‘Killer Klowns from Outer Space’ Needs a Lousy Sequel!
Killer Klowns from Outer Space. What happened to the whole sequel idea that was bandied about some time ago? It seems Mickey Mouse didn’t like it!
You know what? If you hate Killer Klowns from Outer Space, I’d probably hate you. Well, okay, maybe Killer Klowns isn’t worth getting into fistfights over, but it’s definitely a fun horror movie. It’s brimming with over-confidence in its overindulgence in clown-terror. The question is, what happened to the whole sequel idea that was bandied about some time ago? Well, prepare to get pissed off at that damn rat, Mickey Mouse.
It appears he ran out of room in his bloated nest for these carnivorous clowns. When the rat king purchased FOX, it messed the whole idea up. Now these Klowns are said to be permanently homeless, presumably with nowhere to go and no one to kill! That’s right: There are Killer Klowns in limbo! In fact, Disney apparently scrapped over a hundred other projects — but perhaps none as precious as The Return of the Killer Klowns from Outer Space in 3-D!
Trying to Not Hate Disney
Look, when I was in high school, I tried to appear more rebellious than I actually was. I read anarchist literature, listened to punk rock, even shopped at Hot Topic a couple of times. That changed as I got older. Now I’ve sold out a thousand times over because I need a job and whatnot. Still, I have to wonder, will Mickey Mouse ever reach a point where he says, “Okay, I’ve consumed enough of the American cultural landscape now. I’m fat enough. Time to retire in my rathole and leave the world my existing droppings to enjoy”?
Then he could perhaps stop acquiring, watering down and outright canceling so many projects. Seriously, could they not make something like a live-action Aladdin (with a weird-ass Will Smith Genie) while also having a Killer Klowns from Outer Space sequel? In fact, I publicly proclaim that, were Disney to actually allow this project — especially without totally Disneyfying its content — I would not trash talk them for a good long while.
How a Sequel Could Happen
Rather than bash Mickey Mouse, I suppose we could sweet-talk the beloved rat into freeing up the Klowns for another manic murder fest. We could pray to an altar of Mickey, Goofy, Donald Duck, etc. We can profess how enraptured we are with his superhero movies, and beg for more live-action adaptations of Aladdin, The Lion King and god knows what else (a de-contextualized remake of Song of the South?).
Why not petition to have Donald Duck on the cover of GQ, put Mickey’s beautiful, omniscient face on the dollar bill (or at least Mount Rushmore), and convert town after town to mimics of Celebration, Florida? In other words, put away your giant rat-trap projects, people. Mickey knows what is best! Disney, Disney, all the way! Disney, Disney, USA! Disney, Disney, all the way! All dissenters, go away!
What are your thoughts on Disney halting the sinister tide of Killer Klown carnage (don’t worry, I avoided using another K!)? Squeak at us in the comments!
The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine Special Live Watch Party February 10th!
The sweet putrid stench of love lingers through the air which can only mean one thing…Valentine’s Day and its annoying little winged cherub, Cupid, is fast approaching. Soon, partners will be spoiling one another with extravagant bouquets of roses, heartfelt Hallmark cards, obnoxiously large teddy bears, glistening diamond jewelry, and heart-shaped candies or boxes filled with assorted mediocre chocolates. You know? Normal things couples do. I tend to prefer my chocolate boxes filled with bleeding hearts, à la ‘My Bloody Valentine’ but, beggars can’t be choosers, right? All jokes aside, Valentine’s Day is special for many couples, however, there are also many others who find themselves celebrating this day without a significant other. Luckily, Shudder, along with drive-in king Joe Bob Briggs and co-host Darcy the Mail Girl (Diana Prince) will graciously be keeping us lonely mutants’, and yes, all you horror fanatic couples’ company on Friday, February 10th as they return with The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine, premiering live at 9pm EST.
We're headed to Vegas for the Mutant Wedding of the Century! Joe Bob's Vicious Vegas Valentine. . . . Friday the 10th 9pm . . . And you will not BELIEVE what movie the happy couple has approved for the wedding itself! #twistedlove #thelastdrivein pic.twitter.com/buzOvGkytI— Joe Bob Briggs (@therealjoebob) February 2, 2023
Love Spells Abound…
Back in 2021, Joe Bob and Darcy invited us to a gruesomely passionate night of spell-binding love witches and animatronic dinosaurs infused with teenage human brains during The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob Put a Spell on You. Many, including myself, were introduced to the tantalizing 70’s inspired retro throwback ‘The Love Witch’ and the graphically goofy cult classic ‘Tammy and the T-Rex’, providing the perfect viewing pleasure to mend any broken heart. While the two films for this year’s morbid love-induced special have yet to be announced, as a special treat, Briggs has announced for the first time on The Last Drive-In, he will be marrying one lucky couple during the live showing. We here at HauntedMTL are eagerly awaiting the return of the ghoulish duo so, as is tradition, we will be proudly hosting a watch party on Twitter during the broadcasting of The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and tag us @hauntedMTL as well as @shudder, @therealjoebob, and @kinky_horror to partake in this night of unholy love.
