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Steve Miner’s Halloween H20 seems like it was destined to generate mixed feelings. For starters, the man who played Dr. Loomis, Donald Pleasence had died, so he obviously wouldn’t appear in the movie. Fortunately, they didn’t cast someone else to play him, aside from a brief voice impersonation by Tom Kane, and they did not egregiously try to resurrect him through CG animation. These were wise decisions.

However, what might disappoint some fans is that Halloween H20 does abandon the whole “Thorn Trilogy” story arc. Some had been invested in that storyline, and it appeared to be casually tossed away, or sidestepped, if not nuked from orbit. While not everyone appreciates Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, some did and wanted a follow-up, or they were just thrown off by the abandonment of that story.

Then again, there are always some who wish the story had evolved with Michael Myers’ niece, Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris), as the new killer, or maybe as a strange protégé (admittedly, either story idea might have ended up terrible, but the potential was there). On the bright side, Halloween H20 did make a few bold ideas come to life, and we’ll look at those first.

Halloween H20: Strengths?

When looking at horror films, one of the go-to topics will be “the kills.” Halloween H20 actually has a few decent ones. It also pays to remember that, for the most part, the original Halloween featured what might be considered “meat and potato” type kills. It’s mostly just him swiping at people with knives or, in the case of Annie Brackett (Nancy Kyes), a combination of choking and slicing. Steve Miner’s film is not the goriest in the Halloween franchise, but the death of the character Sarah Wainthrope (Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) is particularly memorable (or painful to watch).

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As another possible strength, this film doesn’t abandon the premise that Michael (Chris Durand) and Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) are brother and sister — unlike 2018’s Halloween (which sidesteps that, as well as scrapping both the “Thorn Trilogy” story and practically all unique elements from this film, aside from the “Laurie’s revenge” motif).

Personally, I never had a problem with them being related, as I think it adds some depth to the characters. Sure, it humanizes Michael a bit, but less so than similar examples, such as the relationship between Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) and his brother, Brian (Christian Camargo), on the series Dexter. It complicates their dynamic rather than subtracting from it.

I also like how Laurie has largely moved on from the traumatic events of Halloween 1 & 2. In fact, she even has a boyfriend (Adam Arkin), even though they seem awkward and timid with each other. She has moved away from the Myers’ house and is the headmistress at a boarding school. Also, when Michael arrives and the shit predictably hits the fan, there’s never an expectation that she’d attempt to alert Dr. Loomis, even if he was alive. At the same time, this perhaps helps shatter the illusion that Michael could easily kill them all.

Halloween H20: Weaknesses?

Yes, I feel I need to discuss this film’s weaknesses a bit, too, and one of the weaknesses is actually Laurie’s strength. Yes, I know, you might be saying “That’s sexist!” but hear me out. Back when Myers was in his house in Haddonfield, he had what might be called “home-field advantage.” He was basically in his element, where he would stay for a time. Take him out of that and what do you have? Well, it’s a bit like taking Freddy out of Elm Street. Sure, you could do it and maybe it can work, but that certainly doesn’t mean it will work as well.

Add that to the growing perception that Laurie is ready, willing, and able to kick Michael’s ass and a lot of the tension is gone. Now, honestly, I was never that afraid of Michael Myers or most slasher villains, so to lose the fear factor, even more, doesn’t really do this movie favors.

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Yes, we might look at the example of someone like Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), who ended up kicking some alien ass in “Aliens.” However, that was in outer space and more obviously an action movie. While I’m glad they didn’t put Michael in space (as they did with Jason, the Leprechaun, and even Pinhead!), I’m not sure they put him in a compelling place in Halloween H20. It seems like the boarding school environment didn’t add much and, frankly, the matchup between Michael and Laurie also seems to end a little too quickly.

The Big Critique

Plenty of horror movies fail to fully explore their dynamics. Others perhaps benefit from not doing so. At the end of the day, it can be hard to walk that fine line between revealing too little or too much. I can imagine writing Michael Myers is tricky for that reason. In contrast, in some characters, you fully expect them to get cheesier and to have more quirky details revealed. For example, one might expect Chucky (Brad Dourif) to delve deeper into the whole voodoo doll thing, especially when the character actually is a frickin’ doll. Similarly, everyone would expect The Evil Dead franchise to summon some crazy demons.

