The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs: I Can’t Believe it’s Not Jaws!
The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs continues toward the season finale with its varied movie selections alongside the informative, and sometimes on-topic, rants Joe Bob delivers during breaks in the films. His co-host, the intelligent and beautiful Darcy the Mailgirl, does her best to keep him under control but he is one hard to wrangle cowboy. It can be watched on AMC+ and Shudder.
Jaws Rip-Off Night
What happens when Joe Bob sends a request up the corporate ladder to play Jaws (1975) on The Last Drive-In? Don’t get too excited because he absolutely does not get permission to play it. Instead, viewers are treated to Alligator (1980) and Grizzly (1976) on Jaws Rip-Off Night. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
An Unexpected Error
Instead of tearing into the start of the episode, many members of the #MutantFam were unfortunately left in the dark. Shudder has a history of server issues on The Drive-In nights and this week was one of the worst in recent memory. As angry tweets flood my timeline (including one from Chris Jericho), I refresh the page repeatedly and wait.
If I were able to watch, I’d hear Joe Bob complaining about privacy fences and how Americans have turned their neighborhoods into suburban fortresses. “Wasn’t it better when you could sit out on your front porch and look all the way down to the end of the street and see grass and trees and pink flamingos and lawn sprinklers and all that stuff?” he asks.
He continues, and I am sitting unaware on my front porch looking down my street & watching the neighborhood kids catch fireflies. When I re-watch the episode, the irony of this is not lost on me.
Stranger Times
While Joe Bob laments privacy fences and how they make neighbors strangers, Darcy chimes in. “This is one of your stranger rants.” She is dressed as a sexy rendition of an alligator and Joe Bob laughs as she places a realistic gator mask over her head. Despite his assurance that it would all come back around, I fail to see how any of it relates to Lewis Teague’s Alligator.
The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: Cop chomping, showdown in Booger Alley, gratuitous bomb scare, and dynamite fu. This blend of Jaws and C.H.U.D. (1984) earns three stars from Joe Bob.
Hollywood Dreams
As the insatiable mutant gator wreaks havoc across Chicago, Joe Bob gives credit to the plethora of character actors featured in the film. Sydney Lassick, Bart Braverman, John Lisbon Wood, and Michael V. Gazzo are all featured as Joe Bob tries to cram decades of Hollywood history into the segment. He continues recognizing other actors in the film throughout.
He continues with the Hollywood history lesson when he highlights the work of Henry Silva. Silva died last year at the Motion Picture and Television Home in Woodland Hills, California. For those unaware, the home was created after several former Hollywood stars died in destitution. Its intended purpose is to help those within the industry who are out of work and struggling.
With the current WGA / SAG-AFTRA strike, one source has stated, “The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses.” Joe Bob does not go into the history of the home in the episode, but for those aware – the mention alone feels important.
It also feels important when he tells the audience Lassick held a job as a truck dispatcher the entire time he was acting. Too many actors today continue to rely on secondary sources of income to supplement the laughably low residual pay they receive for their work. Fatty Arbuckle may have died without a penny to his name, but the studio heads of his time sure didn’t.
No Apologies Needed
Joe Bob seems to be more sensitive to the time constraints of the show this episode, and calls himself out for rambling multiple times. Darcy reminds him this behavior is nothing new before disappearing to wardrobe for the next few segments.
Hail Seitan!
While Darcy is absent, Joe Bob talks about the topics that are more upsetting to her vegan and animal-loving sensibilities. He talks about the advent of the Miami entertainment industry and its roots in alligator wrestling.
When Darcy returns, the topics shift back to the movie. We learn about the various issues with the giant alligator models used in the show, which caused a pivot to using miniatures for many of the shots. It is revealed the animatronic alligator named Ramon was donated to the University of Florida and occasionally appears in halftime shows, and a production member can’t help but let out a confused “What?!”
My rating for Alligator:
(2.5 / 5)
Slide Into Joe Bob’s DMs
Since Joe Bob requested meaner letters in a previous episode, Dacry delivers an angry twitter DM from Jeff in Iowa. Jeff is very upset because he does not consider Heathers to be a horror film. He calls it “a chick flick teenage drama movie.” He finishes his message by assuring Joe Bob he still loves him and the show, he just wants more pure horror on The Drive-In. Joe Bob says he counts serial killer movies as horror and, “Heathers has enough horror elements to count.”
