Notes from the Last Drive-In: S3E2 – Audition and Class of 1984
Welcome back to “Notes from the Last Drive-In,” Haunted MTL’s review and recap series for The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs, a Shudder exclusive. This week, the second episode of season three, Joe Bob sits us down for an Audition, and inducts us into the Class of 1984. How do these movies connect? Who knows? We’ll probably figure out something by the end of our journey together. What a long, strange trip it promises to be.
Audition (1999)
Opening: Dudes, don’t be creepy when trying to meet ladies, Meet Cutes are only in the movies.
Takashi Miike’s Audition, adapted from Ryu Murakami’s 1997 novel, is one of the leading films in what was the 2000s’ wave of J-horror, and stands out, 22-years later, as a horror masterpiece. However, with the film being subtitled, it feels like the movie never quite gets its due for more casual horror viewers. Thankfully, a year after Parasite took home an Oscar for best picture, perhaps a more casual audience’s hearts and minds are more open to world cinema horror. Audition stars Ryo Ishibashi, Jun Kunimura, and Eihi Shiina in a stunning international debut. The film follows a lonely widower, Aoyama, who is convinced to stage a series of phony auditions to find a potential new partner. However, as he sets his sights on a sad, strange woman named Asami, he spirals into obsession and madness… and not necessarily his own.
The film is a stunning exploration of obsessions and gender and cultural norms in Japan that I am not nearly remotely qualified enough to unpack. The film is complex and with every watch I have ever had, my opinions on the two leads change and morph. The film is so subject to interpretation that theories upon theories can be found online making various cases and arguments for just what it all means. Ultimately, the film becomes a personal experience, colored by one’s own history and perceptions. is Aoyama a victim? Yes and no. Did he really experience what he experienced after sleeping with Asami? Who knows? Definitive answers are impossible, and anyone trying to sell you one is just as lost as anyone else.
The film is stunning in a number of areas, particularly in the areas of sight and sound. The film subverts romantic comedy cinematography and uses the camera in several interesting ways to develop an unsettled and uncanny world. What we see through the camera is unreliable, just as the experiences of Aoyama depicted. As his obsession grows more skewed, so too does the reality of the screen heighten. As for the sound, the score is effective, especially as it shifts between romantic themes and the unsettling, but the best work comes in the third act, where every gross, violent image is accompanied with some of the best Foley work I have ever heard. The effect is terrifying.
The performances of the two leads are magnificent, particularly Eihi Shinna as the mysterious Asami, who radiates an unsteady aura. This is helped by the cinematography but even on set, something about her still rattled Takashi Miike. During one of the segments Joe Bob point out that Miike avoided her between takes. Ryo Ishibashi is also fantastic, playing a handsome, vulnerable man who is initially sympathetic until the mask slips with each gradual and sinister allowance. As Joe Bob points out during one of the host segments, the camera focuses on Aoyama most times; Asami’s agency is supplanted by Aoyama’s gaze, a hint at the darker side of the courtship.
The segments surrounding the episode were informative, as expected from The Last Drive-In. Particularly of note were two moments. Before the movie Joe Bob discusses how we classify horror movies. Echoing Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart from Jacobellis v. Ohio in 1964, an important case on what qualifies as obscene or not, Joe Bob says of horror that “we know it when we see it.” Horror, much like pornography and all good things, is something that can be hard to pin down with words, but is in a state in and of itself. The second segment of note in the first half of the night was an extended gag poking fun at Joe Bob’s inability to pronounce Japanese words, with Joe Bob holding up a series of flashcards and Yuki read the names.
Joe Bob Briggs’ critical of assessment is spot on, giving the film the full four-stars. I am much inclined to agree with the perceived perfection of the film. While few films are perfect to me as I would argue that perfection is something that can be achieved, some get pretty close – Audition is one of those ‘perfect’ horror films and gets a full five-Cthulhu rating.
(5 / 5)
Best Line: “Deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper.” – Asami as she shows how much she really cares for Aoyama.
Class of 1984 (1982)
Opening: Corporal Punishment in Teaching (the holes make the paddle faster)
The second half of the night revolved around the 1982 high school crime thriller Class of 1984, directed by Mark Lester. The film is a satirical projection of anxieties regarding violence and crime in schools in the 1980s and would spawn two sci-fi sequels, Class of 1999 and Class of 1999 II: The Substitute. Class of 1984 stars Perry King, Merrie Lynn Ross, Roddy McDowall, and Timothy Van Patten. It also has one of the earliest film appearances of Michael J. Fox with an most unfortunate haircut. The film follows a music teacher, Andrew Norris, who is new to a troubled inner city school that is under the control of a group of “punks” who commit an extremely wide array of crimes. Eventually, Norris finds himself pushed to the extreme and must take action into his own hands to deal with these terror-teens… as violently as possible.