However, just like you wouldn’t expect a whoopie cushion scene in Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, you probably don’t want Michael to become less mysterious, less threatening than in previous films. In this case, Michael Myers doesn’t really come across as supernatural, or like an evil, mysterious force. He’s a bit more like just some random guy in a Halloween mask. He might still be dangerous, but he doesn’t seem as much like Michael Myers.

I have heard others make this critique, and I’m not trying to rip them off here. It’s just something I definitely agree with. I would contrast it with “Part 4,” in fact. Yes, that movie has some detectable flaws, too, but when Michael Myers falls into a mineshaft, it somehow still feels like it’s him. In fact, to prove I’m not screwing around here and playing favorites with this critique, I’d even say the Michael Myers from the much-hated Halloween: Resurrection is more like the old school Michael than the one from Halloween H20.

Final Thoughts

On the surface, it probably seems like I hate this movie, or like this is a hit piece. I actually don’t hate it, but just think it should’ve been beefed up a bit more, and some things could’ve been better. Yes, Michael’s abandoned house remains freakier than the boarding school environment, and the film lacks the flair of Dr. Loomis (for obvious reasons). Still, this movie ends on a respectable note with a bold decision regarding the main villain’s fate. That alone might be respectable, in some way. And, holy shit, I need to stop typing now…

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What are your thoughts on Halloween Water…oops, I mean Halloween H20?! Let us know in the comments! (Just don’t pin us to a tree with a vehicle and lop off our heads over this article)

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Movies n TV

American Horror Stories, The Thing Under The Bed

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We’ve reached the final episode of American Horror Stories, season three. After the ups and downs of the season, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt that we were due a big finish, Killer Queens. But I feared we were in for a big letdown.

As it turns out, The Thing Under The Bed was neither.

The story

We begin our story with a little girl named Mary, who is scared of something under her bed. She sneaks out of her room, only to be caught by her father and sent back to sleep. And of course, there is something horrible waiting for her under her bed.

Debby Ryan in American Horror Stories.

This scene cuts away to a woman named Jillian. She has strange dreams, including one about Mary. But her husband, Mark, doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s only interested in a little lovemaking because he wants a baby. Jillian doesn’t, which makes total sense because she’s already married to one. But her irritation with her childish husband goes away when he goes away. And by goes away, I mean he’s sloppily devoured by something vicious under their bed.

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What worked

In short, this episode just worked. The acting was professional and believable. The cinematography and lighting work were wonderful, adding spooky effects and startling moments without impairing visibility.

Best of all, the story was solid. There were no plotholes to be found. Our main character, Jillian, was relatable and sympathetic.

This was maybe my favorite part of the story. I thought Jillian was a remarkably sympathetic character. She was dealt a hand she never asked for, having her husband slaughtered in their bedroom. I don’t think she missed him, so much as she was afraid of the legal ramifications of being caught with literal blood on her hands.

Then, when it would have been safest for her to just lay low and save up for a good defense attorney, she instead goes into unlikely hero mode. She does her best to save people, putting herself in legal and physical danger. It’s hard not to root for her.

It’s also a little hard not to root for the antagonist, too. I don’t want to ruin the twist for you, so I’m going to tread lightly here. But it’s great when you have an antagonist who might be off their rocker, but also maybe has a point.

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What didn’t work

I can only really think of one complaint with this episode. And that is how frequently one character says the word Chickadee. And if you’ve seen the episode, you know what I am talking about.

I get it, he has a pet name for his daughter. It’s adorable. It’s meant to convey that the two of them have a healthy loving relationship and I get it. We all get it. Blind monks get it. But the fact remains that no parent on Earth calls their kid by their pet name every single time they speak an individual sentence to them. It was just too damn much.

All in all, this was a good episode. It was a classic story, turned on its head, told by professionals from start to finish. And I hope that if there is another season, we see more stories like this one. But after the efforts put into this season at large, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last we see of American Horror Stories.

4 out of 5 stars (4 / 5)

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American Horror Stories, Leprechaun

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If you’ve watched enough short-form horror anthology shows, you’ll notice that some stories are mainstays. Each show seems to put on the same sort of episodes, with the occasional surprising storyline that we’ve never (or at least rarely) seen before.

Leprechaun was an example of a repeated story—the story of a greedy thief whose punishment far outweighs the crime.

The story

We begin our story in 1841, with a drunk man leaving the bar one late night. He’s distracted by something glowing at the end of the well. When he reaches down for the glowing thing, he falls in. Moments later, he screams.

We then cut to the modern day. The well is still there, and now it’s surrounded by a dying town. In this town lives a young man named Colin. He’s married, his wife is pregnant, and he’s out of work. Like many of his friends.