Paws -or- Claws
Joe Bob does not hold back in his comparison of Grizzly to Jaws. He says the movie is “goofy as all get-out” and draws the parallel to people who prefer the beach or the mountains. He gets a little heated when discussing whether or not Jaws is a horror film, and therefore whether eco-horror is a viable subgenre of horror. “Giant creature eating people! Okay?! Duh! Such basic horror.”
The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: 2 dead bears, arm ripping, pervert bear POV-attack, bloody-goo slippage, and bazooka fu. Despite repeated claims by the screenwriters and director William Girdler that Grizzly was independently created from Jaws, Joe Bob seems incredulous and gives the movie three stars.
Nit-Picking
Most of Joe Bob’s criticism of the movie comes in the form of calling out the sheer lack of logic displayed throughout. Complaints include but are not limited to: bears hibernation schedules, tourist taxes, and the unattended fires.
Darcy says what I’m sure many people at home are thinking when she interjects with “You’re way too picky.” She is now dressed as a sexy rendition of a bear, which for some reason pisses off incels on the internet. Seriously, leave Darcy the fuck alone you weirdos. She is smart and sexy and Joe Bob wants her there doing her thing.
Character Night
This episode of The Drive-In could also be called Character Actor Night with the attention Joe Bob continues to pay to them. He gives credit to the many actors throughout, and reveals Richaed Jaeckel as Scotty the Bear Man also lived and died in the Motion Picture and Television Home.
Special attention is given to Girdler’s fascinating biography. Joe Bob refers to him as “the exploitation king of Louisville, Kentucky.” Girdler came from a very wealthy family, and had a private screening room in his home at a time when it was almost unfathomable.
Money Money Money
Despite his family’s independent wealth, Girdler was not a stranger to money issues. Even with Grizzly being wildly successful and making millions of dollars, Girdler found himself living in Leslie Nielsen’s guest house for a period of time.
These money issues were exasperated by Grizzly’s executive producer Edward L. Montoro selling the worldwide distribution rights and trying to keep the $1.5 million from the sale to himself. After suing, Girdler eventually received his share of the profits as did writers David Sheldon and Harvey Flaxman.
Girdler’s career was tragically cut short at 30-years-old when he died in a helicopter crash. Joe Bob believes he was on track to have a Roger Corman level of career, and he mourns with Louisville for their loss.
My rating for Grizzly:
(3.5 / 5)
Mail Call
The final fan mail of the night comes from Chuck Daniels. His letter calls back to the start of season when the Drive-In featured two films from Lucio Fulci. Daniels believes he has figured out a way Fulci’s movies fit together and Joe Bob gives his theory credence. Darcy believes Fulci was just making a bunch of movies in a short frame of time. They can agree to disagree, especially on something so low-stakes.
My rating for the episode:
(3.5 / 5)
Movies n TV
“How to Split an Atom,” a Scientific Return to Evil
The assessors return to investigate a particle accelerator with a damning history in “How to Split an Atom.” Season 4 Premiere of Evil.
The assessors return to investigate a particle accelerator with a damning history in “How to Split an Atom.” David (Mike Colter) can’t seem to shake off the dire warning of his vision. Kristen (Katja Herbers) reaches her breaking point. Ben (Aasif Mandvi) sees the light and faces some uncomfortable realizations.
“How to Split an Atom” is the first episode of season 4 of Evil, created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, Christine Lahti, and Andrea Martin. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
What I Like about “How to Split an Atom”
While “How to Split an Atom” does start in season 3’s conclusion, it’s still a satisfying introduction through Kristen’s reaction alone. While it’s less effective and necessary in the era of streaming services, it reminds viewers of the last season’s execution to re-establish tension.
“How to Split an Atom” sets Kristen and Ben to face their most personal challenges. While Kristen often gets a good amount of material to explore, Ben receives the least development of the three assessors. Now that the titular scheme suggests a scientific focus, Ben seems to earn more attention.
