The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs: I Can’t Believe it’s Not Jaws!
The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs continues toward the season finale with its varied movie selections alongside the informative, and sometimes on-topic, rants Joe Bob delivers during breaks in the films. His co-host, the intelligent and beautiful Darcy the Mailgirl, does her best to keep him under control but he is one hard to wrangle cowboy. It can be watched on AMC+ and Shudder.
Jaws Rip-Off Night
What happens when Joe Bob sends a request up the corporate ladder to play Jaws (1975) on The Last Drive-In? Don’t get too excited because he absolutely does not get permission to play it. Instead, viewers are treated to Alligator (1980) and Grizzly (1976) on Jaws Rip-Off Night. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
An Unexpected Error
Instead of tearing into the start of the episode, many members of the #MutantFam were unfortunately left in the dark. Shudder has a history of server issues on The Drive-In nights and this week was one of the worst in recent memory. As angry tweets flood my timeline (including one from Chris Jericho), I refresh the page repeatedly and wait.
If I were able to watch, I’d hear Joe Bob complaining about privacy fences and how Americans have turned their neighborhoods into suburban fortresses. “Wasn’t it better when you could sit out on your front porch and look all the way down to the end of the street and see grass and trees and pink flamingos and lawn sprinklers and all that stuff?” he asks.
He continues, and I am sitting unaware on my front porch looking down my street & watching the neighborhood kids catch fireflies. When I re-watch the episode, the irony of this is not lost on me.
Stranger Times
While Joe Bob laments privacy fences and how they make neighbors strangers, Darcy chimes in. “This is one of your stranger rants.” She is dressed as a sexy rendition of an alligator and Joe Bob laughs as she places a realistic gator mask over her head. Despite his assurance that it would all come back around, I fail to see how any of it relates to Lewis Teague’s Alligator.
The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: Cop chomping, showdown in Booger Alley, gratuitous bomb scare, and dynamite fu. This blend of Jaws and C.H.U.D. (1984) earns three stars from Joe Bob.
Hollywood Dreams
As the insatiable mutant gator wreaks havoc across Chicago, Joe Bob gives credit to the plethora of character actors featured in the film. Sydney Lassick, Bart Braverman, John Lisbon Wood, and Michael V. Gazzo are all featured as Joe Bob tries to cram decades of Hollywood history into the segment. He continues recognizing other actors in the film throughout.
He continues with the Hollywood history lesson when he highlights the work of Henry Silva. Silva died last year at the Motion Picture and Television Home in Woodland Hills, California. For those unaware, the home was created after several former Hollywood stars died in destitution. Its intended purpose is to help those within the industry who are out of work and struggling.
With the current WGA / SAG-AFTRA strike, one source has stated, “The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses.” Joe Bob does not go into the history of the home in the episode, but for those aware – the mention alone feels important.
It also feels important when he tells the audience Lassick held a job as a truck dispatcher the entire time he was acting. Too many actors today continue to rely on secondary sources of income to supplement the laughably low residual pay they receive for their work. Fatty Arbuckle may have died without a penny to his name, but the studio heads of his time sure didn’t.
No Apologies Needed
Joe Bob seems to be more sensitive to the time constraints of the show this episode, and calls himself out for rambling multiple times. Darcy reminds him this behavior is nothing new before disappearing to wardrobe for the next few segments.
Hail Seitan!
While Darcy is absent, Joe Bob talks about the topics that are more upsetting to her vegan and animal-loving sensibilities. He talks about the advent of the Miami entertainment industry and its roots in alligator wrestling.
When Darcy returns, the topics shift back to the movie. We learn about the various issues with the giant alligator models used in the show, which caused a pivot to using miniatures for many of the shots. It is revealed the animatronic alligator named Ramon was donated to the University of Florida and occasionally appears in halftime shows, and a production member can’t help but let out a confused “What?!”
My rating for Alligator:
(2.5 / 5)
Slide Into Joe Bob’s DMs
Since Joe Bob requested meaner letters in a previous episode, Dacry delivers an angry twitter DM from Jeff in Iowa. Jeff is very upset because he does not consider Heathers to be a horror film. He calls it “a chick flick teenage drama movie.” He finishes his message by assuring Joe Bob he still loves him and the show, he just wants more pure horror on The Drive-In. Joe Bob says he counts serial killer movies as horror and, “Heathers has enough horror elements to count.”
