted MTL, WolfCop obviously gets a Canadian bump in the score. That being said, it is not like the film needs it. WolfCop is great, despite some plot problems, so we award it three and a half stars. There is some wonderfully loony special effects work in the transformation scenes, and the love scene between woman and beast is funny as hell.
Best Line: “Grab some meth!”
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
Opening Rant: The legacy of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
The second film of the night is a masterpiece of feel-bad film. Henry: Portrait of Serial Killer is one of those movies that people love to be destroyed by, or absolutely hate. Again, tonight’s pairing is one of those strange combinations that has popped up on The Last Drive-In and results in a little bit of a tonal whiplash, like we saw during the pairing of DEATHGASM and The Changeling.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is not quite a horror film in the way Mutants are used to, and is more of a psychological horror film with true crime elements. The movie is a very, very loose adaptation of the supposed crimes of real-life serial killer Henry Lee Lucas and his partner-in-crime Ottis Toole. The film is notorious for being both controversial and critically praised. The fact the MPAA rated the film with an X-rating also increased the movie’s mystique.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer follows a period of time where a drifter and killer, Henry, lives with a prison friend, Otis, and Otis’ sister, Becky. The three are intensely damaged people who live in Otis’ Chicago apartment for a time. While Becky feels an abusive husband and tries to make a life for herself in Chicago, Henry introduces and educates Otis in the joy and art of murder.
It doesn’t get any more pleasant from there, folks.
The movie stars Michael Rooker, Tom Towles, and Tracy Arnold. Henry was directed by John McNaughton, who is also known for Wild Things (1998). The core cast of Rooker, Towles, and Arnold are superb and live in their parts so well the film almost feels like a documentary.
Reviews
Joe Bob absolutely had nothing but praise for the film, awarding Henry four stars. The lack of interesting asides in WolfCop was more than made up for in the break segments for Henry, as Joe Bob not only had a great deal to say about the film, but John McNaughton himself stopped by the trailer to reveal some insights into the movie and the lasting legacy of one of the grimiest crime films ever made. Recounting the film of the harrowing “home assault scene,” in particular, revealed a lot about how special this movie truly is. In one anecdote about the film of the movie, McNaughton muses to Joe Bob at the time saying “none of us are going to Heaven” after filming one of the infamous murder scenes. It is a movie so sleazy that an actual real life video pirate played a video pirate in the T.V. shopping scene.
As Joe Bob stated at one point, if drive-in films are about sex and violence, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is sex and violence stripped down to it’s essentials. The film is disturbing and grimy in such a way that as viewers you feel complicit in the on-screen carnage. Needless to say, we here at Haunted MTL love that. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is a four star film.
Best Line: “Shit, I’ve got to have a T.V.”
Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals
- Joe Bob Fashion: A white button up shirt with black, floral trim and an orange oval bolo tie
- 1 Degloved face
- 1 Sad, sad bowl of nachos (what even were those, Joe Bob?)
- 2 Plot-relevant Eclipses (this week, WolfCop, last week, The House of the Devil)
- 2 Eye Gouges
- 3 Victims played by the same actress
- 7 Producers on WolfCop
- 6 Twitter bans for Darcy
- Felissa Rose Mangled Dick Expertise Fu
- Post-murder Sandwich and Coffee Fu
- Rat Tail Comb Fu
- Walmart Joke Fu
- Five O’Clock Shadow Fu
- Irishman, Italian, and Redneck Joke Fu
- Gratuitous Whip Zooms and Pans
- Gratuitous Chair Pratfall
- Gratuitous Folklore Infodump
- Gratuitous Movie-based Rap Song over Credits
- Gratuitous Darcy Cosplay (as WolfCop)
- Gratuitous TV Shopping Scene
As always, please share your thoughts with us about The Last Drive-In. Also, please check out our other great content here at Haunted MTL.
Episode two of Wheel of Time felt like the beginning of a long journey. Stories are unfolding, lives are changing, and blood is spilling.
Let’s discuss.
The story
We begin this episode in the past with Elayne’s mother, Queen Morgase. It turns out her rise to the throne was a bit, shall we say, cutthroat. So when she shows up at the White Tower, Siuan is concerned.
She might have reason to be, too.
Meanwhile, Rand, Egwene, Moiraine, Lan and Aviendha are in the Spine of The World. As they travel through some of the most breathtaking lands I have ever seen on a TV show, Egwene is plagued with nightmares. We think at first that’s just her trauma working itself through her system. But we soon find out that it might not be that straightforward.