- In the final season, Kristen, David, and Ben continue to assess cases that involve wayward technology, possessed pigs, demonic oppression and infestation, a dance muse conjured by alleged witches, and an evil relic
- Throughout, Leland attempts to lure Kristen into raising a baby antichrist who was conceived with her ovum
- David is recruited by the Vatican’s secret service to remote view a paranormal ability to see the unseen to detect evil
- From creators Robert King and Michelle King (The Good Wife), Evil is a critically acclaimed psychological mystery series that examines the origins of evil along the dividing line between science and religion
- A skeptical female psychologist (Katja Herbers) joins a priest-in-training (Mike Colter) and a contractor (Aasif Mandvi) as they investigate the Church’s backlog of unexplained mysteries, including supposed miracles, demonic possessions, and hauntings
- This 13-disc collection includes all 50 episodes, along with deleted scenes and more!
Last update on 2025-03-03 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API
In comparison, David takes a step back, but the performance shows a man haunted by his vision. You see this conflict in his performance as he seems more held back and reserved throughout the episode.
Though far from unique to this episode, I haven’t yet found the opportunity to dive into the opening credits. These credits embody the idea of evil as an intrusive force against the good. It visibly displays the famed “problem of evil,” showing how the darkness intrudes against the light.
“How to Split an Atom” prepares the viewer for a new norm across every character. While that doesn’t evoke a truly haunting experience, it remains effective in building the foundation for the final season of Evil.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
Andy (Patrick Brammall) spirals in this episode, induced by trauma and manipulation. His interactions with Kristen showcase several toxic behaviors. While these issues hold merit and other forces manipulate him, this might not matter to some.
Though not directly stated, a minor character seems to suffer a psychotic break, leading to their death. “How to Split an Atom” doesn’t confirm if this is a suicide, a demonically assisted act, or a complete accident.
What I Dislike about “How to Split an Atom”
“How to Split an Atom” explores a similar titular scheme as last season, but it doesn’t resonate as well. It feels like it retreads season 3, focusing instead on science but still lingering in a similar design.
There’s a strange scene where Sister Andrea and David speak in a low whisper despite being alone in her room. If “How to Split an Atom” wants to imply that spies listen in, “How to Split an Atom” doesn’t show this idea effectively. However, I think it’s intended to parallel Catholic confession, but it still doesn’t make logical sense in execution.
As streaming shows become standard practice, starting a new season in the prior season’s conclusion makes the episode more dependent and repetitive. While the execution remains effective in “How to Split an Atom,” I can’t help but linger on that thought.
Final Thoughts
“How to Split an Atom” establishes a definitive timeline where all the forces of Evil will collide. It has its strengths but doesn’t haunt the viewer. The ramifications of Ben’s descent and Kristen’s breaking point keep this episode from blending into the background, but only slightly. (3.5 / 5)
We’ve reached the end of Goosebumps, The Vanishing. And after eight episodes of quality going up and down, I’m sad to say that the finale held to that theme.
The story
We begin this episode with the teens getting ready to go down into the fort to save their dad. Dr. Pamani gave them serum injections to keep them from being turned into pods. Then she locks them in, intending to never let them out again.
Through a series of quick thinking and bravery, everyone makes it out of the fort, though. Including Matty, Nicole, Hannah and Sameer.
For a time it looks like everything is going to be alright. Until Anthony tells Jen that they’ve got to do something about the alien ship that’s still trapped within the fort.
By the way, watch this with the caption on. It’s fantastic.
Jen and Anthony go back to Dr. Pamani’s lab in time to realize that no one is safe. Least of all, their kids.
What worked
You might notice that the ‘rescuing Dad from the pod’ part of this episode was over pretty fast. That’s because the actual story of this episode was about what came out of the facility rather than what was going on down there. And that was a surprising misdirect. I enjoyed that I didn’t see this misdirection coming. Well done.
I will also say that this episode was fun to watch. The critters were equal parts creepy and kind of cute. The dialog was fun and there were a lot of laughs.
This ending was also satisfying. All the questions are answered. Everyone gets a happy ending and all the people you want to get together do. It was a solid ending with no loose threads.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, that’s all the good things I can say about this episode.
Let’s start with the continued superficiality of the whole story. I just didn’t feel much of anything for any of these characters. I had a little twinge of bittersweetness when Matty looked through the box of his old things. But that was about it.
The problem here was that everything was going too fast. We jumped from chaos to chaos so fast that the emotions didn’t have time to sink in. It was like rain on a dry field. No matter how much falls, if it can’t be absorbed it’s not going to do much good.
Here’s the real problem I have with this episode, though.
You’ll recall that in the last episode, I was irritated by how quickly Dr. Pamani decided to help the kids. It should surprise exactly no one that she didn’t decide to help them, but to trap them in the facility to be podded forevermore.
