Welcome back to the Drive-In, everyone. We’re officially back to weekly double features after a pair of marathons for Halloween and a very Red Christmas. For those two marathons, we covered the movies in individual recaps and reviews. However, with the weekly double feature, we’ll be covering two movies at a time as we did in the first season. We’re also changing up the format just slightly as well.
Anyway, as always, allow me to toot my own horn. Remember that I’ll be taking over the HauntedMTL Twitter feed on Fridays to live-tweet the fun, so please join us!
Chopping Mallwas definitely the most coherent of the two films of the night. Joe Bob basically presented one for the normies and one for the freaks. The fact that we can call a movie where people of indeterminate age get murdered in a mall by security robots one for the normies belies how safe the first film of the night was in comparison to the film that closed the night.
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That’s not to say Chopping Mall isn’t fun though. Any film with Kelli Maroney and Barbara Crampton is going to be worth a watch. Though really, it is kind of hard to classify Chopping Mall as a straight-up horror film. It’s thrilling for sure and has some great slasher hallmarks, but it’s a lot like the original Westworld. It a techno-parable and satire but you’re not entirely terrified of what is going on. This is especially true of Chopping Mall given all the winks, nods, and lampshade-hanging to film within. Plenty of clever Roger Corman references to be had as well. It is a film that doesn’t take itself seriously and that’s just fine. As Joe Bob put it, it’s a 2 1/12 stars film.
It was a bountiful premiere as Joe Bob was able to get Kelli Maroney on, thanks to Darcy’s tireless efforts, to discuss egregious camel toe. It was just that sort of episode. Between some of Kelli’s own stories about making the movie and her career (particularly starting off as jail bate type characters) and Joe Bob pointing out a hell of a lot of appearances from horror staples, Joe Bob still somehow found time to talk about the legendary Dick Miller. The biggest surprise for me, personally, is a blink-and-you-miss-it appearance by the Tall Man himself, Angus Scrimm.
Look, Chopping Mall is a solid time on the couch given the pandemic we are dealing with. It features a lot of hot idiots in a mall being slaughtered by robots for not practicing social distancing. It also has a ton of goofy jokes and references and even has Beef from The Phantom of the Paradise in a small role.
Plus, the amount of wasted toilet paper alone in the ending is enough to send a shudder down anyone’s spine.
I give Chopping Mall 3 and 1/2 Cthulhus.
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(3.5 / 5)
Best Line: “Oh! Fuck the fuchsia it’s Friday!” – Greg
Gather around the Barbara Cramp-fire.
Opening Rant: Proper in-flight literature for a flight to Australia.
Blood Sucking Freaks is not so much a movie as it is an experience. It is firmly in the Sleazy Seventies territory and you are either going to love it or hate it. There is no middle ground here.
I loved it.
It’s not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. There is no real story, scenes meander comically long, and it’s mostly gore and sex for the sake of gore and sex. Yet it all works so delightfully as an oddity with a lot of things you’ve probably never seen before. Plus, there are just so many great little moments that you’re amazed have been recorded and distributed and that you are streaming in your living room.
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Things like a dwarf giving himself oral sex with a severed head, or a cage full of crazed and feral nude women eating a cop who looks like David Berkowitz. Also, there is a scene where two men play darts on the nude, painted backside of a woman. “White slavery” is used several times in the script with little to no sense of irony. At 3 1/2 stars, you gotta wonder what was possibly keeping it from Joe Bob giving it the full 4 stars.
The film stars relative unknowns; professional theater folk and sex-workers alike, and it’s all thanks to the magic of Joel Reed. Plus, it is one of the first Troma films to pop up on the show. This is probably the absolute craziest The Last Drive-In can go and still continue on Shudder. It makes Street Trash look tame; y’know, the movie with dick football.
Blood Sucking Freaks is a wild way to open the season, especially as a followup to Chopping Mall, which is conventionally safe. I applaud Shudder for making the strange, strange pairing. Probably the strangest since the pairing of DEATHGASM and The Changeling in season one. It does a lot to turn the show into a conversation piece. The host segments also took the time to discuss Joel Reed and how batshit legendary he was. The episode was recorded just prior to Joel Reed’s passing.
Speaking of conversations though, the experience was made so much better with Chris Jericho serving as the official co-host of the episode. Jericho is probably the most popular wrestler in the world right now and he’s got some all-around horror-cred. His appearance was welcomed and I daresay he’d make a great guest in the future. All credit to Kelli Maroney, of course, for her stop by the trailer in the first half of the night, but Chris Jericho added certain energy that complemented the style of Joe Bob Briggs quite well. Plus there was an absolutely fantastic musical interlude.
Who says that Blood Sucking Freaks didn’t have a cultural impact?