Paws -or- Claws
Joe Bob does not hold back in his comparison of Grizzly to Jaws. He says the movie is “goofy as all get-out” and draws the parallel to people who prefer the beach or the mountains. He gets a little heated when discussing whether or not Jaws is a horror film, and therefore whether eco-horror is a viable subgenre of horror. “Giant creature eating people! Okay?! Duh! Such basic horror.”
The Drive-In Totals include but are not limited to: 2 dead bears, arm ripping, pervert bear POV-attack, bloody-goo slippage, and bazooka fu. Despite repeated claims by the screenwriters and director William Girdler that Grizzly was independently created from Jaws, Joe Bob seems incredulous and gives the movie three stars.
Nit-Picking
Most of Joe Bob’s criticism of the movie comes in the form of calling out the sheer lack of logic displayed throughout. Complaints include but are not limited to: bears hibernation schedules, tourist taxes, and the unattended fires.
Darcy says what I’m sure many people at home are thinking when she interjects with “You’re way too picky.” She is now dressed as a sexy rendition of a bear, which for some reason pisses off incels on the internet. Seriously, leave Darcy the fuck alone you weirdos. She is smart and sexy and Joe Bob wants her there doing her thing.
Character Night
This episode of The Drive-In could also be called Character Actor Night with the attention Joe Bob continues to pay to them. He gives credit to the many actors throughout, and reveals Richaed Jaeckel as Scotty the Bear Man also lived and died in the Motion Picture and Television Home.
Special attention is given to Girdler’s fascinating biography. Joe Bob refers to him as “the exploitation king of Louisville, Kentucky.” Girdler came from a very wealthy family, and had a private screening room in his home at a time when it was almost unfathomable.
Money Money Money
Despite his family’s independent wealth, Girdler was not a stranger to money issues. Even with Grizzly being wildly successful and making millions of dollars, Girdler found himself living in Leslie Nielsen’s guest house for a period of time.
These money issues were exasperated by Grizzly’s executive producer Edward L. Montoro selling the worldwide distribution rights and trying to keep the $1.5 million from the sale to himself. After suing, Girdler eventually received his share of the profits as did writers David Sheldon and Harvey Flaxman.
Girdler’s career was tragically cut short at 30-years-old when he died in a helicopter crash. Joe Bob believes he was on track to have a Roger Corman level of career, and he mourns with Louisville for their loss.
My rating for Grizzly:
(3.5 / 5)
Mail Call
The final fan mail of the night comes from Chuck Daniels. His letter calls back to the start of season when the Drive-In featured two films from Lucio Fulci. Daniels believes he has figured out a way Fulci’s movies fit together and Joe Bob gives his theory credence. Darcy believes Fulci was just making a bunch of movies in a short frame of time. They can agree to disagree, especially on something so low-stakes.
My rating for the episode:
(3.5 / 5)
We have come now to the finale of season four of The Boys. And while it didn’t have the literal blood fireworks I wanted, someone did get ripped in half in the air. So, that’s pretty close.
As a note, I will try to avoid spoilers as much as possible. This ending was a hell of a gut punch that should be experienced as blindly as possible. That being said, I will not be able to avoid spoilers and still give a full legitimate review. Proceed at your own risk.
The story
The main storyline for this episode is the attempted assassination of President-Elect Robert Singer. The Boys join forces with the Secret Service to protect him. But, as we learned last episode, Annie has been replaced with a shapeshifter. A shapeshifter that was welcome not just into Hughie’s anus, but into the protective bunker in which the President-Elect is hiding.
What worked
The first thing I want to discuss about this episode is the ending. But we need to do this carefully.
The important thing here is that the ending breaks your heart on so many levels. So many terrible things are happening to characters that it’s almost hard to keep track. And each moment is significant to each character.
I cannot give a specific example. But no matter who your favorite character is, you’re going to weep for them.
Unless your favorite character is Sage. And this is the next thing that made this episode so fantastic.