Most films on The Last Drive-In are just good fun for me. I love horror, but despite that, few horror films actually scare me – I walk through haunts laughing. I’ve grown up with the genre, watching violence and terror since I was a toddler. It probably did something to my brain. That being said, no film on The Last Drive-In has affected me quite like Class of 1984. For many, it is not really a horror movie, though, again, I defer to Joe Bob with “we know them when we see them.” The raw, visceral quality of the film, and the inhumanity on display by Tim Van Patten’s Peter Stegman and his merry band of ghouls is profoundly disturbing. I also work as a teacher, so the metaphor of systemic problems in education and the punishment of teachers who try their best to just fucking teach hits hard. Horror is all metaphor; the knife is a phallus, the zombie is a consumer, the chainsaw represents industrialized society – and the inhuman gang of teens of Class of 1984 are among these metaphors. I wouldn’t say that 1984 scared me, though but rather it woke something dark.
The film itself is competent, fun shlock with a lot of missed opportunities. But the key, here, is fun. The set piece in the final act is worth the watch alone. Performances are not subtle, but that’s fine because Roddy McDowall gnashes his way through his scenes, the best of the film, like the legend he was. Tim Van Patten is a cartoonish sociopath, but for a movie like this, it works. Perry King is serviceable, given the thankless role of being the vehicle of vengeance with little realistic development and forced to make dumb choices to move the plot along. His grimace has he murders teens, however? Fantastic.
The movie’s cinematography is pretty unimpressive. It’s competent and gets the job done, but it doesn’t “wow.” The music is better, featuring some solid punk music and a fun theme “I Am the Future” by Alice Cooper. But as a whole, the movie feels like a straight to video project, but lacks a low-budget surge of creativity. It is polished to the point of blandness – its saving grace is the story, some shocking excess, an iconic performance by McDowall, and its connection to Canadian horror.
Joe Bob’s treatment of the movie, I felt, was a little overly effusive. But again, our experience are our own – I do not always agree with his assessments. Three segments during the night were particularly fascinating. One extended segment featured the return of visual aids to a Joe Bob rant, where our venerable host covered the Van Patten family tree to an absurd degree. Absolutely hilarious. Another moment, earlier was a digression on the usage of “punk” in the film. As a fan of punk rock, and someone who is both in love and critical of the scene and its history, it is always a joy to listen to Joe Bob drop some knowledge of the scene. This time around, his focus was on the way punk is portrayed in the movie, and I particularly appreciate his pointing out a distinction between punk and new wave aesthetics. I’d be curious to learn more about his punk music knowledge, personally. The third segment I highlighted, was post-film, where Joe Bob expresses his concerns over how the ending was handled. he was appropriately critical, not disparaging the film, but I think being more honest about it. I would love to have picked his brain there, given his extended criticism, and asked him what his assessment of the film would have been then.
Joe Bob Briggs gave Class of 1984 the third four-star rating of the season. I worry he was a bit too generous. It is a fun movie – and it even got a particularly reaction from me – but it shouldn’t be rated on equal footing with Audition. As for me, the film earns a standard three Cthulhus. it is worth a watch, but temper your expectations.
(3 / 5)
Best Line: “I am the future!” -Peter Stegman, teen of terror
Haunted MTL Drive-In Totals
Our official totals this week, as always, come from the Shudder Twitter account.
As for our totals?
- 3 instance of Four-Star Feature this season
- 2 Instances of “Thee-ate-er”
- 2 instances of Darcy being Twitter Jailed
- 2 Yuki Sightings
- 100+ films by Takashi Miike
- Casting Couch Vibes
- Dead Mom/Wife
- Gratuitous Various Severed Parts
- Acupuncture Fu
- Japanese Pink Film Referencing
- Gratuitous Animal Murder
- Brainfuck Dream Sequence
- Second Polaroid Rape Sequence this season
- Cheese Joking
- Horse Joking
- Silver Bolo Award: Zombie Joe’s Underground
- Darcy Cosplay Count: 2 – Asami and Patsy
Episode Score
The pairing of films was pretty unusual. I can usually find a way to link the choices thematically, but I admit I am struggling a bit here. If I had to hone in on something, I suppose it would be obsession, as both films feature unhealthy fixations, but it is also a little too easy. The other thought, more abstract, admittedly, is the idea of transitions – moving between states. An audition is a way to force a change from one, high school is a period in which an individual is transitioning from childhood to a perceived adulthood. These transitions, however, are only as good as the intent behind them. Two films depicting two social institutions meant to transition individuals from one stage of life to another, both corrupted. There may be something in that.
(4 / 5)
See you all next week for more Drive-In fun. I’ll be live Tweeting the show from Haunted MTL’s Twitter account, so be sure to give us a follow there.
