I sort of figured at the start of the season that the freakier someone looked, the better person they were likely to be. And so far, I’ve been right. 

Stanley and Emma, perfectly normal-looking people, are evil bastards. They’re plotting to kill each freak, one by one, to display their bodies in a museum of oddities.

They’re starting with Bette and Dot. Stanley takes them on a picnic and gives them each a lovely cupcake with pink frosting. But here’s a quick tip. If you want to poison a woman, don’t tell her she’s going on tv then offer her something calorie-dense to eat.

Try again, Stanley. Or, you know, don’t.

Jimmy, who doesn’t look that freakish despite his hands, is striking out. He comes on to Emma, who shoots him down. He then goes to Dell’s trailer, trying to find the barker as the show is about to start. Instead, he finds Desiree, hammered. Dell’s gone, she has no idea where. But she’s afraid that he’ll never come back.

In a moment of loneliness, she and Jimmy start fooling around. This comes to an abrupt stop when she starts bleeding profusely from her lady parts. Sadly, it turns out she had a miscarriage.

So where was Dell while his wife was suffering? He was at gentlemen’s club, talking with a hooker named Andy. Dell’s in love with Andy. Andy’s just doing his job.

Played by Matt Bomer, Andy’s likable at once. So when Dandy comes to his table, we’re immediately apprehensive.

Dandy, who would look fine if he had any idea what to do with his hair, is a monster. Worse, he’s the kind of monster who has no excuse. He helps his mother bury their housekeeper, then plant flowers over her body. He swears that he’s going to find some creative outlet. 

But he doesn’t mean it. He instead is luring innocent people like Andy to Twisty’s old home to slaughter.

This character is fascinating in his wretchedness. He screams at Andy that he’s not dying fast enough. That he’s making him feel bad. Dandy is horrifying in that there is not a part of him that sees others as people. And he will, without hesitation or the slightest bit of fines, murder anyone he wants. 

I miss Twisty.

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