I don’t think I’m spoiling anything to say that Sage’s plans worked out exactly as she wanted them to. And she got exactly what she wanted.
What she wanted wasn’t power. It wasn’t money or fame or vengeance. It wasn’t to win the love of anyone. She just wanted to see if she could do it.
That is a terrific, terrifying motivation! Because all she wants is to play a massive game of chess with people as pieces. She doesn’t care about anyone. She just wants to see how many people she can manipulate. She just wants to set things on fire to see if she can.
Fantastic. A plus villain work.
The next thing I want to discuss is a cornerstone of the whole series.
The morality of The Boys shifts through the series. While it’s very much a battle to save the world from overpowered super monsters, it’s also a battle for the souls of our real heroes. And in that battle, there are two warring factors. We have Hughie, always trying to bring everyone up to a better level. And we have Butcher, who has no problem at all hitting rock bottom with a shovel in hand to do some more digging.
In this episode, we saw almost every member of The Boys challenged. Will they rise to their higher angels, or sink with their demons?
On a similar note, I am so glad that the writers kind of addressed my issues with Annie. They did this by having the shapeshifter get right into her face and accuse her of thinking that she’s better than everyone.
While that was devastating for the character, it was a little cathartic for those of us who felt like Annie was a little too good of a good guy.
What didn’t work
This is a small matter, but it is an issue that I want to address. After Annie finds out that Hughie slept with her doppelganger, she is furious at him.
In addition to this being unfair, it’s also a very cliche element to add. In almost every instance of a lookalike in fiction, there’s a moment where the love interest of the victim is fooled. Or almost fooled. And it’s always the same fight. It’s just played out and predictable. I’m just glad that it didn’t last very long.
Now that we’ve come to the end of the season, I can officially say that it was amazing. The story was deep and rich. The special effects were a stomach-turning good time. The character development was spot-on and satisfying. And, of course, it left me just about gagging to see what happens next. Unfortunately, it looks like we’ll have a bit of a wait. Because as of right now, the fifth season isn’t expected until 2026.
(5 / 5)
We’ve reached the second to last episode of The Boys, season four. And, as is appropriate for the penultimate episode of any show, things have to get a lot worse before they can get better.
Let’s discuss.
The story
Christmas is coming, and the whole world is getting ready. Ryan, despite being very clear that he didn’t want to appear on any TV shows or movies, has been strong-armed into participating in a Vought puppet Christmas special. He draws the line, though, when asked to sing about turning one’s parents in if they start talking about woke things.
Meanwhile, The Boys are trying to keep each other together. Butcher decides to take Sameer to the rest of the team. He also gets Frenchie out of prison, hoping they can make the Sup virus necessary to finally take down Homelander. Instead, this decision means disaster for one member of the team.
What worked
I first want to talk about Ryan’s speech near the end of the episode. Because it was exactly the moral of this whole story.
Ryan’s dad is a monster. His stepdad is also kind of a monster. But Ryan is a good kid. He cares about people, about family. And while he loves Homelander and Butcher, he doesn’t want to be like them.
Even better, this speech sounded like something a kid would say. Ryan didn’t open his mouth and start sounding like a college student all of a sudden. He sounds like a kid who misses his mom and wants to live up to the good standards she set for him. And I think that’s terrific.
Speaking of Homelander, he shot himself in the foot in this episode. I said earlier in the season that his hubris was going to be his downfall, and I was right. Without Sage, he just has the same weaknesses he’s always had. He’s going to fail because he just isn’t clever enough or patient enough to succeed.
Without Sage, I think a win is in the bag for The Boys. This isn’t to say that Homelander by himself isn’t dangerous. It’s just that he’s more like a wildfire than a controlled burn. He’s going to cause a lot of damage, but not get anything he wants out of it.
More’s the pity for him and everyone else who has to share his world.
Finally, I am thrilled with A-Train’s redemption story. I love that he wants to be a good person not to save himself, but to be a good person. His honest, pure and warm reaction to that little kid smiling at him in the last episode was heartwarming. It changed him in a moment, bringing to light a goodness that he’s been keeping under wraps for a long time.