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So, Blood Sucking Freaks is an absolute shitshow, albeit an entertaining one. It’s not a good movie and to award it anything more than the barest minimum of a point on my scale would immediately devalue any other score I assign. But goddamn is it an entertaining experience. I can see why Lloyd Kaufman wouldn’t release it today… but I am grateful that he did. It is possible to love something so much that is so clearly awful? I think so.
I give Blood Sucking Freaks a score of 1 out of 5.
(1 / 5)
Best Line: “This isn’t S&M, this is Art!” – Natasha
Fresh from the tap, much like how Canadians drink the syrup right out of the maple tree.
HMTL Drive-In Totals
Loads of totals this first week. Let’s check ’em out. First, we’ll start off with the official Drive-In totals during the two films, then our own.
We average the individual ratings of the two episodes with a bit of what we call the “Joe Bob Bump” to rate the double feature for the night. Basically, if we had fun during the episode that bumps up the average, even if the movies are terrible.
I mean, we’re here to watch bad movies, right?
(4 / 5)
I hope you enjoyed this trip to the drive-in. Please be sure to join us next week during the stream and join us in the festivities on Twitter. If you haven’t experienced The Last Drive-In before (then why are you reading this review?) you can get familiar with it by using the code “SHUTIN” to get 30 free days of Shudder.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow is a 2020 horror comedy directed by Jim Cummings. The cast of this horror includes Jim Cummings, Riki Lindhome and Robert Forster. This R-rated film is currently available for DirecTV and Shudder subscribers.
Deputy John Marshall (Jim Cummings) faces a messy divorce, an ill father, a serial killer and crippling addiction. With Marshall’s life spiraling, he focuses on a mysterious killer plaguing the town. The brutality of the crime convinces locals that the murderer is a werewolf, a possibility Marshall cannot entertain. As John Marshall tries to keep order in the town, his conviction crumbles.
Jim Cummings as Deputy John Marshall
What I Like
The comedy reflects the spiraling chaos that runs through a control freak’s mind as they lose control. This comedy lands best as Marshal spirals further and further into disarray. Viewers should expect a dry wit layered with sarcasm. If this type of humor doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, The Wolf of Snow Hollow would be hard to recommend. Nearly every character plays their part to perfection, building off each other. Jim Cummings seems to have created a team to complement his project.
Another impressive comedic element comes from the film’s ability to jump between serious issues and comedy without the humor undercutting the weight of those essential moments. Though somewhat flawed, it remains consistently effective.
Despite the fact this is a horror comedy, the monster adds genuine horror to the film. Part of the mystery comes from that line between the possibility of a killer or a real-life werewolf, which I won’t spoil here.
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The werewolf design, though traditional, is consistently believable. With one exception that felt purposeful in context, the creature works surprisingly well for a horror comedy.
Jim Cummings creates these rapid scenes that show time passing. As mentioned earlier, these scenes reflect Marshall’s mental state. It surprises me how clearly and haunting they convey information while noting elements of comedy. Again, not always perfect, but effective.
Robert Forster as Sheriff Hadley, Riki Lindhome as Detective Robson, & Jim Cummings as Deputy Marshall
Trigger Warnings and Tired Tropes
John Marshall struggles with alcoholism, often falling victim to the disease. Despite the comedy label, this element remains mature and respective. Regardless, I understand this is a sensitive issue that worth noting.
The film can get gory and dark, but rarely more than a horror fan expects. However, one of the victims is a baby. Though no act appears on screen, viewers may require prior knowledge.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow Promotional Art
What I Dislike or Points to Consider
Don’t expect a detective tale or any focus on a mystery. If this movie is anything, it’s a character study of John Marshall. The killer isn’t a figure we uncover through available information. The Wolf of Snow Hollow focuses on the stress that unravels our characters as they investigate. The trailer was a bit misleading, creating a focus more centered on the mystery and comedy of the film.
Without going into too much detail, some of the deaths get overshadowed by those earlier-mentioned scene cuts. While I still stand by my praise of these scenes, some of these deaths needed more silence and longevity. Though I recognize this might ruin the comedy focus of the film, death should have weight in a story.
This film isn’t scary. While some moments might unnerve you, don’t expect to be haunted.