What started off as a one-time special premiering on Shudder July 13, 2018, ‘The Last Drive- In’ was originally meant to be Brigg’s swan song; one last special before hanging up the bolo tie in retirement. However, due to so many mutants, excuse me…viewers tuning in and breaking the Shudder servers, it was only natural to announce an official full season of ‘The Last Drive-In‘, which would make its explosive debut March 19, 2019. Since then, Darcy and Briggs have spawned many exclusive holiday specials, have graciously donated to many charities within the community, and have accumulated 4 seasons of ‘The Last Drive-In’, with a fifth currently in production premiering on Shudder’s 2023 schedule sometime this year, let’s hope sooner rather than later.
Horror Noire, a Film Review
Horror Noire is a horror collection that includes “Daddy,” “The Lake,” “Brand of Evil,” “Bride Before You,” “Fugue State,” and “Sundown.”
Horror Noire is a horror collection brought by the combined efforts of AMC+ and Shudder. The collection includes “Daddy,” “The Lake,” “Brand of Evil,” “Bride Before You,” “Fugue State,” and “Sundown.” Horror Noire boasts Black directors and screenwriters, providing six unique stories.
As this collection explores six stories, I will skip the usual synopsis to assess the genres and ideas explored, albeit limited as needed. Expect to find supernatural horror, creature features, and psychological thrillers. Many short films deal with these genres while exploring Black issues, but this isn’t universal for the collection.
The directors and writers include Zandashé Brown, Robin Givens, Rob Greenlea, Kimani Ray Smith, Steven Barnes, Ezra Clayton Daniels, Tananarive Due, Shernold Edwards, Victor LaValle, and Al Letson.
What I Like
Each story remains unique, holding different strengths and weaknesses that highlight drastically different perspectives. Collections like VHS hold a similar premise to create their collection, but Horror Noire gives more creative freedom to its talent to be independent.
My personal favorite short film is Zandashé Brown’s “Bride Before You.” This period piece unravels a fable set in the Reconstruction Era. The entry feels Fabulistic in approach, which happens to be my preferred niche.
However, the best example of horror goes to Robin Givens’ “Daddy,” providing an existential horror tied directly to the characters involved.
What I Dislike
As mentioned, all have a particular style and idea. The downside of this approach always remains to keep the viewer interested long enough to find their favorite. If you find several underwhelming choices, this becomes a chore. But I imagine that is rare as the variety makes the options refreshing.
Personally, “Brand of Evil” had an interesting premise, but the execution fell short. On paper, it might have sounded like my favorite, which makes the lackluster execution a bigger letdown.
Horror Noire gives power and control to Black creators, providing a formula for a unique collection against others in the space. While the various subjects and approaches mean you aren’t likely to love them all, there should be a short film for everyone.
(3.5 / 5)
Episode six of Netflix’s Dahmer was not, honestly about our title character. Instead, it was about one of his victims, a man named Tony. We’ve actually seen Tony a few times during this series. We just didn’t know it was him.
And, well, he wasn’t exactly alive the first time we saw him.
Tony was born into a supportive, loving family. This is good because soon after he was born a viral infection took his hearing. He is black, deaf, and gay in the early 90’s.
Tony has a dream of becoming a model. And he certainly has the looks for it. He is beautiful, body and soul. He has lots of opportunities for romance, but it’s not what he’s looking for. He wants a real relationship.
Eventually Tony moves to Madison, trying to pursue his dream. He gets a job and starts getting modeling work.
Then, he meets Jeff Dahmer at a bar.
At first, we can almost believe that it’s going to be alright. Jeff seems happy. He’s taking care of himself. He’s not drinking as much. He even has his dad and stepmom over for dinner. It seems like his life is getting on track. Even better, he’s treating Tony right.
Then, of course, things go bad.
One thing that has always bothered me as a true crime fan is that we know so much about the killers, but not as much about the victims. Not so much if we don’t know who the killer is, of course. But the names that are part of our pop culture are those of the killers. Dahmer, Manson, Jones, Bundy, Holms. The names we don’t know are Roberta Parks, Beth LaBiancas, Leno LaBiancas, and Tony Hughes. And clearly, we should know them.
If Tony Hughes was half the shining, positive person that the show Dahmer made him out to be, I’m so sad that he isn’t with us anymore. We need so many more people like him. And many of Dahmer’s victims were likely just like him. After all, he was attracted to them for a reason.
This was a significant episode, and I understand why it’s the highest-rated episode of the series. I finished it with a heavy heart, saddened by the loss of a man who should still be with us today.(5 / 5)