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Hudson Oz in American Horror Stories Leprechaun.

Desperate for cash, Colin and his friends decide to rob a bank. They put together an Equate version of Ocean’s Eleven, and break in one night. But, of course, they find that the gold is nothing more than bait. And the creature waiting for them is something they never expected.

What worked

The first thing I want to point out is how real this episode felt. At least to anyone currently living in the same small town they grew up in. These characters felt like guys I went to school with. Guys I would see at the bar.

I appreciated the real anger and frustration these characters are feeling. Especially Colin. He’s bitter, and maybe he has a right to be. He did exactly what he was supposed to do to succeed. He went to school and invested in his career, and yet now he’s out of work and struggling to support his family. I probably don’t need to tell you how that feels. Because of this, we can all kind of understand why he was tempted to rob a bank.

I also want to talk about the fact that this was, as I said, an often-explored story. That can be a bad thing, but it can also be a good thing. This story is told over and over because it’s a good story. A relatable story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

What didn’t work

That being said, this version didn’t try to do much to break out of the mold.

Because we have seen this story so many times, most of us could tell the story themselves. I would have expected something new, or some twist. But, in the end, the story didn’t bring anything new to the discussion.

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Maybe because of this, the ending left a lot to be desired. Trapped in the basement of the bank, everyone just sort of stares at everyone else, until the thieves give up. And that’s it. The ending wasn’t scary, shocking, or funny. It was just sad, on multiple levels.

Overall, this was an okay story. It was entertaining, if not surprising. I would compare this episode to homemade macaroni and cheese. Everyone’s got their own version, they’re all pretty good, and none of them are exciting.

There’s just one episode left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope they’ve saved the best for last.

3.5 out of 5 stars (3.5 / 5)

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American Horror Stories, X

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It happened. It finally happened. We got another good episode of American Horror Stories.

The story

We begin our story late at night, with a hospital security guard named Malcolm. He is frightened one night when he sees a woman with a distorted face in the hospital parking lot.

We then joined an RN named Claire. She’s doing her best to explain to a struggling mother that the hospital will not be able to treat her son with cancer because she can’t afford the treatment.

Mia Isaac in American Horror Stories.

Not like she’s happy about it.

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Fortunately, Dr. Nostrum, played by the legend Henry Winkler, swoops in at the last moment to tell the mother that her son qualifies for a special place in his cancer treatment clinic.

Claire is lamenting the fact that she became an RN to help people, but it feels like she isn’t doing anything good. Then, she and her friend Lilly stumble upon the same woman who menaced Malcom the night before.

While Claire is trying to figure out what’s wrong with this woman, she brutally slaughters an orderly and vanishes into the hospital. But not before struggling to say two words to Claire. Ward X.

What worked

I want to start by praising the effects of this episode. Because they were fantastic. Aided by the black and white filming, the bloody and distorted faces of Alice and her fellow victims are nightmarish. They look like a horrific version of Lockjaw taken to a terrifying extreme.

I also want to discuss the fantastic work of Henry Winkler. He is an absolute legend and never has a bad project.

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Henry Winkler and Mia Isaac in American Horror Stories.

Winkler’s character in this episode was exactly what we’d expect from him. He seems genuinely warm and kind, concerned about others’ well-being. Even when he’s planning to kill Claire, he comes off as such a caring guy.

Finally, I want to talk about the historical significance of this story. Because, like I always say, the scariest stories are the ones based on truth. And I’m sorry to say, this story has a basis in truth.

Mankind has a dark and twisted history when it comes to medical advances. Most doctors and scientists are good, moral people who abide by the first line of the Hippocratic oath, to first do no harm. Some, historically, are little more than monsters in white coats. Consider the Tuskegee Experiment, Unit 731, and the horrific acts of Josef Mengele. If you’re going to look up that middle one, be warned that it is NSFL.

While this episode of American Horror Stories was a work of fiction, it wasn’t that far off. I don’t think many of us want to admit how close to real life it was. This is the gift of good horror, to force us to come face to face with the worst aspects of humanity. To acknowledge them, accept them, and change them.

All in all, this was a perfect episode. The acting, the effects and the story were all top-shelf. And it’s certainly a story that will stick with you.

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There are just two episodes left in this season of American Horror Stories. Let’s hope that they reach closer to the quality of X, and away from the dull and dismal episodes that began the second half of this season.

5 out of 5 stars (5 / 5)

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