Movies n TV
Returning to the Soothing World of Evil with “The Demon of Death”
“The Demon of Death” is the season 3 premiere of the supernatural drama Evil, created by Michelle King and Robert King.
“The Demon of Death” is the season 3 premiere of the supernatural drama Evil, created by Michelle King and Robert King. The central cast includes Katja Herbers, Mike Colter, Aasif Mandvi, Michael Emerson, Christine Lahti, and Andrea Martin. As of this review, it’s available through Netflix and Paramount+ and its add-ons.
The assessors investigate the weight of a soul. Father Frank Ignatius (Wallace Shawn) agrees to participate in this test despite his growing disillusionment. David (Mike Colter) and Kristen (Katja Herbers) deal with the ramifications of their confessions. Kristen’s girls go on the warpath with Leland (Michael Emerson). Andy (Patrick Brammall) signs his death warrant.
What I Like about “The Demon of Death”
As season 2 ended with a cliffhanger, “The Demon of Death” picks back up with an interesting addition. The episode provides a more obvious stopping point that Season 2 should have taken advantage of. It dumbfounds me because this addition makes for a more interesting and darker cliffhanger. The added context would have made the cliffhanger more palatable. However, it’s a nice twist for the episode.
Dr. Boggs (Kurt Fuller) and Sister Andrea (Andrea Martin) make an interesting pair that adds complexity to both. We even explore some of Sister Andrea’s character flaws, best displayed by her interaction with Kristen in the next scene. Few wise sage characters that display flaws, making this addition appreciated.
Father Ignatius’ introduction adds layers of interest for a character who will play a recurring role, tying into Monsignor Korecki directly. The yet-to-be-explored relationship between Father Ignatius and Monsignor Korecki (Boris McGiver) evokes an interest.
While “The Demon of Death” isn’t a haunting episode, but explores the mysteries and terror of death through science to provide an interesting environment for an episode. It introduces a new character that adds to the cast.
Tired Tropes and Triggers
There’s not much to report here that particularly crosses the line and what teeters on the line holds a dark comedic tone.
Perhaps Sister Andrea’s flaw might rub some the wrong way, as it deals with her overwhelming faith. However, it’s a minor point at the moment. Again, I lean on liking some complexity for the wise sage archetype.
What I Dislike about “The Demon of Death”
“The Demon of Death” still plays it safe with its supernatural elements, but that does seem to be Evil’s standard. At this point of the series, it seems a strange restraint. However, the new normal remains functionally paranormal.
While the premiere starts with an interesting procedural plot, it doesn’t direct the season like prior premieres. This episode doesn’t deliver a massive refocus as season 2’s premiere, but that’s because its conclusion doesn’t deliver as focused of a direction. Regardless, “The Demon of Death” is still an episode that slips away despite its premiere status.
Ben (Aasif Mandvi) seems needlessly hostile as they investigate a soul’s potential weight. The study delivers a thorough scientific process, which makes his resistance linger on the “angry atheist” archetype.
The demon shown on screen certainly isn’t the demon of death the title suggests. While the plot revolves around the mystery of death, there is a demon with a more carnal domain. As future episodes dive into their respective demons, it does seem to be an inaccurate title. However, the demon of the episode will get further focus in a different episode.
Final Thoughts
“The Demon of Death” doesn’t stand out as a premiere but provides an interesting procedural episode. As Father Ignatius will become another key character in the series, giving him an entire episode to introduce him is a nice strategy. While it’s not a haunting episode, it still provides a level of camp with interesting characters to pull it off. (3 / 5)
Released in 2010, Rare Exports asks an important holiday question. One that no one else has dared to ask.
What if Santa was a ten-story-tall monster buried under the ice for centuries?
The story
Rare Exports is the story of a little boy named Pietari. After doing what is frankly too much research for a little boy, he realizes that Santa is not the jolly old elf we all think of. He is, in fact, a monster who eats bad children. And it turns out that Santa was trapped in the ice near Pietari’s little town. All this would be well and good if a Russian mining team weren’t in the process of cutting him out of the ice. So it’s up to Pietari to convince everyone of the dark, horrific truth.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
What worked
Some movies need to make sense. Some don’t. Rare Exports is one of the latter.
Why were the Russians digging in the snow to find Santa? What was the plan there? What happened to Pietari’s mom? And who did they sell the elves to? Do the elves need air or water to live?
We don’t get answers to any of those questions. And frankly, we don’t need them to enjoy Rare Exports.
This is a wild story about a little boy who discovers that Santa is a mythical monster with a bunch of scrawny old men with big white beards to do his evil bidding and eats bad children who haven’t been beaten by their parents enough. What sort of explanation would help this story in any way?
I mean, we could pick apart why it’s suddenly legal to sell people, or at least mythical creatures that look like naked old men, or why this all happened right next to the only little kid who had the exact knowledge needed. But in the end, wouldn’t that be like asking how Santa gets into people’s homes when they don’t have fireplaces? Doesn’t that objective reasoning just piss on the Christmas magic?
