Episode two of Sabrina, season three left me with some real concerns about the future of this show. Or at least my ability to keep watching it. 

In this episode, Sabrina finds out that she has to drag souls to Hell. When she meets the first Hellbound man, she finds that she doesn’t have the heart and sends him to Heaven instead. The second man, though, is monstrous. He’s kidnapped a child to lengthen his life, and if Sabrina drags him off to Hell the child will certainly die.

Alright, let’s start with the most glaring problem with this episode. Sabrina’s supposed to be so smart. She tricked Lucifer, saved the world, put Lilith on the throne of Hell. But then, she just dances blindly into the salt circle around Lucifer. People who saw five minutes of Supernatural in a waiting room knew that was a damned stupid idea! Shouldn’t she have known that?

But I can’t put all of the blame for this episode’s suckage on Sabrina. There’s also the Sabrina 2, Roz and Sabrinarepeated drawn-out musical numbers. Why the hell did we need the music? It’s bad, it’s jarring. It’s a little embarrassing to be caught watching, to be honest. And honestly, who are these numbers even for? I’m watching a show about demons and witches. I don’t think there’s a lot of crossover between the occult and the fans of Bring it On.

Now that I’ve taken a break from Sabrina, let’s get back to how she ruined this episode. Why is Sabrina always the worst, and yet everyone lets her get away with everything? She let a man go to Heaven, without knowing anything about the situation. The first soul she’s supposed to drag to Hell seems like a sweet enough old man. He wanted to be a great chess master. How sweet. 

Maybe he made that agreement with Lucifer, knowing that other people would suffer. Maybe other people died, or at least were cheated out of a title they earned. I mean, it’s a deal with the devil, those things are possible. We don’t know. But Sabrina just sends him off to Heaven, because she knows better than everybody.

She also leaves Lucifer in the basement of the school of Night, without warning her aunts. She put everyone in that school in danger, and she never even considered that. 

But no one takes her to task for it, not really. Aunt Zelda tries to yell at her, for like a minute. And then she’s just right about everything, even as she puts innocent people at risk.

Finally, can we be a little more creative in prayers and overall worship than just inverting Christian dogma? The prayer to Lilith is the prayer of the Virgin Mary, just flipped backward. The students hold their hands upside down when they pray. It’s just lazy.

Sabrina 2, Roz and HarveyFortunately, there are many good points to episode two. There had better be, to try to balance out all that lazy writing.

From the first two episodes, the show is gearing up for Lucifer and Blackwood to be good guys. Or at least allies. There seem to be two morals looming. There is a balance between Heaven, Hell and Earth, and it needs to be protected. And there’s always a worse enemy looming. I love this for a couple of reasons. For one thing, no one is pure good or pure bad. We all have good and bad in us, and I love seeing that in villains. For another, the balance of light and dark is always a deep and rich topic to discuss. I’m hoping we see more of that than teenagers dancing to old rap songs.

I also continue to love everything Lilith does. She’s so snarky, so blunt, so smart. I loved that she is the only person trying to take Sabrina down a few pegs. My absolute favorite part of this episode was right after Sabrina sent the chess player to Heaven. She shows up out of nowhere, sighs, and says, “Why are you the worst?” I love it, that’s so perfect. Sabrina needs more of that.

I am going to keep watching, of course. I’m too invested to stop now. But if we could stop with the Scooby-Doo level musical numbers? Please, just stop.

2.5 out of 5 stars (2.5 / 5)