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Zeth M. Martinez
Final Thoughts
While not a traditional werewolf film, The Wolf of Snow Hollow remains a surprisingly effective horror comedy. If you like your humor dry and dark, this film might align with your taste. However, this barely makes the cut in the horror genre. Don’t expect to jump or scream. If this sounds like your taste, then give The Wolf of Snow Hollow a view. (3.5 / 5)
They say good things come to those who wait, and boy have we been patient. It has been close to a year since our eyes have indulged a full season of ‘The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs’, in fact, the season 4 finale premiered on Shudder July 1st, 2022. Since then, we have been able to satisfy our appetites with festive holiday specials sprinkled throughout the past year. Specials such as ‘Joe Bob’s Halloween Hangout’ guest starring horror’s favorite Mistress of the Dark, Elvira(played by the legendary Cassandra Peterson) and ‘Joe Bob’s Ghoultide Get-Together’. Last month was a treat in itself, as we were able to witness Joe Bob Briggs and co-host Darcy the Mail Girl (Diana Prince) marry one lucky couple for the first time on the show with ‘Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine‘ special.
host Joe Bob Briggs and co-host Darcy the Mail Girl on the set of ‘The Last Drive-In‘.
While the current changes in staff at Shudder have left fans questioning whether we will receive a new season of the popular series, I can happily say mutant family, we need not worry. In fact, to our wonderous surprise, Joe Bob Briggs has officially announced via Twitter, season 5 of ‘The Last Drive-In‘ will be premiering April 21st, exclusively on Shudder! One thing that is noteworthy, is unlike previous seasons, it has been reported by 1428Elm that season 5 will be broken up into two parts of five double-feature blood-curdling episodes. Though we have not been provided the official release schedule for the second block of season 5, here is a sneak peek of what we can expect for the first half of the season:
April 21: Season 5 Launch Party! April 28: Walpurgisnacht Part 2! May 5: Cinco de Fucking Mayo! May 12: Mama’s Day! May 19: Dysfunctional Family Jubilee!
Unfortunately, we do not have an official list of the brand-new double feature films for the first half of season 5 but, with amusing episode titles such as these, one can only imagine what grindhouse-classics will be joining ‘The Last Drive-In’s’ already eclectic list of sloshy goodness. For those impatient mutants eagerly waiting for more hilarious Joe Bob rant-filled commentaries, or those newcomers who’ve yet to experience the magic that is ‘The Last Drive-In‘, all previous four seasons, including past holiday specials are currently available to stream now on Shudder.
If you are just as big of fans of ‘The Last Drive-In‘ as we here at HauntedMTL are, please be sure to follow us on Twitter @HauntedMTL and join us April 21st as we tweet along with Joe Boband Darcy the Mail Girlfor the season premier. As is tradition, we will be hosting live watch parties every Friday with each new episode, including fresh holiday specials. The road to season 5 is upon us…let the countdown begin!
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April 21: Season 5 Launch Party! April 28: Walpurgisnacht Part 2! May 5: Cinco de Fucking Mayo! May 12: Mama's Day! May 19: Dysfunctional Family Jubilee! . . . and that's only the beginning.#TheLastDriveInpic.twitter.com/WfeTx0shNa— Joe Bob Briggs (@therealjoebob) March 16, 2023
Mutant family, please gather ’round as February kicks rocks and we shove our way into March. With the new month comes the shifting from winter to spring as death beautifully resurrects back to life, drunken patrons swarm our local bars like rabid locusts for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, and of course new exclusives and returning favorites on Shudder to satisfy the horror fiend in us all. To quote the prestigious Samuel L. Jackson, “hold onto your butts” and let’s dive right into Shudder’s March 2023 release schedule.
Shudder Exclusives
While it is true that the release schedule for the start of 2023 on Shudder has been minor and slightly mixed, with films such as the much talked about experimental low-budget indie ‘Skinamarink‘, the surprisingly entertaining horror comedy ‘Sorry About the Demon‘, and writer/director Neil Marshall’s return to the genre with ‘The Lair‘. We also graciously received the wildly fun ‘The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine” special, with season 5 currently in production and premiering later this year; though it can’t come soon enough. As we like to do here at HauntedMTL, let’s kick off March with Shudder’s newest exclusives currently streaming now and in the coming weeks.
Spoonful of Sugar – Now Streaming
‘Spoonful of Sugar‘ official poster.
Starting off this list we begin with director Mercedes Bryce Morgan and writer Leah Saint Marie’s latest film ‘Spoonful of Sugar‘, now currently streaming.
Millicent (Morgan Saylor), a disturbed college student working on her thesis about children with severe allergies, is hired to babysit little Johnny (Danilo Crovetti), a sickly, mute child who suffers from every allergy under the sun. His mother Rebecca (Kate Foster) is an accomplished author currently focused on her newest book release, while his father Jacob (Myko Olivier) spends his days in the backyard working on frivolous carpentry projects. After experiencing a bizarre sexual awakening while using LSD as an alternative treatment for Johnny, she soon uncovers the family’s dark secrets as things begin to become unhinged.
Leave – Premiering Friday 3/17
‘Leave‘ official poster.
After having been abandoned as an infant at a cemetery wrapped in a cloth with satanic symbols, Hunter White (Alicia von Rittberg) grows obsessed with figuring out who her biological parents are and why they seemingly abandoned her. However, as she gets closer to the answers she so desperately seeks, a malevolent spirit is warning her to leave.