Finally, Perrin returns home to heal after his hand is almost cut in half. But when he gets there he finds the town has been infested by Children of The Light. And they’re looking for him.
What worked
There was something heartwarming in this episode about political espionage and choking religious persecution. And that is Elayne’s relationship with her family.
I have consumed a lot of fantasy content with royal families. And I have never once heard a princess call her mother ‘Mum’. I’ve never seen royal siblings get along. And I have sure as hell never seen a princess have a good relationship with her step-parent.
This was refreshing. Even though Queen Morgase is kind of a horrible person she seems like a good mother. And that’s an unexpected delight.
Of course, this is just one storyline among many. And while this can sometimes be overwhelming, in this case it wasn’t.
I’ll be honest, some of these storylines are going to drag for me. I know this because I’ve read some of the Wheel of Time books and I have an idea that not all the characters exactly pique my interest.
No one likes all the characters. No one likes all the storylines. While I am here for the political espionage between Queen Morgase and Siuan, not everyone likes it. While others might be fascinated with Selene trying to win Rand back, I couldn’t care less.
Having multiple storylines keeps everyone’s attention better. So long as things don’t get out of hand. Things can easily get out of hand. But this seems to be managed well.
So far.
What didn’t work
As I mentioned above, I’m not thrilled with Rand’s story at this point. And while it’s fine to not like a storyline when there are this many to choose from, it’s not fantastic that the one I like the least is the one involving our two main characters. And anytime we were with the team at the Spine of The World, the only thing that brought me joy was Moirain’s hat. It reminded me of Stockard Channing’s hat in Practical Magic.
The problem is that Rand is Charlie Brown with controversial magical powers. He is boring, serious, and pessimistic.
And yes, I understand that he has a heavy emotional burden and he’s the Dragon Reborn and that’s quite taxing and all. But let’s be fair, there isn’t a single person in this show that doesn’t have a heavy burden. And most of them manage to be fun occasionally.
All that being said, this episode of Wheel of Time did exactly what it needed to do. It set up conflicts at each of the three locations. It established emotional ties between the characters and the events. And it established goals for everyone.
This was, in short, a solid episode. Not groundbreaking, not mind-blowing or life changing. It was simply good. It was entertaining and moved the plot forward.
Well done.
(3.5 / 5)
Wheel of Time is back for season three. There are mixed feelings regarding this. Last season, there were some serious pacing issues. And some serious sticking to the book’s storyline issues. But we’re two seasons in, and we don’t give up so easily. So let’s dive into episode one, To Race the Shadow.
By the way, I highly recommend watching this episode with the subtitles on. You’ll see why.
The story
We begin this episode with Liandrin facing a trial of sorts for her rampant betrayal. She does her best to gaslight her Aes Sedai sisters into thinking that Siuan Sanche is the real traitor.
When that doesn’t work, she reveals how many Black Aes Sedai have actually infiltrated the tower.
Spoiler, it’s a lot.
In the aftermath, our whole team gathers to drink and enjoy one night of relaxation before they head out to the Tear to form an army for Rand. All is going well until they’re attacked by myriad creatures and a sentient axe.
What worked
This episode was long. It had a run time of an hour and eleven minutes. And a lot of that run time was spent in heavy dialog scenes.
Fortunately, these were well-done scenes.
If you’re going to have a lot of talking scenes, there are good ways and bad ways to do it. Last season, we saw lots of examples of the bad way to do it. But this episode did it well. For one thing, other things were going on while conversations were taking place. The characters are drinking, playing games, walking through an interesting city. And the scenes themselves didn’t stretch out. They weren’t repetitive. We heard what the character had to say, then we moved on.
It was also nice that the point of these scenes wasn’t just info dumps. We had character development. We had romantic interactions. We had plot development and foreshadowing.
Overall, this episode felt like what it was. A moment of calm before a storm.
Taking a step back, I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the fight scene at the start of the episode. Because it was epic.
The magic looked amazing. The martial arts that went along with it looked fantastic. The costumes were beautiful. It was just incredibly fun to watch.
More than that, it was emotional. We lost some characters in that fight that were important. And it was clearly emotionally shattering for many of our characters, who found themselves betrayed by people they trusted.
So many of them.
It was a great way to open the season.
What didn’t work
Despite that, this episode wasn’t without its flaws.
First off, there were a lot of dialog scenes. And they were good scenes, as I’ve already discussed. But it was one after another after another. And when your episode is, again, an hour and eleven minutes, it’s maybe a little much to have so much chit-chat. Couldn’t some of these conversations, important as they were, have been moved to maybe another episode?
