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I am not a huge “furry” cryptid fan. Bigfoot, for me, is not extremely interesting. To me, if there is a “missing link” mammal walking around and stinking up the place, I’m far less impressed than, say, an ancient dinosaur (and brethren) existing beneath murky waters. There’s more history there. There’s surviving a lot more crazy shit to still exist. Humans are new animals, so the link between our ancestors and what we are today is like talking about a decade old Twinkie.

Huh. Yep, okay…So, that’s it, then?

So, I’m new to director Seth Breedlove’s work. He’s worked on such documentaries as Boggy Creek Monster, Invasion on Chestnut Ridge, Beast of Whitehall, and The Mothman of Point Pleasant.  These are all documentaries that I would probably not watch…Or rather, that I might not have watched before sitting down to check out Momo: The Missouri Monster.

Glorious…

The Plot:

The setup is mockumentary-style, with documentary interviews interwoven within the concept.

The show Blackburn’s Cryptid Casefiles begins, attempting to separate fact from fiction with local accounts of the creature called Momo, spotted in the 1970’s. The mockumentary uses a “never-released” movie from the 70’s of Momo as the time-line and central story-line, pausing to reflect on the events with real residents of the area in actual documentary portions.

From the story, we learn about how Momo possibly came to be (was an alien), some of his encounters (carrying a dead dog and stealing peanut butter sandwiches), and his possible demise (being shot in the least climatic way). Or was it?

I swear, Momo, if you don’t leave, I’m playing my country version of Wonderwall

Thoughts:

I’m just saying this out loud: Momo….is an alien…that looks like moldy spaghetti….and steals peanut butter sandwiches….  

From the fog, he came; and from the fog, he went..taking my lunch with him

But as bad as the movie is (and it even nudged later at this fact), and hoo boy, it does get bad…

Apparently the aliens are everywhere and are more confusing than frightening…

But as bad as it gets, it did a good amount with the budget that it had. There are a lot of good shots, and while they are not clever shots (thinking about the railroad scene), there is a sense of tongue-in-cheek to them.

I don’t want to scare you, but your much larger ghost is following you

The B-movie portion is bad, especially the acting, but the effects are good (too good for the 70’s, though). Again, not working with much, they seemed to make it work. There was a disturbing lack of Missourian accents in the movie portions, which I missed. And also a disturbing lack of human emoting…

I killed the beast. Great. What’s for dinner? Meatloaf again?

I have to say that they ruined the last shot of the “movie”, though, which was sad because it did get an actual start out of me before pushing into trope of the monster running in slo-mo towards the camera and the film burning. I know they weren’t going for subtle, but that would have been a really clever shot.

And let it be known that my title is also Chronicler of the Strange.  

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Brain Roll Juice:

Just what the hell is this? This is the most pathetic investigation board I’ve ever seen.

I didn’t come expecting much. I expected even less when I saw a quote from Roger Corman in the beginning. I expected even less, less, less when I saw the acting…

Huh. You saw the monster, too? Groovy. What’s for dinner? Meatloaf again?

And somehow, still, I was charmed by it. I thought the old movie mash-up, while awkwardly cut, was an interesting concept. Even though it played like a mockumentary, there was a lot of love given to the not just the monster, but the town it originated in. In fact, most of the beginning is the history and culture of Louisiana, MO as it developed as a city, which I found oddly touching. It’s obvious that Mr. Breedlove has reverence of these small towns and is not there for exploitation, but for their mystery and charm.

Being a dual citizen of Missouri and Michigan is what brought me to watch this movie. As much as it was a love letter to cryptids, it was a love letter to these quiet pockets of Americana.

And in the final moments of the movie, the shift of this low, low budget mockumentary turns back to the history and people of the place and who lived during the events. Heartrendingly, it draws comparisons between the legend of Momo and the decline of the city. Most people have forgotten about the legend – some have moved away, others have gone on with their lives, and some have passed away. The movie makes the case of the preservation of a people’s history and culture, and the role that legends play in that, which resonates deeply for me.  

A badass music video is about to begin and I’m into it

This movie isn’t about a guy in a suit, pretending to be an alien stealing peanut butter sandwiches, it’s about the human experience. Good and bad. The fears that we have that connect us and the hysterias that pull us apart. The towns that we’ve made and the towns that have made us. The forgotten history of where we come from, and the pale hope that those memories and shy mysteries will continue to live on within us and within the next generation.

You’ve probably never heard of Momo and, unfortunately, a lot of the younger residents of Louisiana, MO have not either.

Bottom-line:

It’s a cheesy (sometimes cringey) romp, with a refreshing amount of heart. I was moved. 3 out of 5 stars (3 / 5)

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When not ravaging through the wilds of Detroit with Jellybeans the Cat, J.M. Brannyk (a.k.a. Boxhuman) reviews mostly supernatural and slasher films from the 70's-90's and is dubiously HauntedMTL's Voice of Reason. Aside from writing, Brannyk dips into the podcasts, and is the composer of many of HauntedMTL's podcast themes.

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Movies n TV

American Horror Stories, The Thing Under The Bed

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We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.

As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.

The story

We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.

Debby Ryan in American Horror Stories.

This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.

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What worked

In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.

Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.

This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.

Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.

It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.

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What didn’t work

I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.

I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.

All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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American Horror Stories, Leprechaun

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If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.

Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.

The story

We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.

We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.

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Hudson Oz in American Horror Stories Leprechaun.

Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.

What worked

The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.

I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.

I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

What didn’t work

That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.

Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.

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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.

Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.

There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.

3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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American Horror Stories, X

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It happened. It finally happened. We got another good episode of American Horror Stories.

The story

We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.

We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.

Mia Isaac in American Horror Stories.

Not like she’s happy about it.

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Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.

Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.

While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.

What worked

I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.

I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.

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Henry Winkler and Mia Isaac in American Horror Stories.

Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.

Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.

Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.

While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.

All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.

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There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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