‘Leave‘ premiers exclusively on Shudder Friday 03/17 and is directed by Alex Herron and written by Thomas Moldestad, starring Alicia von Rittberg, Herman Tømmeraas,Ellen Dorrit Petersen, and Stig R. Amda
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The Unheard – Premiering Friday 03/31
‘The Unheard‘ official poster.
‘The Unheard‘ follows the story of deaf 20-year-old Chloe Grayden (Lachlan Watson) after she undergoes an experimental treatment to restore her hearing. While recovering at her family’s beach home after the successful procedure, Chloe begins to fear she is not alone as she begins to experience auditory hallucinations related to the mysterious disappearance of her mother.
‘The Unheard’ is directed by Shudder alumni Jeffrey A. Brown (The Beach House) and written by brothers/screenwriting partners ShawnRasmussen and Michael Rasmussen (Crawl), co-starring Michele Hicks and Nick Sandow. ‘The Unheard‘ premiers exclusively on Shudder Friday 03/31.
Returning Classic and Fan Favorites
Now that we’ve removed the veil for the new exclusive titles dropping this month, I think it’s time we reveal the returning classics jump starting our transition into spring for 2023. Allow me to highlight some of my favorite films returning to Shudder for March including ‘Gretel and Hansel‘ and ‘The Company of Wolves‘; grim re-telling’s of popular children’s fairy tales. We also cannot forget John Carpenter’s haunted coastal horror ‘The Fog‘; no, not the remake…thankfully.
Gretel and Hansel – Now Streaming
Alice Krige as “The Witch” in ‘Gretel and Hansel’.
Directed by Osgood Perkins, ‘Gretel and Hansel’ is a terrifyingly dark and unique vision to one of history’s most famous childhood fairy tales. After being thrown out of their mother’s home, Gretel (Sophia Lillis) leads her younger brother, Hansel (Samuel Leakey), through the woods in search of food and work. The children soon discover a quaint cottage where a fragile old woman Holda (Alice Krige) offers fresh food and bed. The children accept all Holda has to offer, with little thought as to what may be asked of them in return.
Though it has been met with mixed reviews, ‘Gretel and Hansel‘ offers astounding performances by veteran actress Alice Krige as the films iconic Witch of the woods and Sophia Lillis as lead Gretel. Director Osgood Perkins does well to draw his viewer in with a beautifully haunting score and unnerving cinematography, making this one grim re-telling worth checking out at least once. ‘Gretel and Hansel‘ is available to stream now.
The Company of Wolves – Now Streaming
My, what big teeth you have…
Continuing our list of returning classics, we have yet another bold re-telling of a beloved children’s fairy tale, 1984’s ‘The Company of Wolves‘. While the story of ‘Little Red Riding Hood‘ has been retold through various forms of media, including numerous films, ‘The Company of Wolves‘ is a beloved horror interpretation with adult themes and memorable practical effects including one of the genres best werewolf transformations.
A wise grandmother (Angela Lansbury) tells her granddaughter Rosaleen (Sarah Patterson) a disturbing tale of innocent maidens falling in love with handsome strangers … and of their sudden mysterious disappearances when the moon is full and accompanied by the strange sound of a beast in the woods.
Writer, director, musician, and horror master John Carpenter is a legend in the genre having provided countless classics such as ‘The Thing‘, a terrifyingly gruesome remake of ‘The Thing from Another World‘. Or his sci-fi action/horror ‘They Live’ where he deals with societal control through corporations and government. And of course, my personal favorite, the film that jumpstarted his career and created one of horror’s most iconic slashers…’Halloween‘.
1980’s ‘The Fog‘ is a terrifying shoreside tale of vengeful spirits haunting the fictional coastal town of Antonio Bay, OR. as they begin preparations to celebrate its centenary. Following exactly 100 years after a ship mysteriously sank in the town’s waters, a thick unearthly fog harboring the souls of those who perished rolls in and with them, the dark secrets of Antonio Bay’s past.
For a full comprehensive list of all the titles being added to Shudder for the month of January, please refer to the graphic below. Please be on the lookout for our review of ‘The Last Drive-In: Joe Bob’s Vicious Vegas Valentine’ to drop later this week here on HauntedMTL and be sure to follow us on Twitterand Instagramfor more Shudder news and spooky reviews!
Shudder March 2023 film release schedule.
3/1:
Gretel and Hansel
3/2:
Spoonful of Sugar
3/9:
The Company of Wolves
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3/13:
Holidays
3/17:
Leave
3/20:
Jack be Nimble
3/27:
Ultra Pulpe
After Blue
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3/31:
The Unheard
The Fog
The Blair Witch Project & Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
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