What didn’t work
While Rare Exports was fun, there were parts that I did not appreciate. For one thing, there wasn’t a single woman or person of any color in this film. Literally not one. Not an extra, not in the background. This little Finnish town is populated entirely by white men. And yes, it is Finland and there isn’t a hugely diverse population. But it’s also 2010. People move. Also, women exist.
On the subject of seeing too many white men, we also saw too much of the white men. Specifically, we saw far too many old white male actors entirely nude. There was just no reason for this. These men were portraying elves. They didn’t have to be naked. If they were naked, they didn’t have to have, um, yule logs. Maybe elves are like Ken dolls. There were so many options that didn’t include so much old man wang.
Finally, I wish we’d seen Santa Claus. Not to spoil the ending, but he never actually emerges to attack anyone. And that feels like a cop-out. If we’re going to be teased the whole movie with this depiction of monster Santa, we should at least get to see monster Santa.
Though, after what they did with the elves, maybe it’s a blessing we didn’t see him.
In the end, Rare Exports was well worth watching. It was hilarious, creepy and bloody. And while it wasn’t perfect, it was a delightful holiday horror comedy.
(4 / 5)
Released in 2016, Christmas Crime Story is about a disastrous robbery on Christmas Eve, and all the many lives impacted by the selfish decisions of one person.
And then, suddenly, it isn’t. But we’ll get to that part.
The story
Christmas Crime Story is the tale of a Christmas Eve holdup gone wrong. We see the story from several points of view, starting with Chris, the detective first on the scene.
Chris is having a hard Christmas Eve. So, on his lunch break, he visits his mom at her diner. It appears that they have a contentious relationship. But nothing is solved in this quick visit.
Chris goes on to pull over a man speeding. When the man, named David, pulls over, Chris discovers something in the trunk. That something must have been pretty damn incriminating, because rather than open the trunk, David shoots him dead.
We then switch to David’s pov for the night. Then his girlfriend’s pov. Then, the man his girlfriend has been cheating on him with. And on and on we go, until we see how all of these different stories and people come together for a dark, sordid Christmas Eve.
What worked
The first thing I want to say about Christmas Crime Story is that it’s heartwarming. Like, to a fault, which we will be talking about.
The ending is very sweet, in a Christmasy sort of way. Families come together, people are filled with joy, and all is right in the world for almost everyone. Except for Lena, who deserves to have a bad Christmas, everyone gets a happy ending.
That brings me to my next point. The characters, mostly, are all deeply sympathetic. Even when David or James are killing people, you feel bad for them.
You don’t agree with what they’re doing, but you do feel bad.
You have to feel sympathetic for the man whose girlfriend hired a killer to merk him. Or the woman whose daughter has cancer. Or the guy who just can’t find work, even though he’s trying to make good decisions. You want things to work out for them. You want them to be okay. Even when they do terrible things.
Finally, I always love stories told from so many different points of view. It’s always fun to see a story unfold in a nonlinear way, but in a way that makes more and more sense as we get more points of view. It’s a hard thing to pull off, and I think Christmas Crime Story did it very well.
What didn’t work
Unfortunately, all of the sympathetic characters and clever storytelling methods in the world won’t save a story that doesn’t work. And Christmas Crime Story just does not work.
Let’s begin with the ending. The big twist near the end of the movie. I won’t spoil it, but you will for sure know it if you’ve seen the film. Or, if you waste your time watching the film.
As a rule, twists work when they make sense. Not when it feels like the writers threw up their hands and said, “Okay, but what if everything we just did for the last hour and fifteen minutes didn’t happen, and instead…”
This wasn’t clever. It wasn’t fun. It felt like the writers didn’t know how to end their movie and just decided to cheat.
Finally, I mentioned earlier that Christmas Crime Story was heartwarming. And yes, that is nice.
But is it maybe a little too heartwarming?
I mean, we have an adorable angel of a child with cancer. Her parents don’t have enough money for her treatment. We have two poor guys who are in love with a black-hearted woman. And we have a detective so sweet and kind that he makes you rethink ACAB. And, he’s about to get married to his pregnant girlfriend. And they’re naming the baby after his mom. And his name is literally Chris DeJesus. His mom’s name is Maggie DeJesus. I tried to think of a sillier less subtle name to use as a joke, and I literally couldn’t think of one.
They could have at least named him De La Cruz. That would be more subtle, and I still would have complained.
In the end, Christmas Crime Story just missed the mark. It came very close to being a good movie. But it focused too much on how it wanted you to feel, rather than telling a satisfying story that made sense. Much like that third glass of eggnog, it’s fun in the moment and regretful after. If you’re looking for a satisfying Christmas horror, I’d suggest looking elsewhere.
(2 / 5)
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