- Goosebumps now on Disney+!Jack Archer is convinced something strange is going on at his neighbor’s house
- Mr
- Fleshman always wears all black, hardly ever leaves his house, and never says hello to anyone
Last update on 2025-02-28 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API
While I’m thrilled that Dr. Pamani didn’t just change her mind, I still think it was dumb as shit that anyone, especially our main characters, thought she did. These teens aren’t dumb. Kids aren’t dumb. We shouldn’t be portraying kids as dumb in a show for kids.
I’m not saying this series was pure garbage. I’m not saying it was dangerous or unwatchable. I’m just saying that, if it didn’t have the name Goosebumps, I probably never would have watched it. This story just doesn’t have the same staying power that the original stories do. It was fine to watch, but in the end, just didn’t have enough substance to warrant a rewatch.
(3.5 / 5)
After a shaky start, Goosebumps The Vanishing is still on shaky ground with this penultimate episode. While there were some surprises, a lot of them were rather disappointing.
I feel like I say this a lot, but if you’ve read the original book then you might have a hint about where this is going. But it won’t tell you the whole story. So let’s take a trip to Camp Nightmare and see what’s waiting for us.
The story
We begin this episode with a flashback to the Fort before it was a fort. A group of Camp Nightmoon campers is hiking there with the worst camp counselor ever. It was almost a relief when the mysterious monster reached up from the cliffside and grabbed him.
Back in the present, the teens are putting the pieces together. They track down Dr. Pamani’s father and even find a book he published. They then locate the address of her lab and break in. There, they find her journals that chronicle the discovery of the monster, and how it managed to kill her entire team.
What worked
In this episode, and in fact this season, scientists are not the bad guys. Which is a relief. Science fiction and horror tend to hold up a mirror to society, showing us what we’re really scared of using monsters and ghosts as allegories. So often, when people are wary of science and scientists, we have horror movies that demonize them.
But that’s not what happened here. The scientists are not necessarily the good guys, but the ones who tried to save the world. Even though they failed, they tried.
One good example of this was Dr. Pamani telling her father, “We’re scientists, not soldiers.” This is a great line. And this episode had a lot of great lines. The dialog was on point. Nothing felt forced, but it also felt polished and impactful. It was just overall well done.
I also enjoyed, to a point, the flashback scenes to 1969. It was interesting to see the people who tried to contain this entity. To learn from it. The flashback was also ominous. Because never did the characters explain how this entity got there. They didn’t seem interested in that, only in how to destroy it. Since we don’t know why or how it came to New York, we don’t know if there are more of them somewhere else. And since everyone’s being so secretive, we might never know.
Until it’s too late.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, this episode failed more than it succeeded.
Let’s start with the sudden change of heart Dr. Pamani has. For decades, she’s been controlling and containing this creature. She’s been careful to never take risks that might release it into the world. So when Cece and Devin want to go save their dad, she says no.
At first. Then, after a not-so-passionate plea by Cece, she changes her mind and agrees to help them save Anthony.
Which seems like a really quick departure from her stance just moments before. Honestly, this wasn’t believable at all. It was lazy. It felt like they just didn’t have a good enough reason for her to change her mind, so they just handwaved it away.
This wasn’t the only part of the story that was too easy. This whole investigation went smoothly for them. They wanted to find the book by Dr. Avi Pamani, and they found it at the library. They didn’t even find it. The librarian found it for them. They wanted to find Dr. Pamani’s address. They found it in seconds and also found her credit score. They got into her lab by doing nothing more than cutting a chain holding the door shut. And we’re supposed to believe that no one ever thought to do any of this? Four teenagers vanished in the 1990s, and none of their family members were ever able to put all this together. That just doesn’t make sense to me.
Both of these issues feed into the main problem with this episode. The whole thing felt watered way down. Especially after the hints about some horrific medical experiments taking place at the fort. I love a good horrific medical experiment story, so I was looking forward to that.
But that’s not what happened. Instead, it was a watered-down alien invasion story with a bunch of people who did their best and failed. It just felt like, frankly, not enough. It felt like there could have been so much more, should have been so much more. Instead, we got the Great Value version of what we could have had.
At this point, I think I’m too invested to give up. After all, there’s just one more episode left. But I’d be lying if I said that was something I’m looking forward to.
(3 / 5)
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