Finally, I want to talk about Egwene’s travel through the arches.
I feel like maybe there were some deleted scenes here. Because there must have been more to that visit than what we saw, right?
We could have seen Egwene battle Rand. That would have been badass and emotionally devastating. We could have seen her with a quiet life with Rand back home at the Two Rivers. We could have seen anything except for the quick clip of Rand in a bloody river, followed by Egwene being shoved back out in a bloody shift.
No products found.
Bad job. But at least it wasn’t an extended scene of Moiraine collecting bathwater, and then taking a bath while looking sad. If we’d started this season with another scene like that, it might have broken my brain.
Amazon dropped the first three episodes at once. So we’ll be back soon to talk about episode two. See you then.
(4 / 5)
Early 2000s is a special era for the industry. It accepts the cheesiness and corniness of movie making, in turn producing some gems in their own right. Eight Legged Freaks starring David Arquette and young Scarlet Johanson is a horror comedy about giant spiders who overtake a small town. As crazy as that premise sounds, the movie surprisingly has a ton of heart and is super entertaining. Let’s review, shall we?
Plot
We start Eight Legged Freaks with a shot of toxic waste spilling into the water supply of Joshua, a spider farm owner. He is friends with Mike, one of our protagonists, who is a science geek and a spider enthusiast. Mike notices something quite right upon visiting Joshua, but no one takes him seriously. We are then introduced to the rest of the crew. Mike’s mother Samantha, the town sheriff, is too busy chasing Ashley, his sister, who is dating the town mayor’s son Bret (something Samantha does not approve of). We also have Chris, who returns to the town to save his father’s legacy in the town mines. He has opposition from Wade, Bret’s father, who wants to use the mines for his business ventures. Lots of drama going on that will only get juicier once the spiders get loose.
The creepy crawlies quickly dispose of Joshua and make their grand appearance after Ashley rejects Bret’s advances, abandoning him in the middle of a desert. A glorious chase sequence ensues as the spiders make their way towards the town, wreaking havoc on its residents. In a true horror fashion (which the movie acknowledges), it takes some convincing from Mike and then from Samantha for the town to take the threat seriously. The tongue-in-cheek style of narrative adds the comedy aspect to a movie that would otherwise burn out fairly quickly.
The remaining characters hide out in a shopping mall as it’s the only somewhat sturdy building in the area. This doesn’t last long as the spiders break in, forcing them to run through the mines. Their resources to fight the creepy crawlies off are limited as the methane gas doesn’t allow them to use firearms. Such conditions require resourceful thinking from Chris, who uses perfume to fend off the leader of the spider group and save himself during the climax of the movie.
Character dynamics are not forgotten once the action kicks in. We have Chris confessing his long-term feelings for Samantha which she knew all along, which provided some comedic relief. Bret also reunites with Ashley and apologises for being an asshole. Mike finally gets the appreciation he deserves as his knowledge saves the townsfolk more than once during the whole ordeal.
We end the movie with the town’s radio show person telling the story as an urban legend during his segment. This brings it into question – how much of it happened the way he said it did? We can only guess…
Overall thoughts
Eight Legged Freaks is a fun creature feature with some self-aware commentary on genre tropes that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The acting is good, the pacing fitting and the characters are likeable enough for you to want them to make it through. Definitely a must watch, if you don’t suffer from arachnophobia, that is.
(5 / 5)
![Eight Legged Freaks [Blu-ray] [DVD]](https://hauntedmtl.com/wp-content/plugins/aawp/public/image.php?url=YUhSMGNITTZMeTl0TG0xbFpHbGhMV0Z0WVhwdmJpNWpiMjB2YVcxaFoyVnpMMGt2T0RFNGFuZ3lUMUpJYzB3dVgxTk1NVFV3TUY4dVgxTk1NVFl3WHk1cWNHYz18MTc1MDg3MTE2NQ=)
- What do you get when you cross toxic waste with a bunch of exotic spiders? Eaten! The townies of Prosperity, Arizona will all become a screaming smorgasbord if mutated arachnids as big as SUVs have their way in this comedy/horror crowd pleaser whose creators include the producers of Independence Day and Godzilla
- Spiders that leap like gazelles, web-spitting spiders, spiders that suck your insides out as if through a straw—they’re all among the behemoths conjured up by an inventive effects team
- David Arquette (Scream) leads the two-legged stars, mobilizing the citizenry in a last-ditch fight to survive
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