This, along with Ryan’s courageous speech, proves once again what The Boys does so well. Yes, it’s gruesome. Yes, there’s blood and balls and batshit events. Yes, someone occasionally gets ripped in half. But there is a true human goodness in the story. One that we catch glimpses of. There are good people among the monsters. There is hope for redemption.
What didn’t work
Of course, so few things in this life are perfect, and this episode was no exception. For instance, I was irritated by the insinuation that Butcher cheated on his wife.
That just doesn’t make any sense. We’ve seen flashbacks of Billy and Becca. They were happy. He was happy. He was head over heels for her. And I don’t think it’s realistic or necessary for the character to throw in that he cheated. It does nothing to add to the story, it’s just a weird and offputting moment.
Doesn’t Butcher have enough to hate about himself? Can’t we just give him that at least he was a good husband?
Finally, I kind of hate that we ended up with Annie being caught. It’s just cliche, which is something I don’t normally say about this show. It feels lazy unless they do something very clever with it in the last episode. Which, I suppose, they might.
Next up is the season finale. And with this season being as insane as it has been, I’m expecting nothing short of bloody fireworks. And I mean literal fireworks of blood. At this point, would it surprise anyone?
(4 / 5)
Episode six of The Boys was one of the most surprising episodes of the series so far. And that is certainly saying something. Because this season has so far been bonkers.
The story
Our episode today revolves around a party at Tek Knight’s lovely mansion. Yes, it does look just like Wayne Manor.
The Boys know that Tek Knight is working with Homelander on something, but they don’t know the details. So they decide to send Hughie in to bug the mansion.
Because that’s worked so well the other two times he’s tried to hide a bug!
It should surprise no one that this time goes no better. Hughie finds himself in Tek Knight’s basement. And by that I mean his BDSM dungeon.
Meanwhile, the party upstairs is no less disturbing. Homelander and Sage are trying to convince some well-off political donors to support a cue after the election. When pressed for details on his plan, Homelander freezes. He looks to Sage for help, but she wasn’t recently shot in the head and still in the junk food stage of her healing.
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your point of view, Neuman jumps in and saves the day.
What works
If I’m going to say one thing about this episode, it didn’t hold back at all. I didn’t expect them to show a character masturbating, sitting their bare behind on a cake, or spraying breastmilk into someone’s face. But every time I thought they’d cut the scene and let something be left to our imagination, they did not do that.
This is a dangerous move. Whenever you show the monster, you run the risk of them not being scary enough, or gross enough. As Stephen King says in Danse Macabre, to leave this sort of thing to the imagination if the reader makes things so much worse. So when they finally experience the monster, they might say that this isn’t so bad. It could have been so much worse.
But in this case, they managed to avoid that by making the scenes, especially the ones in Tek Knight’s dungeon, so much worse than I imagined it would be.
What doesn’t work
While this was a deeply disturbing episode in many ways, there was one really innocent and sweet moment.
And yes, I did have a problem with it.
Confronted by Firecracker, Annie decides to apologize for spreading rumors about her when they were kids. She tells her that she is genuinely sorry.
And I believe her. I don’t think Firecracker did, but I did.
So why is this an issue? Because I’m starting to think that Annie is maybe too nice. She is too good.
I know that Annie is our good guy. But every one of the other good guys has flaws. Hughie let his pride get in the way and took Temp V. MM hid himself from his daughter instead of teaching her to work through her emotions. Kimiko is far too closed off and has a hard time trusting others. Frenchie numbs himself with drugs. And well, what hasn’t Butcher done?
It is unrealistic that Annie is just so kind and so flawless. We all have shadows in our personalities. We all have weaknesses, we all mess up. We all do things we wish we could take back. The fact that Annie doesn’t seem to have anything like that is not just unrealistic. It’s infantilizing.
Give her some deep dark secrets. Give her something real to regret.
This was a shocking episode, even for someone fairly jaded like me. I wasn’t expecting the sort of weird sexual depravity, though I guess maybe I should have seen it coming. It was dark, upsetting, tense, and funny as hell. And with just two episodes left in the season, I can imagine the stakes are only going to get higher.
(4 / 5)
By the way, if you like my writing you can get my short story, Man In The Woods, on Smashwords and Amazon.
